No One by Dawn Felagund

Oh, Dawn. This is stunning, if painful to read. This is not a happy story! There's no part of it that can be read as "before things turned bad!" It is interesting to see how she relates his suffering to her own, however, her empathy can only reach so far, because she always felt loved, even in periods of sorrow and despair. He really gets a raw deal in canon--his mother spoils him rotten and then his dad tries to kill him, and knocks off Aredhel in the process!

I appreciate your insights into Turgon's need for certain types of order and calmness in his surroundings to offset the chaos of the Finwean family struggles back in Tirion and after.

Fork on the right, knife on the left! I certainly had that drilled into as a kid. I was first mildly appalled when I discovered it was not a universal convention! Ha! Well, then, I've certainly lived with enough cultural differences as an adult to take most of them with a grain of salt.

I call what he did with the meat a "Goldilocks" when Alex does it. When he is in a bad mood, everything is too hot or too cold, too rare or too well-done! As the chief cook, it drives me wild.

Eöl sound like a meanie in this story, but one wonders how much of that was due to family strife back in the shadows. Poor Maeglin. I always want to write a bit of a redemptive arc for him and/or his dad. Pretty difficult though not impossible.

Shame on Itarillë for digging around in his psyche uninvited. According to my kids that is one of my flaws--although I do not have any Eldarin extra-special skills just a very particular type of hyper-alterness to people I care about. She means well.

I discovered that both Idril and Maeglin were able to perceive the thoughts of others. It's amusing to imagine them spying on each other's thoughts.

Ha! Yes. I love that part--dueling mindreaders!

I was largely inspired by my work with childhood trauma survivors

I should have guessed, knowing your work-life! Well, you presented it very effectively.

what a horror story... all that blood, ew... 

poor Maeglin, cursèd indeed. you painted such a vivid picture of him that i dislike him already. 

oddly, your writing, and the story, both came to life at the entrance of Turgon, maybe you got into the flow ? of course, once you got going it was visceral and engrossing, and reminded me of my own grim childhood. er, thanks...

i'm intrigued by the reappearance of the little girl skipping across the rocks by the nasty sea. *looks over pince-nez* tell me about your father...

I really found this intriguing. I have a tendency to not read or write much fic about this branch of the family--not sure why. Perhaps because I am still finding so much that is entrancing about the Fëanorions so I stick to them! But Aredhel and Fingon always drew me more than Turgon--he just seemed too regimented. But I recently write a fic focusing solely on him and it changed my opinion. I think he gets overlooked a bit by the fandom. I think he had as much trauma and misery as many of the other characters and was similarly plagued by decisions going wrong and choices being detrimental.

i was drawn to your Turgon here--he always seems softer to me when Idril is in the narrative. I saw some of the same somewhat regimented traits here that I identify with him but blunted a bit. It really spoke to me that he was able to bend some of those self imposed"rules" for Maeglin. Turgon is really trying here--it's obvious he is attempting to reach out to this traumatized, unfamiliar, reticent youngster. 

Idril and her mathematical and structural interests worked for me. I liked how you showed us how her mind works and the descriptions that came from her were rich with intricate detail. She is able to see the brilliance in Maeglin, even if his outward appearance/attitude is awkward or off putting. Her ability to delve into his thoughts, though a bit presumptuous of her, really deepens her characterization here--especially in  her interpretations. 

Maeglin really came off as wary, yet in some ways yearning for something he sees but doesn't quite understand/connect/feel he is part of. His hangnail chewing is such an evocative nervous tic--both to show his anxiety but also a visual and visceral image with the blood and flesh that hearkens to a form of self-harm. There is no doubt he harbors guilt/pain/regret over what has occurred with his parents but he has not truly ever been free to share those feelings. The seen and not heard comment from Eol makes me think Maeglin's default is to internalize so much. Which makes Idril's delving into his thoughts likely even more confusing and discomforting for him. 

How hard it is to unpick emotions once they have snarled up as badly as this.

Maeglin has so much going for him, but also so much against him, despite Turgon's and Idril's best efforts. And it is clear they are trying hard, but also that it doesn't come entirely natural to them, at least in some ways, and that Maeglin picks up those clues and overlooks the rest. It is only three months in. There were, perhaps, many moments to follow when he almost succeeded in pulling out, but backed away from hope again.

And of course there is that poisoned javelin, which has not succeeded in killing Maeglin, but in poisoning his mind. (I do understand the motivations of people who want to redeem or humanize Eol, but I think that, if one tries, that moment when he tries to kill his son really does have to be confronted, not just skated around, unless of course one is writing a complete AU.)

Idril has her own tragedy and the story how she pulled out of it is moving. I also like the suggestion that she originally took up stone-delving as a Sindarin inspiration, influenced by stories of Menegroth.

Oof, where to start! This is such an intricate and layered piece that I'm not sure I can sort my thoughts. OK, let's try.
You managed to make all the characters sympathetic (and since neither Turgon nor Maeglin are high on my favourite character list, that's a feat). Even as I gritted my teeth at Maeglin's foot-twitching and inferiority complex, I felt for him because of the glimpses you gave us into his backstory, explaining how he got there. At the same time, I sympathised with Idril (and I love that she's a mathematician and structural designer! We see too few of these even among the Noldor!), who understands Maeglin's difficulties and doesn't want to nag him, but also feels genuinely annoyed by his tapping and his needy personality and the constant shadow of the past and his watery eyes - this is how it goes, isn't it? For all our attempts to be understanding and tolerant, at some point the tiniest and most absurd details suddenly become big issues.
The most intriguing part, for me, was your reasoning behind Turgon's policies of isolation and strict regimes and civility and politeness. Once more, his willingness to overlook Maeglin's flouts of his beloved rules shows how hard he tries to make Maeglin feel comfortable. There's a certain hint of tragedy behind the parallels to the behaviour among the Feanorians that Idril observes, and Maeglin's actually Feanorian traits (like the obsession with his work and the immense talent he's got for it), already foreshadowing the bitter end. Tragic, too, that Maeglin only sees rejection, not the many offers of friendship made to him (but then, he probably feels that some of them are a bit forced, too). It makes this snippet from life in Gondolin very uncomfortable, but also as if we're looking at real people. Excellent job as always.

Oh that delicate situation when you recognise someone else's reasons for behaving in ways you do not like, but still can't help being annoyed by them! Everyone is beiing as careful as they are able, but still manages to step on a lot of sore points.

I love how the backstories show Idril coming out of her grief in a way we (with our terrible foreknowledge) Maeglin will not. This is an incredible dense piece with so many layers - I'm in awe of your ability to juggle them all and draw us in. Even with characters that do not interest me so very much.

(also, love how Idril is delving into the mountains! That will become useful later...)

I love this. I feel so sorry for Maeglin and Idril's discomfort and everyone tiptoeing around the others and so many layers and complications and foreknowledge of what will happen.