Comments on Unlikely Bedfellows

The Silmarillion Writers' Guild is more than just an archive--we are a community! If you enjoy a fanwork or enjoy a creator's work, please consider letting them know in a comment.

elennalore has requested the following types of constructive criticism on this fanwork: Characterization, Conflict, Mood/Tone, Plot, Style, Worldbuilding. All constructive criticism must follow our diplomacy guidelines.

I loved the use of first person here! I also think you carried the victorian language well through the piece; it's not a tone that's frequently used in Tolkien-fic but it works surprisingly well. And then it became witch-queen Tar-Míriel. I really liked at the end how she requested a different form; an interesting response from someone who had had her gender used against her before.

Thank you for reading and commenting! I took the first person POV from the prompt text, but I agree that it works well here, as well as the general tone inspired by the prompt. When I started to write this, I had no idea that she would become the Witch-queen (king), but that plot idea appeared in the process of writing, and I found myself liking it.

I found myself liking Míriel in this story and the voice in which it is told.

I am proud to admit that I made a Maia come that night. -- I love that she's proud of that.

I think it is very understandable that she's worried about getting pregnant, even if she hasn't had her period in a while.

I like how you fitted in her running up the mountain as something Mairon told her to do and how she wants to have the body of a man afterwards, because it's the men that have power. Also that Mairon had intended the Ring for Ar-Pharazon but changed his mind.

I have read fics in which Miriel was the Witch King before and I found this an unusual and interesting take on the idea!

I was really struck by Miriel's voice in this story, especially.

Oh I love this. The voice of Tar-Miriel is excellent and the sort of factual way she goes through what happened, like making a record of it. A fascinating exploration of Sauron's time in Numenor--and Witch King Tar-Miriel is fantastic.