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Reviewer: oshun Signed [Report This]
Date: April 19, 2017 - 06:06 pm
Title: "Melkor would often walk among them, and amid his fair words others were woven, so subtly that many who heard them believed in recollection that they arose from their own thought."

This is a great read! I even got some terrific laughs from it. I love this one:

He ran a long finger across the gleaming substance around his wrists, then looked back at Fingolfin. “I have found four design flaws and one manufacturing fault, so far — and three ways I could remove these. I thought of testing the theory, but decided they were more use to me as an intellectual exercise than lying broken on the floor. It’s not so hard to wear them if I know I can take them off.”

That's definitely Feanor.

I love the idea of how Feanor and Fingolfin together are a tremendous force indeed. Feanor listening to and arguing with his brother about a common purpose is an enormous relief.

Author's Response:

I wonder if I gave Mandos a bit too much common sense in his response to Fingolfin's arrival, but I really wanted to contrast Mandos 'Ruler of the Dead' because that's the job he was assigned, to Fingolfin being acclaimed by popular agreement as a king...

I'm glad you thought Feanor came through in character.   

Reviewer: oshun Signed [Report This]
Date: April 19, 2017 - 05:44 pm
Title: "Then Melkor set new lies abroad in Eldamar, and whispers came to Fëanor that Fingolfin and his sons were plotting to usurp the leadership of Finwë and of the elder line of Fëanor and supplant them"

This is great stuff. I love the way you describe the threat to Finrod, how his very power puts him in danger. It is reminescent of the theme in the Lord of the Rings that sometimes the powerful and mighty cannot accomplish what the steadfast and humble might. Anyway, food for thought. There are times when The Silmarillion almost feels like another universe with different rules, but its really not at all.

I loved these lines a lot:

He owed his son an honest answer. “If they chose Morgoth over Fingon the Valiant and Maedhros, I doubt they would have fought for me,” he said, eventually, and knew it for the truth. “I thought single combat worth the attempt. But I went to it in despair, and despair is where Morgoth’s great strength lies. Still. We both tried, at least.”

“We did,” Fingon said, and shivered. You could still see the whipmarks lying fresh and dark across his spirit. “Perhaps there never was any way out.”

“I don’t think there was,” Fingolfin said. “We were always doomed. At least we fell swiftly, facing our enemy. ”

Again this is philosophically complicated stuff, but extremely well expressed.

I am really enjoying this.

Reviewer: oshun Signed [Report This]
Date: April 19, 2017 - 05:32 pm
Title: “Your houseless spirits shall come then to Mandos...”

“I promised you little pity, but you do not need it. Be welcome in my halls, Fingolfin, son of Finwë, and all your people, for the years of peace, and the seven wounds you gave to our Enemy.”

Oh, my goodness! I would like for this to be true. I should not be reading this story because I am right in the middle of a Halls of Mandos story myself and I am afraid I will be influenced. Oh, well. No one writers in a vacuum.

I love this first chapter.

Author's Response:

Are we overlapping again? Some weird osanwe effect!  I look forward to your Mandos story.   I bet it will be very different! 

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