Golden Blessing by glorfindelcorner  

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One

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Prologue

At that time, they slowly began to understand that the glory days of the hidden city already laid in the past.

The Gondolindrim went about their days under the command of King Turgon and the lords of the great houses knowing that a shadow had begun to loom over the white towering city. Despite the foreboding darkness in their hearts, they knew not that the end had been so near.

King Turgon's reign became ever suspicious in those final days, his decisions were coloured by mistrust and anxieties. Rarely did he take counsel from the lords and seldom did any of them get leave from court to conduct business elsewhere in fear of their secret departure and inevitable betrayal. It was rumored that spies walked among them and the king received their reports daily, and thus the people became infected with the king's disease and secrets were guarded ever closer to their hearts.

Ever did Glorfindel and Ecthelion bid to hide their shared affection within the confines of their personal studies and bedchamers, that once were safe havens to retreat from duty and strip off titles of lords and the kings confidants, but their close friendship could be easily mistaken for conspiracy and the love between two males, was widely deemed unsavory. Therefore their secret meetings became ever dangerous, and ever thrilling. They ceased all written correspondence and never pencilled their appointments into their datebooks, the rumors of spies had also reached their ears and they would not risk informing their household staff of their secret meetings.

The dangers would not deter Glorfindel, for even in the light of Aman he had lived in the shadow of his hidden nature. He was male, for that was what he knew in his heart, despite being born to his mother as a peculiarity of two sexes. And never once in the centuries in which they had laid together did Ecthelion deny him his truth. Nor would he make Glorfindel feel less a male, not with his face buried in his golden tresses, not with his fingers buried in warm wanton places known to no other.

His double sex was no matter of confusion, but of exploration and bliss. Years of discovery and joy followed his sharing of this truth and rewarded he was for his honesty, again and again. For there was laughter between their kissing lips and ceaseless passion in their copulations.

There were times he took Ecthelion with his own tall standing member, and there were times Ecthelion took him, entering him in one place, and sometimes the other — thus is the pleasure of posessing the traits of the male and female form.

Most of the time however, they would content themselves simply by laying together in a tangle of limbs and sheets and trace their fingers over the lines of their bodies. Centuries of their shared companionship left not an inch unexplored. Glorfindel knew which places to tease and prod to make Ecthelion melt under his touch, and Ecthelion knew when to crook his fingers just so or wrap his hand around Glorfindel's member to race him to completion when he most desperately ached for it.

Yet they never bored of each other and those quiet nights became the refuge from their strained bureaucratic lives.

Glorfindel lay propped onto his side and stroked Ecthelion's dark hair over his shoulder and kissed the skin he exposed. If he were ever to bond with someone, it would be with him.

Ecthelion smiled, for he had shared the thought, too.

Their secret was safe between them and they relished in sharing something that was theirs alone. Glorfindel thanked Echtelion wordlessly by pulling him close so that he was blanketed by Ecthelion's body, and spread his legs in welcome. He could not stand to wait and fiddle around with ointments and salves and thus that night simply guided Ecthelion's member to breach his warm folds instead.

Ecthelion dropped his face into Glorfindel's shoulder and bit back a keen, to be engulved so suddenly in such pleasure drew a deep gutteral groan from him. Inbetween blessings and praises uttered heedlessly against Glorfindel's flushed skin, he ground his hips into Glorfindel's to bury himself in his heat.

This send stars bursting behind Glorfindel's eyelids at every aimed thrust filling him thus completely with never ceasing adoration.

Their thoughts turned inwards, dreaming of lives they could have lived had their history unfolded differently, but relishing in the love that ever grew.

And although they never knowingly willed a child, that night their son was conceived.

 

1

The first change Glorfindel noticed was not in himself, but in those around him.

They grew quiet in his presence and whispers started up as he passed. His household staff no longer met his eye and even the soldiers under his command became like strangers in their passive silence.

Glorfindel was summoned to the king before he knew what charges were laid against him, and before he had the chance to speak to Ecthelion. Still he went with his head held high for there was no refusing the kings summons. Lord Glorfindel of the house of the Golden Flower, in the throneroom on his knees.

He was spared the humiliation of an audience, even the servants had been dismissed before his coming. It was strange to be in the sole presence of the king for the first time in years, but king Turgon welcomed him not unkindly and bid him to stand rather than kneel at the foot of his throne.

King Turgon decended and led them to sit in the privacy of his study where the light was low and they could not be seen nor heard.

The king looked weary as he poured their wine.

Glorfindel was certain no one saw him and Echtelion together that day or any of those days, for they were careful and practiced in stealth. They made sure they were not followed and met only when they were both accounted for. It could not have been that, therefore word should never have reached the king.

Turgon studied him in a long stretch of silence while they both drank. Glorfindel held the king's gaze and gave away none of the nerves that put his stomach into nauseating knots. Still, his eyes fell shut when Turgon spoke the words he so feared would strike him in all those years he had walked this world. For it was not his companionship with Ecthelion that had been discovered.

"Is it true?" King Turgon spoke softly, though even softer came Glorfindels answer in the affirmative.

Then the king's brow drew together in a grave frown. The air around him seemed to darken with ill forboding, "Then I bid you to choose, here and now we shall put an end to this matter. You are either to live your life as you have: lead your house as lord Glorfindel, and I will put an end to these cruel whispers. Or, you may choose to give up your title as lord. Because if this is what your heart truly desires, I as your friend would not stand in the way of your happiness, even if as your king, I would lose a great and loyal ally. But," and Turgon's face grew graver yet, "you know the laws of this city and no lady shall lead a great house. You have been a loyal subject and a good friend, but I won't do that."

Once these words had been spoken, Glorfindel's stomach loosened and his lungs took breath again. This was no difficult choice, for he was male, always had been. Even if he had considered to give up his command, there was no obvious heir to take over the house of the golden flower.

There was only one true choice.

He shared his decision with Turgon. "Then I am to remain lord Glorfindel, for this is what my heart desires."

Relief washed over Turgon's kingly face that once more settled into a graceful smile.

Glorfindel realised not that the words he uttered had, despite their sureness, effected him greatly. Turgon reached out to rest his hands on either side of Glorfindel's face to brush the corners of his eyes. “Weep not my friend, consider this matter settled.”

They finished their wine in silence and Glorfindel bowed deeply after he stood, for he was grateful that he still had a fierce ally here upon the highest seat of the city. He left the kings halls with a lighter heart and a surer step, despite the nagging question that lingered in the back of his mind.

How had the matter of his sex become known?

Whilst deep in thought, his feet carried him out of habit in the direction of the Fountain gatehouse, but he quietly circled back and made it to higher ground, to the secluded section of the golden gardens.

He ignored the quieted murmuring of the guardsmen and sat on a carved stone bench with his head in hands. He struggled to put together any plausible theory, nothing stuck and he was thus condemned to sit in court amongst an unknown betrayer.

 

2

Glorfindel withdrew from public life outside his court duties as he resolved to lay low while king Turgon unrooted the would-be slanderous accusations.

This meant that he saw little of Ecthelion, lest their affection would further water the seeds of the rumors. But they were not used to being seperated and Glorfindel quickly grew weary as a result.

He slept poorly, there was no herbal remedy nor soothing salve that would help him to stop tossing and turning in his great empty bed.

He yearned for Ecthelion even in his dreams. He felt startlingly youthful in his longing for him. His dreams were filled with the memories of newly stretched limbs, sun bathing in Aman and secret notes shared under the great trees.

Those were not his only dreams.

Sometimes he received images of darkness and a great pit of fire, fear stank in his nostrils and in the midst of it all, he held a weeping child to his chest.

Glorfindel slept in long undisrupted stretches, which was uncommon amongst their kin. He knew not what the dark dreams were telling him, he could only guess that the stress at court, and the unkind whispers worked his nerves.

Thus he missed the telltale signs of the life that kindled inside of him. Unsurprisingly, since he had not knowingly made the child. And had always doubted that he was able to bear them since he was only part fair-sexed and never bled in the ways of elf-maidens.

But he would soon find out that he had already been pregnant the day that he was summoned by the king. And that the rumors of his sex were not a result of diligent spywork, but of the keen eyes of those whom had recognized the early signs of pregnancy.

"A word, my lord?" Mityissë had kindly looked after his household since the great city had come to be. Never in their centuries together, had she requested his attention at a time where he was retired to his rooms.

Glorfindel rose to welcome her inside, though he feared it was with a dire message that she came. She took the offered seat opposite his desk though her eyes never wandered over the scattered paperwork and rather remained fixed on him.

The silence stretched on for some time before Glorfindel offered to continue the conversation. "How can I help you, Mityissë?"

A smile ghosted her face though it was quickly contained. She reached for his hands, and he obediently and trustingly offered his palms up to her. As though he was an elfling and she his mother, who had been lost on the ice all those years ago.

She held his hands in a warm clasp when in the dark privacy of his study, she told him what she and the other maidens had been suspecting for some time.

 

3

When Glorfindel's middle began to swell with the first signs of life, he felt no joy.

Dark clouds gathered around king Turgons court and his increasingly erratic moods struck deep concern in the hearts of the lords of Gondolin.

They were alarmed by the king's paranoid ruling and the upswing of mandatory duty at the overflowing court of justice.

The wise amongst them stood by helplessly as they realized that their days in the city were counted.

Glorfindel too, feared for their safety. For even if the king would forgive him for his error in judgement, to get with child despite his choice to remain a lord, then Glorfindel would be expected to live his life as a maiden, and that would never be his chosen path.

Fleeing Gondolin would have been the wiser choice, but duty prevailed in the end and he felt obliged to remain with his people, as he knew Ecthelion would be too.

Glorfindel decided he would tell Ecthelion on the great feast of the Gates of Summer.

He knew that once the singing began to greet the first light of the sun, no one could hear their whispers if they only stood close enough. Then during the festival to follow, they could find a quiet place to discuss what could be done about the child that they had willed in their hearts.

When all of the Gondolindrim climbed the great gate in the silence of the whipping wind and cloudless sky over the encircling mountain pass, Glorfindel made sure he stood shoulder to shoulder with Ecthelion. No one saw Glorfindel touch his abdomen where it began to push at the seams of his clothing. Had their lives been different then perhaps this moment, with this marvelous view, the gentle sweep of Ecthelions hair brushing against his face and the joy of their reunion brightly shining in Ecthelions star-like eyes, would have made a beautiful memory. But it was not destined to be as such.

Death came upon them that day, and the words Glorfindel meant to share upon the gates remained forever unspoken.