Comments on In-Betweens

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Thank you so much for the wonderful review! :) I'm glad my approach (telling the stories through Nerdanel's pov) works... to me as the writer, Feanor is a difficult character to understand and write, so I usually have to resort to what the other characters may be feeling and thinking about him. I'm really really glad it works.

I like this so much. Like and believe your Nerdanel and especially like the characterization of Feanor, although he barely appears in the story. Laughed aloud at the work he did for Manwe--not a bright as the jewel for Nerdanel. I always write Feanor as, despite whatever other problems he has, incapable of dissembling. Also love the reference in the second chapter of his gifts being two-edged. I like to think that to be loved as only Feanor could love with probably be worth the pain. Sometime would like to explore that theme in a story: if she had to do over again, could she have made another choice?

Thank you very much for the review! :) I'm so so glad you like this - like I mentioned in another reply, I find Feanor difficult to write and to understand, so I usually resort to indirect characterization when he is concerned. I'm glad it worked! 

I always write Feanor as, despite whatever other problems he has, incapable of dissembling. That doesn't sound like such an unreasonable approach, it even has canon backing if you look closely... like the sword incident. He could probably twist his words to fit a meaning for those who know what to hear, but in crucial moments, I doubt he could control himself enough to even think about playing pretend. Not to mention that he is certainly confident enough to say what he means, so he wouldn't want to.

I like to think that to be loved as only Feanor could love with probably be worth the pain. My Nerdanel very much agrees. And she does say that she would do it all over again. Love and wisdom don't go well together, but even if they did...  in  fact, I'm working on something of that sort (but not quite) in A Greater Fire... but I'd love to see different takes! 

Again, thanks! :)

First, I will lob forth a major criticism:  please do not be overly self-conscious concerning original characters!  Although as a relative newcomer (soon I won't be able to say that) to JRRT fan fic, I have come to understand that there's a school of ortodoxy that looks askance at OC's, thus the need for the "warning."  I have read a number of depictions of OC's in both Silm and LotR ficthat add richness to the tales, and Istarnië's (love her elleth-verse father-name) siblings are certainly among them.

As much as I like Fëanor (my long-suffering scientist-hero), Nerdanel is an incredibly compeling character, and I'm really taken as to how you depict her as a young woman.  And her girlish reaction to her worldly, lovewise brother (heh) - I can buy into it!

Please keep the chapters coming including your OCs!

This read like a breeze... as I so can see Nerdanel running away after he gave her the gift, cheeks flushed, heart racing like a young woman experiencing the first thoughts on love. Before I knew it, I clicked on the next chapter, wanting to know what would happen next. Dayum Elleth, that image of Fëanor:

They swept over her again now, as he stood pressed against the door, a fist half-clenched against the sooty leather apron for protection in the forge.

I need something cool to drink :) I don’t think she reacts childish, but youthful, standing on the brink of adulthood like a rosebud that onlookers like Feanor know will blossom beautifully, but she cannot or will not see it. As for using OC’s, I always find them a delightful addition to a painting where the canon characters form the base, it are the lovely touches of the OC’s (perhaps that colouring outside the lines) that makes this picture you paint here believable. Oloste tells what we see or can imagine what goes through her mind, the heeding … well that is what big brothers do. I want to read this again (I will admit for the 3rd time then). Thank you for sharing this with us!

My favorite line:  "...and watcher her even as she had watched him.  More, perhaps.  Touched her mind in those unguarded, open moments."

In elleth!verse, could Feanor have known that the girl he met near the lake was Mahtan's daughter?  And could that be the reason why he went to Mahtan's workshop to be an apprentice?

The review does read sufficiently eloquent to me. hon. :) I'm so glad this ficlet worked for you - and as for the palpable emotions, I'll have to admit that before writing this I took a look through your stories - 'The Last Words' is one of my favourite Nerdanel pieces of yours, and you're one of the few writers who really shines when it comes to emotions, so... thank you. Not just for the review.

And just so you know, I love the 'dance of courting' simile you used. There, how's that for a lack of eloquence?