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Reviewer: Himring Signed [Report This]
Date: February 14, 2015 - 12:57 pm
Title: Death of Cold

"With a crack and a splash and a scream barely perceived" is especially alarming--although Elenwe isn't named here or perhaps because she isn't-- it makes you wonder whether the bystanders might have been too depressed and out of it to help her effectively.

That motion of looking heavenward, as one, caught me up, too...

 



Author's Response:

I think they were probably too naive too. Having a Ski Patroler as a husband, what he calls "tactical rescues" from icy water are hard to manage. I'd imagine they simply lacked the resources or the knowledge to be as effective as they probably could have been, with experience in those sorts of environments.

You are right that Elenwe does linger on the edges of one's thoughts in reading this piece. I don't recall if I intended it or not, but rereading it, I definitely experienced it as well.

Thank you for all of your reviews! :) When I saw this collection among those you could choose from for the newly assigned challenge, I thought, "Well, that'll be an easy one, to choose one ficlet to review." And then you commented on them all! :) Thank you.

Reviewer: Himring Signed [Report This]
Date: February 14, 2015 - 12:47 pm
Title: For Love of the Moon

This is very lyrical! It reads partly like a variation of the Endymion story, with reversed roles, almost, very suitable for Irmo as the Vala of Dreams, you would say, but there seems to be more to it than that. I can't quite pin down what it evokes--the contrast between the garden and the Outer Lands, the theme of embodiment...

Namo's eyes--"sharp and green like a beast's"--in particular have stayed with me somehow since the first time I read this one, I'm not sure why.

 



Author's Response:

I wasn't familiar with the story of Endymion (at least, not that I can recollect), but that's an interesting connection. I think there is definitely a tension between the disembodied and corporeal forms of the Ainur, also represented as Middle-earth versus Valinor. I suspect there would have been, as noncorporeal beings who chose and knew what it was to have a body. I think Irmo here is definitely preferring his embodied form. :)

Namo's green eyes have stuck with me as well! I manage to mention it in just about everything I write about him! :D It's mentioned, too, even just in the brief little bit I've written of the AMC prequel!

Reviewer: Himring Signed [Report This]
Date: February 14, 2015 - 12:34 pm
Title: Sudden Flame

The pines thrashing and falling--isn't there a bit like that in the Lord of the Rings? The visions in Galadriel's Mirror, maybe? Which would be very fitting, for a vison of Finrod's. Although of course these must be the pines of Dorthonion, caught in the firestorm from Angband maybe.

It is good to know that they laughed together, in Dorthonion--that there was not just the respectful distance between them, although the adventurousness of little Aegnor is poignant, too.

And even though the laughter turns to screams...



Author's Response:

You are right! There is a scene like that in "Galadriel's Mirror," in FotR:

As if a dark veil had been withdrawn, the Mirror grew grey, and then clear. There was sun shining, and the branches of trees were waving and tossing in the wind. But before Sam could make up his mind what it was that he saw, the light faded; and now he thought he saw Frodo with a pale face lying fast asleep under a great dark cliff. Then he seemed to see himself going along a dim passage, and climbing an endless winding stair. It came to him suddenly that he was looking urgently for something, but what it was he did not know. Like a dream the vision shifted and went back, and he saw the trees again. But this time they were not so close, and he could see what was going on: they were not waving in the wind, they were falling, crashing to the ground.

I didn't intend a parallel here, and having only read LotR once at this point, I don't think it was unconscious either, just using a similar image by coincidence. :) The pines, as you note, came from Dorthonion.

Reviewer: Himring Signed [Report This]
Date: February 14, 2015 - 12:21 pm
Title: The Bridge

The challenge did take you into new territory here, didn't it? I don't think you've dealt with Turin a lot. But he is very believable here. That bit about "do I list when I walk" (with the weight of Gurthang) really gets to me.

I guess you associate mercy with Orodreth here because he let Celegorm and Curufin go? Do you think Orodreth actually lacks the courage to speak to Turin or is this just Turin's view of him?



Author's Response:

It's honestly hard to say what I was thinking, since I wrote these seven years ago now! :) And as you note, this isn't an area of the canon where I've done a lot of work, so I don't have particularly strong opinions.

Then, I probably would have said that Orodreth lacked courage. Now, I would have a more nuanced view of his character.

I suspect that Orodreth's treatment of C&C contributed to my impression of him here, but I've also felt that he is the most like Finarfin of all of Finarfin's children, and I see Finarfin as a very gentle and merciful character. So there's a good bit of Felakverse in there too!

Reviewer: Ithilwen Signed [Report This]
Date: May 22, 2009 - 11:58 pm
Title: Love by Moonlight

"Nelyo. Hush. Rána upon the snow … look--it is beautiful."

 Not half as beautiful as this drabble is.  Quiet, lovely, and very moving!



Author's Response:

Thank you so much! I had to go back and read it. *blush* It's been a while! :)

Reviewer: Los Gloriol Signed [Report This]
Date: November 28, 2008 - 04:02 pm
Title: The Bridge

My favorite line: And I whisper upon the bitter wind, "Let them come."

I can picture Turin standing there resolute even though you can see the weight of the world on his shoulders. I find it amazing how one sentence can some times capture the character.

 Also when you talk about his feet planted wide, he seems so unmoving and resolute. Feels like Turin to me.

When Orodreth draws a shivering breath it really gives me the sense of foreboding.

Reviewer: whitewave Signed [Report This]
Date: November 27, 2008 - 09:17 pm
Title: Death of Cold

My favorite part here--how "poetic" in so many ways: <i>  "The ice--the evil--crept upon us.  It was a slow death of cold.  We were long in feeling it settle upon our flesh.  We were longer still in feeling it settle in our hearts." </i>

Reading about the elves' crossing of the Helcaraxe in the Sil radically altered my view from Legolas' running fast on the snow in LOTR wearing light shoes.  

Reviewer: whitewave Signed [Report This]
Date: November 27, 2008 - 09:03 pm
Title: Sudden Flame

Reading this gave me goosebumps--talk about Elvish ESP.  I liked how you blended the innocent scene of Finrod reading to his younger brothers and their implied brutal end. 

Reviewer: whitewave Signed [Report This]
Date: November 27, 2008 - 08:59 pm
Title: The Bridge

This piece makes me wonder what could have happened if they had decided to destroy the bridge.  All the disaster that could have been prevented!  Turin's grim outlook gives a good explanation of his actions and you've given us a tantalizing view of that in only a few words.

Reviewer: Robinka Signed [Report This]
Date: November 27, 2008 - 09:33 am
Title: Death of Cold

Chills down the spine, believe me. I'm glad I'm sitting in a comfy chair in a relatively warm room. It's cold and windy outside, and even though the snow melted, I still cannot help but think that I will find a frozen, white expanse outside my window once I dare a look. What an evocative take on the crossing. Splendid imagery!

Author's Response:

Your weather sounds a lot like ours last week, when I wrote this. Today, it is bitterly cold, but rain earlier in the week got rid of all the snow. Still, I am glad to be inside where it's warm! :)

Thank you for reading and for your kind praise. I was trying to capture the feelings of winter that have been settling on my hometown (it helped that I wrote this at work, and the heat is broken in my office. ;) I'm pleased that it was successful.

Reviewer: Robinka Signed [Report This]
Date: November 27, 2008 - 09:21 am
Title: Love by Moonlight

This is a beautiful ficlet. I love the touch of melancholy that lingers in it. Great job!

Author's Response:

Thanks so much! I love Tilion, and I can't help but think of him as melancholy, given the canon about him and just the feelings evoked from looking at the moon.

Reviewer: Rhapsody Signed [Report This]
Date: November 27, 2008 - 06:56 am
Title: Love by Moonlight

Of course, I could not resist when I saw Tilion mentioned here (will read the other chapters later on, but I just had to read this!).

 I love Tilion's voice and his obervations, he sounds melancholic, wishing as if he could for once hear the answer from his un-attainable lov. To me it reads as if he takes pride nonetheless that he has some influence on the mortals and he feels more connected to them. But then, oh my tell me if I read too much into this, but the parrallel between Fingon and Tilion just jumps from the screen here, as if he knows what it is like to wait for speaking of love and other matters for just one night. Gorgeous Dawn, I really love how you write Tilion.



Author's Response:

Thank you, Rhapsy! Believe it or not, I hadn't thought of the angle of Tilion's unrequited love. >.< But I love this idea, and I can definitely see the parallel. So no ... you aren't reading too much into it, because I think it's a really logical reading, but you've got the plotbunnies nipping again at my ankles! :D

I love writing Tilion. On my writing wish list is a longer piece--perhaps a novella--about the life and loves of Tilion; I find him such a fascinating character.

Reviewer: SurgicalSteel Signed [Report This]
Date: November 26, 2008 - 04:54 pm
Title: Love by Moonlight

The imagery in this is just gorgeous - the mortals celebrating the full moon, and the stark contrast of the elves quietly seeking comfort in one another. Lovely!

Author's Response:

Thank you! I was going for the contrast, the differences in love between mortal beings and those who literally have all the time in the world. (Though, sadly, that time is limited for Maedhros and Fingon, at least in corporeal form ...) I could have probably written 5,000 words on this instead of just 200 ... but since I have two term papers due on Friday, I decided to stick with the double drabble!

Reviewer: Moreth Signed [Report This]
Date: November 25, 2008 - 03:57 pm
Title: Death of Cold

*Shudder* Horrible, cold, miserable place... Well, I assume you weren't going for happy holiday cheer with this one!

I might need to write a response...



Author's Response:

Heehee ... no, certainly not! Hey, it was completely random. I was actually hoping for a random quote that was warm and sunny (as it has been terribly cold here in Manchester, MD lately. :( )

I hope that I am correct in assuming that the two new emails from you mean that the response happened ...? *hurries off* :D

Reviewer: SurgicalSteel Signed [Report This]
Date: November 24, 2008 - 10:28 am
Title: Death of Cold

Oooo, we haven't had significant snowfall here yet, but it is *cold*, and you really evoke that sense of feeling you'll never be warm again quite well!

Author's Response:

I'm beginning to wonder if it's warm anywhere in the world right now ... ;)

Thank you for reviewing! Sharing the misery Creating a sense of cold was exactly what I was going for!

Reviewer: SurgicalSteel Signed [Report This]
Date: November 24, 2008 - 10:27 am
Title: For Love of the Moon

Whether you read this as slash or not, it's beautiful, and you can definitely sense the love between these two.

Author's Response:

Thank you! I would love to write more about them, if ever I had the time. Tilion is a particular favorite of mine! :)

Reviewer: oshun Signed [Report This]
Date: November 22, 2008 - 01:06 pm
Title: Death of Cold

Well, that's a cheery little tale! Actually, it is very beautiful, poetic and I find it psychologically valid in the most fundamental way. I was thinking: first darkness and now this. In my own verse, one of the few times that I present Fingon as rather less than generous is his stubborn lack of complete sympathy for how much his brother, for example, suffered on the ice. I have both Fingon and Finrod, who seem just so irrepressible to me, having less than perfect patience at what the more "normal" others in their company suffered. Almost as though to acknowledge it would be devasting to their attempts to overcome it the force of their own wills.

Author's Response:

Thanks, Oshun. I was going for poetic in particular: the rhythm and repetition of their slow passage onto the Ice that represents their footfalls as they enter the Helcaraxe (and a fallen state) without noticing it, so I thrilled that you mentioned this! :) The structure of the piece was more deliberate than my usual come-what-may approach to writing stories (but flash fiction seems to open itself to this, imho).

Those are interesting notes about your Fingon. I'd noticed, of course, that he sometimes seems unsympathetic to Turgon, who canonically suffered the most of any of the Finwions, imho. I simply chalked it up to a realistic depth of character (for which I love your stories!) where even one as noble as Fingon lacks empathy for one who should be foremost in his care. I'd always assumed that this went back to the bitterness between Turgon and the Feanorians that preceded Feanor's betrayal ... or am I mixing up our verses here? :) Anyway, I think, given that (assuming that I'm not mixing up our verses), that it makes sense that bias would tilt Fingon's perception of Turgon's suffering to minimize it; human nature at its worst, perhaps, but certainly realistic and part of the reason why you can create a character as lovely as Fingon without having him devolve into "Gary Stu." (At first, I typed "Gay Stu"! XD)

Reviewer: mistrali Signed [Report This]
Date: June 04, 2008 - 03:08 am
Title: The Bridge

'My bridge is strong beneath my feet. And I whisper upon the bitter wind, "Let them come."'

These sentences embody the character of Turin: his pride, his faith in strength and arms, and above all, his sheer valour.

I also like the idea of mercy being Orodreth's greatest asset.

Mistrali

Reviewer: mistrali Signed [Report This]
Date: June 04, 2008 - 03:00 am
Title: For Love of the Moon

I loved this, especially the sentence: Were we elemental, I could wrap him and our Musics combine into a song as beautiful as anything that Eru, in his might, foresaw.

I'm afraid I didn't quite understand the phrase: By an iota yet, I weary. Nevertheless, Irmo was very in-character, and after reading your fic, I quite like the idea of an Irmo/Tilion pairing.

The whole drabble was poetic, and almost dreamlike (fitting for the gardens of Este!).

Please (time and inspiration permitting, of course) could you write another Irmo/Tilion fic? You write them so well!

Mistrali

Reviewer: Robinka Signed [Report This]
Date: March 15, 2008 - 03:56 am
Title: For Love of the Moon

Were we elemental, I could wrap him and our Musics combine into a song as beautiful as anything that Eru, in his might, foresaw.

Awesome line!

A beautifully written drabble with an aura of mystery and a touch of sadness to it. I love it :) Thank you tons for sharing.



Author's Response:

Thank you, Binka! I'm glad you liked it! :)

Reviewer: Robinka Signed [Report This]
Date: March 14, 2008 - 03:27 pm
Title: The Bridge

But I will get up and get my Silm after typing this. I'm curious if I'll end up with Nargothrond again ... ;)

I look forward to seeing the next one(s), and hey! why not Nargothrond again? I actually stumbled across an illustration in my paper Silm twice before I hit that Finrod centered bit, so maybe the Powers that be plotted it all? ;)



Author's Response:

I ended up with Valaquenta ...
*headdesk*

Reviewer: Hrymfaxe Signed [Report This]
Date: March 14, 2008 - 03:09 pm
Title: Sudden Flame

Oh Dawn - I have read this piece so many times already and every time my stomach clenches as I reach the end, wishing for it to be different. Finrod's visioin is unfolding before me in both its sweet and its horrible aspects. Beautiful. *stomach clenching again, because I can't keep my eyes from the last line*

In fact, I have an idea that could compliment this piece, if you don't mind? It will most likely be long in the coming, but I wanted to be sure it is all right with you, if it should ever leave my brain and get onto paper.



Author's Response:

Yes, please, I would be honored! :) Do let me know if/when you do too.

And thank you for the lovely comment. I'm so pleased that you liked it. Foresight must have been such a burden for Elves like Finrod and Galadriel. I don't think I'll ever tire of writing about it. :)

Reviewer: Robinka Signed [Report This]
Date: March 13, 2008 - 02:11 am
Title: Sudden Flame

Oh, I like this. Great job with conveying Finrod's dream along with his pain-hazy state of mind. Very atmospheric and touching. Well done! :D

(Coincidentally, my drabble written for this challenge features Finrod too ;). Did our muses conspire behind our back?)

Best wishes,

Binka 



Author's Response:

I think that they did! :^D I need to write another of these, but I'm feeling lazy. But I will get up and get my Silm after typing this. I'm curious if I'll end up with Nargothrond again ... ;)

And thank you for the comment! I'm glad you picked up on the pain-hazy state of mind. This entire episode during Dagor Bragollach could be a whole novel ...

Down, bunnies! ;)

Reviewer: Robinka Signed [Report This]
Date: March 12, 2008 - 10:36 am
Title: The Bridge

Well, I will admit that what I feel about Turin is a pretty gollum'ish sort of feeling -- I hate him to bits and I can't yet resist reading about him. Do I sound crazy? ;)

This is excellent. Turin -- proud and stubborn to the bone, stands against the last voice of reason. I simply want to yell at him -- look, fool, what you have done...! And I love the reference to the Dagor Dagorath -- yes, he will defeat Morgoth, but in the meantime, he is blind and whatever he touches turns to debris.

Splendid characterization, beautifully written. Thanks a lot for sharing.

(I'm with Oshun, btw. The accented letters don't display right).

All the best,

Binka 



Author's Response:

Hi, Binka!

I can't imagine why you hate Turin! ;) I find him compelling; I've always wanted to write more about him and so was rather glad when this ended up being my random passage.

I also have an idea why you read about him: just in case a certain Elf whose name starts with a B is mentioned. ;)

Anyway, thank you for the review ... and for noting the problem with the letters. I think I've fixed it. I posted this from work through a circumventor, so I think that is where the problem arose.

Reviewer: oshun Signed [Report This]
Date: March 12, 2008 - 09:57 am
Title: The Bridge

Very nice piece. (Fools, both of them, each in their own special way!) I love the way you are able to capture so much characterization of the two characters in such a few words and one point of view. Beautifully done. Especially like the "ichor of the Gods" bit and the little detail about his perception of the weight of the sword. You really make me want to take a shot at this challenge. I am terrified at opening the book and letting it fall open. I guess I am a real control freak,

(Maybe it is just me, but my computer is displaying garbage for every accent mark. I haven't seen this before here that I recall.)



Author's Response:

(You should. But that is just me: misery loves company! ;)

Thank you, Oshun, for the review. I'm glad that you liked those bits ... I was a bit partial to "ichor of the Gods" meself. :) Also, thanks for noting the problem with accented letters. I think I've fixed it. I posted these from work, through a circumventor, so I think that might have been why they came out garbled.




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