Founded in 2005, the Silmarillion Writers' Guild exists for discussions of and creative fanworks based on J.R.R. Tolkien's The Silmarillion and related texts. We are a positive-focused and open-minded space that welcomes fans from all over the world and with all levels of experience with Tolkien's works. Whether you are picking up Tolkien's books for the first time or have been a fan for decades, we welcome you to join us!
Have you ever wondered what would happen if the characters in The Silmarillion were smoooooth like they were sippin' a Sex on the Beach on a party barge in the harbor at Alqualondë? The "Yacht Rock Silmarillion" retells The Silmarillion as though the characters all had perms…
"Move farther north," Caranthir says to her a month after the attack, gaze steady on her even as his hands continue briskly gutting fish. "There is plenty of land closer to my fortress, and my people can help protect yours if there is another attack."
Fëanor shrugged, studying the contents of his wine glass. “Something must be done about that house. It will fall down eventually.” “It does not follow that it must be you that tears it down single-handedly. Are you sure you do not want help?” “It’s not as though I…
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Bilbo, the strange old hobbit with the wandering feet, senses something special in young Frodo the first time he sees the lad; as they become close, they find in each other a cameraderie not well understood by other hobbits. Five poignant moments between Bilbo and Frodo Baggins over the course…
A Chieftain is dead. And whilst the events surrounding his death are unclear, a son tries to come to terms with his loss.
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The Silmarillion Writers' Guild is more than just an archive--we are a community! If you enjoy a fanwork or enjoy a creator's work, please consider letting them know in a comment.
Heh, glad you liked it! I'm afraid Fëanor's reaction here is pure luck, though: If Fingolfin and Finarfin had said something along the lines of "Good choice, Fingon, whatever makes you happy", Fëanor would have defended the opposite opinion! His pro gay rights position here is thus purely owned to... my own bias. I like Fëanor better than his half-brothers, so he's got to be the good guy ;)
What a delightful story! All the characters so true to themselves: transparent Findekano, shocked Nolofinwe, not shocked enough Maitimo, clueless Finwe, embarrassed Arafinwe who finds himself in the middle of an escalating mess and of course:
"But I thought we should marry who we love!" "Whom," Fëanáro pointed out. "Whom we love."
Thank you so much! I'm glad the characters work for you. And of course I'm tickled that you enjoyed the linguistic smart-assing. Who but Fëanor indeed? :D
I agree with Angelica that Feanor's correction of Fingon's speech provided a very in-character touch of levity to this ficlet! In considering the Maedhros/Fingon pairing, Feanor's reaction is one that I have always wondered about. Of course, I'm a fan of the guy, so I like to hope that he would respond just as he did here! :D But it still provides for interesting speculation in both directions.
Of course, the heretic in me can't help but notice that Feanor's remarks also relate quite nicely to the ever-present debate about "slash" in this fandom, where texts like L&C are duly trotted out to defend intolerant inclinations (I'm being nice) claiming that homosexuality could not exist in M-e. Feanor's remark on how his own father's marriage breaks those supposedly treasured "laws and customs" is a reminder of how few of those laws the Eldar themselves seemed to follow.
This is an issue very near to my heart, and I really enjoyed your work--as always!--for its insight and light touches of humor.
Heh! While Fëanor's original linguistic pet peeve would be hard to render into English without either making it look ath though he were lithping or else making him sound Shakespearean ("HATH! not has! dammit"), Modern English fortunately offers sufficient other occasions for some Fëanorian nit-picking ;) Glad it works for you!
Actually this snippet was written with exactly that debate in mind, and in fact your observation about the possibility of breaking the L&C was originally intended to be the 'punchline' - I was convinced that the line Fëanor quotes in the ficlet was actually "between one ner and one nis". Imagine my surprise and glee when - once I was done with the first draft and actually went to check my copy of Morgoth's Ring - I found that the sentence in question isn't at all directed against homosexuality, but rather against polygamy. So the anti-slashers have even less of a point! ;D (While I'll admit that there's probably just no mention of homosexuality in the L&C because Tolkien never entertained the notion that anyone might think of it in connection with marriage laws, in the end that's just speculation! ARRR.)
And because I've started to ramble anyway, I shall now bore you with the real life backstory of this lil' piece, namely, an episode that happened 20 years ago at a neighbourhood barbecue in my parents' garden: I have no idea how the topic came up (it was, after all, 20 years ago), but for some reason my then BFF and I declared that we were going to marry each other. Cue variations of "But you're both girls!" and "But you can't!" from our parents, except for my father, who just said "Well, if you still want to marry when you're grown up, you could go to Holland, it's allowed there." (By the time we actually were grown up, it would've been allowed in Germany as well, of course - but by that time we'd somehow fallen appart. And in love with guys, too. But it's nonetheless nice to know that it would've worked out if we'd turned out to swing that way!) So in a way, my dad has unsuspectingly inspired Fëanor's reaction here. Go figure (go dad!) ;) Anyway, that was random - my apologies! I'll shut up now. Thank you for your comment, and I'm glad that you enjoyed the story!
I really enjoyed this, Lyra. I find it true to life that a remark by an innocent child can bring out deep-seated family issues. Loved Feanor pointing out that his father marrying twice was against LACE. And besides it was funny.
Heh! As I told poor Dawn in my endless comment, this is vaguely based on something that happened when I was still small, cute and innocent. So yes, I quite agree that these things happen...
Fëanor has to serve once again to express something I can't believe some canatics seem to keep missing: That the LaCE are not set in stone, that they can be broken or overruled, and that an example of just that happening is provided right then and there in the very same book... and yet people will keep saying things like "But it isn't canon!!!1!eleventyone!!" ? (Let alone that, once the HoME comes into play, "canon" is a rather fuzzy term anyway...
All these serious considerations aside, I'm also glad you found it funny. :)
Never mind canon - if enough of us believe it, some day it'll be almost canon. (Look at how many fanonic "truths" there are that are considered canon by now... ;D)
Feanor the pedantic loremaster pulling his half-brother's leg is hilarious and very true to life. The comments thrown at Indis are also true to life, if more sad than funny.
Loved your Feanor here, both his linguist/loremaster background coming to the fore in the nitpicking and reference checking and his personal background that pointed a huge spotlight on the hypocrisy of that particular group of people going “oh no, how could you possibly contemplate doing something not 100% approved by the L&C!” And maybe just enjoying being contrary, and irritating his brothers :D
Thank you so much! The house of Finwe certainly have a track record of disregarding the Laws and Customs, so it bears questioning. And you're right, I'm sure he thoroughly enjoys just being contrary - especially if it allows him to irritate Indis and his half-brothers. :D
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