A Man Who Flies From His Fear May Find He Has Only Taken A Shortcut To Meet It by LadySternchen  

Failure/Being Judged- Dior

“But what have I to give them? It seems to me that whatever I shall do, I can still only disappoint.”

His mother sighs, and Dior can feel that she’s refraining from rolling her eyes with difficulty. Her exasperation, however, seems not to be with him.

“What you have to give is your blood.”

Maybe noticing his alarmed look, she chuckles.

“Alright, that sounded a bit… savage. No, I do not mean in that way, I meant… you are my son. My parents’ grandson. And of course, the son of a legend, though I suspect that not the entire kingdom holds your father that dear. At least not wholeheartedly, and looking at it from a distance, I cannot say I blame them.”

“I can see that. But Elu had counsellors, had he not? And even if the majority of the kingdom seeks comfort in the fact that I will be their king, the counsellors cannot be as naive? I am but a child to them, I know nothing…”

Lúthien sighs once more, though heavily this time.

“Yes, I am afraid this is on us, your father and me. I just never thought…” her voice trails off, grief etched into her face for the first time. “But Nimloth knows. She grew up in Menegroth, and she knows much about how everything is run. And make no mistake, she will rule as your equal, just like Naneth did. No one in Doriath will ever consider it a sign of weakness should you look to your Queen for guide. Keep to Celeborn and Galathil for advice. They both have been part of the council for a long time.”

And they are the only members of the royal family left, apart from Nimloth and me and the children, Dior thinks to himself, but does not say it aloud. There is no need to remind his mother of this fact just now.

“Doriath has valiant and able warriors, whatever the lords of the Noldor might think. You need not fear.”

“It is not that which I fear, Nana.”

“What is it, then?”

“Judgement. Failure. I fear more than anything that I cannot live up to the expectations. That they will judge me against Elu, who…” Dior needs to swallow his tears for a moment.

For all his life, he has idolised his grandfather, and he cannot live up to his legacy, ever. To his surprise, his mother smiles, even though it is a sad smile.

“Your grandfather built his kingdom to suit him, as any king would. I think you might find that it suits you, too. He was no stranger to self-doubts, either. Nor was, in fact, your grandmother. You will find your path, Dior. Have faith in your own strength.”