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Reviewer: just_jenni Signed [Report This]
Date: June 29, 2017 - 04:11 pm
Title: Chapter 1

You're welcome!  I could have written a better review!  I forgot to quote some lines that I particularly enjoyed:

“What did you tell him?” It was not a request but a demand. That’s my girl, Mahtan thought.

Fëanáro relaxed and laughed. “I told him that I was occupied at the moment. I didn’t tell him—didn’t think that he needed to know—that it has taken me the better part of week to convince you to find a small amount of time to spend with me, Lady Nerdanel.”

“Don't use that smarmy tone with me. I am no lady of your courtly circles of Tirion!”

“Not my circles! And you certainly are not one of those ladies. You are more like a queen!” Mahtan could easily imagine the boy’s color rising, as it often did when his voice took on that tone. Spirit of fire indeed. “You’re stubborn as a mule.” He wasn’t wrong about that. “If I have done something that has upset you, your gracious highness, I would appreciate it if you would tell me what it is.”  

These lines in particular tell us a lot about the characters of these three people.  Mahtan's pride in his daughter as well as his protectiveness, Feanaro's admiration and appreciation of Nerdanel despite her stubborn nature and Nerdanel's forthright bluster shows us how strong she is.

 

It's just so good!  I'm happy that I could help make you feel a little less wilted, etc.

 

I also admire your ability to write something as wonderful as this despite the heat and other stressors that you have had to deal with, because I just can't concentrate when things like that are happening in my life.



Author's Response:

Thanks, again, Jenni! I love the comments. I had so much fun to trying to imagine what it might have been like early on for all of them. Those were the good days (in my imagination at least).

Reviewer: just_jenni Signed [Report This]
Date: June 29, 2017 - 02:35 pm
Title: Chapter 1

There is absolutely NOTHING to criticize about this story!  I love this world that you created!  Like the golden glow you described when the lights mingle, the whole first descriptive section is infused with the same golden glow.  There is exceptional detail of a wonderfully described life that makes me want to read about it forever.  (Like in a series of novels about this family and their friends and acquaintances.

Your characterization of Feanaro has made him as swoon-worthy as one could get.  I love Nerdanel's gushiness when introducing him to her parents.

And the OC Valdanese fits so smoothly into the story that I wouldn't be surprised if you told me he wasn't an OC but actually in the Silmarillion and I must have overlooked him.

I love Mahtan's sense of social justice and Feanaro's cheekiness in describing Indis.  I almost snorted tea out my nose when I read it.

I enjoyed immensely the coppery-bright thread of feminism running through the story too, thanks to Nerdanel, her mother, Miriel and Feanaro's belief that women should be considered equal to men at least as artists. It just adds to the story's immense richness.

The developing relationship between Feanaro and Nerdanel is delightful reading, and what a lovely surprise to discover that Valanese is also an admirer of Feanaro and not necessarily Nerdanel (which is where I thought that particular thread was going).

You've written such an amazingly attractive beginning to a story that I dearly hope you will be able to continue.  I am a huge fan already and will be eating it up as soon as you post more!  Loved it!  Absolutely LOVED it. 



Author's Response:

What a super review! I was feeling grumpy and absolutely wilted (hot here today!) when I got a notification of your comment. I read it and it turned me completely around. I am so happy that you liked it so much. I definitely want to revisit this world and flesh it out more and continue with their stories.

Thank you. Thank you. Thank you.

Reviewer: StarSpray Signed [Report This]
Date: June 28, 2017 - 05:27 pm
Title: Chapter 1

This is so charming! I really love Istarnie, and the picture you've painted of life at Mahtan's house. And Nerdanel and Feanor's back-and-forth is great fun to read.



Author's Response:

Thanks so much for the comment. I am so glad it was fun to read. I had a lot of fun writing it!

Reviewer: Lyra Signed [Report This]
Date: June 28, 2017 - 02:59 am
Title: Chapter 1

I love this so much! Of course, I adore Nerdanel and Feanor, but in fact, that makes me quite picky! However, your depiction here is delightful. I think you've nailed their characters. I also loved Istarnie's and Mahtan's relationship - they are so often reduced to minor characters (I know I am guilty of that too), so it was satisfying to have them spotlighted a bit more. Loved all the details - the worn towel, the Vanyarin aversion to eating "Manwe's feathered friends", the rival who instead becomes an admirer, the idea that more young women may want to learn sculpting once Nerdanel's had her art show... there's so much in here! I certainly hope you'll get around to writing more about these folks. Just wonderful!

Author's Response:

Wow! You made my day! What a lovely comment. You're definitely one of the readers I am writing for--the picky ones who love this world! Thank you so much. You mentioned most the small detaails that I hoped people would notice and like. I do want to return to this setting and look at it from the POV of Feanor and introduce those other characters who are already started to stir and walk around and talk in my head.

Reviewer: Robinka Signed [Report This]
Date: June 27, 2017 - 11:15 am
Title: Chapter 1

It's charming :) Through and through. And a joy to read. I second IgB when he says that your love for the characters shines in every line of this story. And if you continue in this universe, I'll be here to read :)

Author's Response:

Thanks, Binka! I am so happy that you liked it! I definitely want to continue with further development in this universe! (I wanted to keep writing, but I also wanted to complete as a one-shot for the challenge. So I will consider this a "first-shot.")

Reviewer: Himring Signed [Report This]
Date: June 26, 2017 - 11:52 pm
Title: Chapter 1

I really like your description of Mahtan and Istarnie's household and I enjoyed seeing things from their point of view, especially Istarnie's--her expectations and fears and ruminations.

You have some interesting and fresh angles on Feanor and Nerdanel's courtship, like the young smith that might have been his rival but becomes his admirer. It tickled me that genius Feanor starts by getting lost and also his delight over sausages for breakfast.

If you want to write more about those other people in the household that we haven't met yet, I'd definitely be interested.



Author's Response:

Aww! What a lovely comment. I am so happy that you enjoyed it. I'd like to do exactly what you suggest above! Thanks so much for reading.

Reviewer: IgnobleBard Signed [Report This]
Date: June 24, 2017 - 11:27 am
Title: Chapter 1

No one does a slice of life story or vignette better than you. Your love of these characters shines in every line. It's so sweet to see the young Feanor and Nerdanel here just discovering each other and learning their way. Their interactions are charming and the non arrogant Feanor is refreshing. I hope you do decide to continue with this universe, it will be fun to write and a joy to read.

Author's Response:

You are too good to me! I appreciate all of work amidst heat-wave and scary storms! I am sorry I have been so hard to keep on track. This no AC while using my computer is NOT working for me! I somehow deleted a "thank you" to you in the summary. Re-writing it! Wonder what other last-minute edits I did not save! (I had added whole sentences--at least an hour of work!)




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