Founded in 2005, the Silmarillion Writers' Guild exists for discussions of and creative fanworks based on J.R.R. Tolkien's The Silmarillion and related texts. We are a positive-focused and open-minded space that welcomes fans from all over the world and with all levels of experience with Tolkien's works. Whether you are picking up Tolkien's books for the first time or have been a fan for decades, we welcome you to join us!
New Challenge: Scavenger Hunt In this Matryoshka-with-a-twist, you will solve clues that point you to the challenge prompts.
Sign-Up to Hand Out Scavenger Hunt Prompts Our May challenge will be a Matryoshka built around a scavenger hunt. If you'd like to hand out prompts (and receive comments on your work for doing so!), you can sign up to do so.
New Challenge: Everyman Create a fanwork about an ordinary character in the legendarium using a quote about an unnamed character as inspiration.
Cultus Dispatches: Fanworks, AI, and Resistance by Dawn and Grundy The fan studies column Cultus Dispatches returns with a history of how Tolkien fanworks fandom has reacted and resisted generative AI by drawing strong boundaries in a way that is not typical for the fandom.
Inspired by collecting the prompts for the Everyman challenge, this essay considers how ordinary people are subsumed and silenced in The Silmarillion, which begins a three-book arc that ends with the rise of the humble and ordinary.
Feanor and Fingolfin, from their youth to their fall.
"I will do this gladly," Fingolfin said, whispering into Feanor's mouth, grasping for reasons and sense. "Gladly, if it will bring peace between us. If it will end the madness."
A Teleri fishing boat captain turns to farming on abandoned Noldor lands after her ship is stolen. A Noldor farmer returns with Finarfin to find that his land belongs to the Teleri now.
The thing about forgiveness, he thought, was that it was so much easier when the object of it was far away—or dead. It was so much easier to let it all go when those responsible were far away and unable to do any more harm.
In his old age, Isildur's former esquire Ruinamacil, known to later histories only as Ohtar, writes his own account of his escape from the ambush at Gladden Fields and journey to Imladris, and the history of his friend whom Isildur ordered to flee with him.
By definition, fanworks fandom does not draw a lot of boundaries, but community archives and events have taken a strong stance against AI-generated fanworks due to ethical considerations and member input.
In a book as full of death as the Quenta Silmarillion, grief and mourning are surprisingly absent. The characters who receive grief and mourning—and those who don't—appear to do so due to narrative bias. Grief and mourning (or a lack of them) serve to draw attention toward and away from objectionable actions committed by characters.
This presentation for Mereth Aderthad 2025 discusses the parallels between the concept of abnegation in the scientific work surrounding the atomic bomb and in The Silmarillion. The relinquishment of self-interest in favor of the interests of others, abnegation was identified by Tolkien as a powerful act of spirit and reason. The legendarium has many examples of the complexities of abnegation, which parallel similar discussions held by physicists during and after World War II.
Bilbo, the strange old hobbit with the wandering feet, senses something special in young Frodo the first time he sees the lad; as they become close, they find in each other a cameraderie not well understood by other hobbits. Five poignant moments between Bilbo and Frodo Baggins over the course…
The Silmarillion Writers' Guild is more than just an archive--we are a community! If you enjoy a fanwork or enjoy a creator's work, please consider letting them know in a comment.
I think it is a scream and very clever. I think my favorite line is "it's a little tight in crotch." That is so funny. And the response to it as well. Those lines and the straw episode. Using Fingon as the punch-line there cracks me up every time I read it. Sorry if I embarrassed you by making you post it. If you didn’t want to share, you should have written such an hilarious, irreverent piece.
It was supposed to be a "badfic" remember? lol But I'm glad you like it so much. And I had to throw Fingon in there just for you. *grin* Thanks for liking it and thanks for thinking it's good enough to post.
My laptop's monitor is now Jackson Pollocked with today's coffee. This is -- in a word -- hootworthy. "Looking boffo" (I love that term) and the Tapestry Accident sent me over th edge.
I'm glad oshun convinced you to post this. This is a perfectly hilarious addition to your comic compendium of "The Unbearable Smugness of Being (Fëanor)," "Texas Gay Boy..." "Elven Legends," and "A Boy and His Lob," all of which have done happy damage to my computer's monitor.
Thanks Pandemonium! I've always thought of Glorfindel as a "boffo" kinda guy. Apparently Namo thought so too. *wink wink, nudge nudge* As always, I appreciate your comments and I'm glad you have the same weird sense of humor as me. ;-)
Oh dear, I am not sure if I can point out what the best part is... from the bodychamber thing to a sort of CPR where Fëar are being put back in the body, it all had me giggling madly. I love this concept and it's just once more so well executed!
Oshun nominated it already for the mefa's, but that was my first thought after I read it :) Congrats!
I figured Namo had to have some way to reembody those Elves and if he has a chamber, he has a lot more leisure time for tea and stuff. :-) Thanks for your comments, Rhapsody, I'm glad you like it. And I appreciate your thought on the MEFA's as well.
Ok, I did already review this on fanfiction.net, but I couldn’t help reading it again... and it’s just as funny the second time. You were quite creative with thinking up ways for him to die. My favorite bits were probably when he said “It’s a little tight in the crotch,” and the ending – “Ever try to feed jerky to a Warg?” Ingenious, truly. :D
I appreciate your review on FFN, Feta, and thanks so much for commenting here as well. I was about to run out of ways to kill Glorfindel, that's why it's so short. lol I'm glad the story gave you a laugh. It's silly but kinda fun. Thanks again.
You know, I think Glorfindel had an ulterior motive too. He sure didn't try very hard to stay out of trouble, did he? ;-) Thanks for your comments, Whitewave, I appreciate them.
I wanted to leave a copy of your MEFA review on here so you had it with the story =)
I think it is safe to say that Ignoble Bard is carving out his own path in the Silmarillion humor category. After reading his hysterical 'The Unbeatable Smugness of Being Feanor', I knew he had a somewhat twisted sense of humor (Which I LOVE btw) and this story did not disappoint. Its rare to find someone who writes so well and at the same time is so dang funny! He is the George Carlin of the Simarillion Fanfiction. Writing about Glorfindel's death, repeated death rather, was perfect - made the elf lord seem a little less perfect. And not many of his deaths were something to be proud of either. I keep thinking of mother's warnings about 'we can't have nice things'. Apparently wtih Glorfindel he 'can't have a great body'. Even the title is hysterical - I keep hearing the song in my head!
Wow, Alassante, this is awesome! Thanks for your comments and thanks for your vote. It's kind of overwhelming and touching that this story is getting such a good response. I can't thank you enough. The comparison to George Carlin is a welcome compliment as well, especially in light of his recent passing. I very much appreciate that. "We can't have nice things" ROFL My mom used to say the same to us. I guess it was true, we were pretty rambuctious. I didn't know if anyone would remember the song. I'm glad you do. :-)
OMG i really laughed my ass off reading this one (excuse the language)
no dangerous sea voyages for you! you are forbidden to shower ever again! xDDDDDD
and the last scene with the bonzai, i can *see* it in front of my eyes, it's so anime and manga like, too! xD (never mind how bonzais came to valinor xDDD)
Aren't all the plants and animals ever represented in Valinor? lol I liked the idea of Namo tying to find ways to relax and Glorfindel popping up and disturbing him. I've known a few people like that. Always calling when you're in the shower or whatever. Thanks for commenting. I really appreciate it.
Thanks for your comments, Ling. I'm glad it's a story you continue to enjoy, and I appreciate you commenting to let me know. It was a fun one to write.
Comments on I Ain't Got No Body
The Silmarillion Writers' Guild is more than just an archive--we are a community! If you enjoy a fanwork or enjoy a creator's work, please consider letting them know in a comment.