Founded in 2005, the Silmarillion Writers' Guild exists for discussions of and creative fanworks based on J.R.R. Tolkien's The Silmarillion and related texts. We are a positive-focused and open-minded space that welcomes fans from all over the world and with all levels of experience with Tolkien's works. Whether you are picking up Tolkien's books for the first time or have been a fan for decades, we welcome you to join us!
Fëanor shrugged, studying the contents of his wine glass. “Something must be done about that house. It will fall down eventually.” “It does not follow that it must be you that tears it down single-handedly. Are you sure you do not want help?” “It’s not as though I…
This is my new poetical attempt to add my own interpretation to Tolkien's Cosmology as to Eru's Creation and the Valar's minds and behind-the-scene providence reasons and mechanisms.. I often review Eä as part of our own world, just in another dimension, this is why I have always seriously…
Concerned by his responses to the paraphernalia of healing, Fingon steals Maedhros from his room for an impromptu garden excursion. Maedhros battles with dark thoughts.
Rescued from a brutal Angband hunt, an ex-thrall with a strange and powerful artifact embedded in his spine is brought to Himring, for it is one of the only places in Beleriand which welcomes such folk. Though he has no memories of his life before, Anniavas slowly becomes accustomed to his new…
Expanding on my 2018 article "Why People Don't Comment," comment data from the SWG underscores community as an essential component to a robust commenting culture.
By definition, fanworks fandom does not draw a lot of boundaries, but community archives and events have taken a strong stance against AI-generated fanworks due to ethical considerations and member input.
In a book as full of death as the Quenta Silmarillion, grief and mourning are surprisingly absent. The characters who receive grief and mourning—and those who don't—appear to do so due to narrative bias. Grief and mourning (or a lack of them) serve to draw attention toward and away from objectionable actions committed by characters.
Bilbo, the strange old hobbit with the wandering feet, senses something special in young Frodo the first time he sees the lad; as they become close, they find in each other a cameraderie not well understood by other hobbits. Five poignant moments between Bilbo and Frodo Baggins over the course…
A Chieftain is dead. And whilst the events surrounding his death are unclear, a son tries to come to terms with his loss.
Around the World and Web
Tolkien Gen Week 2026
Tolkien Gen Week will run from July 6-12, 2026 to appreciate all of the incredible characters and relationships within Tolkien’s legendarium that fall under the broad category of “gen.”
Tolkien Disability Pride 2026
This Tumblr event focuses on ALL creative works focusing on disability in Tolkien's universe.
The Silmarillion Writers' Guild is more than just an archive--we are a community! If you enjoy a fanwork or enjoy a creator's work, please consider letting them know in a comment.
Oh my goodness, my jaws are hurting and no beverage is safe here! I could so buy this fashion marketing take on this and I'd end up quoting the whole time-line to say what I'd like the most (okay, perhaps Fëanor unleasing Huan on Melkor?). My money is on Huan in that case *grin*
Oh thanks! Yeah, I actually enjoy re-reading this one and couldn't believe that I thought of all those outrageous things, must have been the extra espresso shots.
Definitely, one of the best humor pieces I've ever read! And when I'm done with this review, I'll immediately add your story to my list of favs :D (and will continue laughing ;)).
Thank you so much for sharing! This is priceless :D
Hi, thanks for reading and reviewing and adding this to your favorites! I'm glad you liked it! So far this is the most well-received story I have ever posted and I'm happy that people found it amusing. I have more pieces coming up picking on the House of Fëanaro!
You are seriously one of the best Tolkien humor writers that I’ve read. This was just too funny! I was too lazy to close my door and so had to refrain from laughing (lest someone hear me, ask what was so amusing, and discover that I am indeed a “nerdy female”), but it was difficult. You know, if you could actually manufacture those products, I’d be your first customer. ;)
I hope very much that you’ll continue to bring us such excellent humor fics in the future!
:-) I'm so glad you liked it. Thanks for reading and reviewing and for the very nice comments. Methinks I'm the biggest nerd of the lot though. Yes, I wish there was some way to manufacture them too--in a way Chapter 2 is a wish list. :^) I still have a number of pieces on the Feanorians lined up and one about Finarfin and I'll be updating "The Scented Pleasure Garden" soon.
Read this over again, since you said you’d made some changes, and it still made me very happy. I’m not sure how much of what I noticed this time were things you added, and how many were just things I’d missed because I was too busy concentrating on trying not to laugh the first time... but the fifth and sixth age “labels” were quite amusing, and I just can’t seem to get over the “Let’s Educate Our Valar Fund” (they definitely need it!)... you rock. :D
Thanks for reading it again and for the encouraging comments. Yeah, I've been very frustrated with the Valar for so many reasons so I came up with that.
Rofl I really had so much fun reading this. I have to list some of my favorite parts.
Her doting husband King Finwe reputedly always helped her out of her form-fitting robes to check for "quality control"
Lololol Sounds like a typical excuse a man would use;)
After much tension and experimentation with the life-like mannequins, Feanaro and Nerdanel soon marry and start "crafting their own family tree."
Hmmmmm rofl conjures too many strange images.
I really laughed at the Silmarils covering the family-jewels.
I really want to see the "Unbreakable Oath ad" !!! And I wouldn't mind the realistic, anatomically correct, voice activated (though that might get annoying when they won't shut up about the Silmarils), realistic motion ( has definite possibilities ;) seven son mannequins.
Very fancy balls of chemically-treated sequins....lmao what a classic.
Teleporno, wasn't that Celeborn's name??? Rofl how unfortunate but how funny you made it into a television station.
Seven sons scantly clad with very wet shirts. Yay!
Thanks for reading and reviewing. Yes, this one always has me chuckling whenever I read it again. The "Unbreakable Oath" ad is something I'd like to see too--if only I could draw. And I can't resist the "Teleporno" bit, as to the "United Colors", I wanted to have the brothers wear shirts with colors of the rainbow--I'm bad, I know.
Thanks for making my day! Reviews always makes me smile! Yes, I've seen that picture before, but it's always a delight to gaze at Tyelkormo the Fair. I've been planning to write something featuring him in a male beauty pageant for so long now, but I'm currently working on three other stories, one is a Bond-Silmarillion (AU) cross-over that will pair him up with a few gorgeous Bond girls so the beauty pageant will have to wait.
Comments on The Dark Foe Wears Feanaro
The Silmarillion Writers' Guild is more than just an archive--we are a community! If you enjoy a fanwork or enjoy a creator's work, please consider letting them know in a comment.