Comments on Onlooker

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Loved it. The atmosphere of the gathering, noisy at one moment and quiet at the next; Maedhros' voice and observations as he stood there in the shadow, in particular I loved how he compared himself to a ghost, though at this moment -- I'd say -- he seemed more like a guardian angel to Fingon, eager to know that everything was all right. Great fic, and I'm very glad you didn't keep it to 100 words :D



Again I find myself comparing your work to Impressionism, but not Cezanne this time.  Rather this piece reminds me of one of those stolen moments seen in a Degas or Toulouse-Lautrec; that half a face looking out from the edge of the canvas, apart from the hustle, which causes one to wonder what lies beyond. 

Your representation of the passing of time is interesting here, it made me wonder how long Maedhros had stood in his reverie that his absense would cause such a stir - a well observed slice of life!



Thank you! Yes, you are quite right. Maedhros was standing in that doorway longer than he thinks he was!

But his search for the bag in the stables has already taken longer than anticipated and he does know that. Also, he and his people are a very closely-knit group  and, as Feanorians, even all this time after Losgar, they don't feel that they are entirely on home territory. Maedhros still thinks they are over-reacting (getting in a tizzy)!

Maedhros is not as much an outsider as he thinks he is. I liked how he used his teeth to help get the gift (not before checking he wasn’t being watched, of course), that comment about Fingon’s natural more (made me smile) and what he’d do if he were a ghost (though he wouldn’t like it as much if he weren’t able to protect Fingon)