Comments on Penance

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pardon me while I bark like a seal and squee madly. So so awesome "squee!" The tension and the banter between Elendil and Nemir are priceless. I loved how you fit in the erefences to Sacrifice in this because that was such a powerful story too and one that I still love and remains on my favorites. I was also personally tickled by Nemir's distaste for Anarion and his wish to get under his skin. Great stuff, Steel!

Thanks, Roisin - this was one of those places where Pandë and I cross-pollinated a fair bit. I thought her surgeon Brethilion was a fantastic character, she opined that Brethilion and my Serindë should meet. I wrote them meeting and had Serindë wonder if his white streak was from a scalp laceration, which she thought was a fabulous idea, and then I casually threw out the notion that Nemir could stitch up Brethilion. Add a bit more heretical behind the scenes yammering, shake, and serve in a chilled glass. ;)

I'm glad you enjoyed this!

Excellently complicated politics! I love Nemir's frustration with... just about everything, really. His views on Elrond creased me up :D

A black land. Black lungs, black bowels, black moods, and the damn black flies.

It's a thoroughly believable piece on the effect of Mordor on combatants. And you still manage to get all that humour in there!

And bonus points for finding one of the few things that 'squicks' me. Cochliomyia hominivorax. *Shudder*



I just figure that not everyone would've thought that Elrond was a fabulous guy. Some people might well have found him to be damned obnoxious. ;) And the rest - well, you have several different people calling themselves 'kings' and a siege that took seven years in the close vicinity of an active volcano. It just stood to reason, IMO, that the politics would be complicated at best and that there'd be all sorts of nasty physical effects on the combatants - likely on both sides.

I should ask Pandemonium what sort of filters the DM uses to keep the air in Barad-dur reasonably breathable. ;)

I'm glad you enjoyed!

Thanks so much, Elfscribe - I do strive to make my characters as 'real' as I can, so I find it really flattering that they come across that way. I'll also confess to having a bit of a heretical bent and wondering if everyone was really happy to see Elendil and sons show up in Middle-earth, and if everyone in the various armies in the Last Alliance were really that happy with their leaders - and for that matter, what Umbar's side of the whole multiple centuries of war with Gondor story might read like, for that matter.

Thanks again!

Hi Steel,

I thought I'd leave my MEFA review here.  Best wishes,

~elfscribe

SurgicalSteel not only writes beautifully, but uses her medical background to enhance her stories, giving them an enviable verisimilitude. This story is from the point of view of the healer Nemir, trying to deal with the effects of the difficult environmental conditions during the Last Alliance's siege of Mordor. I had not thought about the problems engendered by breathing the black volcanic ash, but it makes sense that it would cause black-lung. I enjoyed Steel's characterization of Nemir as an opinionated doctor disgusted with his superiors' unwillingness to take simple precautions that would ameliorate the effects of the ash. The details of examining the body made me feel as if I were in the tent with him. I got a smile out of Nemir's irreverent descriptions of his leaders: Anarion as [that blond blowhard] and Isildur as [black-haired father of Zamin's bastards], and his insolent "title" for Elendil, "Majesticness." Underneath his crustiness, though, we have a portrait of a dedicated doctor, devoted to healing others, since he could go home if he chose. Great exchange with Brethilion, the elf coming in with the scalp wound. And of course, the detailed medical descriptions are marvelous additions. In addition, I enjoyed her use of language: [Black land, black lungs, black stools, black moods] The repetition is effective here. It was great to see this epic battle through a fresh pair of eyes.