Founded in 2005, the Silmarillion Writers' Guild exists for discussions of and creative fanworks based on J.R.R. Tolkien's The Silmarillion and related texts. We are a positive-focused and open-minded space that welcomes fans from all over the world and with all levels of experience with Tolkien's works. Whether you are picking up Tolkien's books for the first time or have been a fan for decades, we welcome you to join us!
New Challenge: Building Middle-earth Let global architecture be your inspiration in this challenge, where you will work with a prompts that are architectural styles, locations in Arda, or both.
Tuor and Elwing’s recreational sailing excursion goes terribly awry when a carnivorous siren casts her gaze upon their vessel. With her song, she enchants the mariners and boards with evil intent. She kills and eats their crewman, she demands Tuor’s hand in marriage, and for dessert…
Rescued from a brutal Angband hunt, an ex-thrall with a strange and powerful artifact embedded in his spine is brought to Himring, for it is one of the only places in Beleriand which welcomes such folk. Though he has no memories of his life before, Anniavas slowly becomes accustomed to his new…
Fëanor shrugged, studying the contents of his wine glass. “Something must be done about that house. It will fall down eventually.” “It does not follow that it must be you that tears it down single-handedly. Are you sure you do not want help?” “It’s not as though I…
As beautiful as he is dangerous, Aegnor, an elven prince, stands against the looming shadows of Angband. Brother to Galadriel, he commands the siege with a fierce intensity, a duty that exacts a heavy toll on him. But beneath the iron walls he has built lies a broken soul, haunted by a…
The Lord of the Rings and Hobbit film trilogies mark perhaps the most influential events in the history of the Tolkien fanfiction fandom. As the Rings of Power show approaches its third season, data from the Tolkien Fanfiction Survey shows that it is not even close to…
When uneasy dreams bring him back into Beleriand, Daeron finds a pair of twins who have lost their home, and an enemy who has lost himself. The Shadow's reach is growing ever longer, and if they are to survive, they must do it together.
The Lord of the Rings and Hobbit film trilogies mark perhaps the most influential events in the history of the Tolkien fanfiction fandom. As the Rings of Power show approaches its third season, data from the Tolkien Fanfiction Survey shows that it is not even close to matching the impact of the films ... yet.
Data from the 2025 Tolkien Fanfiction Survey shows demographic changes in participant gender, age, and education and new revelations about neurodiversity.
Expanding on my 2018 article "Why People Don't Comment," comment data from the SWG underscores community as an essential component to a robust commenting culture.
Bilbo, the strange old hobbit with the wandering feet, senses something special in young Frodo the first time he sees the lad; as they become close, they find in each other a cameraderie not well understood by other hobbits. Five poignant moments between Bilbo and Frodo Baggins over the course…
The Silmarillion Writers' Guild is more than just an archive--we are a community! If you enjoy a fanwork or enjoy a creator's work, please consider letting them know in a comment.
Oh my goodness, my jaws are hurting and no beverage is safe here! I could so buy this fashion marketing take on this and I'd end up quoting the whole time-line to say what I'd like the most (okay, perhaps Fëanor unleasing Huan on Melkor?). My money is on Huan in that case *grin*
Oh thanks! Yeah, I actually enjoy re-reading this one and couldn't believe that I thought of all those outrageous things, must have been the extra espresso shots.
Definitely, one of the best humor pieces I've ever read! And when I'm done with this review, I'll immediately add your story to my list of favs :D (and will continue laughing ;)).
Thank you so much for sharing! This is priceless :D
Hi, thanks for reading and reviewing and adding this to your favorites! I'm glad you liked it! So far this is the most well-received story I have ever posted and I'm happy that people found it amusing. I have more pieces coming up picking on the House of Fëanaro!
You are seriously one of the best Tolkien humor writers that I’ve read. This was just too funny! I was too lazy to close my door and so had to refrain from laughing (lest someone hear me, ask what was so amusing, and discover that I am indeed a “nerdy female”), but it was difficult. You know, if you could actually manufacture those products, I’d be your first customer. ;)
I hope very much that you’ll continue to bring us such excellent humor fics in the future!
:-) I'm so glad you liked it. Thanks for reading and reviewing and for the very nice comments. Methinks I'm the biggest nerd of the lot though. Yes, I wish there was some way to manufacture them too--in a way Chapter 2 is a wish list. :^) I still have a number of pieces on the Feanorians lined up and one about Finarfin and I'll be updating "The Scented Pleasure Garden" soon.
Read this over again, since you said you’d made some changes, and it still made me very happy. I’m not sure how much of what I noticed this time were things you added, and how many were just things I’d missed because I was too busy concentrating on trying not to laugh the first time... but the fifth and sixth age “labels” were quite amusing, and I just can’t seem to get over the “Let’s Educate Our Valar Fund” (they definitely need it!)... you rock. :D
Thanks for reading it again and for the encouraging comments. Yeah, I've been very frustrated with the Valar for so many reasons so I came up with that.
Rofl I really had so much fun reading this. I have to list some of my favorite parts.
Her doting husband King Finwe reputedly always helped her out of her form-fitting robes to check for "quality control"
Lololol Sounds like a typical excuse a man would use;)
After much tension and experimentation with the life-like mannequins, Feanaro and Nerdanel soon marry and start "crafting their own family tree."
Hmmmmm rofl conjures too many strange images.
I really laughed at the Silmarils covering the family-jewels.
I really want to see the "Unbreakable Oath ad" !!! And I wouldn't mind the realistic, anatomically correct, voice activated (though that might get annoying when they won't shut up about the Silmarils), realistic motion ( has definite possibilities ;) seven son mannequins.
Very fancy balls of chemically-treated sequins....lmao what a classic.
Teleporno, wasn't that Celeborn's name??? Rofl how unfortunate but how funny you made it into a television station.
Seven sons scantly clad with very wet shirts. Yay!
Thanks for reading and reviewing. Yes, this one always has me chuckling whenever I read it again. The "Unbreakable Oath" ad is something I'd like to see too--if only I could draw. And I can't resist the "Teleporno" bit, as to the "United Colors", I wanted to have the brothers wear shirts with colors of the rainbow--I'm bad, I know.
Thanks for making my day! Reviews always makes me smile! Yes, I've seen that picture before, but it's always a delight to gaze at Tyelkormo the Fair. I've been planning to write something featuring him in a male beauty pageant for so long now, but I'm currently working on three other stories, one is a Bond-Silmarillion (AU) cross-over that will pair him up with a few gorgeous Bond girls so the beauty pageant will have to wait.
Comments on The Dark Foe Wears Feanaro
The Silmarillion Writers' Guild is more than just an archive--we are a community! If you enjoy a fanwork or enjoy a creator's work, please consider letting them know in a comment.