Blossoms Appearing in the Land, Green Figs Forming on the Trees by janeways

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Fanwork Notes

TL;DR warnings: It's about sex but not sexy. Vague allusions to sexual acts but no explicit depictions.

As the granddaughter of a fairly prolific and successful romance novelist, I have seen quite a few bodice-rippers from the golden age of romance novels with truly extraordinary covers: the inspiration for my take on this challenge. (You can view a couple examples of what I mean here and here.)

I've also wanted, for a long time, to see more honest representations of sex in fanfic (and media in general). That of course serves a different purpose than titillation! But unsexy depictions of sex also serve a purpose.

This triple drabble, a subversion of the bodice-ripper/smutfic genre(s), is my attempt at killing both these inspirational birds with one stone-fic.

A note of explanation: Somewhere (probably LaCE, where all Cursed Elf Sex Facts come from) Tolkien says that elvish reproduction involves magically deciding to get pregnant before/during sex. Or something like that. (He also shared many other Cursed Elf Sex Facts that I am either ignoring either on purpose or because I forgot them, but either way I don't care.) Anyways, that is the understanding of producing children Caranthir is working under.

Fanwork Information

Summary:

The blossoms have appeared in the land / The time of pruning has come / The song of the turtledove / Is heard in our land

The green figs form on the fig tree / The vines in blossom give off fragrance / Arise, my darling / My fair one, come away!

- Song of Songs 2:12-3

Haleth and Caranthir attempt to make love and discover they don't know much about making babies.

My attempt at subverting the bodice-ripper; a triple drabble.

Major Characters: Caranthir, Haleth

Major Relationships: Caranthir/Haleth

Artwork Type: No artwork type listed

Genre: Fixed-Length Ficlet, Humor, Romance

Challenges: Book by Its Cover

Rating: Teens

Warnings: Sexual Content (Mild)
Chapters: 1 Word Count: 316
Posted on 5 June 2021 Updated on 5 June 2021

This fanwork is complete.

Table of Contents

Chapter 1

Comments

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I was very amused by these problems with cross-cultural communication!

(And I was also reminded of Aliana's Bad Sex challenge on Livejournal some years ago. Although this isn't bad sex, of course. It's fine!)

This is SO funny, the final bedazzled "what?" from Caranthir is so bemusing. The poor dude just doesn't get it! It's absolutely a hilarious trope when you take interspecies couple into consideration. Delightful.