Very, very funny piece. I recommend that people read it more than once, however. Every time I look at it I find a new double entendre. I'll refrain from listing my favorites here so as not to spoil finding them for others. (I thnk you need to write an entry for the "stereotypes" prompt as well. You clearly have a feel for it.) 

You had me at nosegay of flowers! This is hilarious! Very wrong on so many levels ... but hilarious nonetheless. :D Also, congrats for being maybe the only writer to ever make me feel sorry for Namo!

Námo shook his head at their antics, making a mental note that Vairë needed a new dining room suite.

The above had me roaring with laughter :D Most hilarious stuff, and very clever! Thanks a lot for writing and sharing it.

No wonder he barely gets out his halls, hehe all that commentary! I think my most fav bit was this:

 The trees all stood silent, waving their branches nonchalantly. Then he noticed one branch seemed to be pointing at the tree next to it. He stood in front of the tree, glowering.

 *wipes away some laughing tears* What a visua, although that last line is precious as well!

*cough* Snorted Jameson's out my nose reading this - absolutely hilarious!

This worked so well for me.  Portraying a less-than-dignified Vala of Doom makes great reading, especially because he seems to be so affected by what the trees say about him.  ;-)

<<Now don't you wonder what he's going to do to the fountain?>>

I have a vague idea ;). LOL!

Ahahahahaha! Naughty trees and fountain! Hmm. But fountain? Could it be Ulmo playing a trick on his little brother? LOL A good light piece! The trees reminded me of the Ents, by the way. The mental picture I got from the scene where they dipped their roots into the water made me laugh out loud!

I never saw the Lord of Mandos as... what the trees and the fountain described him to be. LOL It was refreshing! Although It made me roll my eyes too. I was surprised when you described Irmo as having woods too, not only gardens, but that is beside the point.

What did you mean with the dining room, though? I don't understand...