The Song of Skateboard Legolas by Anne Wolfe  

Across the ages there's an elf

In every realm or commonwealth

The only thing he lacks is stealth

(But seems to be in quite good health)

Refrain:

He flouts all laws of space and time

No thought for reason or for rhyme

Unto himself a paradigm

Skateboard Legolas!



In Gondolin his tale began

Then left with Idril's caravan

In Mirkwood then he lived a span

Then saved the world! (That was his plan.)

[Refrain]

[Magnificent electric guitar solo]

So when you think you need his aid

And danger it will not abate

Upon the ramparts! There he shades

Thee from the sun, and unafraid

Disdains the foemen's cannonade

And once the field he has surveyed--



[In the cadence of a sports announcer]

He'll ride into the thick of it! Bobbing and weaving, twisting and turning, until no one can tell which way to look or shout-- and what are they doing-- they're beating their swords into skateboards! And some of them around the edges are making roller skates, I'm not sure why-- but no one, no one can rival the true star of the show! Here he is, coming down the west flank, pulling backside spins all the way-- it's Skateboard Legolas!!!

[Refrain x2]

Skateboard Legolas!

Skateboard Legolas!

Chapter End Notes

My profuse apologies for all the half-rhymes.

(A long-shot, I know, but please get in touch with me if you want to record a cover of this! I'd be delighted.)

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