Comments on The Captain and the King

The Silmarillion Writers' Guild is more than just an archive--we are a community! If you enjoy a fanwork or enjoy a creator's work, please consider letting them know in a comment.

I reviewed this on AO3 but when I got the alert I thought I'd pop over here and sing its praises again. You have a great hook here with Gil-galad being given a surprise assignment to meet the heir to the throne of Numenor. "Just start with a physical description, Cirdan. Oh, he's tall and blond? Well you just want me to babysit then while you talk to his grandfather. Oh, he's smart, educated, experienced. He will probably just be boring then or find me boring. He asked for me? Well, I guess I can sacrifice some of my valuable time to meet a tall, blond, smart, curious, captain and prince that has a burning curiousity about me." *big sly aggravating grin*

You have the reader as curious about this kid as Gil is.



Ha! Thanks. I cannot believe you summed it up in so few words. OMG! I can never properly convey how much you helped me start and finish this one. I thought this would be a nice and easy thing to write after a lot of hard work with lots of research over the last year or more and then my world exploded in my face (again). Thank you with all my heart.

First, I love the quote that starts this chapter, the olde Aldarion looking back with nostalgia and wistfulness at his youth, when this story takes place. Even without knowing how this will play out it still tugs the heartstrings.

 

Then this: "As Gil-galad might have known to expect—nothing was ever simple". Like signing up for a swap? Nailed it!


I love how Gil has to wait that extra day before the ship arrives, building anticipation. Then there is your description of the ship and its sailors that just pops right off the page with detail, even down to the sailors shrugging off their jackets in the heat. You capture the bustle and excitement of the seaport perfectly only to give us that more quiet moment when they actually meet. Brilliant. And of course Aldarion is awesome, licking grease off his fingers - oof! A teasingly sensual image.

 

Lovely interactions as they go back to the palace, falling into an easy and natural conversation. I love Aldarion's observations about the Elvish cultural influences in his homeland (diferent but the same) which leads to a conversation about the Valar and Gil's kingdom and philosophy. This is how to do exposition without just drily stating information.

 

Then there's the process of feeling each other out, verbally. They both want something from the other but neither wants to be the first play his hand, a necessary plot point and a metaphor for their unspoken mutual attraction. Their walk in the moonlit garden is not cloyingly romantic but is instead a place to relax, be alone together, and socialize on a more intimate level. Perfect pacing and build up.



You make me sound so smart in this review! Very few of those things are as conscious as you make them sound above--most are instinct. I do believe that one learns from reading good books more than pulling out a list of things one should do or not do to make a story work. But love your breakdown. So flattering!

I spent a lot of time thinking about the elements of the story before I can write a couple hundred words or so. I do not make notes, but I do not think on my feet or at the keyboard either. My first ideas come when I am falling asleep at night. But that you this time around of joining me in getting a start. Our tag team effort really worked for me. We should do that every time we want to get something started and get it done! 

This is the chapter where Carvor is introduced, one of the most fun OCs ever written! I love this little guy, who knows everything that's going on, just what anyone needs at any given moment, and can even help one choose the best outfit to perform the double duty of attracting Gil and meeting Galadriel. We all need someone like this in our life.

 

Love the big breakfast spread where Galadriel manages to wolf down a hefty portion before getting everyone else talking until their food gets cold. lol I also love the bit where she sneaks into Aldarion's mind, and the description of how that hits him.

 

Aldarion gamely stands up to their grilling, making him even more adorable, and the banter between everyone here is a hoot. I especially like Erestor's "sob story". The walk by the sea with Aldarion and Erestor having a little bonding moment and Erestor offering his advice is a good set up for what's to come.



Oh! Thanks again! I really got into the way that Galadriel could try to take over an impriomtu meeting but was not entirely successful because these people have all fallen into that trap before! I loved them all and that is probably what you sensing in this chapter.

I definitely need a Carvor in my life, especially in my dotage when my executive functioning is just not what it used to be!

You are a terrific audience! Just when I feel like I could be losing it you make me feel like there is some of it left!

So glad you noticed the blink-and-you-miss-it scene with Erestor.

The description of this cozy sitting room with its fire, variety of spirits, and enormous ham sandwiches is perfect for this weather. Wish I was there! I love when Carvor pops in out of nowhere to take care of them. He really deserves a story of his own.

 

The teasing interplay between Gil and Aldarion lends just the right counterpoint to the talk of trees and ships and Galadriel's clallenges. Glorfindel gets His chance to shine with his teasing and stage villain shenanigans too. It reminds me of pleasant times when a family gets together and some new, unsuspecting friend gets thrown into the mix without knowing what they're up against but just sort of immediately fits in. It amazes me how your writing brings out these types of scenarios and emotions in such an effortlessly realistic way.



I wish I had that room with a fireplace. My parents' house had three! And a furnace that heated the ancient place so that every corner, however remote was warm! Probably why I wanted to write that room--it has been cold and drafty in this apt. for a couple of weeks. Hope you are surviving the Texas cold spell complete with blackouts!

This what I think of as the family scene. So happy it resonnated with you in that way!

You are so kind with all of these lovely comments. Thank you!

And finally Gil gets up the courage to come to Aldarion's room and this is just the sweetest, loveliest scene between them. Aldarion's lack of real experience and Gil's *ahem* mentorship is charming. They are so good together that it almost becomes bittersweet when he lays out their future paths. But at the same time, one doesn't feel the sting of parting because of, well, heartsease, which is perfect and ties this story up in a heart shaped bow.

 

This is a perfect winter's tale, Valentine tale, and character driven tale all rolled into one and it was a privilege to watch you bring it to life during a most difficult time. Thank you for allowing me to be part of the process and congratulations on another sumptuous, beautifully crafted story. You're the best!