Founded in 2005, the Silmarillion Writers' Guild exists for discussions of and creative fanworks based on J.R.R. Tolkien's The Silmarillion and related texts. We are a positive-focused and open-minded space that welcomes fans from all over the world and with all levels of experience with Tolkien's works. Whether you are picking up Tolkien's books for the first time or have been a fan for decades, we welcome you to join us!
New Challenge: Title Track Tolkien's titles range from epic to lyrical to metaphorical. This month's challenge selected 125 of them as prompts for fanworks.
Our Annual Amnesty Challenge: New Year's Resolution Start 2026 off with creativity! If you missed a challenge or didn't get to finish or post a challenge fanwork, complete any 2025 challenge before 15 February to receive the stamp.
He was going to die. The molten rocks would burn him just like the cursed gem in his palm did. Maybe less painfully but still being burnt hurt and Maedhros knew it. He intimately knew it from his time in Angband where Þauron burnt him often in frustration and to toy with him and his master…
“Come on.” Maedhros grabbed his hand and pulled him along down the path, both of them quickening their pace now, until the trees opened up into a wide meadow filled with flowers, bright yellow celandine and dandelions and sweet-scented pale chamomile mingling with cornflowers and irises. On…
Aldarion storms off towards Middle-earth. For the Title Track challenge.
Current Challenge
Title Track
Create a fanwork using our collection of 125 titles from Tolkien's books, chapters, essays, poems, and fragments as inspiration. Read more ...
This presentation for Mereth Aderthad 2025 discusses the parallels between the concept of abnegation in the scientific work surrounding the atomic bomb and in The Silmarillion. The relinquishment of self-interest in favor of the interests of others, abnegation was identified by Tolkien as a powerful act of spirit and reason. The legendarium has many examples of the complexities of abnegation, which parallel similar discussions held by physicists during and after World War II.
This presentation for Mereth Aderthad 2025 discusses the many similarities between Tolkien's three "twilight children," Tinúviel, Lómion, and Undómiel (Luthien, Maeglin, and Arwen) in terms of appearance, plot, and cultural background. Yet these three characters play very different roles in the text.
Presented at Mereth Aderthad 2025, this paper makes the case thata, although the term "aromantic" had not yet been coined in Tolkien's day, many of his characters can be read as aromantic. The paper takes a closer look at Aredhel, Bilbo, and Boromir as three examples of characters who can be read as aromantic.
“There’s a goblin hiding in the taters, Dad!” Pippin hefted the pan, which was much too big for him to carry, let alone wield.
Around the World and Web
March Challenge - Tolkien Short Fanworks
Tolkien Short Fanworks is running a challenge for the month of March to create a Back to Middle-earth Month themed challenge.
Tolkien Fashion Week 2026
This two-week-long Tumblr event is dedicated to honoring the world of fashion and textiles Tolkien wrote about in his books.
Celegorm and Curufin Week 2026
Celegorm and Curufin Week is a Tumblr week celebrating the relationship between Celegorm and Curufin Feanorion
Back to Middle-earth Month 2026
Back to Middle-earth Month is returning for it's 20th year with many prompts and archival efforts.
The Silmarillion Writers' Guild is more than just an archive--we are a community! If you enjoy a fanwork or enjoy a creator's work, please consider letting them know in a comment.
I think it is a scream and very clever. I think my favorite line is "it's a little tight in crotch." That is so funny. And the response to it as well. Those lines and the straw episode. Using Fingon as the punch-line there cracks me up every time I read it. Sorry if I embarrassed you by making you post it. If you didn’t want to share, you should have written such an hilarious, irreverent piece.
It was supposed to be a "badfic" remember? lol But I'm glad you like it so much. And I had to throw Fingon in there just for you. *grin* Thanks for liking it and thanks for thinking it's good enough to post.
My laptop's monitor is now Jackson Pollocked with today's coffee. This is -- in a word -- hootworthy. "Looking boffo" (I love that term) and the Tapestry Accident sent me over th edge.
I'm glad oshun convinced you to post this. This is a perfectly hilarious addition to your comic compendium of "The Unbearable Smugness of Being (Fëanor)," "Texas Gay Boy..." "Elven Legends," and "A Boy and His Lob," all of which have done happy damage to my computer's monitor.
Thanks Pandemonium! I've always thought of Glorfindel as a "boffo" kinda guy. Apparently Namo thought so too. *wink wink, nudge nudge* As always, I appreciate your comments and I'm glad you have the same weird sense of humor as me. ;-)
Oh dear, I am not sure if I can point out what the best part is... from the bodychamber thing to a sort of CPR where Fëar are being put back in the body, it all had me giggling madly. I love this concept and it's just once more so well executed!
Oshun nominated it already for the mefa's, but that was my first thought after I read it :) Congrats!
I figured Namo had to have some way to reembody those Elves and if he has a chamber, he has a lot more leisure time for tea and stuff. :-) Thanks for your comments, Rhapsody, I'm glad you like it. And I appreciate your thought on the MEFA's as well.
Ok, I did already review this on fanfiction.net, but I couldn’t help reading it again... and it’s just as funny the second time. You were quite creative with thinking up ways for him to die. My favorite bits were probably when he said “It’s a little tight in the crotch,” and the ending – “Ever try to feed jerky to a Warg?” Ingenious, truly. :D
I appreciate your review on FFN, Feta, and thanks so much for commenting here as well. I was about to run out of ways to kill Glorfindel, that's why it's so short. lol I'm glad the story gave you a laugh. It's silly but kinda fun. Thanks again.
You know, I think Glorfindel had an ulterior motive too. He sure didn't try very hard to stay out of trouble, did he? ;-) Thanks for your comments, Whitewave, I appreciate them.
I wanted to leave a copy of your MEFA review on here so you had it with the story =)
I think it is safe to say that Ignoble Bard is carving out his own path in the Silmarillion humor category. After reading his hysterical 'The Unbeatable Smugness of Being Feanor', I knew he had a somewhat twisted sense of humor (Which I LOVE btw) and this story did not disappoint. Its rare to find someone who writes so well and at the same time is so dang funny! He is the George Carlin of the Simarillion Fanfiction. Writing about Glorfindel's death, repeated death rather, was perfect - made the elf lord seem a little less perfect. And not many of his deaths were something to be proud of either. I keep thinking of mother's warnings about 'we can't have nice things'. Apparently wtih Glorfindel he 'can't have a great body'. Even the title is hysterical - I keep hearing the song in my head!
Wow, Alassante, this is awesome! Thanks for your comments and thanks for your vote. It's kind of overwhelming and touching that this story is getting such a good response. I can't thank you enough. The comparison to George Carlin is a welcome compliment as well, especially in light of his recent passing. I very much appreciate that. "We can't have nice things" ROFL My mom used to say the same to us. I guess it was true, we were pretty rambuctious. I didn't know if anyone would remember the song. I'm glad you do. :-)
OMG i really laughed my ass off reading this one (excuse the language)
no dangerous sea voyages for you! you are forbidden to shower ever again! xDDDDDD
and the last scene with the bonzai, i can *see* it in front of my eyes, it's so anime and manga like, too! xD (never mind how bonzais came to valinor xDDD)
Aren't all the plants and animals ever represented in Valinor? lol I liked the idea of Namo tying to find ways to relax and Glorfindel popping up and disturbing him. I've known a few people like that. Always calling when you're in the shower or whatever. Thanks for commenting. I really appreciate it.
Thanks for your comments, Ling. I'm glad it's a story you continue to enjoy, and I appreciate you commenting to let me know. It was a fun one to write.
Comments on I Ain't Got No Body
The Silmarillion Writers' Guild is more than just an archive--we are a community! If you enjoy a fanwork or enjoy a creator's work, please consider letting them know in a comment.