A Very Fire by Deborah Judge  

Epilogue 1: Like a white fire within

...since his torment upon Thangorodrim his spirit burned like a white fire within, and he was as one that returns from the dead. (Chapter 18: On the Ruin of Beleriand and the Fall of Fingolfin)

What was bound to the rock was an empty shell, his father's fire gone from him. His inheritance was a set of tasks that could not be done. Morgoth could not be defeated and the Silmarils were lost. There is nothing I can do that you can not, he thought. Father forgive me.

What was freed from the rock was remade. No longer well-formed, no longer a formed thing, rather hewn from stone with a single stroke. He had never imagined Fingon would find him. When he touched him a fire returned, a bright white fire lit by Fingon's own flame.

There was so much his father had not been able to do. Maedhros gave Fingolfin's people horses and other goods to help make up for what was lost on the ice. Then he knelt to Fingolfin and willingly made him king. He was a son of Feanor and would follow his path. He had promised Fingon that their fathers would not separate them. Nothing was taken from me, father. It was a riddle his father had never been able to solve, how to kneel without giving up power. It turned out that it was simple enough. Himring belonged to Maedhros, and the armies of his brothers, and the front lines in the fight against Morgoth. High King Fingolfin consulted with him on all things. He was still part of the ruling family, as he was married to the High King's son.

At Fingon's urging they held a small but formal wedding as soon as Maedhros was well enough to stand. It was the right choice, a way to begin with hope.

It was not until twenty years after their wedding that Maedhros gave Fingon the green stone. "I remember this," Fingon said. "My father used to wear it all the time."

"My father made it for him," Maedhros said. The burden of whatever had been between their fathers lay heavy between them. You will do what I cannot, Feanor had said. There had been so much yearning between them. Feanor had always wanted Maedhros to be as close to Fingon as he could. Feanor had always wanted Fingon as his heir.

I'm going to love you like I chose it, Maedhros thought. With all the history that bears down on us, still you are the one I chose.

"I had plenty of time to think on the mountain," Maedhros said. "And I realized: Morgoth was defeated by the Valar a long time ago. Why did he come back now? It had to be our fathers fighting each other that created space for him. It was only when there was a break between our houses that Morgoth was able to come in."

"I asked for help from Manwe," Fingon said, "even though we rebelled against him, and even though the Valar said they wouldn't hear our cries. Are you saying that is why he helped us?"

"When we were separated the Valar left me to be tortured and left you to freeze," Maedhros said. "But when you risked your life to find me Lord Manwe sent a miracle. My father used to talk about a crack that appeared when Grandfather remarried, and then when our two houses became separate. He said that was why he made the stone, to forge into one what should never have become two."

"I never forgave your father," Fingon said, "not for what he did to me and not for what he did to you. It took me a long time to forgive mine." He touched the stone. "I hope we can do better."

There was so much that Maedhros carried from his father and in that moment none of it felt impossible. He would bring vengeance against Morgoth for his father and grandfather, and he would free the SIlmarils from Morgoth's dark crown. He would heal the breach between their houses.

There is another fire, Maedhros thought. A fire my father never found. It sheds light but does not destroy, gives heat but does not consume. One torch lights another and light shines in darkness.

"I was lit by your fire," Maedhros said. "When you brought me back from the dead." The fire between them would sustain them, would strengthen them in the long war to come.

In Fingon's hand the green stone shone, giving light to Himring and to the dark lands beyond.