Comments on Pack the Parcel

The Silmarillion Writers' Guild is more than just an archive--we are a community! If you enjoy a fanwork or enjoy a creator's work, please consider letting them know in a comment.

daughterofshadows and Idrils Scribe, and Grundy has requested the following types of constructive criticism on this fanwork: Characterization, Conflict, Description/Imagery, Mood/Tone, Organization/Structure, Pacing, Plot, Point of View, Research, Sensitivity Read, Setting, Spelling, Grammar, and Mechanics, Style, Worldbuilding. All constructive criticism must follow our diplomacy guidelines.

What a lovely woodland scene! 

Except for the foreshadowing, of course!

With the Children of Hurin, that can never be far away.

Even though young Turin is so cheerful and open here.

 

Thank you for filling my wish with the prompt fill!

I also learned something here: I did not know about woods-poppy and it's so nice to think of these growing somewhere in Doriath!

A sunny view indeed. Enjoy it while you can, little Túrin!

(And I'd never heard of the yellow wood poppies so I did a search—how absolutely gorgeous! I can see them as a field of sunlight lying on the forest floor, back in the virgin days before Men mucked around with the environment.) 

 

I like the way you contrast their differing experiences of the same place, Nellas' grief for her lost beeches being expressed as loathing of the wild sea and too-bright sun, while Elwing is delighted and excited with the beach, and being able to speak with these new birds too. And with that unconscious magical ability little people have, she pulls Nellas with her into her mood. We get so caught up in the Matters of Great Import that we forget life is also made up of little moments like these.

I enjoyed the mood in this, and your subtle connection with Elwing through the gulls. It also led me to your earlier fic Et Eärello when Anorië leaves Elenna, so it was lovely to have that added background, knowing Elrond's presence on the beach is extra special to her.