Comments on Journeys

The Silmarillion Writers' Guild is more than just an archive--we are a community! If you enjoy a fanwork or enjoy a creator's work, please consider letting them know in a comment.

I'm happy to see another chapter of this unique story- there are not many around describing the life of Canafinwë in the Fourth Age, and even less portraying him meeting someone we know from the LotR. A very original topic, and well-researched, as can be seen from the end-notes. I'd love to see this continue.

However, I believe the story would benefit from a little more proofreading; the long structures and absence of punctuation in places aren't easy to read through, at least for me (and I am a fan of quite a few archaic fanfics!).

A suggestion- reference to the War of Jewels might be dropped into the elessar footnote, showing the Green Stone is actually an idea of JRRT himself?

take care,

Nólemë



Thank you very much for your review (and of course for sticking with the story!)! Hopefully this fic shall continue, I certainly intend to continue it as it has been my pet project for a very long time. I have a basic story structure planned but from here on out I don't have any further drafts written so I'll be working from some very old notes. As a result I don't know how long I'll take, I'm not a particularly fast writer.

I definitely agree with you on the proofreading side of things! My erstwhile beta reader is myself (and whomever I'm living with at the time of finishing a chapter) and so of course I don't always catch the problems with the text. I tend to catch a lot but of course, as you have seen, not all. Out of curiousity are the early chapters worse for this grammar masacre or the later ones? Earlier ones do most certainly need to be altered a great deal, (they make me cringe to be honest) but I'm trying to wait until I've finished this half of the story before taking the axe to the sentence structures etc.

And thank you very much for the reference suggestion! I hadn't realised that I had left it out in fact (rereading the end notes I can of course see that I did), so when I go to post the next chapter (whenever that shall be....) I'll alter it then since I think there's also an earlier mention of the stone which is where I found Maedhros mentioned, this may of course be in War of the Jewels but unfortunately I don't have my copies of HoMe with me.

All the best,

Aria