Golden Blessing by glorfindelcorner  

Prologue

At that time, they slowly began to understand that the glory days of the hidden city already laid in the past.

The Gondolindrim went about their days under the command of King Turgon and the lords of the great houses knowing that a shadow had begun to loom over the white towering city. Despite the foreboding darkness in their hearts, they knew not that the end had been so near.

King Turgon's reign became ever suspicious in those final days, his decisions were coloured by mistrust and anxieties. Rarely did he take counsel from the lords and seldom did any of them get leave from court to conduct business elsewhere in fear of their secret departure and inevitable betrayal. It was rumored that spies walked among them and the king received their reports daily, and thus the people became infected with the king's disease and secrets were guarded ever closer to their hearts.

Ever did Glorfindel and Ecthelion bid to hide their shared affection within the confines of their personal studies and bedchamers, that once were safe havens to retreat from duty and strip off titles of lords and the kings confidants, but their close friendship could be easily mistaken for conspiracy and the love between two males, was widely deemed unsavory. Therefore their secret meetings became ever dangerous, and ever thrilling. They ceased all written correspondence and never pencilled their appointments into their datebooks, the rumors of spies had also reached their ears and they would not risk informing their household staff of their secret meetings.

The dangers would not deter Glorfindel, for even in the light of Aman he had lived in the shadow of his hidden nature. He was male, for that was what he knew in his heart, despite being born to his mother as a peculiarity of two sexes. And never once in the centuries in which they had laid together did Ecthelion deny him his truth. Nor would he make Glorfindel feel less a male, not with his face buried in his golden tresses, not with his fingers buried in warm wanton places known to no other.

His double sex was no matter of confusion, but of exploration and bliss. Years of discovery and joy followed his sharing of this truth and rewarded he was for his honesty, again and again. For there was laughter between their kissing lips and ceaseless passion in their copulations.

There were times he took Ecthelion with his own tall standing member, and there were times Ecthelion took him, entering him in one place, and sometimes the other — thus is the pleasure of posessing the traits of the male and female form.

Most of the time however, they would content themselves simply by laying together in a tangle of limbs and sheets and trace their fingers over the lines of their bodies. Centuries of their shared companionship left not an inch unexplored. Glorfindel knew which places to tease and prod to make Ecthelion melt under his touch, and Ecthelion knew when to crook his fingers just so or wrap his hand around Glorfindel's member to race him to completion when he most desperately ached for it.

Yet they never bored of each other and those quiet nights became the refuge from their strained bureaucratic lives.

Glorfindel lay propped onto his side and stroked Ecthelion's dark hair over his shoulder and kissed the skin he exposed. If he were ever to bond with someone, it would be with him.

Ecthelion smiled, for he had shared the thought, too.

Their secret was safe between them and they relished in sharing something that was theirs alone. Glorfindel thanked Echtelion wordlessly by pulling him close so that he was blanketed by Ecthelion's body, and spread his legs in welcome. He could not stand to wait and fiddle around with ointments and salves and thus that night simply guided Ecthelion's member to breach his warm folds instead.

Ecthelion dropped his face into Glorfindel's shoulder and bit back a keen, to be engulved so suddenly in such pleasure drew a deep gutteral groan from him. Inbetween blessings and praises uttered heedlessly against Glorfindel's flushed skin, he ground his hips into Glorfindel's to bury himself in his heat.

This send stars bursting behind Glorfindel's eyelids at every aimed thrust filling him thus completely with never ceasing adoration.

Their thoughts turned inwards, dreaming of lives they could have lived had their history unfolded differently, but relishing in the love that ever grew.

And although they never knowingly willed a child, that night their son was conceived.

1

The first change Glorfindel noticed was not in himself, but in those around him.

They grew quiet in his presence and whispers started up as he passed. His household staff no longer met his eye and even the soldiers under his command became like strangers in their passive silence.

Glorfindel was summoned to the king before he knew what charges were laid against him, and before he had the chance to speak to Ecthelion. Still he went with his head held high for there was no refusing the kings summons. Lord Glorfindel of the house of the Golden Flower, in the throneroom on his knees.

He was spared the humiliation of an audience, even the servants had been dismissed before his coming. It was strange to be in the sole presence of the king for the first time in years, but king Turgon welcomed him not unkindly and bid him to stand rather than kneel at the foot of his throne.

King Turgon decended and led them to sit in the privacy of his study where the light was low and they could not be seen nor heard.

The king looked weary as he poured their wine.

Glorfindel was certain no one saw him and Echtelion together that day or any of those days, for they were careful and practiced in stealth. They made sure they were not followed and met only when they were both accounted for. It could not have been that, therefore word should never have reached the king.

Turgon studied him in a long stretch of silence while they both drank. Glorfindel held the king's gaze and gave away none of the nerves that put his stomach into nauseating knots. Still, his eyes fell shut when Turgon spoke the words he so feared would strike him in all those years he had walked this world. For it was not his companionship with Ecthelion that had been discovered.

"Is it true?" King Turgon spoke softly, though even softer came Glorfindels answer in the affirmative.

Then the king's brow drew together in a grave frown. The air around him seemed to darken with ill forboding, "Then I bid you to choose, here and now we shall put an end to this matter. You are either to live your life as you have: lead your house as lord Glorfindel, and I will put an end to these cruel whispers. Or, you may choose to give up your title as lord. Because if this is what your heart truly desires, I as your friend would not stand in the way of your happiness, even if as your king, I would lose a great and loyal ally. But," and Turgon's face grew graver yet, "you know the laws of this city and no lady shall lead a great house. You have been a loyal subject and a good friend, but I won't do that."

Once these words had been spoken, Glorfindel's stomach loosened and his lungs took breath again. This was no difficult choice, for he was male, always had been. Even if he had considered to give up his command, there was no obvious heir to take over the house of the golden flower.

There was only one true choice.

He shared his decision with Turgon. "Then I am to remain lord Glorfindel, for this is what my heart desires."

Relief washed over Turgon's kingly face that once more settled into a graceful smile.

Glorfindel realised not that the words he uttered had, despite their sureness, effected him greatly. Turgon reached out to rest his hands on either side of Glorfindel's face to brush the corners of his eyes. “Weep not my friend, consider this matter settled.”

They finished their wine in silence and Glorfindel bowed deeply after he stood, for he was grateful that he still had a fierce ally here upon the highest seat of the city. He left the kings halls with a lighter heart and a surer step, despite the nagging question that lingered in the back of his mind.

How had the matter of his sex become known?

Whilst deep in thought, his feet carried him out of habit in the direction of the Fountain gatehouse, but he quietly circled back and made it to higher ground, to the secluded section of the golden gardens.

He ignored the quieted murmuring of the guardsmen and sat on a carved stone bench with his head in hands. He struggled to put together any plausible theory, nothing stuck and he was thus condemned to sit in court amongst an unknown betrayer.

2

Glorfindel withdrew from public life outside his court duties as he resolved to lay low while king Turgon unrooted the would-be slanderous accusations.

This meant that he saw little of Ecthelion, lest their affection would further water the seeds of the rumors. But they were not used to being seperated and Glorfindel quickly grew weary as a result.

He slept poorly, there was no herbal remedy nor soothing salve that would help him to stop tossing and turning in his great empty bed.

He yearned for Ecthelion even in his dreams. He felt startlingly youthful in his longing for him. His dreams were filled with the memories of newly stretched limbs, sun bathing in Aman and secret notes shared under the great trees.

Those were not his only dreams.

Sometimes he received images of darkness and a great pit of fire, fear stank in his nostrils and in the midst of it all, he held a weeping child to his chest.

Glorfindel slept in long undisrupted stretches, which was uncommon amongst their kin. He knew not what the dark dreams were telling him, he could only guess that the stress at court, and the unkind whispers worked his nerves.

Thus he missed the telltale signs of the life that kindled inside of him. Unsurprisingly, since he had not knowingly made the child. And had always doubted that he was able to bear them since he was only part fair-sexed and never bled in the ways of elf-maidens.

But he would soon find out that he had already been pregnant the day that he was summoned by the king. And that the rumors of his sex were not a result of diligent spywork, but of the keen eyes of those whom had recognized the early signs of pregnancy.

"A word, my lord?" Mityissë had kindly looked after his household since the great city had come to be. Never in their centuries together, had she requested his attention at a time where he was retired to his rooms.

Glorfindel rose to welcome her inside, though he feared it was with a dire message that she came. She took the offered seat opposite his desk though her eyes never wandered over the scattered paperwork and rather remained fixed on him.

The silence stretched on for some time before Glorfindel offered to continue the conversation. "How can I help you, Mityissë?"

A smile ghosted her face though it was quickly contained. She reached for his hands, and he obediently and trustingly offered his palms up to her. As though he was an elfling and she his mother, who had been lost on the ice all those years ago.

She held his hands in a warm clasp when in the dark privacy of his study, she told him what she and the other maidens had been suspecting for some time.

3

When Glorfindel's middle began to swell with the first signs of life, he felt no joy.

Dark clouds gathered around king Turgons court and his increasingly erratic moods struck deep concern in the hearts of the lords of Gondolin.

They were alarmed by the king's paranoid ruling and the upswing of mandatory duty at the overflowing court of justice.

The wise amongst them stood by helplessly as they realized that their days in the city were counted.

Glorfindel too, feared for their safety. For even if the king would forgive him for his error in judgement, to get with child despite his choice to remain a lord, then Glorfindel would be expected to live his life as a maiden, and that would never be his chosen path.

Fleeing Gondolin would have been the wiser choice, but duty prevailed in the end and he felt obliged to remain with his people, as he knew Ecthelion would be too.

Glorfindel decided he would tell Ecthelion on the great feast of the Gates of Summer.

He knew that once the singing began to greet the first light of the sun, no one could hear their whispers if they only stood close enough. Then during the festival to follow, they could find a quiet place to discuss what could be done about the child that they had willed in their hearts.

When all of the Gondolindrim climbed the great gate in the silence of the whipping wind and cloudless sky over the encircling mountain pass, Glorfindel made sure he stood shoulder to shoulder with Ecthelion. No one saw Glorfindel touch his abdomen where it began to push at the seams of his clothing. Had their lives been different then perhaps this moment, with this marvelous view, the gentle sweep of Ecthelions hair brushing against his face and the joy of their reunion brightly shining in Ecthelions star-like eyes, would have made a beautiful memory. But it was not destined to be as such.

Death came upon them that day, and the words Glorfindel meant to share upon the gates remained forever unspoken.

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4

Glorfindel was not alone in his body when he woke up on the shores of Middle Earth.

He rose to stand on his feet on the sandy shores to place his hands on either side of his stomach and found his girth similar to what it had been upon his death.

The knowledge that his son had been reembodied along with him soothed any trace of loneliness that creeped into heart upon his exit from the halls of waiting in ways no healing in Valinor could have accomplished.

With newfound determination, Glorfindel set out his journey into the changed land on foot, for he was not alone. He carried within him a part of Ecthelions faë and all that was left of him in this world. Nothing and no one would take this from him and thus Glorfindel guarded his secret more closely this time around and kept himself loosely wrapped in his tunic.

Soft pale sand beneath his boots turned coarse and then to mud and grass. He walked for miles under the light of the sun and singing of the stars. His legs knew where to carry him without stumbling into harm's way until he met a wild horse grazing upon a poppy field. As though she had waited idily for him in this place, she was eager to have him upon her back.

Asfaloth finished their trek to the hidden settlement of Imladris, far into the eastern valley of Eriador where Glorfindel was welcomed warmly by Lord Elrond, whose eyes shone bright like that of the young prince Eärendil. Even though Glorfindel came bearing ill foretelling from the Valar.

The members of Elrond's household gave their kindness freely in exchange for his stories of the ancient world in the great hall of fire. They were easily satisfied by the short tales of heroes in battle, the timeless counsel of queens and quests of doomed lords and princes whom Glorfindel once called his friends.

Not every day was he in the mood for the telling of melancholy tales, but he would simply retreat back to his rooms. He had come to occupy half the wing of Elrond's chief counselor, whom had insisted that the rooms had stood empty anyway and that he did not like for the resources to go to waste. Erestor did not take to crowds and endless chatter, which suited Glorfindel well on the nights he woke up in a damp pool of his own sweat and the sheets gathered around his waist, his heart racing in the aftermath of another nightmare. He did not dream of his own death half as much as his mind would conjure up the image of Ecthelion face down in the fountain, drowned in choking red blood.

On those nights, he always found Erestor still working in their adjoined study and quietly sat down in the chair by the fire without disturbing Erestor at his desk.

Glorfindel always ended up letting the cup of tea Erestor would pour him go cold in his hands, since it would not sit right in his stomach with the remembrance of Ecthelion lonely death still haunting his waking thoughts. Erester nonetheless poured him a cup each time.

"I am starting to think my brews are not to your liking, my lord," Erestor spoke softly on one such occasion without the stern edge Glorfindel had become accustomed to in Elrond's privy council. When Glorfindel failed to answer promptly, Erestor drew his chair by the fire and sat with Glorfindel for some time. Erestor drank his tea, while Glorfindel did not, and together they stared into the crackling flames.

At one point, Glorfindel's hand had come to rest on his stomach and he caught Erestor looking at it from the corner of his eye, though neither of them spoke of what it had meant. Perhaps some sort of excuse was in order, but Glorfindel was weary and would not have known what to say even if he had the ability to find his voice again after witnessing the terrors that his mind had conjured up earlier that evening.

"Here," Erestor nudged Glorfindel's hand with a biscuit, an unassuming thin disque. "Take it, it is perfectly bland. They help settle my stomach when Olthedir brings me another stack of paperwork that he conveniently forgot to deliver earlier in the week."

The corner of Glorfindel's mouth lifted involuntarily.

He took the biscuit and nibbled on it for some time until it softened on his tongue and went down his throat with ease. Once Erestor was satisfied Glorfindel had eaten, he stood up to gather his paperwork from his desk and finished it with Glorfindel by the fire in silence.

5

Glorfindel was brought under Erestor's care and enjoyed the luxury of being one of the few people whose company Erestor tolerated, or even cautiously enjoyed.

They found each other in their solitary, but also later in the great hall of fire for long songs and tedious feasts, their chairs pushed together at the table for dinner and their seats conjoined in the privy council, close enough to whisper without being overheard. They fed each other bits of fruit and pastries if one insisted that the other would enjoy it and even shared sips of wine if the other ran out before their drink was poured again by one of the servants.

The whispers that followed their perceived closeness were abundant, but not unkind. It was clear that most people were delighted to see Erestor share such closeness with someone in the valley, Glorfindel had even caught lord Elrond at one point smiling at them whilst whispering something in his wife's pointy ear.

Glorfindel came to believe that same sex relationships were not frowned down upon here in Imladris.

One day, when they were the last ones in the privy council after the rest of the lords had wandered off to receive their luncheons and paperwork, Glorfindel lingered in the arched doorway until Erestor finished drafting his meeting notes. Erestor eventually stood to link their arms to walk back to their rooms together.

This act of affection, though only friendly in nature, drew many eyes as they passed through the overgrown gardens and cobbled pathways. They were greeted with smiles and friendly waves. To be so blatant and carefree in his affection was peculiar indeed, Glorfindel marveled to have lived to see such a change in their kin and proceeded to ask Erestor about it once they were back inside.

"Hm, I don't believe same sex relationships have been a matter of dispute amongst the Sinda, not since king Thingol's rule at any rate, but I assume this was different in Gondolin?" Erestor worded it as a question though he had guessed correctly. Before Glorfindel could answer, Erestor insisted he sat and herded him into a seat. Glorfindel went without a fuss, for he was rounder at the middle and grew winded faster than when he first arrived in the valley.

Once he sat down with folded arms, he dug through the memories of hidden meetings and shared kisses in shadows and dark corners before he came with an answer — something he found himself doing more often now than he had in his past life when he had chuckled at the ways of their elders, trailing off mid sentence and getting lost in their own minds for long stretches of silent thought.

"Such things were forbidden in Gondolin," he said, eventually.

His eyes opened to Erestor already seated opposite him on the settee beside to the window. He held out a bowl of glistening freshly washed grapes to Glorfindel. Glorfindel took this offering for his stomach would remained insistently hungry as of late.

"I see," Erestor hummed, "who did you share your hidden affection with?"

"Ecthelion." The name sat strangely on his lips somce he avoided speaking it during his storytelling in the great hall of fire. Each syllabel warmed him, he knew his cheeks appeared flushed even in the dim lighting. Quietly he vowed to himself to speak his name more often, so that it may never sit like the name of a stranger in his mouth again. "He passed in Gondolin and resides in the halls now," he said needlessly, for the story of Ecthelion of the Fountain was well known amongst their kin.

Erestor studied him and stretched out to pluck one grape for himself. "Then it is his child you carry, is it not?"

"Yes, it is," Glorfindel laughed suddenly, for he should not have been surprised that Erestor had long known.

It spoke to the good graces Glorfindel was in for Erestor to only bask momentarily in having guessed his secret correctly, his smug satisfied smile settled and softened on his elegant features. He then, not unlike Mityissë all those centuries ago in the city of Gondolin, took Glorfindel's hands and urged him to seek out a healer. At that time Glorfindel had not heeded Mityissë's advice in a desperate attempt to bid himself more time. He knew not what had come of Mityissë, if she had lived to see her own children grow or if she had succumbed to the destruction of the fair city. Erestor came back into focus and again, he urged Glorfindel to seek out Elrond. "Because times have changed, and you would be a father to your child if you so wished."

"But my condition is. Uncommon."

"Be that as it may," Erestor was no longer asking, and his hands insistently drew Glorfindel to his feet without heeding his weary sigh. "If anyone could be of help to you, then it is our lord."

In the end, Glorfindel was given no alternative but to follow Erestor into the higher fortresses of Imladris where lord Elrond resided with the lady Celebrían, and held private consultations. Glorfindel's appearance sent the servants into an immediate frenzy, as though his mere presence was reason to clear the rest of their lord's present appointments.

Indeed, no few moments after he and Erestor took their seats in the long corridor, lord Elrond appeared from a side door and kindly summoned Glorfindel into a different, quiet well-lit room. The warm rays of the sun streamed in through an unopened window. Glorfindel stood there for some time while he thought of what he might say.

Though he needn't.

When Elrond finished cleaning and drying his hands in a sanitary basin stationed in one corner of the room, he gestured for Glorfindel to lay back and remove his shirt. "So, I assume that I can now finally offer my congratulations properly?" And Glorfindel could only answer his knowing smile with a smile of his own.

6

In the later stages of Glorfindel's pregnancy, the two of them often took to sitting either in Erestor's sitting room or Glorfindel's west facing balcony for laughter and gossip over tea.

They often circled back to the same conversations. Erestor concerned himself over Ecthelion's absence and was adamant that it took two life forces to sustain an elfling. In turn, Glorfindel was certain that he received plenty of caring companionship through their shared bond.

Erestor shut his book, bent down and braced his hands on either side of Glorfindel's abdomen to kiss him below the belly button. In the past Erestor had made jests about his size, but none of those could measure up to what has become of his overgrown bump, and thus the jests had ceased. Glorfindel stretched his legs to stretch his muscles and pop the joints in his toes with a contented sigh.

It would have been a ludicrous effort to hide his condition and was glad that this was no longer a point of contingency. Imladris was a safe haven for those who had survived the turmoil of the earlier ages. Glorfindel could easily put those dark thoughts and ill forboding to the back of his mind. With the soft breeze that was upon his smiling face and the sun tickling his skin, the quiet rustling of Erestor returning to his book — all was well still.

He might have wished for Ecthelion, but he was not gone forever. There would come a time when they would lay eyes upon each other again in Valinor, the place where they had grown into adulthood and intertwined their fëar. There Ecthelion would get to meet their son, and chief counselor Erestor, who had lend his goodwill to them and fulfilled their happiness, as true a friend as any could have.

Erestor pulled Glorfindel from his thoughts by meeting his gazeless eyes, his tone was not free from its sharp teasing edge. "Did your mind also wander this often in your life before?"

"Nay, I fear it is old age that made me prone to it," Glorfindel felt his face stretch into a smile, "why? Do you worry that my disposition is better fitted to a grandsire, than that of a father?"

"Not at all! I rather fear that I have signed myself up for a century of chasing your child around the valley to keep them out of harms way, because you are too preoccupied with daydreaming."

" Him , it's a boy," Glorfindel insisted, again.

"You cannot possibly know that," Erestor rebuked, for the upteenth time.

Glorfindel folded his hands over himself and rocked back in his chair. His eyes shut under the weight of his eyelids and he was in bliss. He heard Erestor sigh in exasperation, but he too returned to his quiet activity. That was the way they would spend those afternoons in the early spring.

Epilogue

The labour pains began when the moon stood high in the sky and still conversing with the far-away stars.

Erestor was awoken from his reverie in a startling panic and it had taken some time for Glorfindel to calm him before they went to rouse the quarters of the healers. Lord Elrond had long insisted on delivering the elfling personally, with assistance from his most trusted midwives, and so it happened.

Glorfindel was returned to his bedchamber where he was made comfortable for some time, until the pain became overbearing. At last, this triggered Erestor's razor sharp focus and thus he held Glorfindel through this final trials of pain as it came upon him as an internal all-consuming tide. The midwives were at their task, discussing him amongst themselves and sometimes they spoke to him directly with questions or instructions, with calming touches to his leg or ankle. Lord Elrond was at his back to rub ground herbs in his shoulders and chanted soothing enchantments, while Erestor was at his bedside and took his hand and his grip never ceased to leave, for one matter or another. Glorfindel was deeply glad for their presence, although he could not have voiced it at that time.

Just as the pain seemed to become too much to bear, he was kindly informed by lord Elrond that his patience would soon be paid off.

The echoing enchantments and soothing murmurs of praise were all that filled the low-lit room, until upon the break of dawn, Glorfindel sat upright with the last of his strength and stubbornly brought his own child into the world.

It was a mighty sight for those lucky enough to witness the moment of blissful joy and unification. One of the midwives helped him to support the child's head and wriggling body until it was placed safely upon Glorfindel's bosom, and he received the crying child gladly.

Congratulations were uttered along with blessings from the Valar.

Erestor's hand found the back of the child's head and his lips caught the corner of Glorfindel's mouth in a kiss, whilst lord Elrond braided Glorfindel's long tresses back in the style of a victorious warrior in battle, thus marking the end of this particular peril. The midwife who delivered the child asked if he would name the child.

Glorfindel smiled tearfully at the life that had been created and had been unknowingly willed so long ago in a world so drastically changed.

For some time he had known that his son would be Ecthelion of Imladris.

Chapter End Notes

Thank you so much for reading, this was my first fic for the SWG! 

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