House of Finwë by softmoonlightmelody  

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1st and 2nd Generations

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I. Lover - Finwë

Finwë’s never quite known where things went wrong. He remembers his mother’s voice, her song, the way that she’d remind him that love can heal all.

He tried to let love heal all. Finwë loved Fëanáro enough to make up Míriel’s absence in his life, loved Indis for the similar hole in himself. And then he loved his other children enough to make up for the cracks from Fëanáro.

Until his last moments, Finwë believed that everything would eventually be alright. As long as he kept loving, as long as he had faith.

He knows now that was a lie.

 

II. Best - Míriel Þerindë

Míriel’s worst trait has always been that she wants to do more. Be the best weaver and broideress, be the best queen, have the best child. She certainly succeeded at the last one, but she failed Fëanáro in the process.

Míriel does not regret dying. She does regret her moment of blinding frustration when she shouted she never wanted to come back to life. She does regret all the silences she left Fëanáro and Finwë.

Míriel is ambitious, though. She wanted the best child, the brightest, the most brilliant, and in that, she can say she succeeded in her goal.

 

III. Mother - Indis

Indis knows what they say of her. Indis also knows what they say of Míriel. It is much the same: they call them both weak mothers, bad wives. Indis supposes it could be true.

Indis was, perhaps, the weakest of mothers, the worst of wives, unable to keep her family together and heal the bleeding wounds into scars. Finwë’s love is the only reason she never lost hope.

Indis is close to two of her children, close to only Findis and Ñolofinwë, and one of them left her. All she has to do, now, is to sit in her regrets.

 

IV. Inventor - Fëanáro Curufinwë

Fëanáro’s always tried to do his duty. To keep his mother’s memory in his heart, to not forsake her the way his father did. To keep his bitterness towards his father’s choices down, at least enough to make it through a year of time.

He has not failed at the first. He failed rather spectacularly at the second. Let it not be said that he did not try. He left Tirion after Findis’s childhood, before the others. He tried, he did.

It’s just that, in the end, Fëanáro chose his duty to his mother over his duty to his father.

 

V. Sculptress - Nerdanel Istarnië

Nerdanel was named twice, once by her mother and once by her father. Nerdanel by her father, the manly daughter who was strong and a sculptor and all the things he wished the son he never had could be.

She was named, perhaps more prophetically, by her mother. Istarnië, she who knows tears.

Nerdanel loves Fëanáro. She could not stop him from going too far. He was always going to go too far, she tells herself, trying to assuage the guilt she knows shouldn’t be hers anyways.

She hears the stories. She wouldn’t recognize her sons anymore. She knows tears.

 

VI. Abandoner - Findis

Findis doesn’t use her name while she studies with Varda. Instead, she uses a generic name – Vardurmë, servant of Varda. If She notices, She does not comment. Findis spends more time with Ilmarë than Varda Herself, anyways.

Findis has always been pious, mostly as a reclamation of her Vanyarin culture. Tirion leaves her feeling scraped dry in a way the more peaceful academics of Valimar don’t care to do, and her alias gives her more merit anyway. Valimar is quieter than Tirion, softer and brighter.

She wakes up to musical bells every day and wonders how her mother could leave.

 

VII. King - Fingolfin Ñolofinwë Arakáno

Fingolfin makes a good king. Administration comes naturally to him; he understands the flow of diplomacy and trade, how to manipulate the court.

Fingolfin knows he makes a better king than Fëanáro did. Or Fëanor, as it is now. He wonders what his half-brother would think about that.

Fingolfin has always wanted to be king. He’s always known he’d be good at it. Every once in a while, he wonders if it was worth losing Fëanáro, Anairë, Turgon, Aredhel. Every once in a while, he wonders what it would be to be like Fingon, brave and bold and loved unheededly.

 

VIII. Lady - Anairë

Anairë has always been the perfect lady, the perfect wife, the perfect mother.

And then Valinor Darkens. And then, despite her best efforts, her husband leaves her and her eldest son is a kinslayer and her other children will not stay with her.

Anairë has always tried to be the best she could be for them, to support her husband and her children in all the ways they break the rules she has for herself.

And at the end of the day, when her family has done the unthinkable, Anairë does her own unthinkable: she stays behind. She helps heal.

 

IX. Wanderer - Lalwen Írimë Lalwendë

Lalwen loves Beleriand. She loves the new places, the maps she can create, and, of course, the fac that Fëanáro isn’t there to hurt all of it, to draw Fingolfin into stoic silence rather than laughter with her.

She knows it isn’t completely fair to blame Fëanáro for all of it, but he has always been the centre of her family’s cracks, and, well, old habits die hard.

But there is one thing Lalwen will never begrudge him: he was right. She loves Beleriand more than she ever loved Valinor. It is harsh, yes, but it is so, so beautiful.

 

X. Least - Arafinwë Ingoldo

Arafinwë never really wanted to be king. Had never considered it either, with both Fëanáro and Ñolofinwë jockeying for the position of heir.

He lived in Alqualondë, with Eärwen and her brothers as his family. He’ll always be the odd one out, with his gold hair to his siblings’ raven black.

And so, of course, he’s the one who got left behind. His siblings, his mother, his father, his children. Even his wife, who he thought would always be by his side, although he can understand her forsaking him.

Arafinwë accepts the title of king and does what he can.

 

XI. Healer - Eärwen

Eärwen does not have time to be livid. She is, of course. How could her children go with the ones who killed her people?

And now her brothers and her mother are dead. Eärwen does not have the time to mourn. Her father has fallen apart; after losing Elmo and Elwë, he has little to lose anymore.

Eärwen’s husband becomes king in Tirion. Eärwen becomes the steward of Alqualondë. She spares thought for her children when she can. She wonders if Beleriand is as beautiful as her father sometimes mutters.

But she has work to do, and none can help.

 

XII. Last - Faniel

Faniel is, perhaps, the second Amanya to have one parent. The first being her brother Fëanáro, of course. He had only Finwë; she has only Indis.

It is fitting, Faniel supposes, that the story of Finwë and Míriel and Indis ends the same as it began: a child with one parent, grieving the loss of the other.

She wonders if Finwë ever regretted leaving Formenos and therefore her behind. The people, excepting Findis, whisper that she will be like Fëanáro, warn Indis not to remarry.

Faniel has decided she will not be like Fëanáro. She has no love for Finwë.