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Comments For A New Day

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Reviewer: Merin Signed [Report This]
Date: April 09, 2014 - 02:54 pm
Title: Scars and Bad Tempers

As he listened, Findekáno shook his head in disbelief, while simultaneously memorizing every promise being made in order to recite them back to Maitimo in future arguments.

I smiled at that. I wonder if he ever does? It's sad to think how much time they do spend apart from the very near future until the end...

Reviewer: Merin Signed [Report This]
Date: April 09, 2014 - 02:27 pm
Title: Lost But Not Forgotten

very much enjoyed little Tylpe's earnestness. Not sure how long Maitimo was held prisoner if Tylpe is still only very little but remembers him? 

I liked the little glimpse of the brothers' characters, especially poor Carnister's abilities, and of course impetuous Irisse in the background. And Findarato! Finrod is often my favourite elf, I <3 him and Kano, Maitimo, of course...

Reviewer: Merin Signed [Report This]
Date: April 08, 2014 - 02:52 pm
Title: Cousins, Lovers and Conspirators

this is a joy to read. Your Findekano is wonderful, who could not love him?



Author's Response:

Oh, thank you so much! I am thrilled when people read this story and stop long enough to make a comment. I put my heart into this one.

Reviewer: erunyauve Signed [Report This]
Date: December 08, 2013 - 04:58 am
Title: Bright Morning

I can't remember if I've ever reviewed this story - probably ages ago, but when you mentioned it on your blog I had to tell you that this is sort of the definitive story to me for this particular part of the Silm.  I love the idea that they bring in Sindarin healers (it seems so obvious, that they would need healers who had some experience, but at least to that point, I'd never seen anyone write it).  And the scene - I think it's the next chapter - in which the Fingolfinians and Fëanorians meet again and exchange news, with all the confusion and especially Fingon's reaction - just kills me.



Author's Response:

Thank you so much for taking a look at it again and letting me know (I do not think I ever heard from you about it--I tend to remember reviews! fairly desperate for encouragement!). It means a lot to me to know that those things make sense to you.

I am one of those Silm writers who try to write in one consistent world. And this is more or less the base story for my world. So it was important to me.

Thanks again! I appeciate you taking the time to tell me! That means a lot.

Reviewer: Almare Signed [Report This]
Date: June 07, 2013 - 07:24 pm
Title: Bright Morning

This was probably the first fic I read coming back into the Silm fandom.  So  yes, just a thank you. <3



Author's Response:

Oh, you are so very kind! Thank you.

Reviewer: Spiced Wine Signed [Report This]
Date: June 30, 2011 - 11:32 am
Title: Epilogue

I have been in such a grumpy mood the last few days, and today I really wanted to read something First Age, which would just engross me and take me out of my mood. I could not find any story which drew me at all, so I came back to read this. :)

I still think no-one writes the Finwions and their complexities as you do, no-one writes these these two characters as you do, with such richness, such realism. They are so vivid it is almost startling, like seeing a splash or red paint on a snowy mountainside.

Although I've read more First Age since first finding this, I've never read anything that fitted all my criteria, XD lol, well, I did wait ages to find a story of Maedhros and Fingon in particular, so I had formed a very specific picture in my mind. This is still a delight to me, still as enthralling and fascinating as the first read.

I also love Mereth Aderthad in exactly the same way and for the same reasons. I just had to comment again, as re-reading this (again!) has really made my day!

Reviewer: Spiced Wine Signed [Report This]
Date: June 30, 2011 - 11:31 am
Title: An Intimate Dinner

I was hoping you would put up the MEFA banners. :) They were not there the last time I looked. I really whooped! when this story won First Place in such a broad category - Longer Works, General. I was thrilled. Silmarillion-based, M/M, but at last recognized as the masterwork it is!

Reviewer: Spiced Wine Signed [Report This]
Date: June 30, 2011 - 11:31 am
Title: The Games They Played

I've said it before and will again; no-one writes these two as you do, no-one writes the Elder Days Elves like this, with the depth, the characters, so vivid and so very real. The interplay and relationships between all of them is so elegant and quicksilver, so complex and each one different. It's a truly amazing edifice you have built with Maitimo and Findekáno, it's more canon than canon, in my eyes, or what canon should be. The best of the best. I always wanted to read this story,, and it took me over twenty years to find it, but it's so rich, so beautifully created, I couldn't imagine another story of them, or see it any other way, after this. Some fanfiction simply spoils me for any other interpretation, not many, just a bare handful, but this is one. I am so in love with this pair, and their relationship, they must be awfully proud of you :)

Reviewer: Spiced Wine Signed [Report This]
Date: June 30, 2011 - 11:30 am
Title: Scars and Bad Tempers

Absolutely superb, as always. Your characterizations of these most complex, yet most fascinating people of the Silmarillion is so realistic that I felt I was observing the evening as an invisible bystander who was invited in for the duration of the read.[ Fortunately and magically able to understand the language! ]
It really was like a total immersion into that time, so realistic and intense and so very real. Brava! You are another one of these true tale-weavers and word-smiths who are so very rare.

Reviewer: Spiced Wine Signed [Report This]
Date: June 30, 2011 - 11:30 am
Title: Lost But Not Forgotten

Re; your response. Yes, I did not really notice that you wrote with contractions etc. If I get pulled into a story I tend to * see * it in my head, and it's no longer about words, it's a full vision.
I write elder days people in archaic fashion because I am a parrot, >.< and reading the Sil every day for 20 years it sort of sinks in.
I don't write '' later '' Elves in that fashion [ with one exception ].
But no, I honestly did not notice, in fact I came back and read it again for the fifth time after reading your response because I thought '' Eh? ''. But that happens, as I said, if I'm submerged in a story, it plays itself in my head like a film.

You're right, of course, Tolkien did make the '' earlier '' version of the Elves less '' sanitized '' than the later ones. Like I said, I always look at it as a history, and as we know, history is replete with lies, cover ups, consipracies and innacuracies, which no-one can prove without going back in time and witnessing events.
So I look at it as Tolkien wallpapering certain aspects that he thought were too '' juicy '' for the time and society he hoped to publish in. Not deliberately lying, but prettying things up, and if it was being published now, it would be more '' raw '' and truthful.
I don't argue the points, since if people want consider the Sil and HoMe and UT as almost Biblical then that is up to them, I've always been one to read between the lines and think '' okay, what was behind that? '' and so forth.
My own effort on Fëanor and Fingolfin is utterly AU and non canonical, [ apart from the setting ] but I just thought the idea was interesting. I do say it's all AU, purists don't have to read anything like that if they absolutely wish to stick to rigid canon.

But you bring the Noldor to life just as I imagine them to be. I've always said it was not simply beauty or strength or brilliance of the Noldor which hooked me, but also their faults.
I've never had the slightest interest in the Vanyar for instance, as they seem too '' Holy ''. Ingwe seated at the feet of the powers - what does that leave any-one to imagine or write of?
The Noldor are beautifully flawed, and I call Fëanor uniquely flawed, they are not '' fairies '', or ethereal beings and you show their passions and feelings wonderfully.
I don't understand why you are apparently not a popular author, but you can only write what inspires you and what the Muses tell you, and if people don't like it - well they don't have to pay to read you. Possibly I'm older and I do know damn good writing when I see it, and since I view Middle-earth as a history [ which I also love ] I know just how much history is hidden, ignored and changed over time. This is like discovering the hidden records.

I can imagine you are not looking forward to Dagor Nirnaeth. :( And it is indeed doubly tragic since Maedhros did expect to win, and really should have.
Was he close enough to witness Fingon's death, do you think, he had Elven sight , but in all that conflict.. although a professional '' soldier '' can read a battle even if it just looks like chaos to ordinary people.

Again, I love the characterization, so very real, spectacular!

Reviewer: Spiced Wine Signed [Report This]
Date: June 30, 2011 - 11:29 am
Title: Cousins, Lovers and Conspirators

I kept reviewing and then deleting to add more, I remember. :)

~~

Wowowow! O.O, with extra wow.

I love your characterization, and the way you write - I could be there! I have not read an awful lot of Silmarillion based ff, but I have yet to find a bad one, simply because people who write it seem to have absorbed the Silm, UT and HoMe [ and don't whine about them being * boring * or hard work ] and that knowledge allows them to write easily within it. This is outstanding, you swim in the Elder Days as effortlessly as a dolphin, and your writing is elegant and passionate. I love to see the fire of the Noldor come across, it makes me weep when I see Elves portrayed as ethereal, angelic beings and the Noldor deserve this - how can I put it? - they deserve this door opened on them. It's like entering a room blazing with flickers of fire, both dark and bright, and pulsating with energy, love and hate, grief and sorrow. And that feels absolutely right . I could cheer.

I have to say here - and without shame - that after virtually eating the Silmarillion and UT for years before I read HoME, that I read LACE, and just went something like: '' Pfft. '' Since trying to equate the sedate boredom of those Laws and Customs with how the Noldor are portrayed in those books - how they burn off the pages even in the very succinct mode that Tolkien used in the Silm - was/is impossible. I felt like a child trying to fit one of those star shaped blocks into a square or round hole, and in the end I shook my head. It made no sense to me, it seemed almost as naive as stating seriously that every Mortal on earth lives by and obeys the Ten Commandments. I could envisage some world leader telling a visiting delegation of aliens that all humanity lived by these Laws, knowing damn well every-one bent to suit themselves!

And then I read that Tolkien had added that Aulë was the '' lover of Fëanor ''. [ Just a few words in Morgoth's Ring that people could easily miss ] I thought; That seems far more likely... I am obsessed by Tolkien's works and his world, and to me it feels like history, not myth, but certain things I disagree with as just being very unlikely and most of LACE comes under that. It does not feel correct to me, it almost feels like something patched over the truth of the matter to make it acceptable. [ Only my own view, but I go by my gut instincts and feelings, and won't argue the toss with absolute purists. Beauty is truth and truth is beauty and all that.]

I thought Maedhros and Fingon were lovers when I was a dewy-eyed 16 and like many parts of the Silm I wanted desperately to read the story behind the story. Therefore I will ignore LACE as being '' How- things-were-supposed-to-be-rather-than-t he-way they-were. '' in the matter of marriage, loosing the sexual imperative, homosexuality etc, even though I do know canon. If those who did not follow them had ''strange fates'': all the better for fanfiction writers. [I'll state my views are AU to stop purists turning flamethrowers on me.] Such Laws seem to emasculate the Noldor in particular, straightjacket them. To read stories like this is like opening a locked part of the Silmarillion, reading what Tolkien did not write about these passionate, fiery, emotional, doomed, tragic and fascinating beings. To me, this feels, as I said, * right *, it is how it was, to me. I feel that they are the true stories that were lost, or deliberately hidden.

I applaud the way that you seem to understand the Noldor and what drives them. You write as if you are one of them. Some people have posted on various Tolkien sites that the Oath of Fëanor, his sons swearing it with him immediately, [ not wandering off to have a brotherly conflab about what they would do ] Fingon rescuing Maedhros, Fingolfin challenging Morgoth, Finrod aiding Beren, Eol, Maeglin, and basically all of these acts, and the people who perpetrate them, are impossible to understand since their actions are too illogical, too intense, too over the top, too dramatic and unrealistic. Ergo: unreadable. [Such people are usually avid supporters of the Edain and big fans of Númenor and Mannish history and are rather glad that the Elder Days are over, it seems. Boo!] But the power and the flame of the Noldor, valiant, doomed, blazing, yet, to me not unknoweable and alien, sucked me in from the moment of reading. You are one of these rare people who aren't singed by that intensity and fire and are not afraid to prise between the pages of the Silmarillion and open them to what lies within. And I am thrilled by the way that you have written what - to me - sounds so real. This is how it was! is how I think of this work. It allows me to *watch* and visualize exactly what I have imagined over 20 years. Before I read any Elder Days fanfiction, I read on other sites what I would call advanced '' role-play '' which were interactive stories, some set in the First Age. But the writers were so determinedly canon-pure that they managed to make these characters dull as ditchwater, bland and clipped their wings entirely until one could not imagine them fighting balrogs, challenging Morgoth, or indeed having enough oomph to bother to turn up for a battle in the first place. All of which I would have said was impossible. I was almost afraid to read any Silmarillion based ff when I discovered it, in case this was a common trend.

This is what I want to read!

The Nirnaeth Arnoediad, you will be writing of that obviously. I will bawl. :( the way you write of Maedhros and Fingon's love... when Fingon dies, it will be traumatic for you. I want to read it, but I will be crying, I wager on it. Absolutely fabulous, thank you! I'm really floored by your writing!


 

Reviewer: Spiced Wine Signed [Report This]
Date: June 30, 2011 - 11:27 am
Title: Bright Morning

I am not exactly sure which chapter I reviewed first, Oshun, but I will put this here; and just to add, that my views on your writing are the same now as they were then.

I cannot believe no-one has reviewed this as it is truly excellent. Honestly, sometimes I come across Silmarillion based fanfic that knocks my socks of and humbles me completely. And this is one. I can't praise it enough. My verbosity has deserted me in the face of it, [ a rare occurance ] although probably because I am about to be off to bed, so I will continue this in the morning. :) with greater eloquence, I hope!

Reviewer: kiniro-no-hana Signed [Report This]
Date: December 20, 2009 - 02:35 pm
Title: Epilogue

great story!!! i loved the description conference of power to nolofinwe at his begetting ceremony. cool gift, to be a king for yr b-day! one thing id love to hear about is how he(nolofin) found out about fingon and maitimo and the ensuing reactions/fights/feuds. tht'd be very cool

Reviewer: ladyoflight Signed [Report This]
Date: April 17, 2009 - 04:55 am
Title: Bright Morning

It is a wonderfully spun pic. I was touched by the depth of the relationship that you showed here. Well deserved, the win at the MEFA!

 I rarely read anything other than JDE and Dawn here, dunno why that was so. Dawn's canon true and deeply researched works are always a delight to read(Another man's Cage). And JDE has an innate storytelling talent that just deposits the reader into the middle of her plot, (The song of sunset and the Journal).

But I finished this in one sitting. It was jsut wonderful. I loved your Fingon.

 



Author's Response: I am thrilled to find your lovely review. I could not hope to be placed in a happier category than to share the love and heart with which both Dawn and JDE write about those bigger-than-life, but so passionate and human, elves of the House of Finwë. (If you want to look at more I've written about these characters, I would recommend my Series here called “Maitimo and Findekano.” Not the short story alone, but all of my related fics (from drabbles to a WIP novella, listed in chronogical order of the events), which feature House of Finwë in this same story!verse. rnrnThank you again! So happy that you enjoyed it! Reviews like this making the writing worthwhile.

Reviewer: SurgicalSteel Signed [Report This]
Date: December 09, 2008 - 01:47 pm
Title: Notes

Firstly, I want to congratulate you on your well-deserved MEFA win!

You almost don't need to have read the earlier story to understand this one - I enjoyed it! The pairing was well-written and believable, as were the political machinations - and the care these two show for one another was just lovely.

Congratulations again!



Author's Response:

Thank you so much. Talk about impressive competition! When, I saw your novel and Dawn's novella in the same category I sighed (this was my baby, if I never got another First I wanted one for this one, for the emotional investment I put into it, if nothing else--I got lucky under the circumstances). I am well into your novel and enjoying it very much. Got pulled away by family distractions and the holiday (unfortunately my printer is not working, so must read it all online).

Thank you again for reading and commenting! I will review yours as soon as I've finished. What this fandom needs is more strong female characters.

Reviewer: elfscribe Signed [Report This]
Date: June 26, 2008 - 07:57 pm
Title: Epilogue

Hi Oshun,

I thought I'd repeat my review that I put in your LJ here:

Beautifully written. So completely and utterly romantic. I love their relationship. The scene at Angband was so well done. Often it is the small details such as slipping in some unnamed substance or trying to keep from lying against a fetid wall with open wounds that are truly horrific. His friendship with the elves very poignant and all the details of lying in a corridor and no need for locks in Angband. I could just see and feel and smell it.

It is good that Maitimo is opening up. The love scene was just perfect. Hot and emotional with such good dialogue. "Their minds were both wide open. Findekáno was aware of pockets of obscurity and shadows within Maitimo. Yet there was nothing sinister about them. It was like watching a mixture of light and dark clouds drift across the summer sky in Formenos, as though the contrast made the blue bluer and the light more precious than they ever could have been in the unvarying perfection of Tirion. For the first time since they had come back together, Findekáno felt he wasn’t reaching for or pulling at Maitimo for something he could almost but not quite attain." Gorgeous and “Let go now, Káno. I can’t hold on any longer.”
So well done, my dear. *smooches*



Author's Response: Thank you so much. I am continually flattered and honored by your support (you are such a good writer). I am happy for you to post a repeat of the review here, since there is only a narrow overlap of readers between this site and my LJ.

Reviewer: Moreth Signed [Report This]
Date: June 06, 2008 - 11:58 am
Title: Epilogue

First, I must apologise that it has taken taken me all week to write a review - but I wanted to read in depth and not just skim the surface!

I am awed by the Angband section - the straight-forward, 'this is what happened to me' narrative makes this very convincing. Not at all easy to write, I think, so very well done!

And then you manage to move them on to a point where they can take their relationship forward, and the reader (otr this one at least!) is left with the image of Maitimo and Káno together. Yay! The world is as it should be for them - at least for now...

As an aside from the main plot line - I just love the image of Fëanor's sons having uncontrollable, argumentative 'discussions' - no wonder Maitimo passed on the kingship! Good lord, just imagine running that rabble...



Author's Response:

Thanks for reviewing! I always appreciate your points--what you notice, what moves you, etc. You are definitely part of my "target audience" so I always hope you will like it. As I repeat ad nauseam I do find it hard to write brutal/violent/horrfying scenes. I used a sneaky way to get around it by having him tell a story, including explict details, but without graphic description. I also decided that I thought he would find it easy to turn, the initial account at least, away from how he was hurt to what he had seen.

The "uncontrollable, argumentative discussions" have a basis in both my childhood memories of a large family, in which we were encouraged to voice our opinions, (and I also married into a family like that) as well as various professional situations in which I have found myself.

I mentioned in response to another reader that one of my intents with this story was to show Maitimo had recovered enough at this point to plausibly be able to accomplish what he did over next few hundred years. That was my semi-polemic against Maitimo written as a totally, dysfunctional wreck. (I always want to ask: are we talking about the same guy who engineered the reunification of the Noldor, who took the first line of defense against Angband onto himself, and organized the massive alliance of Elves and Men who confronted Morgoth in the Battle of Unnumbered Tears?)

Sorry to ramble on so long and thank you so much for reading the whole thing!

Reviewer: Feta Signed [Report This]
Date: May 22, 2008 - 08:47 pm
Title: One Step Back

Alright, I read this yesterday (I saw it on your lj, but came here to read it because I wanted to reread the past couple chapters), and didn’t have time to review then, but now I am here.  And you have left me pretty much speechless.  With stories that I like as much as this one, I am always terrified that they’re going to be abandoned and unfinished forever.  So while I’m sad to see it drawing to a close, I’m glad that you went through with it.  What makes me like it so much?  For one thing, your elves aren’t just humans with pointy ears – but they’re not completely untouchable, either.  One can identify with them, but they are still recognizably elvish.  And that can be difficult to do.  And of course, I am in love your Maitimo (although what Maitimo do I not love?) – you’ve characterized him very well.  He is quite an amusing (and somewhat adorable) drunk, and his relationship with Findekáno is plausible, realistic, sweet, cute… hot… and pretty much just perfect.  I look forward to the epilogue.



Author's Response: Oh, Feta, what a nice comment. I am so pleased. I have been reading some of your stuff on your LJ (in fandoms I don't even know) and I have been struck how well you handle emotions and people who seem real, so it means a lot to mean that you like the characterizations. I'm crashing ahead on the Epilogue, which I hope to finish in a couple of day, and reading such a nice review makes me feel like it is worth the effort (writing costs me a lot!). I'm so happy you liked Maitimo too. People seem to more easily relate to my Findekano. But I'll have plenty of time to develop Maitimo as I will be continuing their story in other novels/novellas.

Reviewer: Fanari Signed [Report This]
Date: May 21, 2008 - 01:12 pm
Title: One Step Back

Wonderful to see this up at last! Just splendid and so engrossing as always. An " impossibly high standard " :)

Author's Response: Thanks! And thanks for the encouraging comments from you and all the writers at the Lizard Council while I was writing it. You are much too good to me.

Reviewer: pandemonium_213 Signed [Report This]
Date: February 12, 2008 - 11:20 am
Title: Abdication

I have thoroughly enjoyed every chapter of A New Day, but I have to say this is (fittingly) the most powerful of all.  Through your superlative wordcraft and story-telling, you've brought forth the satisfying culmination of Maitimo's recovery from the ordeals of Thangorodrim to the famous abdication through fabulous dialogue (your trademark!) and vivid scenes.

I've fallen in love with your guys (as you know) and can't get enough of them (thank goodness for the forthcoming "Fingon's Heir) but I am also very taken with your supporting cast.  Findaráto, Turukáno and Artanis are so well drawn here - very distinctive personalities!

Throughout the whole of A New Day, you've painted a vivid portrait of the complex House of Finwë, but in this chapter you've outdone yourself.  The scene of Maitimo walking through the crowd with Finwë's crown (and his uncertainty), the actual speech (like Moreth, I liked his adroit use of Sindarin to make his point), and the reactions of the Noldor - all ring true to me for this magnificient family and for this powerful but fractious tribe of people.

I loved the celebration, i.e., the dance and the reactions to it. I think we're very much on the same page here. :^) And this Tadiel - I like her a lot!  I hope we will be seeing more of her?

The scene between Nolofinwë and Pilimor is poignant - realistic and sympathetic.  Then for dessert, ah, yes, sweet, sweet eroticism which you handle so well and as I have said before, with authenticity, i.e., between two men.  Their declarations of love are incredibly moving.

Many thanks for sharing your creativity and your passion for these wonderful characters.  You've succeeded in creating "elvish drama" as Tolkien would put it, and pulled me inexorably into your secondary world.  Looking forward to more!

 

Reviewer: Moreth Signed [Report This]
Date: February 12, 2008 - 04:03 am
Title: Abdication

This whole series is great! I love the way you present the whole extended family, with all their complexities and past history driving the politics in the last chapter.

My favourite line (at the moment) is this: "He alternated phrase-by-phrase, first in Quenya and then in perfectly accented Sindarin..." In half a sentence you have Maitimo being an accomplished and very professional political leader, and an indication of all the tensions he has to deal with.

Very glad I found this!

Reviewer: Alquawende Anonymous [Report This]
Date: December 31, 2007 - 10:21 pm
Title: Notes

I enjoyed this a lot. I like that Fingon is more of an equal than a lesser being than Maedhros. Maedhros in here is obviously the beloved elder brother and it shows that the sons of Feanor did have feelings and that some of the deeds they did were hard choices for them. It makes one sympathize with them more. The way you showed how Maedhros held conflicted feelings about passing on the kingship was perfectly done. My favorite part has to be when Maedhros sees his cousin Finrod and compares themselves. It is very easy to understand the transformation Maedhros has undergone since his departure from Eldamar both mentally and physically with the sentence.

 Have to say that I'm glad that you included Finrod.  



Author's Response:

One fanon characteristic that I don't like is when Maedhros portrayed as somehow controlling Fingon, when in canon text Fingon is portrayed as excessively bold and independent. It doesn't make sense to me.

I figured you would like Finrod. He is a very good guy in this story. And, to be really silly, he is such fun to write because I love to describe him. I imagine him as very interesting to look at as well.

Reviewer: elfscribe Signed [Report This]
Date: December 02, 2007 - 03:55 pm
Title: Nolofinwë’s Begetting Day

Wonderful love scene, the right balance of hot and not too explicit.  (I'm guilty of sometimes being too detailed in my descriptions I think, lol).

As I said before, I do love the interactions of the brothers. The Feanoreans do do oaths well, don't they?  The language of Macalaure's oath is perfect.  Love the playful banter that actually is covering up tension, the way Maitimo used Macalaure's support to lever the support of others, the joke about heirs, and especially the jibe at Curvo's ambitions, a reminder of his being 5th in secession.  That last bit about the mathmatics very well done, "Ah yes, Curvo, nor is politics yours."  Very good.

   



Author's Response:  

It was a challenge to get the brothers' oath scene right--wanted to contrast the brothers and also get the hardcore/serious side of them without making them grim.

I love your detailed sex scenes-if I were better at it I would add more detail, but I'm guilty of the opposite. I have to watch a cowardly impulse to fade-to-black, when the story needs the detail. This one was fun to write though. I got a lot of teasing about it (from people who really liked it)-most of it too raunchy to share in a review. Mainly centered on Findekáno being very much himself.

Reviewer: elfscribe Signed [Report This]
Date: December 02, 2007 - 03:33 pm
Title: An Intimate Dinner

I quite like the politics, the fact that there is more going on in your story than just the love affair.  I liked Maitimo's admission: "Being my father's heir, the oldest grandson, meant something to me."

And of course F & M's lovely relationship, the sweet tumbling affection.  This was so like a man:  Findekáno did not think of himself as vain in the abstract, but he did admit to expedience-"   lol. "In fact, better yet, get rid of the trousers."
I do love their conversation as Kano is pushing Maitimo towards the bed, playful,loving, and yet it feels fresh, NOT the same cliches read many times in such  encounters. Hard to do.  

Also a note about your language.  It feels very appropriate - a little formal with no jarring modern vernacular and yet definitely not so formal, old-fashioned and stilted that it makes for difficult reading.  A good balance there.   



Author's Response: Thanks again for reviewing. I try very hard to avoid the slash clichés but there are just so many words one can use in a love scene. On the language question, I also try very hard to sit on the fence between jarringly modern and stilted and archaic. I have a list of my own of obsolete words I would never use. I can't complain about them though, because so many writers I really like do use them. Did a lot of soul-searching about using the f-word in this story. Finally decided that if anyone in Tolkien's universe would use it and stay in character, it would certainly be those crazy Finweans.

Reviewer: elfscribe Signed [Report This]
Date: December 02, 2007 - 03:03 pm
Title: The Games They Played

Again, I really like the sense of family you portray here.  The familiarity and easy joking is just right.  I also like the sense of political maneuvering under some of the jostling.

Author's Response:

So glad it worked for you. Galadriel didn't like the Fëanorians from both decent motivations and less than pure ones as well. The First-Age Galadriel is a far cry from the one who refuses the Ring. She is an ambitious woman in a man's world it seems to me and also very young and untested.




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