Comments

The Silmarillion Writers' Guild is more than just an archive--we are a community! If you enjoy a fanwork or enjoy a creator's work, please consider letting them know in a comment.


I'm glad that you posted three chapters at once because this is such good stuff!  I think your lead character was very likeable--flaws and all.   It's good that he has a steadfast friend in his wife.  The interaction of the workers/outcasts in the Halls of the Dead made for nice reading and I felt like I had jumped inside a story book.  All the scenes made me think of the Ancient Egyptians a lot.  Lovely stuff, more please?  ;-)

Wow, I only now noticed that I didn't reply to your kind review. So sorry! I'm glad you like the story, though. Yes, Azruhâr is certainly lucky with his wife ;) Fourth chapter is currently in beta and should be up soon; fifth chapter is being written. So "more" is on its way ;)

 

What a wonderful portrait of Numenorean society you are giving us: the wealth of details you've worked (the currency is great - totally confused me, of course), the descriptions of the city and the people, the real Numenoreans,  that are so, well, human, the guilds and the organization of work. The main characters are very appealing: I keep dreading that something bad will happen to them (this is the Silm after all where happy endings don't exist). I'm looking forward to the next chapters.

Wow, thank you so much! I'm flattered that you like "my" version of Númenor (although to be honest most of the details are stolen from all across human history ;)).

Unfortunately I have no idea just how the story will end -  otherwise I could tell you whether your fears are justified or not! (But then, as you say, this is the Silm...)

 

What a fascinating, beautiful story! The world you have created is so rich in detail and so real, and the drama felt real to me too. From the moment poor Azruhar leaves the house theough his time in jail and how unworthy he felt, through his first experiences in the houses of the dead--I could feel it all along with him. I love the idea that, while they help him recover some sort of self-dignity, he helps them too, by his friendship. I loved this story!

Also, please let me use this chance to comment on the beautiful illustration 'Elenna.' Beautiful watercolor! You did a great job, thanks for sharing :-)

Fabulous story, Lyra!  Excellent realization of each and every character and his or her niche in a wonderfully crafted vision of Númenórean society.  The descriptions of the embalming technology are fascinating! (That's the chemist in me talking ;^)).  There's a satisfying "Egyptian"/ancient Mediterranean "feel" to the culture you have created, a clever nod to JRRT's remarks in Letter 211. 

Looking forward to the next installment(s)!

Thank you so much!

To be honest I always imagined Númenor as a kind of (romantic version of) Ancient Greek/ Mediterranean society, even before I read the Letters. That's also why I'm inspired far more by the culture of the Northern mediterranean than by actual Egypt. And the Egyptian embalming technology actually felt entirely unfitting to me - if the actual goal is not preparation for some kind of afterlife but the preservation of the body until one knows how to revive it, removing all the vital organs would be a rather stupid move...! So I based the starting point of the Númenorean embalming technology on the Palermo mummies. Wild mix of cultures, as you can see ;)

I'll try to finish the rest of the story asap.

 

 

Where did all your earlier reviews go?  I know I left reiviews for your earlier chapters!

Am still loving this story.  For a chapter filled with normally-happy events, there's a most impressive feeling of oppressive doom building.  That's a neat trick to pull off!  We know Azruhar's 'lucky' twist of fate isn ultimately not going to prove lucky at all, but right now I'm really enjoying watching him struggle to pull off the impossible trick of preservation  Tar-Ancalimon has demaded of him while knowing all the while the King's friendship is likely to sour if he doesn't succeed soon...

Yeah, that was me being stupid... I wanted to upload the most recent chapter, but somehow my entire formatting was eaten up, and instead of editing it by hand as I'd originally planned I managed to delete the entire story. Dawn was able to rescue the story, but all the lovely reviews didn't survive. ;_;

There's going to be more doom in the upcoming chapters (once I get around to, like, write them *coughs*), though ultimately Azruhâr is certainly luckier than the Raisers - his job is only almost impossible, not altogether impossible ;)

I'm glad you still like the story - thanks for reviewing again!

This is an interesting version of what I think of as the Rise of the Downtrodden plot. I like the way you draw Azruhar, the way he is shown as both very blinkered in some ways in his approach to his work and the general political situation and yet retains our sympathies because he is so humble with it. In this chapter, he's being downright heroic in a very tight spot (very neat, how you've made the situation come full circle!). I do hope he comes out of this all right!

I had no idea what I was getting myself into when I signed up for AinA last year, to be honest, and Azruhâr more or less came upon me out of the blue. He\'s been confusing me ever since - I really don\'t know why I like him, being so naive and stumbling from desaster tp desaster, and then he goes and plays the hero! I can\'t help liking him anyway, and I\'m really glad it works for others too. :) \r\nThank you so much for your review!\r\n

It's all SoWD bleedover - I was trying to figure out how to continue TTS, along the lines of "I wonder whether I should just finally make it Spring?" And suddenly there was Azruhâr, all "YOU KNOW WHO ELSE HAS BEEN WAITING FOR SPRING - FOR THREE YEARS NOW?"... and promptly a new chapter presented itself in my head. And I managed to type it down, too! Woo hoo!

Glad someone remembers these guys! I was afraid that after three years, nobody would care anymore. *hugs*

It's hard not to like him! I tried to make him less nice, but I don't think I managed. Oh well. Azruhâr isn't unbiased, and anyone who comes to his rescue is great as far as he's concerned, so I'll blame it on him. ;)
Glad you like the details about the road. I wasn't sure whether that might be boring (I can ramble about construction sites endlessly, and I'm not even a builder O.ó) but figured that too little information might also be unsatisfying, so I hope I managed to find a decent balance.

(Yes, among other things. I'm not quite sure whether things really /are/ that much better there, but it's tempting to write it that way (I have to admit that I'm heavily biased towards Andúnie. Not that anyone would have noticed, of course. ;))

By the way, thank you for your faithful reviewing! It always gives me such a kick to see that ooooh, somebody commented. You keep the bunnies hopping, so to say! :)

Definitely not academic, no, nor in-depth - Azruhâr feels out of his depth after just scratching the surface. ;)

(But hey, if you are unconvinced, that's OK. I'm not entirely happy with the balance of things, either, I just don't know how and where to start fixing stuff. As it is, I'll blame everything on my biased and uneducated narrator!)

Yes, that would indeed be most unfortunate. (But I have no mind for intrigue, anyway.)

However, considering that the House of Andúnie safely made it to the very end of Númenor with no loss of fortune, rank or reputation, they cannot at any point in history have plotted very hard (or acted on their plotting, at any rate). ;)

Yes! It's going to be so much fun to explore Andúnie. At the same time, I'm terrified of the prospect! Eh well, it will get written eventually. I'm afraid it'll be helplessly biased towards the Faithful, too. I love Elendil and Isildur and Aragorn a lot, so that's bound to carry over onto their direct ancestors. (You'll have noticed. ;))