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This was simply heartbreaking. Mairon's feelings of love and despair are so vivid and Melkor knows it is all lost, so he wants to make sure Mairon gets away.

(And concerning your comment on discord: Definitely a 'Yes! More cake'-situation. <3)

Oh, well done!

“You are precious to me,” Melkor said after a while.

This reminds me of the tumblr post someone did about how Sauron put so much of himself into his ring and that's why everyone who has it for any length of time starts calling it "Precious" and this just plays so perfectly into that that I almost yelped!  Really beautiful!