Founded in 2005, the Silmarillion Writers' Guild exists for discussions of and creative fanworks based on J.R.R. Tolkien's The Silmarillion and related texts. We are a positive-focused and open-minded space that welcomes fans from all over the world and with all levels of experience with Tolkien's works. Whether you are picking up Tolkien's books for the first time or have been a fan for decades, we welcome you to join us!
Fëanor shrugged, studying the contents of his wine glass. “Something must be done about that house. It will fall down eventually.” “It does not follow that it must be you that tears it down single-handedly. Are you sure you do not want help?” “It’s not as though I…
Erestor lay up against a tree, brown washed to black in the wet of the snow. The black disc of the new moon sailed across the dark sky. Erestor wished it were gone. He had no need to look into dark eyes any longer.
He was dying.
(AKA Erestor unwittingly travels back in time to the…
Have you ever wondered what would happen if the characters in The Silmarillion were smoooooth like they were sippin' a Sex on the Beach on a party barge in the harbor at Alqualondë? The "Yacht Rock Silmarillion" retells The Silmarillion as though the characters all had perms…
"Move farther north," Caranthir says to her a month after the attack, gaze steady on her even as his hands continue briskly gutting fish. "There is plenty of land closer to my fortress, and my people can help protect yours if there is another attack."
Data from the 2025 Tolkien Fanfiction Survey shows demographic changes in participant gender, age, and education and new revelations about neurodiversity.
Expanding on my 2018 article "Why People Don't Comment," comment data from the SWG underscores community as an essential component to a robust commenting culture.
By definition, fanworks fandom does not draw a lot of boundaries, but community archives and events have taken a strong stance against AI-generated fanworks due to ethical considerations and member input.
Bilbo, the strange old hobbit with the wandering feet, senses something special in young Frodo the first time he sees the lad; as they become close, they find in each other a cameraderie not well understood by other hobbits. Five poignant moments between Bilbo and Frodo Baggins over the course…
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I love the personalities you've given these two. They seem to fit them, while still being hilarious. Clever, as we weren't given much information about either one in the books. :)
I'm glad you like their personalities. This is the story where my version of Gil-galad acquired a personality of his own. I find him a bit hard to characterize, as you are absolutely right that we don't know much about him from the books. It ended up being a combination of deductions from Unfinished Tales, what was required for the stories I was writing, and how he developed in my head. Celebrimbor, on the other hand, leapt into my head almost fully-formed and never looked back.
I seem to remember reading in some footnote somewhere that Sauron loved mithril and collected a large proportion of the world's supply. It fit, so I stuck it in. Oh, the poltergeists have barely begun their work. I can (Almost) feel sorry for Sauron by the time they're done with him.
They'll go a long way beyond overturning teacups and causing trouble for Sauron's pets. The campaign has barely gotten started, and they'll push things to the outer limits of their mandate.
Thank you, Aiwen, for bringing such welcome entertainment during a day when I am stuck at home fighting a cold. If laughter is the best medicine, then Bringing Trouble to Barad-dûr is double-presription strength! This is terrifically funny! I love the premise, the characters, and all the little details: distaste for fish, Sauron's potential allergies. ghost-Celebrimbor and ghost-Gil-galad floating about and through things, Celebrimbor causing metal-fatigue and reminding Gil-galad that he knows a bit about Rings, Sauron's duvet and porcelain teacups (my DM - a dark lord who appreciates creature comforts - approves heartily) and well, so much is so funny!
Great story, and I can thank my mild nasopharyngitis for allowing me some quiet time to catch up here on the SWG. Bringing Trouble to Barad-dûr is a real treat!
I'm glad it's making you laugh a lot. There is a lot more of this story to come. It will be getting a bit less light-hearted shortly, due to Sauron being Sauron, but there should still be a lot to make you laugh.
No, he's not much of a literary critic, but I wanted to get at how more average inhabitants of Barad-dur were finding the mysterious happenings. You'll be seeing him again later. Glad you enjoyed it!
AH HAHAHA! This continues to be darkly hilarious, and major kudos to you for your ability to write what really is a slap-stick scenario so adroitly. I could envision all the hootworthy shenanigans. :^D
He hurled the Ring into the privy hole and floated to the ceiling to watch.
*Snort* Now that is a strategy to make Ring retrieval considerably more troublesome for the Dark Lord.
Of course, it won't be Sauron who has to go combing through the c&*p to find the dratted thing. This chapter is about as silly as the story gets. The plot will become more present and gain in intensity in the next few chapters. I'm glad you enjoyed the silliness.
I'm glad you liked that. I've been reusing some of the original characters that have already appeared with the idea that it will be more interesting to see fewer, more developed characters than hordes you only see once. This isn't the last you'll see of the Ambassador, although I don't think he'll be turning up for quite a while after this. He really isn't cut out for dealing with the likes of Sauron or the Nazgul.
They're certainly going to have a go at rescuing the prisoners. As for whether they'll succeed, for that, you'll have to wait and see. I just put the next chapter up.
The plan is well underway. As for Duilin, he was having a lot of trouble believing this is real, and he still has very little understanding of what is going on.
I wouldn't exactly have pegged the Witch King as the type to have daddy issues! (On the other hand, perhaps he was precisely the type to have daddy issues?)
We don't really know much about the Nazgul, including the Witch King. His parentage came up because I asked myself what canon character seemed most like they could be Sauron's kid. I came up with Angmar, and since this story partly follows the rule of funny, I included it here.
As for daddy issues, well, this is somebody whose magical powers and immortality are tied to his father, and who is second in command to his father. Everything Angmar has that he values is in some way or other tied to Sauron. Under those circumstances, he probably cares a lot about what Sauron thinks of him. It's a matter of survival, whether he loves or hates his father. I suspect he'd feel both emotions, so tangled together he can't tell them apart.
I remember this fic fondly from FFN and I'm very glad you're posting it here! This fic is utterly delightful. It makes me smile all the way through. And it manages to cover all sorts of absurd situations while still feeling in-character! (If Celebrimbor were sent into Barad-dur as a ghost with limited telekinetic powers, I feel that going into Sauron’s torture chamber and sabotaging all the torture instruments by giving them metal fatigue is exactly what he would do.)
Oh Valar, that was the greatest laugh I've had in days. I especially liked the bits about cows and Celebrian and Naz-girls. Sauron so out of his usual behaviour in this scene was just the best.
Comments on Bringing Trouble to Barad-dur
The Silmarillion Writers' Guild is more than just an archive--we are a community! If you enjoy a fanwork or enjoy a creator's work, please consider letting them know in a comment.