Comments on Touch of a Vanished Hand

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Ooooh... very good! *** Spoilers *** The opening desolation brought by the wave was something I had never considered. The first contact between Elrond and his brother's descendants was most realistic, with mistrust and miscommunication. And the "touch" through the Palantir was beautifully done to tilt the scales. A truly beautiful story.. 

 

 



Thanks so much Russandol.  I can't help but think this would have been the situation when Elendil and the Numenoreans first showed up asking for help from Gil-galad, unless they were communicating ahead of time which is canonically possible and could merit a different story in which they are welcomed with open arms.   *g*  So glad you enjoyed it.  And I'm now back to working on Elegy!

This is absolutely fabulous. More than up to your usual standards. The tsunami following Numenor was something that had occurred to me, but I had not the imagination to follow up on it. I adored the characterization and flow of the story. The tone and description perfect as usual. It hit it out of the ballpark. You are so consistent! Congratulations on another terrific story!

I don't think I've ever read a story that so accurately describes how it feels to be abandonded by someone you love and thought loved you.  To have it come from a twin, one you've survived so much with?  Ugh.  Elrond's reactions are exactly what I'd think, given how young he was and how tumultuous his life had been.  He's not the serene elf-lord we see in LotR.  And the tsunami was perfect.  All that destruction.  It's heart-breaking.  I love the bird too!  It kind of reflected that Elrond still had hope, even if he was bitter and heart-broken still.  Loved the brothers and Elros' last gift to his brother.  Elendil was wonderful, dignified, confounded and confronted by what his people would think of as legend.  He handled it so well!  I really enjoyed your take on him.  I know this is an old story but it was new to me.  So well done!



Glad to hear that you felt the emotions rang true in this story.  There have, of course, been many fannish views of Elrond and Elros' choice, but I hadn't seen any that showed the long-term effect on Elrond (although I'm sure they're out there).  I did view his personality differently here than is often portrayed, but I like to think this incident helped him work through his grief and become more seasoned and thoughtful as a result. The skylark as a symbol wasn't planned but rather something that just happened in the writing process; I'm glad it worked out well. I like your take on it that it showed Elrond still had hope. Thank you so much for such lovely comments.  As you know, it's always a boost to get a review, especially one as thoughtful as this, even long after a story has been published.  :-D

This was a feast for the senses and the mind! The way you construct the characters and the parallel relationships between Elrond and Elros and between Elrond and Elendil is wonderful, but I am sucker for evocative description and this has so much. And not just for the sake of describing - it all contributes to the mood of the piece. 

Especially love the ways you describe sound, e.g.: “pulling his sword with a snarl of steel.” “The cries of gulls and soft shush of waves sounded in the distance”. It's subtle, but the way you use language in these descriptions feels fresh and innovative.

And smell:  “Elrond could smell the lemony musk of him, familiar from the many nights when they were children lying close, wrapped in each others' embrace, knowing that together they were invincible.”  Recognising the scent of someone long gone and the way that makes memory so immediate. The way you've described its emotional impact on Elrond is masterful. Then how he recalls this later in the vision sequence!

I am in love with this description of the (half-)elven relationship with time: “He paused, aware of the transience of that moment, one pinprick in the vastness of time. Yet it weighed heavily. When they had eternity to live, what did one moment matter? Now time appeared as an enemy, striding armored from the mist.”

And while it's not a central relationship in this story, this moment of insight into Elrond's relationship (or lack thereof) with Eärendil is so moving: "For a long time, he stood immobile, listening to the waves strive and hiss.  Stars wheeled overhead, cold, implacable in their black vault.  He saw his father sailing aloft, the white gem burning on his brow, remote, inaccessible. Did Eärendil regret his choice?  Did he wonder what had happened to his sons? If they were safe?  If they were happy?  Collapsing onto his knees, he folded over, wracked with sobs. His face pressed into the cold sand, forming there a mask of anguish.”

Having recently tackled the writing of visions/dreams and how to make something so abstract an impactful contribution to the relationships and plot, I have extra appreciation for how you did this. It is a perfect climactic moment to the story and Elrond's transformation because of it makes absolute sense.

Very glad to have read this! Thank you for submitting it for the bookclub. 

Hi polutropos, I finally have a minute while the turkey is roasting and just want to thank you so much for such a generous comment. I do try to imagine my scenes fully, including smells, sounds, tastes, etc. It helps me to try to visualize my settings, something that doesn't come naturally to me.  I've always been intrigued by how evocative music and sound can be. Something you do well in your stories. You've picked out some of my fav passages too, as sad and angsty as they are. The vision Elrond has in the palantir, as you say, was important in fully convincing him to embrace his distant kinsman, and in that way embrace and honor his brother.  Thanks again for your lovely feedback!