On the paths of life by Aprilertuile  

The day was grey, but not bad at all for a day of March in North Beleriand. 

Himring was a perpetually cold city, it earned its name fairly, and yet the city was well loved by its inhabitants. 

Next to Himring, stood the Himlad national park, mountain, forests, and protected wildlife. That attracted a lot of tourist in the summer season. 

Alas, every year there were accidents because those who didn’t know the area and came unprepared were bound to walk into troubles. 

However all the inhabitants knew to be careful of the mountain. It could be treacherous more often than not. 

And in this season, early in the year, two of such inhabitants were walking on a trek path through out the easiest side of the mountain. 

A man and a woman, Oromë and Vána went on a hike, seemingly to enjoy one of the precious first few spring days without a hint of rain. 

Oromë was a tall man, built like a man who exercised regularly, long black hair free to fly around his face, he seemed to favour browns and green colours in clothing. 

Vána was a petite woman, blond hair, green eyes, an easy smile on her face, looking very much like she was going to burst laughing at any moment. 

The trail took them to a nice rest area settled so people could stop and look at the forest below them. 

But when they arrived, they weren’t alone there. No. 

A young man was sitting on a boulder, petting a squirrel… and not looking very happy.

 He was looking like he might be considering jumping from this height to the bottom of the mountain. 

Oromë felt the need to intervene, just in case: 

“Nice view isn’t it?” He asked. 

Instantly, the squirrel seemed to vanish from sight, and the young man sniffed: 

“Yeah. In the area it’s mainly spruce trees and Frasier fir. So we have a lovely evergreen forest all year round, honestly, in this season it’s a welcome sight. But there’s more diversity of trees if you go lower than the city of Himring. And if you’re patient, you can see so many deer in the area. Too many in fact, since they have too few predators around the immediate reach of the city.”

Oromë blinked at the sudden amount of information thrown his way. 

“What’s your name, kid?” 

“Celegorm, and I’m not a kid. Yours?” 

“I’m Vána, and this is my husband, Oromë. It’s nice to meet you Celegorm!” Vána said cheerfully. 

“Likewise.” Celegorm answered. 

“Do you want to get down the mountain with us?” Vána offered. 

The young man looked at them oddly, like he couldn’t understand why they even stopped to talk to him. 

“I’m fine, thank you. I’ll just stay here for a bit and get down later.” Celegorm answered.

 Vána and Oromë exchanged a look at that. 

“Look, kid, I’m not going to lie, you looked like you were considering taking a dive from the mountain here and I would rather you come back down with us.” 

Celegorm blinked at that, and blinked again: 

“Ah, sorry. I’m not. That was never a consideration. I was just… In need of a quiet space to think.” 

“That doesn’t actually reassure me.” Oromë pointed out. 

“I’m not suicidal! My brothers would kill me!” Celegorm insisted, sounding mildly horrified at the idea. 

While that illogical answer seemed to reassure Oromë a bit, still he insisted. 

“How about we offer you a coffee and an open ear instead, hm?” 

Celegorm eyed the man and his offered hand with suspicion but nodded after a bit of hesitation. It’s not that he wanted to refuse the offer, but there were so many horror stories in the news and Oromë looked like he could easily bench press him so…

Celegorm took his hand, and let himself be pulled to his feet, and down the rock. 

They started to walk down the trail, at first in silence and then…: 

“You were petting a squirrel when we arrived right?” Vána asked, curious. 

“A red squirrel, yes. That one’s a rescue, the daft thing is an escape artist who decided today that he needed to spend the day with me.” 

Celegorm pulled a nut out of pocket and the squirrel seemed to have sensed it, appearing seemingly out of nowhere to steal the nut, eating it right there, in Celegorm’s hand. 

“Oh he’s so cute.” Vána whispered. 

“He’s cute, yeah. He’s also, as I said, an escape artist and is constantly seeking company.” 

“Oh. May I pet it?” 

Celegorm shrugged but approached his hand to her, adding a few more snacks in his hand to ensure the animal wouldn’t flee. 

She petted it shyly at first but seeing it seemed to be enjoying it… 

“He’s so soft.” She said. 

“His fur is very soft, alas that doesn’t seem to mean he’s a gentle squirrel, he’s in truth a demon who’ll enjoy destroying all your decorations on a fit of typical squirrel hyperactivity.” Celegorm answered, amused. 

Oromë winced at that even as Vána laughed: “Someone that shall not be named here gave shelter to a baby deer last year, to a pretty similar result.” 

Celegorm snorted with amusement, eyeing Oromë who was looking pointedly in front of him, a faint blush on his face. 

“A predictable outcome.” Celegorm said, even as the squirrel seemed to tire of the company and went back to hide in a pouch Celegorm seemingly had under his clothing.

“So, may we ask what drove you here?” Oromë asked. 

Celegorm remained silent a moment, deep in thoughts: 

“Considerations on my future.” 

“Care to elaborate?” 

“My father’s a scientist. He thinks that… Well, a man of the family needs to join the scientific community in order to be useful to the community. Or failing that, his father had been army once, and that is a perfectly honourable path. So my father’s willing to pay for my studies in either sciences or officer school.” 

Oromë and Vána were listening in silence, although they exchanged a look that Celegorm couldn’t decipher at that. 

“But I want neither path. Going into the army almost killed my older brother. I’m not a coward, but fighting a war that isn’t mine doesn’t appeal to me. Walking to the tune of someone else in a strict environment would kill me, I’m pretty sure. As for sciences… I want to become a ranger in the national park, to keep an eye on the Woods and the local wild-life. I don’t want to become a scientist to work in an office all day, which is the path of life my father believes is the best.” 

“And your father won’t support you?” 

“He says he won’t. And, I mean… I got a partial scholarship for a university for a course I’d love, pending acceptable results for the exams, that’d put me on a good track to become a national park ranger.” 

“Partial, hm?” 

“Yeah. Enough to be interesting, but I’d have to actually find a job, and possibly an apartment of my own and I have 0 qualifications. One of my brothers, a maths genius said that my chances of success are below average. It’s aggravating that he has no faith in me whatsoever or that he’s so much of a daddy’s boy. It’s not like it’s easy to get partial scholarship in anything. I’m not that bad.” 

“And so you hesitate?” 

“I still want to try… But I’ll be at odd with dad, and if I fail I’ll just… Have nothing to my name but debts. Not a great start to adult life, or so I’ve been told.” 

Vána and Oromë exchanged a look and it’s together that they left the forest, to stop at the coffee-shop nearby, usually frequented by tourists and park employees alike. 

They ordered drinks, non-alcoholic ones, and sat together at a table, waiting in silence for their order to arrive. 

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By the time Celegorm came back home, night was already there. He hesitated at the door, he knew already what he’d hear. 

But, well, the weather was starting to be cold and he couldn’t spend the night outside anyway so… 

He went in and immediately: 

“MOM, Tyelko’s back!” Celegorm’s twin brothers called. 

“See if I get you the sweets you wanted.” Celegorm hissed at them. 

Their mild look of glee turned into pouts at that. 

“Celegorm, come here, we need to talk.” 

“No sweets. For a week.” Celegorm whispered at them sharply as he approached the livingroom. 

The twins left running, probably to complain to one of their siblings about how cruel he was. Celegorm didn’t care and he was pretty sure that their other brothers were not going to care either, the twins were too often snitching on them to their mother. 

His mother Nerdanel was there, sitting at the low table with a coffee, his college and university applications and answers in front of her. 

“Hi mom. I see you got into my room and rummaged through my desk.” 

“Not me.” 

“Ah, the Twin terrors or dad?” 

“Your brothers.” 

He should have made that a month without sweets! Celegorm thought instantly. 

“Your father is still fuming in his office after your argument this morning.” Nerdanel continued. 

Celegorm snorted at that. Of course he was. For a highly acclaimed scientist and a genius weapon-smith, his father could put the Ambarussa twins to shame when it came to expressing his discontent. 

“Great. So, what’s your opinion on the argument? Because I suppose you have one.”

Nerdanel shrugged tiredly. 

“I had an opinion for Maedhros when he decided to join the army, and I had one for Maglor when he decided to quit school for his online career. Neither listened to me. Now Maedhros is in rehabilitation after his stint with the army, and your second older brother is a rising star in the music scene but a school drop-out. Would my opinion change anything?” 

Celegorm shrugged as well. 

“I don’t know.” 

“For what it’s worth, although I think that this type of work is not well-paid, compared to what you could make as a scientist, and has neither job security nor enough place to provide all the hopeful applicants, I’m impressed that you went this far already.” Nerdanel told him. 

Celegorm blinked at that, and looked at her like he couldn’t believe what he just heard.

“Mom… You know I love you right?” 

“Of course…” 

“Yeah, so I love you, but you are an artist. You make sculptures for a living. You have exactly zero lesson to give to anyone about job security or the value of taking a safe path in schooling.” 

Nerdanel looked at her son sharply: 

“I’m an artist, so I know very exactly what I sacrificed in order to succeed and I know my children and I am not exactly sure that you are ready for the kind of sacrifice that success will require.” 

“So I better have a miserable life that’ll make me a bitter old man before my time? Yeah… No thank you. Also… I absolutely adore that it’s three people of the family already who told me that I would fail and I’m too lazy to make an effort. Do you all think that getting scholarships based on merit is easy? I managed to snatch one while competing with the rest of the damn country for it.” 

“School is one thing. You’ll need good timing and a lot of chance, and probably another family name. I’m a realist, my son. The national park works with people who fund the Doriath organisation that is doing everything it can to kill off your father’s business. You think you’ll have equal chances to become a ranger than any other applicant? Think again. They’re still making waves and publishing articles that call our name evil.”

Celegorm wondered faintly why he even bothered to go hiking to clear his head and think. This conversation alone was doing a world of wonder to make him want to stick to his chosen path, out of contradictory spirit alone. 

“The members of Doriath aren’t the only one giving money to the park They’re not even the ones who give the most. They’re unlikely to have any say about who works in the park or not. Also the Himlad national park isn’t the only national park in Beleriand. I’m willing to move to another city in order to achieve my goals even if I’d love to remain here. You have a too narrow idea of what I want, mom.” 

“Your father will not help you.” 

“Eh, yeah, I noticed he cut Maglor high and dry and that our dear brother went to live with Nelyo as a result. I had no illusion that he’d start to help me when I’m following the same path of ignoring his wishes.” 

“And Nelyo has a small house and cannot take in another person.” 

“I know, I’m already planning to find a job and an apartment for myself. I don’t need much. Four walls and a roof would be enough. Not like with a job and the university classes I’ll have a lot of time for leisure to spend at home anyway.” 

Nerdanel looked deeply unhappy at that. 

“It all depends on your final exam grades.” She said. 

“I’m aware.” 

He wasn’t too worried about that either. His grades were good enough to earn a partial scholarship all year round when he honestly was trying but without much hope. Now that he knew there was a real possibility of getting his prize, there was no reason for him to suddenly tank his grades. 

Nerdanel pinched the bridge of her nose and sighed. 

“You and your father are far too stubborn. We will revisit this conversation when you have your finals result, in June.” She sighed. 

Celegorm nodded. 

That left him a few months to find a basic job and perhaps prospects of an apartment for worst case scenario. 

And it was better than the profanities he had heard from his father’s mouth earlier. 

He couldn’t believe he even learnt new ones in the process. That was mildly infuriating! He was the teenager with a foul mouth here, his father was supposed to be a genius scientist with a sense of decorum!

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Celegorm grabbed his applications answers back and went to his room. The place was neat but for the desk that was apparently ransacked. So not only his little brothers went through his belongings, they also didn’t do it carefully and left a mess behind. 

They’d have to beg him for him to ever again agree to buy them sweets behind their parents’ back. 

He sat at the desk and while the squirrel ran to its nest, he started to put his things in order. Papers he needed in the top drawer, school work separated by subjects in the lower side drawers, pens, pencils back in their case, books put back in his shelf, and laptop back on its stand. 

He then pulled his phone out, and hesitated, but… 

“Hi Oromë. It’s Celegorm. I’m back home and I think I got mom to decide to wait until we know my finals result in June before she starts hounding me about my future. Sweet uh?” 

He typed, then deleted it, then typed it again, hesitated… but shrugged. 

The other man did say to keep him updated if he wished to and… 

He and his wife had been… More open than any other adult in his life, and easy to talk to and… He had a good feeling about them. 

Besides if the message was bothering him, Oromë could always ignore it. 

There was no answer for a while, and Celegorm just left the phone on the desk and fell on the bed, pulling out one of his books. A book written by the famous oceanographer Ulmo. 

The man was an old legend by now, and did a lot for Ocean conservation. 

Celegorm wasn’t going to lie, he dreamed of doing for the Woods what Ulmo did for the oceans. Oh he knew he probably never would. A man like that was like, one in ten lifetimes. But dreams couldn’t hurt. 

Oceans were vital to life on the planet, but so were forests. So were wild animals. 

But for now he settled, reading on his bed, until Caranthir knocked at his door and entered the room without waiting for an answer: 

“I got Curvo to understand that his continuous support of dad’s plan for our lives isn’t appreciated.” 

Celegorm looked at his brother with a raised eyebrow. 

“What did you do to him?” 

“I threatened to tell dad he was the one who messed his computer last time.” 

“That is evil and I love you for it.” 

Caranthir smiled briefly in amusement at that. 

“And you’re an idiot.” 

That however made Celegorm look serious fast. He was tired of hearing that sort of things in the mouth of his family. 

“What were you thinking leaving as you did! I called Nelyo and Kano, they didn’t see you either! Where the fuck did you go?! We were worried here!” 

Ah. That. 

“Himlad’s national park’s easier trail.” 

“There are no easy trails in that national park as you are so fond of telling us.” Caranthir hissed. 

“I said easier, not easy.” Celegorm answered flatly. 

“You need to stop doing that! Stop running away to the gods-who-don’t-exist only know where when you’re upset!” 

“I literally always go to the Himlad national park when I run away from home and have been since I was 10 and discovered I could go there by bus. There is zero mystery there. Like… None. Anyone who knows me can tell you that. Hells brother, our cousins could tell you where I go.” 

“Yes, because a national park is such a small place where we can so easily find you shall anything ever happen because you’re too upset or drunk to think straight.”

Celegorm winced at that, thinking of the numerous lost hikers reported missing every year, some of them never recovered to this day. 

In front of his strategic silence, Caranthir nodded: “That’s what I thought.” 

“Look, you know I hate to be cooped up, and it’s worst when I have things in my mind, it’s not new. I also stay safely on the path of whatever trail I take. And last, brother mine, this is my room, you are my little brother, and I owe you neither explanation nor apologies. Get out.” 

Caranthir looked momentarily like he was going to insist, but one look at Celegorm made him reconsider. He left the room, slamming the door on the way, and Celegorm went back to reading his book. 

The next interruption was his mother calling them for a late evening meal. 

Celegorm briefly considered skipping it but decided that it was absolutely out of the question in a matter of seconds. 

He was sure of his choice, and avoiding his parents wouldn’t allow them to trust that he was mature enough to make said choice. If he wanted them to take him seriously, he had to show them he wasn’t afraid to argue his point. 

Again. 

So he went down to the dining room, took a seat at the table and as they were going to start eating, Fëanor arrived victoriously with a stack of papers that he brandished like a standard: 

“National park rangers are about 10 times more likely to die on the job than even police officers!” Fëanor said, putting a paper under Celegorm’s nose. 

“Actually, I think you mean 12 times more likely. And 42% of those deaths over the last… Ten year or so according to last year’s data, was human interactions issues. The rest was all accidents, nature taking its toll and animals being wild.” Celegorm corrected flatly, putting the paper aside to serve himself a plate of the lasagna his mother had served. 

The silence at the table was shocked. 

“What? You though I did no research and only trusted the postcard images of guys in ranger gear in front of a cabin in the woods? Please…” Celegorm sighed with a roll of eyes. 

“That… But then why?” 

“I love nature, I think it needs to be protected from humans as much as humans need to be protected from nature. I love nothing more than to be outside, I love hunting, I’m actually following every year the research that the rangers participate in about wild-life… It’s something I am passionate about, I’m aware the pay isn’t the best there is out there. I’m also aware it’s enough to live well. I’m aware it’s a dangerous job, but so are other jobs out there. And don’t tell me that nuclear weapon manufacturing is all that safe. I was there when the police came to talk to you about the deadly accident at the lab, 3 years ago.” 

Fëanor visibly wanted to argue the point but also seemed impressed that his son had actual arguments and did his research. 

“Fëanor, enough. Celegorm received a partial scholarship. I did read the information he was sent, it’s perfectly fair, and as it’s all depending on his finals grades, we agreed to revisit this conversation when he will have the result of his finals at the end of the school year.” Nerdanel intervened, salad bowl in hand. 

Fëanor grumbled but put his papers aside and came to sit at the table. 

“If we do wait until the end of the school year, it’ll be late for him to send his application to proper universities and he’ll be able to get in only if there are enough places left, which, late in the school year, isn’t a guarantee.” Fëanor pointed out. 

“Because you’re entirely unable to throw your weight around and ensure your son enters the university of your choice, even if late in the season.” She said drily. 

“That is not… I thought you didn’t want me to do that anymore?” Fëanor commented with a raised eyebrow. 

“Because you used to do that about anything at all and that is a worrying behaviour. Right now we’re speaking of our son’s future, not the about the next holiday you decided to take on a whim.” Nerdanel pointed out. 

Celegorm snorted softly at that. 

He did intent to keep his grade up, and so the question that would arise would be more how long his father would allow him home, and absolutely not how to push him into a university he was sure to hate on principle alone. 

But for now he’d let his parents keep their illusions about this. They’d see well enough by the end of the year. And oh, that discussion was going to be… Ah explosive if he trusted what happened with Maglor last time. 

Although the situation would be a bit different wouldn’t it? 

Maglor launched his own Youtube channel and quickly gained momentum and money from that, and chose to drop out of university to go into making music full time. 

Whereas he wanted to keep studying, just not in the subjects his father wanted him to. He didn’t endanger his future, other paths of work would still be available to him if he couldn’t become a national park ranger… Just less interesting ones. 

Celegorm wondered if he could argue that point next time the subject would come up...

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Monday came again, and with it the return to high-school. 

Celegorm wanted nothing more than to abandon classes and go in town or back to the park but if he wanted to get that scholarship… Well… attendance was as important as the grades so… 

He just watched longingly as his best friend, Loscarmë, left the establishment as soon as they arrived. Him and several of their friends were going to the city center instead of class. 

“You sure you don’t want to come?” Loscarmë tried one last time. 

Celegorm shook his head. 

“I really can’t this time.” 

“Alright then. Take notes for me in history?” 

“Yeah, if I don’t fall asleep listening to the prof talking.” Celegorm answered amused.

Loscarmë laughed at that and left. 

“I’m surprised you didn’t fuck off with your friend.” Caranthir noted. 

“Priorities, baby brother, priorities. I’m getting that scholarship come hell or high water.”

“Partial scholarship.” Caranthir pointed out. 

“Yes brother, partial scholarship, which is way better than nothing, and is rewarding anyway considering again the number of people interested in this university every year. I don’t know if you realise how many candidates there are asking for that sort of funding, and it’ll help me tremendously when dad realises how serious I am about it. Or perhaps it'll help me to show dad how serious I am about this. Whichever will apply in truth.”

Caranthir looked away at that. 

“And let’s be honest, you really should be looking into it too to go in accounting.”

“Business management.” Caranthir corrected softly before he flinched and looked toward Curufin who was already near the entrance of the building, nowhere near enough to hear them. 

Celegorm nodded: “Business management then. But you know dad won’t approve of that anymore than he approves of my chosen career path. So look into your options and lay off me.” 

“Dad has more knowledge and experience!” Caranthir said quietly with a note of uncertainty in his voice, even as they found themselves having to run to get to their respective classes. 

The morning passed in utter boredom for Celegorm who nevertheless took detailed notes of his lessons. 

He was still bored out of his mind. 

But at least Loscarmë could have proper notes in all the subjects. 

At lunch however, as he was sharing a table with Loscarmë and Loscarmë's usual friend group, Celegorm found himself smiling helplessly looking at his phone: He just received a message from Oromë: 

“Hey kid, sorry for the late answer, I was surprisingly busy until now. So one of your parents is in your corner?” 

“Hey… not really. Mom isn’t any more happy than dad about my project, that she considers unnecessarily difficult to achieve, but the fact I got the agreement for the partial scholarship impressed on her how serious I am about this and she never stopped us when we are serious about a subject so… She disagrees with me, but she’ll let me prove my willingness to work for it.” 

“That’s good” Oromë answered. 

Yes, it was, although Celegorm would have much preferred for his parents to accept his projects with love and support but… Eh… at least he wasn’t given an unreasonable ultimatum like Maglor was over his decision to drop university. 

Also he wondered what it would take to convince Oromë to stop calling him ‘kid’. 

It reminded him a bit too much of how little power he had over his own life when his parents were concerned. 

“I’m not unhappy about it, to be honest. I just have to be serious about my studies until then and then… Well… It’ll be up to me I guess, to keep doing the best I can and to find a job. Should I search for one already you think?” 

The answer was fast to arrive. 

“About a job, the sooner you find one, the sooner you can start to put money aside for an apartment or paying the tuition your partial scholarship won’t cover, so I’d say yes. Look for one.” 

Oromë continued in a second message: 

"Plus, it's easier to find a job as a student to accumulate some work-place experience, so that later when you are in front of a recruiter for your dream job, they'll be able to contact other professional who can vouch for your serious and work ethic. If you are serious about it, I mean." 

Celegorm bit his lips at that. 

It did sound like sound advice but… It wasn’t really the answer he had hoped for as he also wanted to enjoy his life free of obligation for as long as he could. 

But Oromë did make sense. 

Ugh. That meant going to the school’s counsellor for help because he wanted to be as independent about that as he could, seeing it was all for a project his parents disagreed with but he had no idea how to start looking for a job. 

“Who’s that?” Loscarmë, back for lunch with the rest of their friends, asked, curious. 

“A fellow hiker, we met last week-end on the blue trail in the park.” 

Loscarmë look fondly bemused: 

“The park again?” 

“I got into an argument with dad, you know how we are. Anyway, he’s cool. I like him. His wife is fun too.” 

While talking, Celegorm used his phone to send a mail to the school’s counsellor asking for a meeting. 

“And you’re sure it’s safe? You know that last year was a bit of a record year for the number of disappearances in the park right? You’re sure he’s not some sort of psychopath out to…” 

“Out to what? Not murder me when he had the chance, and actually try to make another chance to murder me because the idea came to his mind later? Please we and his wife spent a solid two hours on a trail where no one else was last week-end. I trust he at least has more sense than that.” 

“Uh… You know, said like that…” 

Celegorm looked at Loscarmë pointedly. 

“Oh fine, it was uncalled for.” 

“See?” 

“Unless he’s a psychopath while his wife is normal and unaware and…” 

“I’m going to throw that thing that wants to pass for a plate of spinach in your face if you keep that up.” Celegorm warned him flatly. 

“Just saying.” 

“Loscarmë… I know that your interest in the national park is limited, but if you don’t shut up about the dangers I might find there, I’m going to do something to you that I won’t regret anytime soon.” 

Said Loscarmë, his best friend since middle school, looked briefly like he wanted to push that subject and start a fight in the middle of the school cafeteria. 

Alas, he took a look at the table the teachers tended to use to eat lunch and saw at least two looking their way, and he grimaced. 

“Yeah, fine.” 

They fell briefly silent, eating, but silence didn’t last long: 

“So, what do your hiker say?” 

“That if I’m serious about my project, I should start looking for a job now.” 

“Uh. You know… That’s not a bad advice. Dad’s been hounding me to find one too. I keep blowing him off but uh…” 

“Yeah.” 

“You’re serious to that point about the whole… Blowing your dad off and studying sciences of biodiversity or whatever that was?” 

“Yup, I am.”

“Your dad’s going to explode.” 

“You know, I’m pretty sure that self-combustion isn’t actually a thing.” 

“I’m sorry, have you met your dad?! I was at yours two years ago when your brother Maglor left university. I thought your dad was about to murder someone!” 

“I mean… he was probably about to murder Maglor to be fair. But it’s Maglor, he’s a diva, a pest and wanting to murder him on the spot is a pretty natural state of being after five minutes spent in his company for anyone not called Maedhros.” 

“… Nevermind. So a job uh. Any idea how to start that one?” Loscarmë asked, a note of considering curiosity in his voice. 

“Not yet, which is why I contacted the school’s counsellor who will be able to explain the process to me.” 

Seeing Loscarmë’s considering face, Celegorm shrugged: 

“I can pass along the info I’ll get if you want.” 

“Uh. Yeah, sure. Why not?” 

By the end of the day, Celegorm had a meeting with the school’s counsellor for the next day after class, AND decided once and for all that whoever invented philosophy was in fact a sadist.

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Much to Celegorm’s annoyance, it took him a solid month to find a job. Nothing he appreciated in truth, but as he was told, no employer would take, for his kind of dream job, someone without any qualification. 

So being an employee in a shopping center it was. 

Although by the end of his first day he was considering the merits of murdering customers. 

Forget Philosophy. Customer services were the true evil of this world. 

The salary was terrible, the people were terrible, the boss was just throwing his weight around and Celegorm was truly done with that experience in one hour flat. 

He had a contract the next 3 months, which would take him until mid June. 

Just in time for him to start panicking about his exams. Cheers. 

And by the first day he was ready for it to be over and done with. And… Well… There was a trial period. Perhaps he could just… Blow it epically? 

“Why did I ever think that finding a job in a shopping center of all things was a brilliant idea?” He sent to Oromë at the end of the work day. 

“Because you really want to be able to get into the university of your choice to have a chance of one day doing the job of your dreams, and for that you wanted to start putting money aside and you said it was only for 3 months.” 

Celegorm looked at his phone and groaned. 

He absolutely hated that Oromë made so much sense and sounded so reasonable about it. No one in existence should be that reasonable about retail work. 

“But to console you, Vána wishes to invite you to come do the green trail with us tomorrow afternoon, if you’re up for it and all your school work is done.” 

What did Oromë take him for? A child? Of course his work would be done for Monday. He needed his grades to stay good, and even raise higher, not to get lower! He wasn’t going through the hassle of that job just to fail the basic requirements for the scholarship. 

“Work is done for Monday, and oh yes please.” 

“Meet at the ranger welcome station at 1pm?” 

Celegorm calculated quickly the time it’d take him to get there from work and grimaced:

“Would one thirty be ok?” 

“Sure!” 

“It’s a date then.” Celegorm answered before wincing. 

His mother better never find this specific conversation or he’ll have a discussion about what is an appropriate type of vocabulary to have with a married man a few years his senior. 

To his defence the man was… A friend? Or something like that. 

He went back home, pretty happy with the prospect of the next day despite the fact he thought the worst of his brand new job. 

His parents were waiting for him: 

“So? How did it go?” Nerdanel asked. 

“Customers are evil incarnate and should be eradicated from the surface of this earth.” Celegorm answered freely, going to the kitchen to grab a chocolate bar. 

Fëanor snorted in amusement at that: 

“I win.” He whispered to his wife. 

“Also after work tomorrow I’m going to the park, to do the green trail. Or a part of it at least.” Celegorm told them. 

“Not yet, you didn’t.” She whispered back. 

“Not yet over with that job then?” Fëanor asked more loudly to his silver haired son.

“Alas, father dear, no. And hopefully I can keep it until June. That’d be neat.” 

“I thought customers were evil?” 

“Because they are. But I want to put some money aside and alas I was recently reminded that miracles didn’t exist and if at 18 I can find a job, as a high-school student I have no actual qualification for any interesting job. So… I mean, unless you’re willing to bail me out if I’m caught selling drugs…?” 

“The day you’re caught doing something illegal like that, you can deal with the results yourself, darling son of mine.” Fëanor answered sharply. 

“Alas, I knew you’d say that.” 

Once his chocolate bar was all but gone, Celegorm wondered whether to go see Nelyo. His brother didn’t live all that far, and… Well, he might have some advices for him too. And it was barely 8pm. 

He took a look at his watch. ‘Alright, 9 pm’. And so perhaps not the time to go and bother him… But perhaps he could call? 

Celegorm ran up the stairs to the rooms and enter his, letting his door slam shut. 

He composed his brother’s number and waited. 

“Hello Tyelko.” 

“Hi Nelyo!” 

“What may I do for you? What is on fire and is anyone dead?” 

Celegorm looked at his phone in utter disbelief. 

“I just need some advice, there’s no fire and no one’s dead. Although I might be considering murdering the twins somewhat soon on principle alone.” 

“So as usual then. Alright, what advice do you seek, little brother?” 

Celegorm grimaced, wondering how to summarise his situation. 

“I plan on studying something dad will hate. I got a partial scholarship pre-approved pending my finals results at school. And I found a temporary job that… Well that I may perhaps have to try to keep despite the fact that it deals with people of all things…” 

He smiled as he heard his brother snort in amusement through the phone. 

“And so?” 

“Brother… Dad said he won't support me if I go into the uni I wants to get into. I'm still a high-school student here, and ok I have some money aside and I found a job but… It barely pays at all. I looked around on various websites but rent is absolutely off the roof in the area.” 

Maedhros hummed softly at that. 

“Look, what did dad say?” 

“Pretty much that I’m a fool to bother with finding a low paying job when I should be a happy go lucky high-school student and focusing on my studies, and that my project is a fool’s project and I should give it up and follow his path for me or else. I don’t quite know what the ‘or else’ is at the moment aside form his refusal to pay for school, but going by what happened with Maglor, I believe the ‘or else’ in question implies a lack of... Well everything from financial support to help for lodging.” 

“What did mom say?” 

“We’ll see in June with my school result.” 

“Alright. So first thing first, what happened with Maglor happened because he just dropped out of school. If he hadn’t, he’d still be supported by our parents, ok? Don’t drop out, and you won’t be threatened to be left in the street.” 

“Is that sure or is that a ‘perhaps, hopefully’, kind of thing?” 

“It’s a ‘I was there for that argument so yes, that's sure, although prepare for the worst, it'll only win points with dad’, and you’ll do that by focussing on your exams first and showing a good work ethic since you landed a job.” 

“Hope for the best and prepare for the worst uhn? Oromë said the same thing.” Celegorm mused. 

“Who is Oromë? I’m sorry is the name doesn’t ring a bell, but I’m pretty sure I haven’t met him? A new friend?” 

“Hm. A fellow hiker.” 

“I should have known.” Maedhros said with amusement. 

Celegorm rolled his eyes. So perhaps he was a bit obsessed but it wasn’t his fault if other people didn’t see the beauty of nature and the need to preserve the natural world.

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Celegorm didn’t say it, but when the time of his exams came close, and his contract in the shopping center came to an end, he was so relieved he could have cried.

He couldn’t express in words how much he loathed this job.

He held on, mostly with Oromë’s and Vána’s encouragements, but by now he was starting to understand why some people just lost their mind and went to work with a weapon to unleash all their pent up hatred and rage on whoever they felt deserved it.

But the first week-end after he was freed from that awful, awful job, he took his revision sheets, water, snacks, a rain coat just in case and went to walk one of the national park’s trails. He walked just enough to find a nice shaded place with a cold, always cold, stream passing through and sat there to study.

Obviously his parents never believed he studied anything when he settled outside to do it but frankly at this point he couldn’t care less. Studying could be done anywhere at all. And only being outside in nature made maths and philosophy palatable.

Also at home the squirrel tended to try to eat his pen, or his work, so...

He had no idea how much time passed when he was intruded upon by a bemused park ranger.

“You alright here, kid?”

“No I’m not. Math is trying to turn my brain to mush.” He answered before he realised who he was speaking to: “uh I mean, yeah, I’m fine, sorry.”

The man laughed quietly at that, shaking his head, and kept walking up the trail.

Celegorm checked his watch and grimaced. Only an hour had passed. He could have sworn more time had gone but no. Math truly had a gift to make time pass oh so slowly.

He briefly considered taking a break but he knew himself. If he took a break he wouldn’t return to his lessons and he needed to get this right. He sighed and, with great difficulties, he went back to it.

The sun had moved significantly when he found himself interrupted by Oromë:

“Hey, kid.”

“Hey, old man.” Celegorm answered distractedly.

“Ouch, that hurts!”

Celegorm smiled as he looked up, and looked back down to the massive dog at Oromë’s side:

“Hi Oromë.”

Oromë looked at the revision sheets in his hands, briefly. By now he had gone into his philosophy courses.

“I see you chose an interesting study place.”

“I have a squirrel and 4 brothers living at home, among which a pair of twins who don’t believe in quiet or privacy. And I hate going to the library so… Here it is.”

“Fair enough. Are you ready for the final exams?”

“I’m both confident I can do it, and worried I’m about to fail everything, hence my last minute studying.”

Oromë snorted softly.

“You gave all you could for this project so far. I’m confident you can do it, kid.” Oromë said, placing a gentle hand on his shoulder.

Celegorm leaned against him, soaking up the attention of the older man.

“And if I fail?”

“You’ll have tried your hardest, you’ll have done everything you could to succeed. It’s better to try, and fail, than to not try and forever regret it. Believe me kid. Don’t do that to yourself.”

Celegorm wanted so much to ask the other man what he shied away from doing…

“How did you find me?”

“Incidentally. I want to go to the lake side.”

Celegorm nodded, this path was the straightest path to get there but…

“So late in the day?”

“I didn’t say I’d have hours to spend there, but I can go there and back before night time today. Nahar needed the exercise so...” Oromë shrugged.

“Nahar, uh? Is that your dog’s name?”

“Yes.”

“What breed is that?”

“It’s a wolfhound.”

Celegorm looked impressed despite himself.

“May I pet him?”

“Certainly. Nahar, sit.”

The dog obeyed, and Celegorm passed his hands in the soft fur of the absolutely massive dog.

“You are a beautiful creature, Nahar.” Celegorm whispered to the happy dog.

Oromë observed them quietly for a time and finally:

“Do you want to come with us? Take a break. You need to breathe too.” He offered.

Celegorm looked at his study papers and finally put them all in his backpack, ready to follow Oromë.

It would do him a world of good to go for a walk and clear his head after several hours of work.

The day was warm but not too hot to walk in the park, the trees offered a nice shade, the ever present wind provided a nice cool feeling, and, in Celegorm’s opinion, the excellent company he had on this walk alone was doing a lot to relax his nerves, and settle his pent up energy.

“The job I want…” He started.

“Yes?”

“It’s based on a competitive examination. Last year there were 1200 people on the list… And 32 accepted.”

“That’s a sharp cut off.”

“Hm. You have to be the best to manage.” Celegorm sighed.

Oromë nodded.

“Passion might help.” He offered.

Celegorm smiled quietly.

“It might. Or I might be destroying my future trying to do something hopeless.”

Oromë snorted.

“I doubt that. Pretty sure that even if you don’t manage the competitive examination, if you pass your diploma, you’ll have alternative work available in fields close enough to your dream job to still be interesting.”

Celegorm remained silent for a bit and the nodded:

“I know but…”

“But you worry.”

“But I worry.” He nodded.

Oromë passed his arm around Celegorm’s shoulders as they were walking, Nahar trotting happily at their side.

“Alas, you forgot a golden rule, kid.”

“Oh?”

“Take things step by step. First you need your high-school diploma, then you need to work on your university diploma, and only then you’ll need to worry about the competitive examination. You won’t have the knowledge or training to do anything about the last one if you don’t get both your diplomas first.”

Celegorm didn’t answer. It was hard not to worry, but the quiet confidence of the man was something he needed and leant into.

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The day they were to receive their high-school finals results, Celegorm was up at about 5am, picked up his phone, his hiking backpack and left the house quietly. 

If he remained there, he’d wake up everyone in short order and he knew it. Better to go for a walk or for a hike, get busy until a more reasonable hour, and considering it was already holidays for his little brothers, basically, he better be off until at least 10am.

Coincidentally, he needed to be at the high-school at about 10am to get the results of the finals so… 

He sent a message to Oromë: 

“Gone for a hike bright and early. Green path, 2h in, 2h back planned.” 

He was just arrived at the start of the path, when he received a message back from Oromë: 

“Up early. Anything wrong?” 

“Just nerves I guess,” he answered. “Plus I’m an early riser usually so… that doesn’t help.” 

The answer being “Ugh, morning people” made him laugh. 

According to Oromë’s delightful wife, the poor man needed two coffees in the morning to wake up properly. 

This conversation had been pretty funny because neither spouse was afraid of teasing each other, and so according to Oromë, apparently, Vána never could stay up past 9pm.

Celegorm found joy and comfort in walking in nature, he found himself feeling better as he started to walk the path. 

It was a path he knew well, that he found comfortable to navigate before going to school.

And if he was less than squeaky clean to get his diploma exam results… Well… Who cared? His teachers certainly saw him in a worse state than sweaty and dusty, his friends could be worse on average, and the rest of his classmates knew better than to ask by now. 

He was smiling as he left the park, fully relaxed and ready to take whatever would befall him. 

He took the bus toward the high-school… And grimaced as he was 5 minutes past the posting of everyone’s grades. 

There’d be an official diploma distribution later, right now was for knowing who passed and who didn’t.

It was public and messy but it was only the students here. 

And Caranthir was waiting for him by the entrance of the school, looking… Carefully blank. Celegorm stopped in front of him and raised an eyebrow: 

“Did I fail then?” 

Caranthir shook his head and pointed toward the entrance. 

Celegorm groaned but went in, elbowing people out of his way to get to where the results were noted. 

Grades were calculated on a base of 100 points. The overall grade was clearly printed and pinned to the walls for all to see, and teachers were there, distributing the document that detailed each class’ individual grade. 

Looking for his name in the middle of a crowd of a hundred of other students was pretty nerve-wracking but, pushing people and being pushed in turn, he found his name and gasped. 

To get his partial scholarship he needed an overall grade of 80. 

His overall grade was 97. 

He never had that good a grade. Well he never before saw the point in studying carefully even material he disliked, which usually pulled his overall grades around 79-85. 

He let Loscarmë pull him toward the teachers and he got his detailed report card. 

“Congratulations.” The teacher told him in a flat voice, looking bored out of his mind. 

Celegorm didn’t blame him: underpaid and understaffed, teachers had to face students and parents day in and day out, and no force on earth could pay Celegorm enough to deal with all that crap all day, every day, for all his career. 

Loscarmë got his own too: 85 out of 100. 

“I guess your study habits and note taking helped me too.” Loscarmë said, as shocked as Celegorm was as he usually kept an overall grade of 75. 

“I’ll get my scholarship.” Celegorm breathed, shocked, eyes on the report card. 

“Yup. And I’m getting into the police academy!” They laughed and hugged fiercely, and separated to get to their friends, and in Celegorm’s case, to his brother:

“Congratulations.” Caranthir said, sounding mildly shocked still. 

“Thanks.”

“I mean, I knew your study habits improved those last few months but I mean…” 

“That’s quite a leap between 80 ish and 97, yeah.” 

“So… You’ll… You’re going to insist on crossing dad, right?” 

“Yes, brother, I am.” 

Caranthir looked tense at that. 

Celegorm passed an arm around his shoulders as they started to walk to the school’s exit doors. 

“It’ll be fine, brother. Dad won’t throw me out, hm? I’m not dropping out of school, I’m getting a diploma. Just… not one he’d prefer.” 

Hopefully at least. Celegorm completed in the safety of his own mind. 

His brother nodded, the tension not disappearing from his frame as they walked home. 

Upon their arrival, Fëanor took the report card from Celegorm’s hands, not even reading it before he turned toward Caranthir: 

“Caranthir, take your siblings to Nelyo’s, please. Your brother is waiting for you, we’ll meet at a pizzeria later.” 

Caranthir hesitated, and looked at his brother, but really, what choice did he have? Celegorm pushed him softly and Caranthir moved, and took the car keys from the counter on which they rested. 

“Careful on the road.” Fëanor warned. 

The three of them, Nerdanel, Fëanor and Celegorm settled in the kitchen waiting for the 4 youngest of the family to depart. 

Once the car was gone, Celegorm leant against the counter, looking at his parents: 

“So, did you empty the house to be able to shout to your heart's content?” 

“No. I emptied the house in order to not give ideas to your siblings.” Fëanor corrected him. 

“Beg your pardon?” 

“Look, all I want is for my children to be happy. And the commitment you demonstrated these past months means that I’ll talk to you adult to adult.” 

‘Ominous,’ Celegorm thought briefly. 

“I’m not happy with the path you chose for yourself. It’s low pay, dangerous and undignified. You could do much better with your life.”

Celegorm opened his mouth to answer, eyes like storm clouds, but Fëanor raised his hand to stall him. 

“Let me finish.” 

Celegorm hesitated, but nodded at his father. If he had to scream his discontent, he wanted to know exactly why. 

“But the crux of the matter is that you’re an adult, and you’re your own being. I hate to admit that, but I have little to no control on how you want to lead your life. You showed your determination. You showed you could be serious about your future. You showed you researched your subject and weren’t afraid to work hard and make sacrifices for it.” 

Celegorm blinked. That wasn’t going quite the way he thought that this conversation would. 

“I’m not blind as to your and your brothers’ beliefs. But I never once abandoned one of my children. I however absolutely refuse to encourage you all to endanger your future. Maedhros’ choice to go into academia doesn’t fill me with joy, but he made his choice and I respect it. I helped him settle his house to his specifications since he was injured. Maglor’s… Decision to drop out of school made me scream in rage, as you well know…” 

“The neighbours called the cops on us with how much you were screaming, I think everyone in the street knows.” Celegorm snorted, unimpressed. 

“But alas, that son of mine is an artist. I married one, I’m not about to throw stones at my son for being an artist. I have never cut him off financially, he simply took his independence by earning his own money.” 

“I… I don’t understand.” 

“I made them promise not to tell you, and right now, I’ll also make you promise not to tell your brothers. If they want their freedom to choose their studies path, they need to show they can be mature and responsible about it. I know already that Caranthir is thinking of challenging me to go into business management. He is sensible enough to be able to do it. I’m just waiting for him to find his courage, because that sort of field will necessitate it.” 

“It’s a test…” 

Nerdanel nodded, not exactly happy but… 

“It is. I’m not the best father in the world, but you are my children, and I know all too well what it does to be left aside. I won’t do that to any of you. But you need to show you can live with your decisions.” 

“Oh. So… What now?” 

“Seeing that you were gone far too early in the morning already…” 

Celegorm smirked at that. He knew his habit of waking up at dawn or before dawn was giving kittens to the rest of his family but he couldn’t exactly help it and by now he found their reaction to it fun. 

“I called your school when it opened this morning. I already knew of your grades before you even took the path to school. So, first of all, congratulations. Second, I also already called your future university. Congratulations, you are in, this is confirmed. I paid your tuition in full, no need for that scholarship, it’ll go to a student who’ll need it. And there is no reason why you should leave home right now, since your university is still in the city.”

Celegorm couldn’t help himself and hugged his father who squeaked in surprise. 

“Right. Hm. So the money you earned these past few months, keep it and invest it or do whatever you want with it. I’ll keep funding you until the end of your studies. But as I said, don’t say anything to your siblings. They need to find their own path.” 

Celegorm bit his lips at that. 

“You know that Curufin will follow in your footsteps out of passion for your work and not out of… incertitude, right?” 

“I know. Out of 7, I have exactly ONE sensible child.” Fëanor muttered. 

Nerdanel snorted at that, disagreeing greatly on the matter. 

“That… Is debatable.” Celegorm coughed. 

“It’s very much not debatable. Now come, let’s go over the paperwork I filled to confirm your place at the university so you’re at least aware of it all before we meet your brothers for a celebratory lunch.”

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The meeting with his parents had been interesting. Lunch had been a chaotic, fun and interesting experience. But also pretty long. They gathered together at around 1pm and ended up leaving the pizzeria at nearly half past 4. 

But now, Celegorm wanted to talk to someone else. Someone who supported and talked to him as an adult instead of playing games. He was still keyed up and he… He didn’t know what to do with it all. 

That’s how Celegorm came to knock at the door of a quaint little house with an elegant entryway. 

He didn’t know if anyone would be there, it wasn’t yet 5pm, Oromë and Vána both might be at work. 

Predictably, no answer came. 

So Celegorm took the decision to see if the garden’s side door was unlocked… It was, so Celegorm entered the garden and decided to wait here, out of view of the street, hopefully in Nahar’s company. 

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When Oromë came back home, at quarter to 6, he was surprised when Vána immediately turned to him, grinning, and signed to him to both come to her and remain silent. He raised an eyebrow, wondering what got into her this time, or what Nahar had done this time, more probably, but did so… 

And he blinked at the scene he found in the garden. 

Their very young friend Celegorm was there, in their garden, sleeping against a very much also sleeping Nahar, directly on the floor, in the shade of their fruit trees. 

“How did he even…” Oromë whispered. 

“Shush, love, he’s welcome here and you know it.” Vána said, clearly having no time for his token protest. 

Oromë eyed her sideways at that: “Of course he’s welcome, I’m only questioning the fact he had our address.” 

“Your name isn’t that common, love. Finding you would be child play.” Vána pointed out if that was obvious. 

That was… Fairly true. 

While Oromë was pondering the situation, he saw Vána pull her phone out and point it at the sleeping duo. 

“Did you just take a photo of them?” 

“Of course I did. And I’m printing it and I’ll surprise Celegorm with it next time he comes. Also this is absolute proof that Tulkas is right and Nahar is actually a terrible guard dog!” She said smugly. 

Oromë rolled his eyes at that: 

“Nahar is an excellent guard dog only he knows Celegorm for we meet on the trails pretty often and he knows he’s… a friend. A young friend.” 

“Go and wake up the boys, I’ll prepare a tea. And coffee for the addicts, right love?” 

Oromë sighed at that. He was not an addict, thank you very much. He could stop anytime he wanted. He grimaced as that sentence did make him sound like an addict. He sighed again: it was just coffee, not some doubtful, illicit substance. 

He opened the glass door of the garden and that alone awoke Nahar who raised his head. And THAT is what woke up Celegorm. 

“Uh? Oh hi, Oromë.” 

“Hi Celegorm. Welcome to my home?” 

Celegorm blushed: 

“Uh… Sorry for that? I may have sort of… You know… Spoken of you to one of my brothers who’s a bit paranoid and he researched you and when I asked him he gave me your address?” 

“Why paranoid?” 

Celegorm sighed sadly: 

“Apparently everyone in the family thinks that going to the national park is suicidal. If you knew how often I hear the statistics of all the death and lost of the national park…”

Oromë snorted in amusement: 

“As I’m often reminded, our national park is the one holding the record for that. And wouldn’t you know, as soon as I said I met someone on the trail and that we exchanged phone numbers, they were convinced you were a psychopath.” 

“Seeking to lure you somewhere safe to do something unmentionable to you when we already met on the trail, somewhere without anyone close enough to hear or see anything?” 

“I never claimed my family made sense. Or my friends, come to think of it as I heard the same from Loscarmë. Uh. Friend since middle school. You know… Come to think of it, I think most people in my life believe I’ll be one day killed on the trail.” 

Oromë chuckled at that: 

“Vána’s gone to the kitchen to prepare tea and coffee.” 

Celegorm perked up at that: “Coffee?” 

“Don’t say it too hopefully, you’ll be called an addict before you know it.” Oromë warned him in a pouting voice. 

Celegorm cackled at that, well aware of the couple’s habit to tease each other to insanity. 

He and Nahar followed Oromë to the kitchen where they found Vána indeed preparing tea and coffee and a plate of snacks. 

“Hm. I uh… I came to talk to you. Hm… I hope I’m not bothering you? I mean, I can come back later, or we can… Meet on the trail or something instead. I… Didn’t think?” 

Oromë snorted at that: 

“You’re not bothering us. You just surprised us. If I had known I had company at home, I’d have come back a bit sooner instead of making a detour on my way home.” 

Celegorm shrugged at that: 

“I’m not in a hurry. I told dad I was meeting with friends and I told Loscarmë not to seek me out today so no one will be waiting for me.” 

“Oh?” 

“I sort of ran out of ways to tell him and tell the family that I’m meeting you on the trail pretty often and you aren’t a psychopath out of my blood or whatever it is they actually think. So just, you know, not telling them before I meet you also works.” 

“We met on the trail. If I had wanted to do anything to you I didn’t need to befriend you first.” 

“I know! But according to them I have apparently more probabilities to meet a psychopath on the trail than a normal person. Just ignore it, I certainly do. Dad’s been on a doom and gloom prediction over my no doubt tragic fate since I discovered I could come wander the national park on my own when I was 10ish.” 

“Excuse-you. Did you say you were coming to the park, alone at 10?” 

“Hm… Nah. I stayed by the entrance at that time. I started to wander the park proper at 12, not 10. But 10 is when I discovered I could come and enjoy sunny days climbing trees behind the ranger station.” 

Oromë looked at him flatly: 

“Let me reformulate. Why were you alone to wander the city at 10?” 

“… Because mom and dad are workaholics who popped 7 children, never stopped working and trusted their two eldest and a bunch of successive au pairs to keep track of us all. Not to be blunt but Nelyo’s 6 years older than me, at 16 he had high-school to panic about, and mom and dad did hire an au pair or several while we were growing up but again, there were 7 of us. My brothers are all mostly more indoor people than outdoor people but a single person can hardly be asked to keep efficiently track of 7 children of various ages. More so when they’re the same age than the oldest and infatuated by him and more likely to be found trying and failing to seduce his homosexual ass than to care for us kids.” 

Oromë pinched the bridge of his nose at that. 

“That explains much actually.” Vána commented. 

“Oh?” 

“You treat the national park like it’s your backyard. I’m not going to lie, my husband is there as often as you only because he’s a hunter, has a high energy dog that must go for a walk at least 3h a day and is a professional firefighter so needs to stay fit. No one else we know is in that park as much as you if they’re not paid to do so. But if you found comfort there while being ignored at home growing up… Well…” 

“I was not ignored at home. I slipped away unnoticed when home was too crowded and noisy for me but had the parents on my case whenever they caught me, and that was pretty often.” 

“Agree to disagree, but it’s over and done with, Vána.” Oromë intervened firmly. 

“Anyway, so yeah, I get pretty much daily predictions that the national park will be my death one day and I’ll cross paths with a psychopath out for blood and I’ll just disappear and no one will ever find me again, leaving the grieving family behind to wonder forever and ever what happened to me.” 

“… Cheerful.” Oromë commented flatly. 

“Isn’t it? Note that it doesn’t stop me from going there anyway.” 

“And so your family knows about Vána and me?” 

“Hm… about you and Nahar actually. Hm… Sorry Vána?” 

Vána looked amused at that. Of course he’d speak of the dog but not of her. Flattering. 

“So, to what do we owe the pleasure of your presence?” Oromë asked with a fond smile. 

“Several subjects… I just… I got my finals results. 97/100. I passed with honours. I’m glad about that.” 

“Congratulations!” Vána exclaimed. 

“Thank you. And… Well. I talked with dad. And… It was all a test. According to him we need to show we can be independent and stubborn and serious and ready to make sacrifices to become what we want so all his threats and promises to not pay for further schooling were just empty threats basically. All a stupid game…” 

“That… Alright, aside from the fact I find that disgraceful from a father to play that sort of game, you sound bothered. Isn’t it good news?” Oromë asked cautiously. 

“I had plans. Plans to find a job, find an apart. I sorted out my belongings so I could even move fast if need be. And now I know I know that I can stay at home, all expenses paid and I find that I have no idea what to do with myself. Of course I’ll study but…” 

“But you planned for being busy at the limit of your abilities once in university, and now you find yourself at lose ends.” 

“Yeah, pretty much.” 

“And what do you want to do with that?” 

“I hated the job I had until June, don’t get me wrong. If I never again have to work in a shop, it’ll still be too soon.” 

Vána, who owned a flower shop where she took turn with a single other employee at the counter, laughed lightly at that, amused at his dramatics. 

“But?” 

“But there was a sense of freedom in having my own job.” 

“Then why don’t you find another job?” 

“I’m lucky enough to be able to go through university without worrying about money or food or whatnot. Oromë, why can’t I just be happy about that and just… Enjoy that?” 

“Because your father’s little game was distasteful and you’ve lived since before I met you in march with the fear of ending in the street with nothing to your name. Trust once broken is hard to regain, and I don’t doubt that somewhere within your mind that little insidious ‘what if that too is a game’ is here and making itself known.” Oromë said flatly. 

Celegorm fell silent at that. 

“I really don’t want to go back to work in that shop.” Celegorm whispered mulishly. 

“If it can help, we’re always looking for volunteer firefighters. You’re not really gaining a standard salary but every hour you’re on the clock you’re compensated for it.” 

“Call me stupid but isn’t that how it usually works? You work you get paid, you don’t work…” 

“It’s more of a ‘per call’ thing. You’re not paid for the time you train at the station for example.” 

“Ah. Yeah. Ok. Tell me more?” Celegorm asked curious. 

Vána smiled, listening as Oromë explained to Celegorm what volunteer firefighter did and how necessary they were and… 

Celegorm, may be, or may not be interested, Vána didn't know, but he was watching her husband like he was holding all the answers of the universe.

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