The Cheese Stands Alone by Grundy

Chapter 1

Arwen frowned and looked at her older brothers with more than a little suspicion.

“This is silly,” she protested. “You’re making this part up to see if I’ll fall for it!”

The twins had to work not to laugh. At not quite forty, Arwen wasn’t even full grown yet, never mind adult in her mindset. If their little sister thinks they’re laughing at her, the lesson will end in disaster.

But it is funny.

They have taken charge of her history lessons for the past few years. Teaching her was great fun, especially when so many of the people she was learning about were relatives of some sort. Arwen was usually pleased to learn about her grandparents, great-grandparents, great-uncles, and so forth – even if she was generally unhappy about their fates. The First Age had not ended well for most of their kin.

Her lesson today was on Beren and Luthien.

They’d expected some enthusiasm, given that everyone who might reasonably know claimed that Arwen looked more like her great-great-grandmother every day.

Their grandfather, who definitely would know, said Arwen had a few small differences in her face, but would certainly fool anyone who didn’t know Luthien well into thinking she’d come again. Their grandmother generally got a slightly concerned look whenever the resemblance was discussed in her presence. Possibly she worried about Arwen getting ideas about mortality, but given that it was Arwen who had insisted on sending regular letters West since she was old enough to write, that seemed far-fetched to her older brothers.

Arwen had been excited to learn more about Luthien, and was quite happy to emulate her by dancing about the room whenever her dancing or singing was mentioned. She listened raptly when they talked about her parents Melian and Thingol, or her friend Daeron.

But then they’d gotten to Beren, to the meeting that had changed Luthien’s fate and the history of the elves…

And Arwen balked.

“Beren was a mortal, and he’d just been through Nan Dungortheb, which is supposed to be so terrible that even elves wouldn’t go there by then. You said he was ‘grey and bowed as with many years of woe’. And you haven’t said he stopped to take a bath! There is no way Luthien, the most beautiful of all the Children, saw some shaggy, stinky, dirty Man who looked like he was about to die in a year or two and fell in love!”

Arwen, unfortunately, did have some idea what happened to mortals travelling in rough terrain for any length of time – she’s seen what the royal messengers occasionally look (and smell) like by the time they stumble into Imladris when they have to travel in bad weather and lose the road. And they were only coming from Annúminas, not traversing anything as challenging or dangerous as the Valley of Dreadful Death…

Any and all arguments her older brothers made about Beren’s courage, handsomeness, or general worth fell on ears as stubborn as Thingol’s.

“There’s poetic license and there’s being ridiculous. If you’re not going to teach me anything sensible, I’m going outside to play.”

Despite the frustration, this was definitely the best lesson Elrohir and Elladan had ever given. There will be considerable amusement to be had in reminding Arwen about this when she’s older. Mother is going to laugh, and their grandfather will absolutely howl when he hears. (Their father may be less amused, because if she won’t believe them, he’s going to be stuck trying to convince her.)