Comments on What was, what is, and what might be

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chrissystriped has requested the following types of constructive criticism on this fanwork: Spelling, Grammar, and Mechanics, Style. All constructive criticism must follow our diplomacy guidelines.

I loved this! It had some very beautiful descriptions, and also, it was very hot!

I like that we could see the events from both of their pov:s in turn.

Your portrayal of Osse was spot on! How he can be dangerous, but never malicious. But he doesn’t always know the boundaries of the Children. And how he wants to be free, and be wild, but he always sends a warning before, and he teaches the Elves to “read” him. His story shows that there has been a lot of character growth in him during the years.

And Nowe who likes Osse’s not quite Elvish body parts… Quite probably, theirs is a one-of-a-kind relationship, and they both seem to know it. One detail that was kind of cute was that Osse had told Uinen about his desire for an Elf, and how Uinen reacts to that.

There were difficult discussion topics for both of them, but they managed to get over them.

Thank you so much!

Osse has learned a lot about himself in the time after his return to Ulmo's service and he also realised quickly that he cares for the Quendi. He likes them, he doesn't want to hurt them with his wildness.

Uinen knows Osse loves her, she doesn't feel treatened by his interest in Nowe, but she thinks it a little silly of him.

What a charming, and thoughtful, story. I really like your characterisation of Osse as a multi-faceted and very playful personality who enjoys playing rough and also cares that no harm comes to the Elves he's come to love. Some more than others, and in more ways than one! Phew!   *fans herself*  (Hmm, come to think of it, he and Uinen must have had some interesting unions if they emulated many of the sea creatures!)

And I like the way that Nowe too, comparatively young here, is enjoying exploring new, strange and different things with his friend. And the fact that they can be completely honest in their friendship.

"He wished he were as eloquent as Melkor."  That's an interesting thought there that says quite a bit, about how charlatans with ulterior motives are often so charismatic... and admired for that.

Thank you so much!

'Playful' fits Osse very well. He wants to have fun. He's not cruel for cruelty's sake, but he does not like to restrain himself just because some Valar think he should. But he's growing in his relationships with the elves. He realises he needs to restrain himself, if he wants to spend time with them, because they are more fragile than the Ainur, but he loves them and he can make concessions for them without feeling chained.

Osse thinks, it would be easier, if he were good at talking. He's been the target of Melkor's charisma himself, he is a little ashamed of how easily he was convinced, but he thinks now that would be a nice skill to have. He wouldn't use it for bad things, after all... it's the allure of the easy way out.