This was an interesting beginning; I look forward to reading what you do here. the potential for political and moral (or however Elves think of it) exploration is great in a story such as this. 

Thus far, I thought your representation of Melkor and the other Valar was effective and realistic. Melkor's hatred of the Children, for one, was well put. The writing and style seemed in keeping with Tolkien's own work, though there was a distinct personal element that I found to be refreshing.

Overall, an intriguing start!

Very nice. I think you do an excellent job in expanding upon a story that has already been told. It works very well and makes for an interesting reading experience.

I liked this personal and private look at the Valar communicating with one another. It was unique, yet plausible, and overall I thought it really helped to give depth to the narrative.

Your tale brings to life one of the most interesting epasodes in the SIlm I think. Your usage of Melkor's perspective also has an interesting feel to it and I think it a good tale overall.