Yet Were Its Making Good, For This by LadySternchen  

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Talk It Out

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The feast that Elu and Melian gave in honour of their unborn child was a joyous one, and one that was long remembered among the Eglath.

Melian smiled rather shyly at them after the announcement, clearly not altogether comfortable with all the renewed attention. It must be unpleasant, Mablung mused as he sat with the other captains and lords, to reveal news like that and knowing that all of Beleriand would wonder about how they had achieved what was natural to everyone else.

Or have their captains do nothing more sensible than imagine them… well, doing as husband and wife did, Mablung scolded himself silently.

He still had no clue as to how he could have ever overlooked it in the first place, how anyone could have overlooked that Melian was expecting. True, with the year being an unseasonably cold one until now, the queen had easily been able to hide her growing belly under her mantle, but she was so much changed in her whole demeanour that his ignorance had Mablung marvelling at himself. 
He marvelled even more at the fact that he had not noticed the change that had come over Elu, for that, at least, was his duty to notice. Like Melian, Elu was radiant with joy, and it was very clear how much he looked forward to welcoming their child. Still underneath all his joy, Mablung noted now for the first time how worn the king looked, and that he winced ever so slightly at loud noises.

Naturally, Mablung mused. The Quendi raised their children together, and unlike with beasts, the fathers took great share in bringing their children into being, pouring their very selves into those new elflings at their begetting. Mablung remembered well the time when his mother had been pregnant with his twin-sisters. Weary though she had been towards the end, his father had been no less so, as he had ever aided her in spirit, strengthening her and watching over her sleep so her mind could truly rest. 
This sharing of duty must have an even greater effect if the child was not wholly an elf. Coming to think of it, he had no idea how Elu had even done it- sire a child that must be so much mightier than he himself was. Mablung was quite glad he had not known in advance, or else he would have truly feared for the king.

 

Mablung was stirred out of his thoughts when Elu rose to his feet, excusing himself from the feast for a while. Beleg, who sat beside Mablung, wordlessly nudged him to go after the king, which Mablung, too perplexed by Beleg's sudden proposal to object, obediently did. In passing, Beleg handed him a jug of wine as well, and Mablung could have sworn that he saw a rather knowing smile passing between Beleg and the queen. This distracted him for a moment. Was Melian aware of his plight? Had Beleg told her? But no, he would surely not, and anyway, Mablung had other things to focus on just now.

His heart beat very fast as he quietly followed Elu through the forest. What in Arda was he supposed to say? That whole idea became more and more ridiculous in his mind with every step he took. On the other hand, he could not deny that Beleg’s plans had worked out in the past, so he had in truth no reason to assume that this time might be different. He resolved to watch, therefore, as Elu sat down by the roots of a tall beech, leaning against its trunk and closing his eyes for a moment. He looked very exhausted.

“My King?”

Mablung did his best to keep his voice formal and cool, but that there was no possibility to fool Elu was in truth clear from the start. And indeed, as Elu looked up, there was knowing smile on his face.

“Mablung. You came after me worrying after I so unseemly left the feast. You need not have. I was merely escaping the bustle for a while.” he said, inclining his head in a gesture of greeting.

Elu’s tone, too, was polite and formal, and Mablung bowed.

“I shall leave you in peace then, my lord. Forgive my intrusion.”

“Oh no, not at all. You are most welcome to stay with me if you want to. I was not fleeing company, merely the noise. And besides, you are always welcome at my side, though you seem to have forgotten that lately.”

Mablung lowered his gaze, but followed Elu’s invitation to sit down beside him on the grass nonetheless.

“You look tired, lord.”

He could not stop the words from escaping him, as much as he wanted to.

“That I am. It is the price of… well, of begetting a child that is half Maia.” Elu answered, thus proving Mablung right. “But there is no need to look so worried, Mablung, I am quite alright. Melian was very anxious about it as well, but as I already told her, I did not drop dead after begetting that babe, soI will not do so now. And even were it so, I should find it to be a small price to pay. I never dared to dream that Melian and I would become parents one day.”

“You will be a wonderful father.”

At that, Elu suddenly laughed.

“I do hope so. But to be honest with you, I have never in my life been so scared. And you know what my charming brother did when I confided in him? Told me to stop being such a baby myself and that all my exhaustion was really just nerves. Well, I guess he must know.”

Mablung chuckled now, too. He could well see why Elmo would have greatly enjoyed that conversation- being the more experienced for once must surely be very satisfying for him. He did not say so, though, but silently passed Elu the jug of wine, from which the king drank deeply before offering it back to Mablung.

“I shouldn’t do that.” Elu mumbled, more to himself than to Mablung. “I have had quite enough wine already, but… ah well.”

They grinned at each other, and a warmth spread through Mablung that had nothing to do with the drink. 
He could not tell how long they sat without speaking, just enjoying each other’s company and the drink, but at length Elu said:
“I miss your friendship, Mablung. You know that?”

“But you have it, lord, you always…” Mablung started to protest, but Elu would not let him finish.

“I have not been clear- I miss being able to talk to you as I could on the journey, when the fact that I was your lord has not bound your tongue. Nor aught else.”

Mablung sat up straighter.

“Have I leave to speak openly, then?”

Elu looked at him, bewildered.

“You always have it. Forgive me, I… I never thought of telling you that, as I thought it obvious. Do you think I have forgotten what we shared? Do you honestly think that you are nothing more to me than my captain? Do you think I do not remember the nights I slept soundly only because you held me close?”

Mablung took another swig of wine, very thankful of Beleg’s foresight. He would need quite a bit more of it for that conversation.

“Not forgotten, but repented.” he said, without looking at the king.

“I would never repent of it. I loved you ever, and I do so still, as a friend. You are dearer to my heart than I can express with words, and always will be. 
I hoped to find you had left with Olwë, together with your family, so that you would be safe, and free to find happiness across the sea. Call me very selfish for it, but my heart rejoiced nonetheless when I found you had not, and that it was our fate to meet again on these shores. My life would have been so much darker, so much more bereaved had you sailed. 
But for your happiness I grieve, Mablung. I found my true love, my soulmate, and I so wished you had as well.”

Mablung looked long in silence at Elu, then, his tongue loosened by the wine, said:
“You know perfectly well that I have done just that, long before you found Melian. I loved you as long as I can remember, and growing up, that love grew, too. Nay, do not say that you are sorry for waking false hopes, for you did not. I always knew what situation I got myself into. I knew you did not return my romantic feelings. I will not say it did not hurt to see you with Melian at first, but as I said when first I bedded you, I am happy when you are happy. To this I hold. I am happy with life as it is, and my heart desires no other life, not the tree-light, not another companion. If I am allowed to remain by your side, and see you happy and well, then I am more than content.”

“I’m still sorry…” Elu sniffed, and Mablung looked up to see him wipe his eyes.

The king was quite drunk by now, something Mablung admittedly found rather endearing.

“Don’t be.” he answered, noting as he did so that his thoughts and speech were not altogether clear, either. 
Unsurprisingly so, perhaps, as they had emptied the entire jug of wine between them by themselves. As it was, Elu looked ready to nod off even now, which made Mablung laugh once more.

“Lie down, Elu. Before you fall asleep where you sit.”

Elu merely hummed drowsily, and without another word curled up with his head on Mablung’s lap, whose throat was suddenly very tight. He had never imagined to ever share such an intimate moment again with the elf he loved, though if he thought about it, it was perhaps not so great a surprise. Elu had ever been one for cuddles, be it with his brothers or his friends, and surely he must have sorely missed them, singled out by his position as he was.

“Some things never change, it seems?” Mablung asked, but received no answer, so he busied himself with stroking loose strands of hair behind Elu’s ear.

For a while, he remained as he was, savouring the moment and waiting for his head to clear, then he slowly and carefully disentangled himself from his king and rose, spreading his mantle over Elu's still form.

“Sleep well.” he murmured, then went to find the Queen.

 

Mablung found Melian sitting in the glade where they had held the feast, with Lady Thônwen braiding her hair. They both smiled as they beheld him, and Mablung bowed low.

“Have you two at last talked it out?” the queen asked, unveiled mirth in her eyes. 
Mablung felt himself blush violently, but nodded all the same.

“We did. But I am afraid we emptied the jar of wine and…”

Thônwen snorted.

“Is he behaving in any way that will warrant me denying our kinship?"

Now Mablung allowed himself a smile as well.

“Nay, lady, he’s sleeping soundly. But I deemed it prudent to let the Queen know anyway.”

Melian returned his smile, and got up, covering the distance between them dancing, clearly rejoicing in being able to move freely again.

“It is wonderful” she said, as if in answer to Mablung’s thoughts “… not to have to hide it anymore.”

She stroked her rounded belly tenderly, then bade Thônwen goodnight and followed Mablung to where he had left Elu sleeping.

“I apologise for making you so uncomfortable earlier, Mablung.” she said after a little while in a very earnest voice. “I did not mean to.”

“That is quite alright, my lady. I was merely… astonished that you knew.”

Melian laughed.

“How could I not know? Elu told me even before we left Nan Elmoth. You hold a very special place in his heart, as I hope you know. He would have told you so again tonight, I assume?”

“So he has.” Mablung answered gravely.

“I thank you, Mablung, for being so generous as to not begrudge me our love, as you easily might have done, and have been right in doing.”

Melian’s words came somewhat surprising for Mablung, and he felt the heat creep into his cheeks once more.

“Nay, lady, how could I? Much rather, I should thank you for not shunning me for what I did.”

For a while, Melian walked beside him in silence, then she said: 
“Shun you for loving my husband still? What fell creature of Melkor would I need to be to do that? Nay, Mablung, I’d much rather call you a dear friend for it, if you should permit it? Our fates are tied together anyway through our shared love for Elu.”

Mablung felt overwhelmed in a very beautiful way. He had not counted on Melian offering him her friendship, but that she had seemed to lift a heavy weight off his shoulders.

“I would be honoured, Lady Melian. You have my love anyway as my queen, and as the one to make Elu so very happy. I… he is everything to me.”

“That I know.” Melian said earnestly, and she smiled at him before she went to where Elu still lay sleeping.

Mablung remained standing where she had left him. As relief now truly started to sink in, a deep peace settled over him. It would be alright, he thought. Now it would finally be alright.