Comments on Downfallen

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This is such a chilling read, especially since it is narrated from such a calculated mind who takes yet another step into darkness. I think you picture the minds and vast belief of teh Numenoreans themselves, the folly - according to Sauron - in believing a deity and how he so cunningly uses such faith for his own means.  This makes religion so dangerous when it falls into the wrong hands and at the same time you bring out the weakness of such a belief system. What an awesome build up, from the calmth in the morning to a scene that ends at its peak, just wow!

Thanks for the compliments, Rhapsy.  If you found this chilling, then I have done my job.  And yes, there might just be some thinly veiled commentary on belief systems* and the false gods contained therein.  JRRT's writings in the Akallabêth certainly address this.  I'm also riffing on JRRT's comments interspersed through The Silmarillion, The HoMe and Letters about Sauron's repentance and slow descent back into darkness.  The sacrifices on Númenor seem to me to be a point of no return, and although (my interpretation of) Sauron retains his conscience, his overarching ambition and desire for revenge squelch those warnings time and time again.

*Still need to read James Carse's latest which is languishing on my bookshelf. 

 

That is a marvelously imaginative and beautifully-written story. The atmosphere is perfect and the entire piece is so stunningly visual. I adore strong visual images in a story and this one is packed with them. As I said before, in a comment on a draft of this, the preparations for the sacrifice with the kohl-lined eyes and the description of his outfit reminded me of ancient Egypt, while the sacrifice elements sounded very Aztec to me.

There were so many concepts that I appreciated that I cannot begin to list them all. I was particularly struck by the fact that he is still experiencing guilt and pangs of conscience, that even for Sauron there could have been a point of no turning back, which implies that prior to that it still might have been possible. I wickedly enjoyed his snarky in his observations about his dupes (they really did deserve his disdain).

This is another fascinating and riveting story, filled with incredible, carefully considered small details. The vision it presents of what it might have been like is compelling for me.

Thanks so much, oshun!   I'm glad this appealed to you, dark matter and all. Sometimes I worry that I get too focused on the visual.  In one of JRRT's letters (really, you should read them), he writes about apparel in M-e.  He describes the Númenóreans as archaic and sort of "Egyptian" so that image was in my head.  Plus I love conflating other ancient mythologies with Tolkien's mythopoeia.  I really should have found a way to add "Xipe Totec" to the sacrificial images and words that pour into his head just before Zigûr takes that final step.

On the point of no return, this passage from the Akallabêth stood out for me in my later day readings of The Silmarillion:

"But Sauron was not of mortal flesh, and though he was robbed now of that shape in which he had wrought so great an evil, so that he could never appear fair to the eyes of Men..." 

That to me suggests a threshold had been crossed, so I coupled it with JRRT's writings about Sauron's slow descent back into darkness during the Second Age.  Plus, a conflicted villain (to me) with a conscience is far more interesting than a unidimensional one.   

On his snarkiness, my interpretation of Sauron comes by his condescension and sarcasm honestly. ;^)

Thanks again! 

Reading this made my skin crawl.  As usual, you were able to keep my attention all throughout. It's chilling how Aulendil feels/thinks about his servants, comparing them to "bipedal roaches" or preferring to do a dog than to bother himself with the humans who desired him, I suppose that's how he felt when he was around the elves or the orcs or whoever was serving him.  But still, the little tugs at his conscience, whether from his memories or from something or someone, makes one feel that there might be some hope left still.   I also felt frustrated about the seeming "absence" or "lack of presence" of the Valar while all this was happening. 

I have so many favorite parts, but what I liked the most was the part when he looked at his hands just before doing the act. 



Thanks so much, whitewave!  Just like my response to Rhapsy, if this made your skin crawl and was chilling, then I have done my job.

Yes, Zigûr is nothing if not very arrogant and condescending, and I am sure he finds his role as subservient to Ar-Phârazon to be galling and thus will look at everyone around him with a jaundiced eye.  However, I don't think he always held elves and men in such contempt.  In fact, based on JRRT's writings in "Myths Transformed," that Sauron had "love (originally) for other intelligences," indicates to me that this positive aspect of his personality was in play when he decided to "reform" after the War of Wrath and that he did indeed have a conscience -- hard to imagine that a being with such complex intelligence would not.  However, he eventually fell back into his old ways since the grip of Morgoth was strong (or something to that effect -- paraphrasing JRRT here).  Anyway, the bitterness he displays here is part of that descent back into darkness (gleaned from JRRT's notes) which I mentioned in the responses to oshun & Rhapsy.  The sacrifice is the point of no return. 

As for any sliver of hope?  Well, we'll see how the Pan!verse plays out.  His better side is nothing if not a dogged survivor in my 'verse, even if suppressed and silenced in the face of raging ambition.

Don't get me started on the Valar and Númenor.  I don't have very charitable opinions of the Guardians of Arda on that subject.

Oooh, and I'm glad you liked his contemplation of his hands.  Hands are among the hallmarks of what make us human.  So he's examining his own humanity there -- the bad and the good -- and his common link with the young man.  JRRT refers to the corporeal forms of the Maiar as "raiment" like a sweater or coat, etc.  I tend to ground this considerably more in the Pan!verse: put on a body, and one's mind and behavior are strongly influenced by it.  A body is not just "raiment."  Just a point of disagreement I have with the old Oxford don who sometimes wanted to have his biological cake and eat it, too. :^) 

Thanks again! 

What a gorgeous and terrifying snapshot of Numenor under Sauron's sway!  The details of Sauron's clothing, the temple architecture, and the sacrifice itself are wonderfully and rather cinematically written; I feel, while reading, like I'm in an H. Rider Haggard novel or Cecil B. DeMille movie, lushly painted and oh so sinister.

I especially enjoyed the attempts of Sauron's conscience to be heard and then to stop the atrocity to come - the fact that he has a conscience makes his action all the more evil.

And it's a nice touch that there's an air of decadence and decay and corruption all over the city.  Numenor, created to be a haven of wisdom, is debased; it allows slavery; its King has allowed and seemingly encouraged the worship of a god that his ancestors died to defeat.  And everyone except poor Miriel is flattering Lord Zigur; the priests see nothing wrong with human sacrifice. 

An outstanding story of Sauron and of Numenor in its last days. 



Thanks so much, Raksha!  On Sauron's conscience and remnants of the good in which he originated, yes, this makes his actions that much worse, and that is exactly what I am attempting to convey here and throughout my story arcs.  Tolkien wrote (Letter 183, Letters of JRR Tolkien): 

"In my story, I do not deal in Absolute Evil. I do not think there is such a thing, since that is Zero. I do not think that at any rate any 'rational being' is wholly evil. Satan fell. In my myth Morgoth fell before Creation of the physical world. In my story Sauron represents as near an approach to the wholly evil will as is possible."

Based on the various versions of the Akallabêth (that in The Silmarillion and in the History of Middle-earth), Númenor was well along the path to corruption by the time Ar-Pharazôn took Sauron as a "hostage."  They were ripe for Sauron's manipulations so that's what I hoped to get across.  There are those in Númenor willing to oppress others and commit all sorts of atrocities in the name of belief, just as there are today.

I'm wildly flattered to be mentioned in the same breath as H. Rider Haggard and Cecil B. DeMille and tickled that you and oshun had the same response to the visuals of the story.  I'd like to have Maurice Jarre ("Lawrence of Arabia," "Dr. Zhivago") write the score. ;^) 

 

I'm wildly flattered by being mentioned in the same breath as H. Rider Haggard* and Cecil B. DeMille

I loved it. It's so evocative - all the details, the atmosphere - like you're there. I really liked how you mentioned Kali, Moloch & co in the end. I've always been interested in old religions, and it really added to the understanding of the why&how-s the Numenoreans would sacrficice humans. It was lovely how 'real' you made Numenor by giving it an ancient Egyptian vibe, and mingled with other old cultures. And Sauron has a conscience! Or something that was a conscience once. That was one of the best things about it, I think. Stories easily lose credibility when there is absolute evil involved, at least to me. I also love how you made him observe that neither Melkor or Varda was worship-worthy really..or Eru. Hmm..I'm probaby not making sense other than saying it's great. :P



Thanks a million for reading and for the compliments, Aerlinn!  I can't resist interweaving other mythologies into my vision of Tolkien's world which I think is fair enough, given that his mythopoeia drew upon established myths.  I would have liked to have included one of the Aztec gods in that list, but the choices just didn't fit the word flow. :^)  In one of JRRT's letters, he alluded to the Númenóreans having a culture akin to that of Egypt so I ran with that. 

"Downfallen" does in fact comment on the darker side of religion.  Sauron here might be viewed as a dark version of Elmer Gantry.  My take on Sauron throughout my work is that he does retain his conscience.  Tolkien wrote in Letter 183 (Letters of JRRT, ed. H. Carpenter): 

"In my story I do not deal in Absolute Evil. I do not think there is such a thing, since that is Zero. I do not think that at any rate any 'rational being' is wholly evil. Satan fell. In my myth Morgoth fell before Creation of the physical world. In my story Sauron represents as near an approach to the wholly evil will as is possible."

Throughout my fics, I strive to write Sauron as a multifacted villain with a conscience.  That's not altogether comfortable for many readers and sometimes not comfortable as a writer, but I don't find unidimensional bad guys particularly satisfying.

Again, thanks so much...and welcome to the SWG. :^) 

I love your work!

The phrase that gripped me the most was "hands that had clasped Eonwë’s before we parted forever". I saw it as symbolic of letting go of that which was good, and never able to go back.

I love the architectural and clothing details. Please keep doing them. (I particularly liked the braids and gold beads.) It was like something from Babylonian culture, which was more vivid than the medieval styles more typical of fantasy writing and movies.



My deepest apologies for the belated response, Uvatha, but my appreciation of your comments are no less sincere!  Thank you very much!  Indeed, making choices that lead to a path of infamy is the major theme of this short story.  My version of Sauron retains at least some vestige of conscience all the way to the destruction of the Ring (a nod to Tolkien's remark that Sauron was not wholly evil), so his parting from Eönwë (although they do meet much later in my 'verse) and especially, the human sacrifice are the irrevocable steps he takes.

Thanks muchly for the compliments on the architectural and clothing details!  I was aiming for a vibe reminiscent of the ancient cultures of the Mediterranean and even Mesopotamia.  Heck, my vision of Ost-in-Edhil is heavily influenced by Graeco-Roman culture.  I figured something different that Medieval might be fun.

Thanks again, and my Dark Muse is quite honored that you enjoy his tales. :^)

Whoa. You wrote Sauron so well here it gave me shivers. This entire story was really intense and well written! There were a lot of powerful lines, but I loved the paragraph about sixth form the bottom - the one about hands.

Great story :)



Hey, thanks, Astris!  I'm guessing this comment is the result of Dawn's posting on Tumblr? :^)  Regardless of the source for inspiration, I very much appreciate that a) you read this; and b) that you liked it, especially the bit about the hands, which is intended to emphasize Sauron's manifestation as a human.  In my 'verse, the Maiar can't just toss human form on and off like a sweater.  Taking on such a form affects them profoundly.  

At any rate, thanks again.  First person Sauron is one of my guilty pleasures (and I have another from this POV in the works).   In a fit of SSPing, my Dark Muse also recommends Into This Wild Abyss.