What Is Right And What Is Easy by LadySternchen  

Olwë

The sea rushed back and forth, back, and forth. Olwë lost himself in that rhythm, as he had done frequently ever since they had reached the coast. Back, and forth. Yet today, that sound brought him no comfort.

Back…

Was he supposed to do that? Turn back now, after they had come so far? Refuse Ossë and his island and stay?

… and forth…

It was almost time now, the Maia had said, and Olwë knew it well enough within his own heart. They had long lingered here, and now was the time to go on.

Though could he go on?

‘How can you do this?’ Elmo had asked him last night, despair and barely concealed fury in his voice.

‘I can do this because our people are my responsibility now, and I have to lead them on. That is what Elwë wanted, what he laboured for for all these long years!’ he had answered, trying to convince himself as much as his little brother.

There would be no reaching Aman after that. If he left now, he left Elwë behind, his dreams and hopes, and everyone who refused to leave without him.

No. No no no!

He needed to be firm on this, could not allow the voices in his head to re-awaken. There was no older brother anymore to leave behind.

Elwë is gone, he is dead, there is no other explanation!

Elmo and Nowë were being stupid, and Beleg and Mablung and everyone else who wanted him to delay their journey further. He knew, he was utterly certain, that Elwë had not just walked away from his people, had not left them by his own free will. And that left only two possibilities- either he was dead, killed in some freak accident or by some fell thing, or… no, but that, too, was something he could not allow himself to think. And yet he could do nothing against his imagination showing him what would likely be Elwë’s fate were he indeed unlucky enough to live still. Captivity. Torture. Torture beyond what an elf could endure, until nothing was left of him but a maimed body and mind, bound to the will of the Shadow. Olwë had never believed it was truly gone. The one called Melkor might be, but not Evil itself. He wanted nothing more than to be gone from these shores, to be where the Powers dwelled, where it was safe.

‘Is that truly how you repay him for everything he has done for us? You just give up on him?’

Olwë had caught Elmo by the wrists then, forcing him to calm down and listen.

‘I am NOT abandoning him. But we searched, Elmo. Everywhere. Many, many times. Elwë is gone. And I know this is what he would have wanted me to do- complete his work, lead his people on. Get us, you and me, to safety!’

‘Aye, I agree. That would be exactly what he would say, being noble, acting the hero. Because he has learned to always put us first because he loved to think of our safety as his responsibility, and oh, did he enjoy himself in that role. But we have a responsibility for him, too. We are brothers. And what are brothers for if not to look after one another?’

Elmo’s words stung still. A lot. But what really hurt was what Elmo had said next.

“I am not leaving here without him. He promised me not to leave me again and I do not think he did. And I am most certainly not leaving him!”

So there he was now. If he chose to leave Middle-Earth, he was losing both his brothers, and Nowë, too, if his cousin did not return to the them soon. He was losing all his family. There would be nobody there to pat him on the back, to say they were proud of him when they would finally reach Aman. He thought of his wife and their future children. Her parents had stayed at Cuiviénen, her sisters left them on the journey. Their children would just miss so much. No cousins to build boats with. No uncles and aunts to fish them out of the waves if they ever got over-excited. He would call himself king, and ever in his heart feel that this crown did not belong to him.

And if he were to meet Elwë again? They had learned that the Fëar of those that had died could be rehoused after a fashion, return among the living. So what would happen if he did come face to face with his older brother once more and had to explain to him that he  had left Elmo behind? Elwë would never, ever, forgive him.

Back…

Maybe they could really be happy here. The sea was the most beautiful thing he had ever seen. The stars overhead gave them light. Ossë and Uinen and Ulmo were ever there, so would it really be so bad to stay? And after all, that meant they could one day reconnect with those they had left behind. This, after all, was home.

… and forth.

But really, his mind was set, and had been from the start. He would do what he and Elwë had set out to do what now felt like an eternity ago.

When he sought out Elmo, he knew at first glance that his face showed his decision, for his brother smiled sadly at him.

“I stand by what I said. I will not leave Middle-Earth without Elwë.”

“Thus we, too, must part then. But Elmo? Promise me you will stay safe. Promise me you will find love and happiness, whether you ever find Elwë or not. And if by some chance you do find him alive, tell him I love him. And that his excuse had better be good!”

Elmo nodded, and Olwë embraced his brother, then turned to board the island at last, to turn his back to the lands of his birth, never to look back.