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The face of a humanoid wearing a head kerchief

Preferred Name: Azh

Preferred Pronouns: they or he

Member since .

About Me

I am an avid reader and writer of queer fantasy and a long-time Tolkien nerd who recently got into the Silmarillion.  Now I seem to be writing an inordinate amount of fanfiction for it, featuring an awful lot of Maglor and Sauron, because I only like trash fires.  Expect lots of explorations of gender and the occasional treatise on entropy or the philosophy of science (I sunlight as a physicist.)

Mertiya (AdmirableMonster) on AO3 and my personal website, admirablemonster on Discord (usually).  


Fanworks by AdmirableMonster

This is a Writing fanworkThe Mirror Crack'd by AdmirableMonster

Rescued from a brutal Angband hunt, an ex-thrall with a strange and powerful artifact embedded in his spine is brought to Himring, for it is one of the only places in Beleriand which welcomes such folk. Though he has no memories of his life before, Anniavas slowly becomes accustomed to his new life and finds he has a queer connection with Maedhros, Himring's lord. As their intimacy grows, however, so do the dangers surrounding them, both without and within. What secrets are hidden inside the depths of Anniavas's lost memories--and how will those with whom he is forging and deepening bonds react, when those secrets are at last revealed?

Major Characters: Sauron, Maedhros, Fingon, Finrod Felagund, Original Female Character(s), Original Nonbinary Character(s)
Major Relationships: Maedhros/Sauron, Fingon/Maedhros, Celegorm/Finrod, Original Character/Original Character, Fingon/Maedhros/Sauron
Genres: Alternate Universe, Drama, Hurt/Comfort, Slash/Femslash Challenges:
Rating: Creator Chooses Not to Rate Warnings: Mature Themes, Sexual Content (Graphic), Torture, Violence (Moderate)
Chapters: 1 Word Count: 492
Posted on Updated on
This fanwork is a work in progress.
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This is a Series fanworkThe Light and the Sea (Steampunk Númenor) by AdmirableMonster

Largely focused on Númenor, its fall, and the aftermath, as seen from the perspective of two Mannish scientists, bit players in some ways, but who nonetheless cast their shadows across the history of Middle Earth.

Major Characters: Original Character(s), Unnamed Canon Character(s)
Major Relationships: Original Character/Original Character, Unnamed Canon Character/Original Character
Genres: Science Fiction Challenges:
Rating: Warnings:
Posted on Updated on
This fanwork is a work in progress.
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This is a Writing fanworkNeedst Thou Ice for that Burn? by AdmirableMonster

The publication of a scandalous new novella takes the world of Númenorean literary circles by storm. But who *is* the mysterious author 'Anna'? And why did she pen such a risqué romance? Is it, as some claim, a disgusting piece of dreck that displays the degeneracy of the times? Or is it a clever social commentary hidden behind a front of taboo titillation?

Major Characters: Original Character(s), Tar-Míriel
Major Relationships: Original Character & Original Character
Genres: Experimental, In-Universe Artifact Challenges:
Rating: Adult Warnings: Check Notes for Warnings
Chapters: 1 Word Count: 1, 341
Posted on Updated on
This fanwork is complete.
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This is a Writing fanworkThe Way That She Died by AdmirableMonster

 Last night, the King’s Men put to death a large group of dangerous radicals in the Artists’ Quarter of Armenelos.  Caught only a few hours before their planned assassination attempt on Tar-Míriel, they forced our heroic enforcers to battle for their very lives.  Unfortunately, the splinter group of Faithful fanatics were unwilling to surrender peacefully.  A large number of weapons, including incendiary devices, were recovered from the basement of the house in which they had been planning their cowardly and devious attack. Although all of the royal guard survived, one of their number was carried to the local hospital with severe injuries; he is expected to recover.  
    Citizens are asked to report any unusual activity to the King’s Men. Now, more than ever, Númenor must stand together against those who would destroy her.
    —Short Bulletin in the Armenelos Times, Year 11 of the reign of Ar-Pharazôn

Major Characters: Original Character(s)
Major Relationships: Original Character/Original Character
Genres: Experimental, Poly, Science Fiction Challenges: Musicals, New Year's Resolution
Rating: Adult Warnings: Character Death, Expletive Language, In-Universe Intolerance, Mature Themes, Sexual Content (Graphic), Suicide, Torture, Violence (Mild)
Chapters: 1 Word Count: 3, 656
Posted on Updated on
This fanwork is complete.
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This is a Series fanworkPennas Pengolodh by AdmirableMonster

The majority of the Silmarillion was penned by a single Elf--an Elf who was so thoroughly written out as to appear only through the ways in which their perspective shaped the stories we see. This is their story, the historian's history, the Pennas Pengolodh.

Major Characters: Pengolodh, Salgant, Gil-galad, Dírhavel, Elrond, Glorfindel, Elwing, Original Agender Character(s)
Major Relationships: Pengolodh & Salgant, Gil-galad & Pengolodh, Dírhavel + Pengolodh, Pengolodh/Original Character
Genres: Drama Challenges:
Rating: Warnings:
Posted on Updated on
This fanwork is a work in progress.
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This is a Writing fanworkUnder Granite Skies by AdmirableMonster

A Dwarf on vacation with their lover must contend with an unusual encounter in the middle of the night.

Major Characters: Original Agender Character(s), Pengolodh, Original Character(s)
Major Relationships: Pengolodh/Original Character
Genres: Hurt/Comfort Challenges: New Year's Resolution, Period Drama
Rating: General Warnings:
Chapters: 1 Word Count: 1, 172
Posted on Updated on
This fanwork is complete.
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This is a Writing fanworkA King in More Than Name by AdmirableMonster

Celegorm issues an invitation. Finrod takes him up on it--and proves himself the king that neither of them knew he could be.

Major Characters: Finrod Felagund, Celegorm
Major Relationships: Celegorm/Finrod
Genres: Slash Challenges:
Rating: Adult Warnings: Sexual Content (Graphic)
Chapters: 1 Word Count: 2, 539
Posted on Updated on
This fanwork is complete.
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This is a Writing fanworkThe Truth of the World by AdmirableMonster

Pengolodh interviews a kinslayer.

Major Characters: Pengolodh, Maglor
Major Relationships: Maglor & Pengolodh
Genres: Drama Challenges:
Rating: Teens Warnings: Creator Chooses Not to Warn
Chapters: 1 Word Count: 1, 521
Posted on Updated on
This fanwork is complete.
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This is a Writing fanworkEat, Drink, and Be Merry by AdmirableMonster

Scenes (often domestic, sometimes intimate) from life in Mordor from the fall of Númenor to the Last Alliance.

Major Characters: Mouth of Sauron, Sauron, Tar-Míriel, Witch-king of Angmar, Original Character(s)
Major Relationships: Mouth of Sauron/Sauron, Mouth of Sauron & Original Character, Mouth of Sauron & Witch-king of Angmar
Genres: Drama, Fixed-Length Ficlet, Hurt/Comfort Challenges: Great Beleriand Bake-Off
Rating: Adult Warnings: Sexual Content (Graphic)
Chapters: 6 Word Count: 1, 327
Posted on Updated on
This fanwork is complete.
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This is a Series fanworkEat, Pray, Love by AdmirableMonster

The Darkest Timeline AU for my Steampunk Númenor series.

In which the Mouth of Sauron is originally a Númenorean chemister rescued from Ar-Pharazôn's intimate attentions by Sauron himself.

Major Characters: Mouth of Sauron, Original Male Character(s), Sauron
Major Relationships: Mouth of Sauron/Sauron
Genres: Drama, Hurt/Comfort, Science Fiction Challenges:
Rating: Warnings:
Posted on Updated on
This fanwork is a work in progress.
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This is a Writing fanworkAnd in darkness, light by AdmirableMonster

In the wake of the Final Battle of the Last Alliance, Erestor struggles to keep moving and to reach out to friends and family.

Major Characters: Erestor, Glorfindel, Celebrían
Major Relationships: Erestor/Glorfindel, Celebrían & Erestor
Genres: Drama, Hurt/Comfort Challenges:
Rating: Teens Warnings: Mature Themes, Violence (Moderate)
Chapters: 5 Word Count: 3, 345
Posted on Updated on
This fanwork is complete.
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This is a Writing fanworkSunset by AdmirableMonster

In the wake of the fall of Númenor, the penal colony at Andrast is liberated by Sauron's forces. One of the Historians' College of Númenor bears witness.

Major Characters: Mouth of Sauron, Original Male Character(s)
Major Relationships: Mouth of Sauron/Original Character
Genres: Alternate Universe, Hurt/Comfort Challenges:
Rating: Teens Warnings: Creator Chooses Not to Warn
Chapters: 1 Word Count: 2, 823
Posted on Updated on
This fanwork is a work in progress.
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This is a Writing fanworkFragments discarded by Pengolodh by AdmirableMonster

Pengolodh tries to write about the kinslaying at Sirion. He fails.

Major Characters: Pengolodh, Elwing
Major Relationships:
Genres: Experimental, In-Universe Artifact Challenges:
Rating: Teens Warnings: Creator Chooses Not to Warn
Chapters: 1 Word Count: 276
Posted on Updated on
This fanwork is complete.
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This is a Series fanworkA System of Messages by AdmirableMonster

A collection of stories set in a post-apocalyptic New Mexico AU.

Major Characters:
Major Relationships:
Genres: Challenges:
Rating: Warnings:
Posted on Updated on
This fanwork is a work in progress.
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This is a Writing fanworkSoul made of sky by AdmirableMonster

A stranger and a stranger stranger talk and dream about their fears.

Major Characters: Sauron, Original Nonbinary Character(s)
Major Relationships: Sauron/Original Character
Genres: Alternate Universe, Hurt/Comfort Challenges: The Only Thing To Fear
Rating: General Warnings:
Chapters: 1 Word Count: 734
Posted on Updated on
This fanwork is complete.
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This is a Writing fanworkMy Father's Son by AdmirableMonster

Living in Menegroth, Maeglin is summoned home by his father's wife to visit him. Eöl has never been the same since Aredhel's death in childbirth many years ago, and his mental state may be poisoning the very forest around him.

But for the first time, Maeglin does not have to go alone.
 

Major Characters: Maeglin, Mablung, Eöl, Original Female Character(s)
Major Relationships: Mablung/Maeglin
Genres: Challenges:
Rating: Creator Chooses Not to Rate Warnings: Check Notes for Warnings, Creator Chooses Not to Warn
Chapters: 2 Word Count: 1, 782
Posted on Updated on
This fanwork is a work in progress.
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This is a Writing fanworkThe Day of Doom by AdmirableMonster

Three intrepid stellar explorers witness a crack in the edge of the universe and are guided by an ancient spirit animating an automaton to a strange and unexpected place where they hope to rescue their kidnapped cat. A cat who may hold the future--or its inevitable end--in his far-too-ancient paws.

Major Characters: Celebrimbor, Sauron, Original Character(s)
Major Relationships: Celebrimbor/Sauron, Original Character/Original Character
Genres: Folktales/Myths/Legends, Hurt/Comfort, Science Fiction Challenges:
Rating: Adult Warnings: Sexual Content (Graphic), Violence (Moderate)
Chapters: 2 Word Count: 8, 711
Posted on Updated on
This fanwork is complete.
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This is a Writing fanworkTruth in Tragedy by AdmirableMonster

A short and very personal essay that is a mix of defense-of-genre-fiction and processing my relationship with my dad.  Not intended to tell anyone else how to feel about the fiction they consume, just trying to sort myself out.

Major Characters: Eöl, Denethor (Steward of Gondor)
Major Relationships:
Genres: Experimental, Nonfiction/Meta Challenges:
Rating: Teens Warnings: Mature Themes
Chapters: 1 Word Count: 403
Posted on Updated on
This fanwork is complete.
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This is a Writing fanworkLightborn by AdmirableMonster

Happened to come across this record while helping Círdan clear out his basement. Yes, I know I’m supposed to be taking a break. I find organization relaxing. Anyway, I’m sending it your way because I know what you’re like about any kind of Númenorean historical records, and this is an interesting one. Seems to be a first-person testimony, originally in Adunaic and translated into Westron, then later transcribed, with some notes from a Mannish historian post-Fall. Be warned: it isn’t light reading.
I’ll be returning in a week or two. Try not to let the library become impossibly disorganized in my absence. 
—Erestor

Major Characters: Original Character(s), Sauron, Celebrimbor
Major Relationships: Sauron & Original Character, Celebrimbor & Sauron
Genres: In-Universe Artifact, Science Fiction Challenges:
Rating: Creator Chooses Not to Rate Warnings: Creator Chooses Not to Warn
Chapters: 1 Word Count: 7, 015
Posted on Updated on
This fanwork is complete.
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This is a Series fanworkDoomed Wives (Barely Even Ghosts) by AdmirableMonster

A series of fics focused on my headcanons for the textual ghost characters of Curufin's Wife, Maglor's Wife, and Caranthir's Wife--not to be taken literally as necessarily their actual married partners (or even, in the case of Maglor's, romantically involved at all).  These are just the women who slot into my head in that Legendarium role, as it were.  Largely focused on Maglor's best friend and horsemaster, Hemmoril, who is very much a Horse Girl Lesbian.

Major Characters: Original Female Character(s), Unnamed Canon Character(s), Haleth, Maglor, Caranthir, Nerdanel
Major Relationships: Original Character/Original Character, Maglor & Original Character, Caranthir/Haleth
Genres: Femslash Challenges:
Rating: Warnings:
Posted on Updated on
This fanwork is a work in progress.
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AdmirableMonster's Gallery

A moth, attempting escape, perhaps out of the artist's studio.

Major Characters: No major characters listed
Major Relationships: No major relationships listed
Challenge: No challenge listed
Rating: General
Warnings: No warnings listed

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Annatar in Mandos, as described by Fingon in Chthonion's masterful Harrowing series

Major Characters: Sauron
Major Relationships: No major relationships listed
Challenge: No challenge listed
Rating: General
Warnings: No warnings listed

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Cover page for my Steampunk Númenor series, The Light and the Sea.  Nimruzimir gazes out at Númenor from Andúnië.

Major Characters: Unnamed Canon Character(s)
Major Relationships: No major relationships listed
Challenge: No challenge listed
Rating: General
Warnings: No warnings listed

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