Comments on The Binds of Death have been Unwound

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chrissystriped has requested the following types of constructive criticism on this fanwork: Setting, Spelling, Grammar, and Mechanics. All constructive criticism must follow our diplomacy guidelines.

This was very good. I enjoyed how the different parts of the story were linked together, but I especially loved the last part. The moment when he started to tell his story to Finrod, and the story was cleverly linked to the beginning. It was very emotional story, and heartbreaking. Great use of the prompt!

That's a really interesting back story for that wolf.

And how terrifying to think of that development, for someone who was an elf originally!

A good thing that Finrod intervened, and after that Namo.

Thank you! I was remembering that line where Tolkien says that the werewolves were spirits imprisoned in wolf shapes and was thinking that not all of those spirits might have been unwilling, if that meant they'd have a body. He's been going down a dark road for a very long time. Finrod decided very quickly he couldn't just leave him behind when he realised he was an elf once and he doesn't regret it, even after he's heard the whole story. Namo, I think, would accept anyone in his halls who comes to him and be just -- if and when they can leave again, is another matter.

Oh wow, what a concept!

Something that is so very real, how an early emotional wound that one is not fully aware of can drive one to committing acts that are against one's nature, and when those misguided attempts fail to assuage the hurt, more and more damaging actions are tried, until one becomes vulnerable emotional prey, loathing oneself, losing oneself, yet unable to stop oneself. An origin story of addiction, come to think of it — and (thank you!) redemption.

It's so in line with Finrod's character, at least the way I view him.

Lovely, thank you!

Thank you for this incredibly insightful comment!

The whole story kind of sneaked up on me (which is fitting with him being a wolf), revealing only bit by bit what was going on and who he was.

I had a really bleak ending in mind, but Finrod had other ideas. I think he's a very understanding person and someone who'd give everyone a second chance who asked.

I'm glad you like the name! Elfdict gives both 'white' and 'cold' as translations for ninque and I liked that double meaning for him and the rabbit in contrast to what he would become.

And thank you so much for the corrections! (English comma rules are my bane and life/live is something I know how to use in theory but seem always to forget to apply.) I rephrased some sentences and hope it's clearer now.

The only thing I left is 'fea' because that's a concious decision. I don't use the diaeresis on principle, because in german (my native language) ä and ö are differently pronounced than a and o. Pronouncing names like Eärendil or Eönwë the way Tolkien intended them to be pronounced, threatens to break my brain because it insists on reading them in german ;-).

Oh! I like how Ninquelopo now waits with bated breath... the poor elf must be beside himself with nervousness!

Ah, yes, Cold White Rabbit is an even better name for a hot blooded dark wolf. Ai, poor Ninquelopo, it's going to be a long road to recovery.

That's interesting about the pronunciation of the diaeresis in German, I learn something new! But please don't let it break your brain, I like what it makes!

The story of how he came to be a wolf - refusing the call to Mandos - is fascinating. Finrod, of course, is as wonderful as usual - showing both empathy and forgiveness (something Uncle Fëanor needed to learn really).