A New Life in an Old Home by chrissystriped

No one waited for him when he left Mandos. Maedhros hadn’t wanted it any different. He was close to Formenos, only a long march away. Before he met other people, he wanted to move this new body a little. It started to rain and Maedhros pulled the hood of his cloak over his head. He didn’t know what would happen when he met his uncles and he needed to get used to life before he did that. Maybe it was cowardly, but he didn’t have the strength.

The short grass on the rocky ground felt springy under his steps and he enjoyed the feeling of the cool air filling his lungs. He’d thought it could never be that way again, they hadn’t fulfilled the Oath — but then Namo had told him that Ilúvatar forgave them and nullified the Oath. Maedhros hadn’t wanted to live again for a long time regardless — not after all the things he’d done. The thought of how Fingon and Nolofinwe would look at him... It was still a scary thought, but one he intended to face. Now that he was allowed to. He’d served his sentence and it had been long years of his fea aching for a hroa.

Maedhros saw the grey stone of the fortress appear on the horizon, barely distinguishable from the mountains around it. His father had called it a fortress, but now that he knew something about war and building fortresses, he saw how easy it would be to take it. Even when they’d spent their time forging swords and armour and listened to Morgoth’s lies, not knowing it were his words, they’d been innocent — before the Darkness.

The grey walls came slowly closer and Maedhros readied himself to be recognised. A banner with the Star of Feanor flew above the tower. When he was a few dozen steps away from the gate, it opened and two elves ran towards him. Their hair glowed like flames in the grey surrounding and Maedhros stopped in his step.

“Ambarussa”, he whispered as they hugged him.

“Maedhros, we saw you come and we knew it’s you”, Amras said and Amrod nodded.

Maedhros looked at his youngest brother and tears ran down his cheeks. “I’m so sorry, Amrod. The ships, I... forgive me!”

Amrod hugged him tighter. “I know. I also know that you didn’t take part. I’m not angry with you, Maitimo.”

“Come in. Horrible weather. Let’s get you warm.” Amras took his hand and the twins pulled him into the fortress.

Soon he sat in dry clothes, that were a little too small for him and a steaming cup of tea — Amrod had added a generous swig of brandy — in front of a roaring fire.

“And you’ve come here straight away? Not Tirion?”

Maedhros shook his head. “It seemed... too much. I wasn’t sure how our uncles are going to receive me. I didn’t know that you are here.”

“Only in summer”, Amrod said. “It’s too warm in Tirion.”

Maedhros looked out of the window and laughed. “Yes, the summer in Formenos is truly splendid.”

“Our uncles hold the opinion that everyone who is allowed to leave Mandos, is forgiven. You don’t have to fear retaliation.”

No retaliation... was that the best he could hope for? Maedhros shook his head at himself. Nolofinwe was reunited with his wife. And after the crimes he’d committed, he surely didn’t want him anymore. He’d forgiven him Alqualonde and the Ice, but Doriath? Sirion? Maedhros shuddered. “And everyone agrees with that?”

Amras shrugged. “Not everyone is happy that we were forgiven, but they accept the decision of the kings.”

“I’ll soon pay my respects to them, but...”

“Returning isn’t easy”, Amrod said.

“After the long time in the silence of Mandos”, Amras continued.

They’d driven him mad by continuing each other’s sentences, when they’d all been young, but now it brought tears to his eyes. He remembered too well how Amras had sometimes stopped in the middle of a sentence, before he remembered that no one would finish it. It had broken Maedhros’s heart every time.

“Stay here for a few days, get used to living again. And when you are ready, we’ll ride back to Tirion together.”

“You’ll break off your summer holiday for me?”

Amrod leaned against him. “But of course, big brother. We won’t let you leave alone.”

Maedhros bit his lip to stop himself from starting to cry again. Whatever waited for him in Tirion, he still had a family, he had his brothers. He’d forgotten how good it felt to know that. They’d had each other in Mandos, too, but that had been... different and Maedhros realised that his memories of the time there — as long as it had been — were already fading.

“Thank you”, he whispered. “That means everything to me.” He took a deep breath. “How is mother? And our brothers, are they…”

“Amme is well. I’m sure she’d be happy to see you.”

“Yes?” Maedhros sipped at his tea. He wanted to see her. He wanted to go home and be embraced by her and told that everything was alright and forgiven.

Amras met his eyes. “She will”, he said again. “We’ll visit her on our way to Tirion. She moved back in with our grandparents.”

Maedhros smiled wryly. “Since when have you become so bossy, little brother?”

“Since I realised you didn’t have any more clue what to do than I. Stealing from Eonwe. Really?”

“Let’s not talk about this”, Amrod interjected. “You are back and that is all that matters. As to our brothers: You are the last, you stubborn idiot. Even Maglor came back over the sea earlier. He’s in Alqualonde, atoning for his deeds as he never died and thus was not judged by Namo. Curufin is here, but I doubt he noticed your arrival. You know how he gets when he is working. He decided Formenos is his and lives here all year. His inventions and jewellery are very sought after, even with him being feanorian. Celegorm… vanished in the deep forest. I think amme hears from him now and then, but he keeps away from people. Caranthir lives in Tirion, he’s… selling other people’s crafts and taking a piece of their profit for it. You’ll have to ask him how that works.”

Maedhros smiled. He didn’t know if he should be worried for Celegorm and he was worried that Curufin lived up here all alone — although it eased his worry a little that the twins seemed to spend a lot of their summers here — but he was happy that they had been given another chance at life, too. He didn’t ask about their father. He knew they’d have told him if he were alive.

“And what are you two up to these days?”, he asked instead.

“Oh, you  know, being the irresponsible youngest siblings”, Amras laughed. “We go hunting a lot and sell the fur. We are pretty self-sufficient.”

“And we annoy our relatives”, Amrod added. “Curufin threatens to throw us out at least twice a week.”

Maedhros laughed and felt tears prick at his eyes. “It is good to be back. It is so good to see you, little brothers.”

The Oath was gone. By the grace of Eru they had been released. That didn’t mean everything was over, but it meant they could finally make a new start.

Later, Maedhros knocked on he doorframe of the forge, waiting for Curufin to notice him. He felt his throat tighten with emotion. So many memories of their father working here… Curufin turned around, a look of annoyance on his face — and froze.

“Ambarussa tell me you bury yourself in the forge, so I decided to come and look for you.”

“Maedhros.” A look of relief crossed his brother’s face. “I was wondering… but you are here.”

To Maedhros surprise Curufin came over and hugged him. “I’m sorry”, he said.

“For what?”, Maedhros asked. “You did not do me any wrong.”

“No?” Curufin grimaced. “I did not trust you to be right when you gave the crown to our uncle. I know now you were right and I’m sorry for doubting you. I’m sorry for doubling down on the Oath when…”

Maedhros shook his head. “I would have gone that way anyway. It is over and done, for better or worse. How are you doing?”

“Quite well actually. It seems it’s fashionable to own something made by the notorious Curufinwe Feanárion.” Curufin curled his lip.

“I didn’t mean financially”, Maedhros said gently.

“What do you want me to say?” Curufin shrugged. “I’ve made up with Felagund but… I doubt it’s ever going to be he same again. I hate how people look at me on the street, I can’t stand Tirion. But I’ve always liked this place — and I can keep an eye on Tyelko that way.”

“So you are in contact with him?” Maedhors didn’t persist, he could see Curufin didn’t want to talk about himself.

“Yes, sporadically. He wants to get into Orome’s good graces again, at least he says so, I’m not sure if he’s dared yet to actually approach him.”

“We all have that one person that’s harder to meet than anyone else, I guess”, Maedhors mumbled, thinking of Nolofinwe.

“Fingon?”, Curufin asked with raised eyebrows. “Let me give you one piece of advice I wish I’d followed: Don’t wait too long. It makes it only more awkward than it already is.”

Maedhros didn’t correct him about his guess. At least there wasn’t any possibility of delaying his meeting with Nolofinwe for too long. He couldn’t risk insulting the High Kings.

“I’ll start on my way to Tirion tomorrow”, he said. “The twins are coming with me.”

“Good, get them finally out of my hair.”

Maedhros chuckled. “They mentioned you threaten to throw them out of here on a regular basis. Just like old times, eh?”

Curufin smiled wryly. “Almost. Yes. It’s good to have you back, big brother. We all missed you.”

“I missed you too”, Maedhros said softly, not meaning his time in Mandos.

Curufin swallowed hard. “Now let me get back to work, will you?”, he snapped gruffly and Maedhros left him with a smile on his lips. Yes, he had come home.

Chapter End Notes

In this fic I'm going with "The Shibboleth of Feanor", where Amrod is the younger twin and is burned with the ships.

Maedhros smiled at his mother who sat beside him on the stone-bench. They’d both cried a little at their reunion and then moved to the garden, Ambarussa had vanished with their grand-parents to give him and Nerdanel some privacy. Maedhros breathed the sweet scents deeply, the garden was the pride and joy of his grand-mother and he remembered many happy hours playing quietly with Maglor in the shade of the old willow.

He stroked the petals of a rose blossom with the tips of his fingers. It still felt a little strange to have his right hand back — he vaguely remembered that he’d made the decision to be reborn with it.

“I take it, Lauremíre did not accept Curufin back into her home?”, Maedhros asked. “Curufin didn’t talk about her at all and I didn’t poke him, but…”

Nerdanel sighed. “He waited too long to speak to her, she took it amiss and he’s too proud to beg her for forgiveness again. If Tyelpe were here to mediate between them, maybe... but the things that happened between them…” Lauremíre had opposed Curufin in Nargothrond and had stayed with Tyelpe when her husband and Celegorm had been chased out. She’d died when the dragon came.

“He’s not ready, yet”, Maedhros said softly. In Mandos he’d hidden from everyone, but Tyelpe had been one of the people who’d been allowed to find him anyway and Maedhros had immediately understood, why. His nephew had been in so much pain -- pain Maedhros could understand so well. (He’d pointedly ignored the feelings of love the boy had felt for his torturer.)

He knew better than to suggest intervening themselves. Curufin didn’t like his family to meddle. Nerdanel reached for his hand and held it between both her own.

“I’m so happy that you finally are, my son. Do you have any plans? There would be room for you here, if you want it.”

Maedhros kissed her cheek. “I’d love to settle here.” He’d always gotten on well with Mahtan. “But there are things I need to do first. Beyond that I don’t dare to make any plans.” He did not even dare to think too much about the immediate and unavoidable future. He was quite sure that seeing Nolofinwe with Anaire would break his heart.

“Of course. Just know that you have a place in my heart and home, always.” Nerdanel laid her hands on his cheeks and kissed his forehead and Maedhros felt tears prick at his eyes again.

“I love you, amme”, he croaked.

~*~*~

Maedhros knelt before the two thrones and bowed his head. It was a day of audience, a lot of people were there but it had become deadly silent when he was recognised.

“King Arafinwe, King Nolofinwe, I greet you.”

“We are happy to see you alive, nephew”, Arafinwe said and motioned for him to stand up with a smile. “It’s ‘Maedhros’ now, yes?”

“If it pleases you, Your Majesty.” Arafinwe had of course never called him that, but he wasn’t Maitimo anymore.

“You can choose your own name, Maedhros.”

“I want to assure you of my loyalty and obedience to you. I stand by my abdication.” He felt a sigh of relief go through the hall, as if they’d expected something else.

“And we welcome you in Tirion, Prince Maedhros. Know that we view your punishment for your deeds served in death and that my father-in-law is of the same mind.”

“Thank you”, Maedhros croaked, bowing deeply. “May I thank King Olwe in person?”

Arafinwe nodded. “That would be welcomed. I will inform him that you ask for a conversation.”

“Thank you.” Maedhros risked a glance at Nolofinwe who hadn’t said a word. He looked pale, his lips narrow and Maedhros’s heart sank. He didn’t look happy to see him.

“You have a long journey behind you, Maedhros. Surely you wish to rest. There’ll be time to talk later”, Arafinwe said and Maedhros bowed a last time to his uncles.

“Yes, Your Majesty. Thank you”, he said and retreated.

He hadn’t walked far when he heard quick steps following him. Maedhros turned around and saw Fingon hurry towards him with a huge smile on his face.

“Maedhros!” He stopped, a step short of embracing him. “You’re returned!” He reached for his hand — his right — and kissed his knuckles. “Whole.”

Maedhros hugged him. “I don’t think I ever thanked you properly for rescuing me", it was long over, but he felt that he needed to say it. "Thank you. You have always been my best friend. I love you.”

Fingon hugged him back. “My dearest friend. I love you, too. Have you spoken to my father, yet?”

“Not in private. I don’t think I should… I mean… your mother…” Maedhros stuttered, not sure if Fingon wanted him to talk to his father.

Fingon smiled at him. “Talk to him. I don’t know to what conclusion they came, but she did take him back after he told her about you.”

Maedhros felt awkward just thinking about that conversation between Anaire and Nolofinwe. “Thank you”, he said. “For your blessing.”

Fingon shrugged and blushed. “I want you happy — all three of you if possible. Did you have a tiring journey? I’d like to talk to you, but if you feel exhausted…”

“I’m not too exhausted to spend time with you.” Maedhros smiled at him. “Your room.” Fingon nodded and steered them down the hallway.

Nolofinwe knocked at Maedhros’s door. He’d quickly taken his leave from his brother after the audiences were over. He had to talk to Maedhros in private. He’d wanted to embrace him when he’d entered the throne room, had been hard pressed to not burst into tears — making everyone see what he felt for him. Maedhros opened, a startled look came to his face before he bowed deeply.

“My king”, he said. “I didn’t expect you.”

“Can I come in?”, Nolofinwe asked.

“Of course.”

He could understand that Maedhros was nervous. The things he’d done… but he tried to feel it as they propagated it. Everyone who was allowed to leave Mandos was considered to have served his sentence. He’d been relieved when Olwe had agreed, although he knew that not all Teleri were happy about it.

“Maedhros.” He embraced him as soon as the door was closed. “I missed you so much.”

Maedhros pulled him closer and sobbed into his shoulder. “You idiot!”

Nolofinwe laughed surprised. “I am the idiot?”

“Yes!” Maedhros looked at him with anguished eyes. “Can you imagine how it was for me — for me and Fingon — when you fell. Single combat against Morgoth?! How could you? How could you do this to us?”

“I… didn’t see another way”, Nolofinwe answered hesitantly. He still remembered his anger, his despair after the Dagor Bragollach. It had been the moment he’d seen that they’d never win against Morgoth. He had known he couldn’t defeat Morgoth in single combat either. “I thought, we were lost. I wanted to at least try to take revenge for my father — for what he did to you — before he defeats us.”

“And it didn’t occur to you what your death would do to us?” Maedhros asked agonised. “It hurt so much to hear of your death! If I hadn’t felt so strongly that I couldn’t leave my brothers to fulfil the Oath alone, I would have died then and there.”

Maedhros held him so tight that Nolofinwe could barely breathe. “I’m sorry”, he whispered. “I’m so sorry. I…” He took a deep breath. “Would you like to punish me for the pain I caused you, my prince?” He wasn’t exactly sure where they were standing with each other, if Maedhros would want to come back to that or not.

Maedhros stepped back a little and looked seriously at him. Nolofinwe missed his warm arms around him already. “I thought, all crimes are considered atoned for in death?”

“They are. But we were close and some things are too personal to bring before a court. Some things have to be worked out in private.”

Maedhros cupped his cheek with his hand — his right hand, his body was as unblemished as before his captivity — and Nolofinwe leaned into the touch. “How could I punish you for this, when I did so much wrong myself. You must have been so horrified to hear about my crimes.”

“I was”, Nolofinwe said and felt Maedhros wince. “I thought, I knew you and then I heard about you murdering innocents — in the name of the Oath. I almost couldn’t believe it. But you’ve been in Mandos for a long time and I know that the way Námo heals is not easy and how the longing for a body is pain and punishment. I was horrified, but I know what despair led me to do and I think it also was despair that led you down this dark road.”

“Better if I’d thrown myself against Morgoth like you did”, Maedhros said bitterly. “And do less harm that way. But thank you for your kind words. I… do you really want to continue our relationship? What about your wife?”

“My wife knows. After I came back… I felt I needed to tell her, so she knew everything about me before deciding whether she wanted to take me back or not. She knows that I’d want to continue this relationship with you, if you came back. Now that you are, we’ll have to talk again, but… I hope we’ll find a way to come to an arrangement favourable for all of us. So the answer is yes, if you’ll have me, I want to be your núro again. I love you.”

Maedhros had tears in his eyes as he leaned forward to kiss him. “I do not deserve this”, he whispered against his lips. “But I will give you whatever you want. I love you, too.”

Nolofinwe didn’t think that was exactly the right mindset, but they’d have time to work it out. Maedhros must still feel unbalanced from returning to live. He knew from own experience that it took a while to get used to it again.

“I heard, Maedhros is back”, Anaire said, when Nolofinwe sat down with her for dinner.

“Yes, he is.”

She could see that Nolofinwe was trying to not show her how happy that made him, but he was practically glowing. “And you still want to be with him.”

“Yes. With you both, if I can. I’m sorry.”

Anaire sighed, trying not to be jealous. She’d known this would happen if Maedhros was reborn, but now that the time had come… “You expect me to hide this secret for you. Are you sure the Valar won’t intervene?”

“They didn’t the first time. This is between me and you, Anaire. If you tell me to stay away from him, I will. It will hurt, but I will.” His joy had dampened at the thought. Anaire knew he’d do as he said if she asked it of him, but he would be miserable. Would he come to hate her in time for keeping him away?

“I don’t ask it of you”, she said. “I want to believe, that your love for him won’t lessen your love for me.”

“It won’t.” Nolofinwe reached over the table to touch her cheek. “I love you. I won’t leave you for him. Maybe something is wrong with me that I can love two people, when there should be only one, but I can’t change it. I’m dependent on your goodwill.”

“I don’t want you to feel that way”, Anaire said, leaning into his touch. “You don’t have to be grateful for my decision. I love you and I want you to be happy. I won’t force you to stay away from someone you love. And I want you to be able to have your desires fulfilled. I can’t do that. Be with him.”

Nolofinwe smiled at her. “You are wonderful, my love.”

“I’m not sure, I won’t be jealous. I’ll try not to be.”

“If you ever feel that way, tell me, I’ll want to know. I care.”

“I want to see him. I think we should be both there, when he hears of my decision.”

“You are right. I won’t hide from you when I’m with him. I did that enough. I’ll be honest with you.”

It felt good to hear him say that. She realised the idea that he would meet Maedhros without her knowing it, had bothered her. The knowledge that Nolofinwe wouldn’t hide from her eased her heart. Maybe she wouldn’t be jealous after all, if he shared it with her.

Maedhros felt extremely awkward, sitting in an armchair in Anaire’s library, her and Nolofinwe across from him on a couch. He loved his aunt, he’d never wanted to cause her pain — he’d tried very hard not to think of her and that she might find out about him and Nolofinwe, when they’d all still lived in Aman. He wondered, what exactly Nolofinwe had told her, how much he’d gone into detail. He felt his ears heat at the thought of her knowing all the things he’d done to Nolofinwe over the years, and knew the blush was showing on his fair skin.

Anaire had greeted him civilly, had told him she was glad that he was alive, but there had been a coldness in her eyes he’d never seen there before — not directed at him at least. She’d offered him tea and cookies and he’d accepted because he didn’t want to offend her, though he wasn’t sure he could get anything down. His stomach was a nervous knot.

“I’m sorry, aunt”, he blurted out when he felt the uncomfortable silence had stretched on too long. She lifted her eyebrow at him.

“But you would do it again”, she stated. It wasn’t a question and Maedhros felt himself blush even more.

“Yes”, he admitted. “I’m sorry, if we — Nolofinwe and I — caused you pain through our actions, but… yes, I’d do it again. I can’t regret the time I spent with Nolofinwe, they were among the happiest of my life. After Fingon rescued me, I… don’t know what I would have done without Nolofinwe.” He couldn’t stop his voice from breaking there. Death had taken away the worst edge of the memory of Angband, but it wasn’t gone.

Anaire’s gaze softened a little. “And I don’t begrudge you the comfort you got that way.” She shared a look with Nolofinwe. “When I decided to stay in Aman after the Kinslaying happened, I made the decision to leave my husband, though at the time I felt like he was leaving me — today I say we were both at fault. I still think it was right to return, I wish Nolofinwe had listened to me, but I also understand that he didn’t want to let our children and the people who looked rather to him than Feanor go on alone. I would care less, if it had started after our separation, but that you hid it from me all those years…” She shook her head.

Nolofinwe gently laid his arm around her, Maedhros knew they must have already talked about this at length, he doubted she’d have been ready to have him here otherwise.

“Can I do anything to make this up to you, aunt?”, Maedhros said.

He’d always loved her. His mother and Anaire had been close, they’d visited each other all the time, Fingon had sometimes felt more like an additional brother than a cousin for all the time they were spending together. But he’d loved being with Nolofinwe more.

She sighed and shook her head. “Nolofinwe and I talked a lot since his rebirth and he’s been completely honest with me about his sexual preferences. I understand now some things I couldn’t place before, but I still can’t satisfy these urges — it is not for me. To be honest, I feel less and less interested in sex. We decided, we don’t want another child, so there’s really not much reason to have sex, where I’m concerned.” She held his eyes and Maedhros barely dared to breathe. “I love Nolofinwe and he loves me, but I can accept that there might be a third party in our relationship who can fulfil his desires — at least I’m willing to try, for his happiness.”

Maedhros bowed his head to her. “That’s very gracious and generous of you. Thank you.” He felt himself relax and only realised now how tense he’d been. He’d been half-afraid she would make Nolofinwe banish him from Tirion so they’d not see each other. “I have to ask: You say that you cannot satisfy these urges. But would you like to be involved in some way? I’m very sure, that Nolofinwe would like it if you were to watch me dominating him, for example.” Maedhros suppressed a smile at the look of dread and excitement flitting over Nolofinwe’s face along with a bright blush.

Anaire cocked her head, her eyes going back and forth between them. “I’ll have to think about this before I say yes or no. It is an idea that did not occur to me.”

“Yes, of course”, Nolofinwe said. “But so you know, Maedhros is right. I’d like you to watch.”

Anaire smiled up at him and kissed his cheek. “We’ll see, my dear.”

Maedhros was glad that they seemed not to have fallen out with each other because of him. He’d have hated to come between them — and still wouldn’t have been able to stop himself wanting Nolofinwe. He knew he was selfish and he was relieved Anaire didn’t force him to show just how selfish he was.

*~*~*

Nolofinwe stepped into Maedhros sitting room, where Maedhros… no, Prince Nelyafinwe. The play had begun when he’d received his prince’s note that he wanted to see him immediately a few minutes ago. Nelyafinwe was sitting in a comfortable armchair, holding a glass of wine and reading in a book. His eyes flicked to him but then turned back to the page. Nolofinwe’s heart beat quickly as he knelt down beside his prince’s seat. He waited trembling with excitement as Prince Nelyafinwe continued to read to the end of the page before closing the book and laying it on the table on the other side of his chair. A spark shot through Nolofinwe’s body as his prince’s hand came down to stroke his loose hair, his arousal already straining against his trousers.

“It’s been a long time”, Nelyafinwe said, lifting Nolofinwe’s chin with his fingers. “Do you still want to please your prince, my núro?”

“Yes, Prince Nelyafinwe”, Nolofinwe answered without hesitation. “I missed you so much. Take me as your own, please.”

Another shiver ran down his back when Nelyafinwe smiled at him. “I will, núro. Now, I want to look at you. Get up and undress for me.”

Nolofinwe stood up quickly and stepped in front of his prince. His fingers were clumsy when he opened the fastenings of his simple shirt and trousers. Prince Nelyafinwe sipped from his wine, his eyes wandering over his naked body. Nolofinwe blushed as his gaze came to rest on his already hard cock.

“Eager to please me then”, his prince drawled with a smirk. He spread his legs and beckoned him closer by crooking his finger. His hands — both his hands — slid over his thighs, kneading his buttocks. “Do you know what is the first thing I want to do with you, now that I have my right hand again?”

“No, my prince”, Nolofinwe whispered and moaned when Nelyafinwe’s nails left tingling lines on his skin. “I’ll spank you, my núro.” Nelyafinwe’s tongue came out to lick a circle around his navel. “Until your skin glows and my palm burns.”

Nolofinwe felt his cock twitch, an aroused whimper came over his lips. It would be so good to feel that delicious pain again.

“And you’ll enjoy it, núro, won’t you?”, his prince said, his thumbs stroking Nolofinwe’s hipbones. “You’ll enjoy me using you as I please, taking my pleasure from your body.”

“Yes, my prince.” Nolofinwe’s answer turned into a loud moan as his prince wrapped his fingers around his arousal.

“Don’t forget that this is mine”, he said sternly. “Or I’ll have to cage you — and you won’t like the punishment.”

“I know, my prince. I won’t forget it.”

“Well then, núro. Why are you still standing? Over my lap.”

Nolofinwe hurried to obey, his loose hair falling around his face, as he bowed forward. His prince’s palm slid over his buttocks, then a finger dipped between them, rubbing his oiled entrance.

“Later”, his prince said, pushing the tip of his finger inside. “Later I’ll fuck your tight hole and enjoy your muscles clench around my cock, but first…”

He pulled out, his hand coming down hard on Nolofinwe’s skin. Soon a delicious burn was spreading warm over his buttocks, his cock was throbbing.

Nolofinwe was squirming on his lap, giving soft cries with every slap. His motions created a delicious friction on Maedhros cock, pulsing in the confines of his trousers… but he enjoyed teasing him for it more.

“Now now”, he said. “I know you can take this, núro. Don’t try to get away.”

Maedhros reached for his núro’s right wrist with his left hand and pulled his arm on his back, holding him down. How much he enjoyed to have two hands again and be able to do this! Nolofinwe went limp.

“Good boy”, Maedhros crooned and gave him a few more slaps before stopping to admire his work.

Nolofinwe’s buttocks and upper thighs were glowing brightly in an even red — not as dark as if he’d used a belt or paddle, but he’d enjoyed it so much to do this with his right hand again. Nolofinwe whimpered softly when he rubbed the hot skin with his palm. Maedhros moved his thigh a little, the fabric of his trousers was wet with pre-cum where Nolofinwe’s arousal was straining against his leg.

“You please me so much, my núro”, Maedhros croaked, sliding two fingers inside Nolofinwe’s oiled passage. “Now, I hope you prepared yourself well for me, because I’m impatient to find my release inside you”, he said and felt his núro tremble with arousal. He’d never risk to injure him, of course, he could feel that he was ready for him, but he knew that Nolofinwe enjoyed him talking like that — the illusion of the prince who felt entitled to do anything he wished to his núro.

Maedhros gripped Nolofinwe’s hair and pulled him to his feet as he rose. His face was flushed, eyes bright and pupils blown wide. Maedhros kissed him roughly, pulling him closer rubbing their cocks against each other, their moans mingling.

“Kneel on the armchair”, Maedhros gasped, letting go of him.

He needed to get inside him or he’d spill inside his trousers — an embarrassment that hadn’t happened to him since he’d been in his youth. He quickly freed his cock as Nolofinwe knelt on the seat, legs spread as wide as possible, bracing himself against the backrest. Maedhros quickly slicked himself with oil, the feeling of his own hand around his cock almost too much, before sheathing himself inside his núro’s passage with one deep thrust that rocked Nolofinwe forward. Maedhros knew, he’d come soon and this first time, he wanted Nolofinwe to find his release, too — later he’d make him suffer a little. He gripped his hips, angling him so each of his thrusts met his núro’s prostate.

“Come for me, núro”, he moaned as he wrapped his trembling fingers around Nolofinwe’s arousal and stroked him quickly. Blinding pleasure shot through Maedhros’s body as Nolofinwe bucked against him, his passage clenching around his cock.

Nolofinwe squirmed into a comfortable position as they migrated to the bed, made a challenge by the various bruises Maedhros had left on his body. He hurt, but it was a good hurt, aches that came from time shared with his lover. Maedhros kissed his forehead, his hand — his right hand! — caressing his side.

“How do you feel?”

“Happy.” Nolofinwe smiled at him. “Happy that you’re alive and here with me. We feared for you, you know?”

“We? I doubt there are many, who missed me.”

“Findekáno, your brothers, your people. Me. Your mother, have you seen her, yet?”

“I visited her on my way here. But I’d like to stay longer with her later.”

“You should. It is true that not everyone is happy, that Feanor’s sons should walk among the living again, but there are people who love you. We looked for you in Mandos.”

Maedhros shuddered. “I didn’t want to be found by you — or Fingon — after… after everything I did.” Nolofinwe held him tight as Maedhros started to sob. “What I did in the name of the Oath is unforgivable.”

Nolofinwe stroked his back silently. He’d heard of the Kinslayings in Doriath and at the Mouths of Sirion and had been appalled. Maedhros had been intense in battle, driven by his hatred for Morgoth, but Nolofinwe wouldn’t have thought that he’d point that at innocents. The Oath had indeed become powerful.

“That’s what mercy is for”, he said gently. “I cannot absolve you of the wrongs you have done to others, but if Eru himself — as it is said — has released you from your unwise Oath and the Judge deems your crimes atoned for, you should accept their mercy.”

“I’m not sure I can.” Maedhros wiped his eyes. “When I noticed it was Mandos and not the Everlasting Darkness, I still thought I’d never be alive again — I didn’t want to. And when I wanted to again, I considered the ache of my fea longing for a body a just punishment. It’s hard to believe we should be given this mercy — not just by the Powers, but by the people I hurt. I know it wouldn’t be possible without their agreement, Namo made that very clear at the Prophecy of the North.”

“Talk to Olwe”, Nolofinwe said. “Maybe things will get clearer then.” Maedhros nodded nervously and he offered: “Should I come with you?”

Maedhros smiled and shook his head. “Thank you, but no. I have to do this alone.”

“As you wish.” Nolofinwe kissed Maedhros’s forehead. “Don’t be too hard on yourself. And if you want to do something productive, I’m sure there’ll be ways to do some good for them.”

“Thank you.” Maedhros leaned into him. “You know, I’m so glad that there’s no rush for you to leave.”

“Me, too.” Nolofinwe stretched and repositioned himself, tugging his head under Maedhros’s chin and throwing his leg over his thigh. “You know, when I came back and told her the truth, I feared it would be the end of us, instead it was a new beginning. To be able to share this now with you, feels almost too good to be true — like a dream.”

Maedhros laughed. “I was reborn into a dream and you and Anaire made it so.” He lifted Nolofinwe’s chin and kissed him slowly. “I love you.”

Nolofinwe felt his heart make a happy flip. “I love you, too”, he answered and moaned as Maedhros’s nails scratched over his tender backside. “My prince.”

Maedhros chuckled. “This time, núro, you won’t get your release so easily. I so love to see you mad with pleasure.”

Nolofinwe let himself be rolled on his back and craned his head back to watch as his prince tied his wrists to the bed-frame. He enjoyed to see his hands work together. His prince looked down and smiled at him. “Some things are so much easier again.”

Anaire was already up and eating breakfast when Nolofinwe came home, walking with a slight limp but looking happy. She’d lain awake for a long while, wondering about the things he and Maedhros where doing but not knowing what to imagine.

“Good morning, love.” He came over to her and kissed her, his lips looked slightly swollen and Anaire knew it was because he’d kissed Maedhros.

“Did you have a good night?”, she asked. A bright smile came to his face. Before he could answer and before she could lose her courage, she added: “Will you tell me about it?”

Nolofinwe blushed brightly. “I will, if you want me to”, he said, pulling a chair over so he could sit beside her. He sat down gingerly, as if in pain.

“Are you hurt?”, Anaire asked, worry closing in on her heart.

“No! Well… not really.” Nolofinwe smiled wryly. “I’m just a little sore.” He reached for her hands and held them, meeting her gaze. “My prince…” He coughed, his face reddening even more. “That’s what I call Maedhros, when we are together like this. He spanked me, because we both enjoy it, before he had me. He tied me down”, Nolofinwe slid up his sleeve and Anaire could see a slight redness around his wrists, where the bonds must have been, “and teased me for… long enough that I lost track of time. I’m not allowed to come without his permission.”

“But why?”

“Because it is an arousing feeling to give the power into his hands. And it is so satisfying to be able to endure it. It makes an orgasm so much sweeter.”

Anaire huffed a laugh. “I’m not sure if that’s something that needs improving. Very noldorin of you to think it does.”

Nolofinwe laughed and Anaire felt a knot loosen in her chest. Maybe not taking what she knew about the things they were doing in bed too serious was the best way to go about it.

“I feared you’d feel repulsed”, Nolofinwe said softly.

“No.” Anaire lifted his hand to kiss the reddened skin of his wrist. “I don’t understand it, but I can see the happiness in your eyes.” She still felt a strange curiosity and she wasn’t sure if it was appropriate. But then, Nolofinwe’s doings weren’t exactly appropriate either and he’d been so honest with her. She wanted to be honest with him, too. “Will you… tell me more? How did Maedhros tease you?”

Nolofinwe hesitated, licking his lips, but he did not deny her. “His hands were all over my body, stroking, scratching, pinching. And his mouth followed. Sometimes his lips barely brushed my neck, sometimes his teeth graced my nipple, sometimes he sucked a bruise into the skin of my thigh. I was writhing under his touch, aching for more.”

Anaire could see that recounting the events had an effect on Nolofinwe and a warmth was growing inside her, too, as she imagined him lying there panting and aroused. She almost reached out to slide her hand up his thigh and cup his arousal. But it was Maedhros, who he was thinking about, wasn’t it? Would he even want her touch now?

“He brought me to the brink, again and again, until I thought I couldn’t take it any longer — and then a little more. He took me again, so slowly it made me beg him to move faster.”

Nolofinwe’s voice was husky, his face flushed again — not with embarrassment but arousal now — he squirmed on his chair. Anaire felt her nipples harden. She had been brought up in the belief that the coming together of husband and wife, the making of children, was something sacred and pure. But bringing children into the world took a lot of strength and Nolofinwe had shown her that having sex without that intent could be quite nice in the meantime. For all that she teased him for his frivolity, she had always enjoyed sharing his bed. She knew it had not been as often as he’d have wanted, it was rare that lust took her. But right now… her body sang with arousal at his words.

She bowed forward to kiss him passionately. They were still holding hands and she led his hand to her breast. Nolofinwe, after tensing in surprise at first, returned her kiss, their tongues meeting. His thumb moved in circles over her nipple, Anaire moaned softly. Nolofinwe’s other arm snaked around her waist and pulled her towards him, on his lap. Anaire rocked her hips, shuddering as through layers of fabric his hard cock stimulated her clit.

Nolofinwe had undone the laces of her bodice and broke their kiss to bow his head and suck her nipple into his mouth. Anaire uttered a breathless sound, her hips moving, seeking for stimulation, but it wasn’t enough, too much fabric, not enough friction. Nolofinwe gripped her around the waist and lifted her up to sit on the table. He grinned at her, his cheeks flushed, before pushing up her skirts and kissing her clit. Anaire leaned back, resting on her elbows, as he licked over her folds. She was wet, his finger slid easily inside her, Anaire moaned as he crooked it in just the right way. His tongue lapped at her clit, finger moving slowly. She reached up with one hand, rolling her hard nipple between her fingers. Pleasure rose inside her like a wave until it broke over her and left her shuddering and tingling. Nolofinwe looked up with a smile, his lips glistening with her desire.

“You liked that”, he said, eyes twinkling with joy. “You liked hearing what Maedhros did to me.”

“I did.” Anaire was a little embarrassed about it, but it was hard to deny. “You did, too. Come here.” She pulled him up and opened the laces of his trousers. His cock was hard and hot in her hand.

Nolofinwe moaned when she guided him inside her. “My love”, he croaked and gently laid her back on the table, rocking into her with slow motions. Anaire pulled him down for a kiss, tasting herself on his lips. He whispered her name again and again as he came.

The bell tinkled when Maedhros opened the door to the shop and ducked through. He’d already seen by the pieces in the shop windows that Caranthir was selling all manner of things here. A blonde woman with a scar on her cheek smiled at him from behind the counter and Maedhros walked over.

“How may I help you?”, she asked.

“I’m looking for my brother”, he said. “I’m told he owns this shop?”

“Oh!” He could see her scrutinising his height and hair and coming to the right conclusion. “Of course, Prince Maedhros. He’s in a meeting with a business partner, but I could maybe fetch him?” She sounded doubtful and Maedhros was sure that she was only offering because he was who he was. He knew how Caranthir reacted to disturbances of business matters.

“No need”, he said and saw her suppress a sigh of relief. “I’ll just look around a bit.”

There seemed to be a bit of everything. Fabrics, jewellery, pottery, catalogues with drawings of clothes, shoes, even furniture you seemed to be able to order here.

“Excuse me”, Maedhros turned around to the shop assistant again. “What exactly is this place? My brothers were a little vague about it. Don’t craftsmen usually sell their own works anymore.”

“They do, yes, but…” She averted her eyes then looked back at him purposefully. “Some of us can’t easily talk to strangers, even if it is in our own home. Your brother takes a percentage of the sales, but he makes it possible for our people to sell their craft in the first place. He has a good heart, your brother.”

Maedhros lifted his eyebrows. “Caranthir?” He doubted his brother had ever done anything that didn’t profit him — at least in his former life.

“He is way better than his reputation.” She glowered impressively at him and Maedhros decided to steer the conversation into a different direction.

“Who is ‘us’?”, he asked.

“Oh, the Angband-elves, of course, I thought you must know.”

“The what?”

She looked at confused as he felt. “The Angband-elves, us former slaves.”

“And why would you call yourselves Angband-elves?”

She shrugged. “I think Ecthelion came up with it. It’s what links us all together. We come from different backgrounds, but we’ve all been through the same hell. You’re one, too, you know. I’m Valde, by the way.”

“Maedhros”, he said mechanically, breathing deeply to push down the memories that had reared their heads at her words. “And I’m not…”

“Maedhros?” He turned towards his brother but his eyes stopped on the person who accompanied him.

He was tall, almost as tall as Maedhros himself — he felt himself straighten up instinctively and brushed the ceiling in the process — he was also very visibly an orc. The memories snaked into his brain against his best efforts. His hand was fumbling for a sword he didn’t wear, his heart thundering, cold sweat running down his body.

Caranthir, who’d seen him in this state before and knew how much he hated others noticing, said calmly: “Why don’t you make yourself comfortable in my office, brother? Just down the hallway, I’ll be with you in a minute.”

Maedhros walked past them, keeping the orc in his line of sight for as long as possible. He couldn’t believe that the Valar had let the likes of him into Valinor, he couldn’t believe his brother was trading with him. He couldn’t believe anything of this! He noticed that he was trembling and took deep breaths, trying to calm himself.

When Caranthir came back, Maedhros’s heartbeat had almost slowed to normal. “I’m sorry. If I’d known you were coming, I’d have planned Lantelen’s visit differently.” He opened a cupboard and took out a bottle and glasses.

“I can’t believe you are consorting with orcs!”, Maedhros said sharply but accepted the glass of clear liquid. The strong spirit burned down his throat.

Caranthir’s eyebrows rose up. “I think you aren’t yet up to date with events. And Lantelen isn’t an orc, even if he looks like one.”

Maedhros accepted another drink and leaned back. “What did I miss?”, he asked weakly.

“There are orcs on Tol Eressea”, Caranthir started. “When it became clear that the Valar would win, they were ordered to kill the elvish slaves — they decided to free them instead and the Valar allowed them a place in Aman for that. They get on pretty well with their telerin neighbours, but many Noldor are still wary of them, so I sell their wares and Lantelen is their agent.”

“And you trust them?”, Maedhros asked disbelievingly.

“The Angband-elves do.” Caranthir shrugged. “I figured, they must know.”

Maedhros shook his head and grabbed the bottle to fill his glass again. “I must be dreaming! When did you become a philanthrope? What’s in this for you?”

Caranthir grimaced. “You wound me, brother”, he said. “People can change, can’t they.”

“Sorry.” Maedhros blushed. “I’m just… a little unbalanced after running into your business partner.”

Caranthir waved his hand. “It’s alright. I’m living well on what I earn as middleman, but I also like to help these people sell their stuff for a good price. They were only selling by word of mouth before I became aware of them.”

Maedhros smiled to himself. Yes, that sounded more like Caranthir. He hated when things were done inefficiently.

“It’s good to see you, brother.” Caranthir reached over the table and squeezed his hand. “I’m glad that you are back.”

“It’s good to see you, too.” He looked happy, Maedhros thought, not as haunted as he’d seen him last. “Even if you’re making common cause with orcs.”

Caranthir chuckled. “I won’t hear the end of this, I can see.”

Maedhros grinned back, he already felt more magnanimous — the alcohol was burning pleasantly in his belly. “You can bet on it. Are you in contact with Maglor?”

“Yes. I’m visiting him regularly. He’s alright.”

“That’s good to hear.”

Maedhros hadn’t known what to think about the situation. It felt wrong to him that Maglor should atone for them all, as it felt to him, even if that wasn’t the official view.

“The Teleri are way nicer than we deserve. He’s carrying a lot of groceries, he says, and that’s about it. But you can talk to him yourself.”

“Oh, I will. I intend to pay my respects to King Olwe soon.”

Caranthir nodded. “Yes, I understand. Do you want some company?”

Maedhros shook his head. “I need to do this alone. But thank you for offering.”

Caranthir shrugged. “You’re my brother. And I know how hard it is to meet the people you wronged.” Caranthir’s eyes filled with grief and Maedhros wondered if one of he reasons his brother was keeping this shop was guilt. “But Olwe is a kind person. He won’t make it hart for you.”

Maedhros nodded gratefully. “Let’s see if we can get all of us together one of these days. I’d like to have a family gathering — and mother sounded like she’d like that, too, when I met her on my way here.”

“Yes, let’s try that. Also, if you need new clothes, I’d suggest you look through the catalogues in the shop.” Caranthir winked at him. “I can recommend all my tailors.”

Maedhros laughed. Caranthir might have developed a helpful streak, but he hadn’t changed that much.

Chapter End Notes

And this is the point were my AU starts to sneak into this fic. If you are as confused as Maedhros about what Angband-elves are and what orcs are doing on Tol Eressea, here's the fic to go to: Finding Lost Family

Maedhros heard whispers behind him as he followed the guard, who’d awaited him at the entrance to the city, across the market place towards the palace. Just his luck to arrive here on a market day and of course there was no chance he’d go unnoticed. But maybe he didn’t even want to. Maybe he hoped the people would take their revenge on him. It would be good to suffer for them.

He saw some of the orcs and shuddered. Nolofinwe had warned him about them when Maedhros had told him about his encounter at Caranthir’s shop. He did not wish to meet them, it seemed to him he could still feel the hands of his captors on his skin. He did not understand how the Teleri could live with them, accept them. He was a Kinslayer many times over, but those orcs had killed more elves than anyone in his family.

His heart constricted when his eyes fell on the memorial standing in the middle of the harbour square. They had done such a terrible thing — made even more horrible because they hadn’t learned from it. Maglor was sitting on the steps around it. His eyes widened when he saw him.

“I guess from the look on your face that no one bothered to tell you I’ve been reborn”, Maedhros said as he stopped beside him. He knelt and laid the flowers he’d brought at the feet of the statue of the mourning woman and almost fell back down the stairs when Maglor hugged him hard.

“You took your sweet time, brother”, he said, his voice thick with tears. “I missed you.”

“Oh, Maglor.” Maedhros hugged him back, feeling his own tears run over his cheeks. Nolofinwe had told him that his brother had been alive all this time. Wandering the shores of Middle-earth in loneliness. He could not imagine how hard this must have been for him. Maglor had always thrived in company. “I’ve heard you are here paying for the crimes of us all.”

Maglor shook his head. “No, just mine. King Olwe holds that you who died served your time in Mandos. But I never died. Five yeni of providing service to anyone who asks is not that long a time — I’ve wasted more. It’s not so bad, they treat me well and I’m often asked to play in one tavern or another. Have you come here to see the King? You shouldn’t keep him waiting.”

Maedhros let go of Maglor only reluctantly. “You are right. But I’ll be back, we can talk later. I missed you, too.” Maedhros realised that their reunion had drawn many more interested looks than he was comfortable with. He hurried on.

He breathed a sigh of relief when he entered the palace. Nolofinwe had offered to accompany him, but he felt like he needed to do this alone and not hide behind his kingly uncle. The throne-room was empty and the doors clanged too with an ominous sound. Maedhros knelt before Olwe and bowed his head.

“Nelyafinwe Feanarion, why have you come?”

“To present myself for punishment for the murders I committed. There is no excuse for what I did. I’m deeply sorry for it. If I were allowed to make amends, I would be very grateful.”

“You have been punished in Mandos”, Olwe said. “We defer to the judgement of the Valar. The people that were killed in the Kinslaying have long ago been reborn. It is enough that you have seen you did wrong. You have suffered enough. Rise.”

“But is there nothing I can do?”, Maedhros asked desperately as he stood up.

“You can”, Olwe said, holding his eyes. “You can make amends, if that is your wish, but that is your own decision, not my judgement. You are allowed to join your brother at the harbour square, to offer your services. People who need help of any kind know to come there. It’s going to be a lot of unloading ships and work of that kind.”

“That’s alright. I will do whatever is asked.”

Olwe nodded, Maedhros couldn’t read in his face if he was pleased or not.

Maedhros sat down beside Maglor. “You look well”, he said. A little sun-burned maybe, but unhurt and without the despair in his eyes he’d seen there in their last years.

“As I said, they treat me well. And it is strangely freeing to just wait here for someone to ask for my services.  Sometimes it’s hard work, but it is satisfying to pay them back for my crimes in the way they deem fit. I haven’t slept this well since before the Darkening.”

“Has there never been anyone who wanted to take revenge on you?”, Maedhros asked surprised.

“No.” Maglor smiled wryly at him. “I guess they are not as stained as we are. There have been some harsh words, but never so much as a slap. You are joining me?”

“Yes. Olwe allowed it, though he put no sentence on me.”

“I guessed so.”

“How many years are left of your sentence?”

“Three hundred and fifty-five sun-years.”

“Good.” Maedhros stretched his long legs. “Where do you sleep? I think I need a room.”

Maglor sighed. “I guess you’d want to join me for the whole time?”

“Will Olwe try to stop me?”

“Maybe try to talk some sense into you.” Maedhros opened his mouth to protest, but Maglor shushed him. “His view, not mine. I understand why you’re here. I have a room in the palace, Olwe sees me as his responsibility, there’s space enough for both of us.”

“Thank you.” Maedhros squeezed his hand.

“Excuse me.” A woman with a child on her hand and an empty basket on her other arm, had stepped towards them. “I don’t want to interrupt you, Maglor, but I could use some help.”

“Of course, Aureliel.” Maglor made to stand up, but Maedhros was quicker. “If you don’t mind, lady, I would be happy to take this task.”

“My brother. Maedhros”, Maglor said. “He is newly reborn and here to make amends, King Olwe allowed it.”

Aureliel nodded. “I don’t mind.”

Maedhros accepted the basket from her and followed her toward the market.

“So you intend to stay there with your brother?”, Nolofinwe asked. Maedhros had come back to Tirion to talk to him and pack his meagre belongings.

“Yes. To keep him company and to make what little amends I can.”

“That’s a noble goal. But I’ll miss you.”

They were in the guest room Maedhros had stayed in the short time he’d been in Tirion. He wondered, what had become of their family’s quarters. His mother lived with her parents and he hadn’t asked her, when he stopped there on his way to Tirion. There had been too much else to talk about.

“It’s very unfair that I have to let you go again so soon. It seems we are fated to have to live apart. But I understand”, Nolofinwe said and caressed his cheek. “Make amends and put your guilt behind you. And then come back to me.”

“I will.” Maedhros leaned into his touch, he was glad that he didn’t try to stop him. “And you can always visit me, it is not so far — we’ve been further apart.”

“Oh, I’m sure Olwe wouldn’t find it in the least suspicious, if I show up weekly.”

“He’d probably just think you want to have an eye on me. I don’t think he was terribly happy about my decision.”

“Maybe. But surely you can leave now and then. Even Maglor gets some time off to visit your brothers and mother.”

“Yes, maybe”, Maedhros said doubtfully. “It’s just… it feels frivolous to spend time I could give them like that.” Maedhros could have kicked himself right after the words had left his mouth. He didn’t want Nolofinwe to think he thought him less important.

“Making amends doesn’t mean you aren’t allowed to be happy”, Nolofinwe said, his eyes gentle. “You are allowed to have a life. And I’m not saying that only because I want you near me. Ask Maglor, I’ve told him the same more than once when Olwe summoned me to make him take a break.”

“Does he listen?”

“Not until I order him to.”

Maedhros chuckled. “Yes, that sounds like Maglor.”

“That also sounds like you. Don’t make me order you around.”

Maedhros smiled and kissed him gently. “I promise. I’ll make time for us.”

“Very good.” Nolofinwe had a sly smile on his lips. “I didn’t tell you, yet, but Anaire enjoyed to hear about our time together.”

“Did she?” Maedhros raised his eyebrows. “I’m happy for you, though I’m not sure if I should be embarrassed about her knowing.” It felt strange to think that his aunt heard everything about his plays with Nolofinwe.

“I think, we’re all a little embarrassed.”

“But that means, I can’t order you to remain chaste, can I?” Maedhros smiled slyly.

“I…” Nolofinwe blushed. “Unless a lot has changed since your return, Anaire usually isn’t much interested in sex. It was kind of unexpected… I’d enjoy to keep myself untouched for you, but I also don’t want to deny her.”

“I better talk to her”, although the thought made him feel even more embarrassed, “and see what she thinks about this.”

Maedhros had learned long ago to not let his fair skin show his feelings, but now he let the blush spread over his cheeks, let his aunt see how awkward he felt about talking with her about this. Anaire’s brows had risen up as he talked.

“You don’t mean by that, that you want to keep him to yourself, do you?”, she said with a hint of steel in her voice that told him it would not go well for him if he did.

“No!”, he hurried to say. “But he enjoys to not be allowed to come unless I give him permission — or you, maybe, if you are willing to play this game.”

Anaire cocked her head. “I am not a very lustful person”, she said. “So I doubt I’ll often intervene in your schemes. But if I do, I do not want you to get in my way.”

“Your pleasure before mine”, Maedhros answered.

He liked Nolofinwe aching for his touch and desperate for release, but he would not get into a fight with her about this. He’d known there would be compromises. He was lucky she let him have this at all.

Maedhros had been sitting in his customary place for a while, Maglor was running an errand, when suddenly, something large and white came screeching down at him. He had barely time to lift his hands protectively above his face before a sharp beak hacked into his skin, wings hitting him on the shoulders and arms. He cowered down, not daring to move his arms and leave an opening to the angry bird.

“Elwing!”, he heard someone shout and the punishment stopped.

When he dared to look up,  he saw a blond man, his arms wrapped around a woman whose eyes he’d never forget. She’d looked at him the same way shortly before she jumped over the cliff.

“Let go of me!”, she shouted, stamping on the man’s — he must be Earendil, Maedhros guessed — foot. Her face was flushed, her nose flaring with anger. Earendil only hugged her tighter.

Maedhros wiped his bloody, stinging hands on his trousers and knelt. “I’m sorry”, he croaked. “I’m so sorry for what I did to you. If I can do anything…”

“Maglor told us of our sons”, Earendil said. “Maybe you could share your memories, too. We had so little of them.”

Maedhros looked up and saw the pain in both their faces. His heart ached at the memory of Elrond and Elros crying themselves to sleep, missing their parents. “Of course”, he croaked. “Anything you want.”

“Then come”, Elwing said curtly.

Maedhros followed behind them, only realising where they led him, when Vingilot came into sight. His step faltered. The Silmaril was there, hanging in a lamp on the prow, closed for now. He tensed, expecting the Oath to rear its head, but nothing moved inside him. All he felt was an intense dislike to get too close to the thing. In his heart he knew it hadn’t been the Silmaril that had made them do dark deeds, but nonetheless it was at the core of all the darkness they had gone through. But Elwing looked at him with a challenge in her eyes and he did not want to look too weak to do as he was bidden. He followed them inside and sat down on a cushioned bench when he was told to do so. Elwing and Earendil sat down opposite him, waiting for him to begin.

“I miss them”, he said softly. “I know I have no right to. They are your children, not mine, but I came to love them.”

Maedhros opened his heart, telling every little story of the twins’s childhood that came to his mind. Tears were running down his cheeks. He’d betrayed them, too, in the end. Sending them to safety while making a last attempt at the Silmarils.

“I wanted to save them”, he said with a sob, speaking of another pair of twins, now. “I wanted to save your brothers so badly, when I heard what Celegorm’s men had done to them. But I couldn’t find them. I… I couldn’t…” His voice faltered. “Hurt me, if you must. You have every right to hate me and my kin.”

“We have not come to hurt you”, Elwing answered. “… a little bit, maybe. The Bird shows her feelings more freely than the Woman. But I do not delight in pain and you are giving your services in the way Olwe permits. I can accept that.” She sighed. “My brothers are save with Melian.”

“Thank you.” Maedhros sighed. “That soothes my soul.”

They parted a while later because Earendil had to rise back into the sky, but Maedhros felt his heart had lightened. He could never make up for what he had done to them, but he felt like he had eased some of their worries.

“I heard you had a run-in with Elwing”, Maglor said when he met him for dinner. “Are you alright?” He touched his cheek where her beak had left a mark.

“Yes. We… talked about the twins. And… I think they felt better for it.”

Maglor hugged him tight. “I miss them, too”, he said. “But Elrond is well — was well when I left. He has grown wise. He will be alright. And one day we will see him again.”

“And he will hate us for what we did to his family.”

“Maybe.” Maglor’s arms drew tighter around him. “But we will weather it because we love him.”

“Yes”, whispered Maedhros. “We will.”

Maglor had thrown him a disbelieving look when he’d told him he would be away for most of the night. Maedhros had told him little about his arrangement with Anaire and Nolofinwe, but his brother knew that his relationship with their uncle continued. An errand boy had slipped him a message this afternoon, to meet Nolofinwe outside the city. He was glad to see him after his meeting with Elwing and Earendil. It was as if Nolofinwe had known he needed him today.

It was night, but the full moon lit his way as he walked past the last houses. Alqualonde had never had a wall, there was no need for it in the peace of Aman. Nolofinwe waited for him sitting on a boulder beside the road, two horses dozing nearby. They wrapped their arms around each other and kissed for a long while. Maedhros felt the metal of Nolofinwe’s cage hard against his thigh, felt Nolofinwe whimper when his body reacted to their closeness.

“Shouldn’t it be the prince who calls for his núro?”, teased Maedhros.

“Not, if the prince is too wound up in regret to notice time fly by”, Nolofinwe growled. “Now shut up and kiss me.”

His hand gripped Maedhros hair and pulled him down for another kiss. Maedhros let it happen for a while, because it felt good to be wanted, but then he pulled back.

“Giving me lip, eh?”, he said with a grin, gripping Nolofinwe’s neck. “I think someone needs to be put in his place. Don’t worry, núro, you’ll get so much of my attention tonight that you wish you had kept silent.”

Nolofinwe shuddered, a moan leaving his mouth. He squeaked in surprise when Maedhros threw him over his shoulder and carried him to the horses, where he put him face down over one of the horses’ backs and mounted behind him. Maedhros slapped his backside when he started to struggle.

“Hold still or I’ll tie you up”, he threatened, reaching for the other horse’s reigns and riding slowly away from the city into the foothills of the Pelori.

He continued to fondle Nolofinwe’s backside, pinching and squeezing as he rode and his núro was breathing heavily when he reached a place far enough away from the last houses to not be heard and sheltered behind a large boulder, breaking the cool wind from the sea.

He helped Nolofinwe off the horse and said: “Undress while I find out what you’ve got in those saddlebags.”

Maedhros felt arousal settle warm in his belly as he went through the contents of the saddlebags. Some lengths of rope, plugs in various sizes and shapes, two paddles — leather and wood, a braided flogger, clamps, candles and a bottle of oil. Nolofinwe had clearly tried to leave the choice to him. The second bag held a bottle of water and some food. “Not bad”, Maedhros said turning around. He fell silent, enjoying for a moment the sight of Nolofinwe kneeling naked on the grass, his body silvered by moonlight. Maedhros stepped closer, cupping Nolofinwe’s cheek and lifting his chin.

“So beautiful”, he said softly. Nolofinwe opened his mouth when he slid his thumb over his lower lip. “And all mine.”

Nolofinwe kept quiet now, but his eyes said: ‘Yours.’

Maedhros reached for the rope and stepped around Nolofinwe, pulling his hands on his back and wrapping the rope around his wrists and arms. He felt elation at the easy way the intricate knots formed under his hands. Nolofinwe relaxed into his touches, shuddering with excitement as the rope dug into his skin.

“Now tell me”, Maedhros said sternly, gripping his núro’s chin and pulling his head back until he could look him in the eyes. “Did you find release in your wife’s arms?”

“No, my prince”, Nolofinwe croaked. “Though she seemed to enjoy teasing me.”

“Oh, did she?” Maedhros smiled wryly. Maybe Anaire was not so proper as she thought after all. “No wonder you sought me out.” He slid his free hand down Nolofinwe’s chest to tweak a nipple and enjoyed the gasp falling from his lips. “Do you think I will give you release, every time you come crawling?”

Maedhros saw Nolofinwe’s throat move when he gulped. “I’m here to serve your pleasure, my prince”, he answered.

“And I will take what is mine”, Maedhros whispered into his ear, licking along the rim. “And maybe later, if you beg me nicely…”

He let his hand slide lower down his núro’s body and wrapped it around the metal of the cage. Nolofinwe was trembling in his grip and he felt wetness on his fingers. Maedhros smeared the drops of pre-cum over his núro’s lips, letting him taste his own lust, before getting up and unsaddling the horses. He carried one of the saddles over and laid it down before Nolofinwe.

“Bow over it”, he ordered and patted his núro’s ass after he’d complied. Maedhros touched his own throbbing arousal. Soon. Soon he’d thrust into his núro’s slick, hot passage.

Nolofinwe listened for the sounds his prince made behind his back. He was drenched in sweat — already — each time his cock tried to stiffen, the cage sent a spike of pain through his body. His bound arms were a pleasant ache, reminding him of his helplessness. He saw the flicker of light behind him and knew his prince had lighted one of the candles. He gasped, his muscles tensing, when hot wax rand down his thigh. His prince spoke no word, varying height and time so Nolofinwe never knew when the next drops of wax would fall — or how hot they would be. His cock was aching in its confines, whimpers and little screams came over his lips.

His prince licked the sweat off his shoulders and nuzzled the damp hair at his nape, his cock nudged Nolofinwe’s entrance. He moaned as his prince entered him slowly. Nelyafinwe’s warm hand stroked his back. His thrusts were slow and leisurely, he was drawing out his pleasure.

“How I enjoy to feel you quiver under me”, his prince moaned into his ear.

His motion’s stilled and Nolofinwe trembled, keeping himself from rocking back. He held his breath when Nelyafinwe’s fingers fumbled with the lock of the cage.

“This is not permission”, his prince panted. “Be good for me.”

Nolofinwe moaned when the cage came finally off and his cock hardened. His prince continued to thrust into him, quicker now, and Nolofinwe only hoped there were no shepherds nearby, because surely their moans would be audible far off in the quiet night. He was shuddering at each thrust, his cock sliding along the smooth leather of the saddle.

“You are so close”, Nelyafinwe panted into his ears. “So close to find release and yet you hold back, because you want to be good for me. Isn’t it so?”

“Yes, my prince”, Nolofinwe whimpered. “I’m yours to command.”

His prince’s fingers dug into his hips, his thrusts becoming jerky as he came.

“So, your wife likes to tease you. How?”

Nolofinwe still lay over the saddle. His prince sat beside him, slowly peeling the cooled wax off his ass and thighs. Every touch sent a spark of pleasure through his body, he was aching with need.

“She asks me about us”, Nolofinwe croaked, his voice unsteady. “She knows it arouses me to remember our trysts. She says, she enjoys to see me squirm, knowing that I can’t find release without her or your help.”

His prince had informed him that he’d given Anaire one of the keys to his cage, before he’d left for Alqualonde.

“Does she know you’re here this night.”

“Yes. I…” Nolofinwe shivered as his prince slid a finger into his wet passage, crooking it in just the right way. “I wouldn’t be here if she objected.”

“And you were hoping, of course, I’d grant you release.” Nolofinwe could hear the glee in Nelyafinwe’s voice. He’d added a second finger and moved them slowly.

“Please”, whimpered Nolofinwe.

“You’ve pleased me well tonight”, Nelyafinwe said. “Beg me nicely enough and I’ll grant your wish.”

“I ached so much for you, my prince”, Nolofinwe said. Thoughts and words were increasingly hard to grasp. “I’m yours. I want… I want you, always. Want to be used by you. Please, my prince. Allow me to find release in your presence.”

His prince’s fingers wrapped around his cock and Nolofinwe squeezed his eyes shut, almost coming at the touch. He hadn’t been touched there for so long.

“My núro. My needy núro. But you’re also such a good boy for me. Come for me now.”

Nelyafinwe stroked his cock and Nolofinwe came, moaning his prince’s name.

They’d cleaned up at a small brook close by, the coldness of the water leaving goosebumps on their skin. Nolofinwe rubbed his arms where the imprint of the rope was still visible while Maedhros unpacked the food for a midnight-picnic.

“How do you feel? No numbness anywhere?”, he asked when he saw Nolofinwe’s motions.

“Everything feels alright.” Nolofinwe leaned into him for a kiss, then stroked his cheek where the mark of Elwing’s beak still showed. “What happened?”

“I had a conversation with a gull”, Maedhros answered with a wry smile. “Elwing is not very fond of me.”

Nolofinwe’s brows drew together in a sign of worry. “Are you alright?”

“Yes.” Maedhros sighed. “I’m glad she and Earendil sought me out. They were not as angry as I thought they would be — at least they didn’t show it. They asked about the twins.” He closed his eyes. “I did so much wrong.”

Nolofinwe pulled his head against his chest and stroked his hair tenderly. “Yes, you did. But taking in two children who’d lost their parents through your fault was not wrong.”

“We should never have gone after that Silmaril”, Maedhros croaked. “We caused so much suffering. But we knew we couldn’t fight Morgoth after the Nirnaeth Arnoediad. We were cowards, we chose the easier way and those innocent people paid the price for it.”

Nolofinwe said nothing to that, just kissed his head and held him until Maedhros’s silent tears stopped falling.

“Thank you”, Maedhros whispered. “I shouldn’t need comforting for something I did wrong, but…” It felt so incredibly good to be in his arms.

“Hush. You have a good heart and you regret it. And I’ll be always there for you when you need my comfort. Do you need me tonight? Want me to sneak into the palace with you?”

Maedhros laughed shakily. “No. It’s alright. Will you ride towards Tirion tonight or are you staying in Alqualonde?”, he asked. “I should have asked before, I didn’t dare to bruise your ass, in case you had a ride ahead, but it was very tempting.”

“I’m for home”, Nolofinwe said with a regretful look. “As you said, it would be rather suspicious, if I spent too much time in Alqualonde all of a sudden. And I wouldn’t need to, if you came home more often.”

“My mother is telling me the same, you know. I can’t.” Maedhros knew he was neglecting his family, but serving the Teleri felt more important to him right now.

“I know. I’m not really arguing.” Nolofinwe sighed. “I hope you don’t get into trouble for vanishing.”

Maedhros shook his head. “I’m not under a curfew. Maglor still thinks I’m mad, though.”

Nolofinwe groaned. “Don’t remind me. Is that room at your grandfather’s place still there, by the way?”

“I didn’t think to inquire, but I don’t see why not. Why?”

“Oh, I just… Anaire takes this with so much grace and I’d feel guilty making out with you in the same rooms I live with her.”

“But you’d still have to ride right home from there”, Maedhros answered. “I think you’re trying to save your ass.”

“Not at all, my prince.” Nolofinwe laughed. “Will you look into it?”

“I will. I’m sure we could also find a room somewhere in Tirion.”

“Yes, maybe. We'll find a way, I guess.”

“Always.”

It was still the same room under the roof, with a sloped roof and wooden beams, but it had evolved. It was no longer the shabby little room with old furniture that no one would miss. Nolofinwe looked around at the comfortable bed (with metal rings for easily tying things to it), the deep armchair (and the big, soft cushion on the floor before it. There was also a most promising wardrobe which likely held equipment. Nolofinwe shivered in anticipation when Maedhros draped his arm around his shoulders and kissed his cheek.

“Worth the travel?”

“Absolutely.”

It meant sneaking around, but not as much as it would have meant in Alqualonde or Tirion. Maybe he’d been more brave in his youth, but the thought of going to one of the places he’d frequented back then made him shiver — and not in a good way — it was much too dangerous to be recognised. He wondered if Mahtan knew about this place. He had to, hadn’t he?

“I thought so.” Maedhros grinned lewdly at him and whispered into his ear. “Later I’ll tie you up on that bed and fuck you through the mattress.”

Nolofinwe whimpered as his cock tried to harden in its confines. “Later?”, he breathed, moving his head so their lips almost touched.

“Hmm, yes.” Maedhros’s hand slid down his back to grope at his buttock. “I have more things in store for you tonight. Undress, núro.”

Nolofinwe obeyed slowly, letting his robes slide off his shoulders and knelt before his prince. Nelyafinwe’s warm hand caressed his shoulder up his neck and cupped his cheek.

“I’ll never stop being amazed at how beautiful you are on your knees, my núro.”

Nolofinwe let his eyes fall closed and leaned into the touch. His prince’s long fingers were combing through his hair, looping it into a bun.

“Will you give me your pain tonight?”, his prince whispered into his ear, his breath hot on Nolofinwe’s skin.

“Yes, my prince”, he croaked, a shudder running down his body. His cock twitched. He could hear Nelyafinwe chuckle.

He opened his eyes when his prince gripped him by the neck, gently but firmly and pulled him up, leading him to a beam with a ring screwed into it.

“Lift your arms”, his prince said and clasped his wrists in leather cuffs, the chain connecting them threaded through the loop above his head. Nolofinwe spread his legs, bracing himself. His prince’s hand slid down his arms and back, kneading his buttocks. He slipped his hands between his legs, fondling his balls before freeing his cock. Nolofinwe moaned softly as he hardened.

His prince stepped back and Nolofinwe heard the clink of a belt buckle. He sucked in his breath when the strap hit his shoulders, the burn following a few heartbeats later. Nelyafinwe built a slow rhythm, letting the pain flower each time before striking out again. Nolofinwe gasped, holding onto the ring he was chained to, his muscles tensing. Sweat was beading on his skin. He moaned loudly, enjoying the freedom of it — of not having to muffle his noises out of fear of being caught. His cock was throbbing, aching to be touched. His prince stepped closer, stroked his bruised skin with tender fingertips. Nolofinwe leaned into the touch, hanging his head and regaining his breath.

Nelyafinwe kissed his neck and rubbed his cock against his backside. “I want you.” His voice was husky. “I want you so much. I could fuck you all night.”

“Please”, Nolofinwe begged. “Yes, please.”

His prince chuckled and opened his pants. His cock slid hot along Nolofinwe’s cleft and he pushed back.

“Please, my prince”, he moaned.

“Hold still”, his prince ordered.

Nolofinwe’s thighs trembled with the strain of obeying as Nelyafinwe lined himself up, the tip of his cock nudging his opening teasingly. He breached him slowly, just a bit, before pulling out again. Nolofinwe whimpered, his body wanted to move back, impale himself on his prince's cock, but he held himself back, as ordered.

“Your submission is so arousing”, his prince groaned and entered him with a sharp thrust.

Nolofinwe gripped the ring tighter, pleasure making his knees weak, while his prince fucked him hard. His own cock was leaking, bobbing with every thrust. Shivers ran through him when Nelyafinwe angled himself just so to hit that sweet spot inside him. Their moans mingled. Nolofinwe could feel his prince come inside him and go still. His own body was thrumming with pleasure, ready, so ready. He knew he’d be able to come untouched, if only his prince would say the word.

Maedhros stepped back, his softening cock sliding out of his núro’s hole. He loved the sight of him. His shoulders burning red from the beating, his thighs slick with Maedhros’s release. He was trembling, still hard and aching for release, pearls of sweat were beading down his back. Maedhros smiled. He usually let him come when they met, but he liked to keep him on the edge as to when. He pressed himself against Nolofinwe's damp back, sliding his hands over his stomach, his chest, never reaching low enough to even brush his núro’s erection.

He pinched his nipples, eliciting a delightful moan, and rolled them slowly between his fingers. Nolofinwe’s head fell back against his shoulder and Maedhros nibbled at his throat, resisting the temptation to leave a mark only for a small moment. Nolofinwe moaned loudly as he sucked hard on the soft skin.

“You’re mine”, he growled, pinching his nipples harder and making Nolofinwe rise up on his toes with the pain. He chuckled. “No way out, núro. I’ll to with you as I please — all night.” He continued to torture his núro's nipples for a while, enjoying the trembling body in his arms. When he stopped, Nolofinwe was gasping and moaning with need. Maedhros quickly opened the cuffs and gripped Nolofinwe’s neck again, leading him to the bed.

“On your back, núro”, he ordered. He planned to put the rings on the bed to good use.

First he chained his wrists over his head again. He caressed Nolofinwe’s flushed skin and felt him shudder under his fingers. His own cock had started to harden again.

“Do you want me, núro?”, he breathed into his ear. “Are you aching for me?”

“Yes”, Nolofinwe answered and moaned. “Yes, my prince.”

“Good.”

Maedhros kissed him for a while, slipping his tongue into his eagerly opened mouth and nibbling on his lower lip. He rubbed his cock on his thigh and shuddered at the thought of soon being inside him again. He moved back and lifted Nolofinwe’s legs up to tie them to rings above his head. His núro hissed and squirmed a little when his weight came to rest on his bruised shoulders. Maedhros pushed a finger inside him.

“Slick with my seed”, he said, curling his finger to stimulate the spot inside him. Nolofinwe moaned loudly, tensing as he tried to move into his touch. “It’s going to ease my way when I fuck you again.”

He positioned himself and slowly slid into him. It took a lot of his self-restraint to not take him hard again — it helped that he’d already had him once. Nolofinwe’s muscles trembled around him. His erection was dark and leaking, Maedhros fisted it and Nolofinwe cried out in pleasure. Maedhros saw stars when he tightened around him and stilled, he didn’t want to come yet.

“Please”, Nolofinwe whimpered. He arched his back when Maedhros slid his thumb over the tip of his cock. “Please!”

“Not yet”, answered Maedhros, bowing forward and capturing his lips in a bruising kiss. His own cock throbbed in the tight confines of his núro’s passage and he rocked into him slowly, drawing out his pleasure and making Nolofinwe whimper and moan. “You sing so sweetly for me”, he chuckled and sucked another bruise under the tender skin of Nolofinwe’s neck.

His hand was still around Nolofinwe’s cock, lightly stroking, his fingertips teasing the heated flesh. His núro’s face was flushed, eyes dark with want. “So pretty”, Maedhros gasped, his release drawing closer. He quickened his thrusts.

“Come. Come now, núro”, he moaned, tightening his hold, stroking him in earnest now. His own orgasm rushed over him, when Nolofinwe found his release. He pulled out, weak in the knees and tired. But not too tired to not appreciate the look before him.

“I love to see you look so well fucked, núro.” He smirked when Nolofinwe blushed.

Maedhros untied him quickly and pulled him tight. “Today we can take our time”, he mumbled. “Snuggle and sleep a little.”

Nolofinwe kissed him sweetly and caressed his back with his hands. “That’s nice.”

Maedhros leaned his forehead against Nolofinwe’s shoulder and closed his eyes, letting his limbs relax and Nolofinwe’s touches lull him into sleep.

~*~*~

Maedhros quietly slipped out of the door looking around the courtyard. When he was sure the way was clear, he waved for Nolofinwe, who’d come down the stairs behind him, to go first. His heart was beating quickly, like every time they met here. The moments Nolofinwe came or left were always the riskiest.

He’d made careful inquiries about the special room, his contacts had told him that a lot of people were using it, not only those of Mahtan’s employees who leaned that way. His grandfather had to be aware of it, Maedhros was sure about that, but he’d still thought it better to not let him know that he wasn’t only visiting his mother when he came here.

Nolofinwe’s horse waited outside the little settlement, Maedhros hated to have him sleep outside afterwards, but they took care not to be seen with each other and one of the Kings of the Noldor would draw attention in every inn. Nolofinwe had almost reached the gate when someone stepped out of the shadows of the open-sided hall that was the forge.

“Wait a moment.” A blue light shone on Nolofinwe’s wide-eyed face as Mahtan uncovered the lamp he was holding. Maedhros stood rooted to the spot, staring at his grandfather, who seemed almost as shocked as Nolofinwe.

“You?”, Mahtan finally said, his eyes flicking to Maedhros. “I knew you were up to something, Maedhros. I know what’s going on when there’s a light in that window. But I didn’t expect…” His face became serious. “Come inside.” He motioned with his head to the forge and led them into a small study cluttered with design plans and letters of people who wanted to be his students.

“Please, don’t tell mother”, Maedhros begged.

“I won’t. As I said: I know what’s going on there. I don’t judge. People can be sure of my discretion.” He looked sternly at Nolofinwe. “Does your wife know?”

“Yes”, Nolofinwe answered firmly. “We have an agreement. Not that it is your business.”

Mahtan’s eyes flashed. “It is my business, if it happens in my house. We all know how ugly jealousy can become.” He sighed, rubbing his forehead. “Although I doubt the wisdom of you two sharing this… you are old enough to decide for yourself. I won’t lecture you. I originally just intended to tell my grandson that he doesn’t need to hide this from me — I didn’t think there could be another reason beyond the unusualness of your inclinations.”

“I wondered, if you knew, considering how many people I talked to were aware of this place.”

“Ah, you didn’t talk to the right ones, then.” Mahtan’s eyes glinted with humour. “Most come here to have privacy in a safe place, but occasionally more than one couple meet here to have a little community. Not up in the room but in the banqueting hall. I play bartender for them sometimes. Some of them are current or former employees of mine, they know they can trust me. It must be very lonely to have to hide this from everyone.”

“It is”, Nolofinwe said softly.

Maedhros met his eyes and could see the same longing there that had filled him at his grandfather’s words. Meeting other people like them. Not having to hide for a few hours. And also, maybe, satisfy that fantasy of Nolofinwe’s of being dominated in front of others.

“I don’t see a reason, why you shouldn’t meet them”, Mahtan said. “The first rule is that nothing leaves the hall. Not who you met there, not what happened. They all want to feel secure of that. They wouldn’t tell anyone about you.”

“Thank you”, Nolofinwe said. “We’ll think about it.”

Maedhros nodded, nervous at the idea of sharing a part of himself he'd so long kept private, but also excited about it.

“And thank you, too, for not trying to talk us out of this.”

Mahtan shrugged. “If your wife is alright with it… but know that if you hurt my grandson, I’ll not be so lenient.”

Maedhros snorted. “No need for threats, grandfather.”

Nolofinwe stood up. “I better leave now.”

“No, fetch your horse. I guess you came by horse? No need for you to sleep outside, if you can have a perfectly comfortable guest bed.”

“People would wonder”, Nolofinwe answered. “I won’t take the risk. But thank you.”

“As you wish.”

Maedhros had seen off Nolofinwe at the gate and now walked back to the house. Mahtan stood at the door, waiting for him.

“I don’t know what to say.” He shook his head. “He’s your uncle — and one of the ruling kings. Don’t you think you should keep a low profile?”

Maedhros sighed, rubbing the bridge of his nose. He felt tired. “Maybe”, he admitted. “I didn’t think he’d take me back, after… everything. And even less that Anaire would be inclined to accept it. But I love him.”

“So you’ve been doing this for a while”, Mahtan realised.

“Yes, since before father was exiled. You said it only a few minutes ago: It is very lonely to have no one to discuss your desires with. When we found out about each other… It felt so good to share this with someone I cared about.” He saw the frown on Mahtan’s face and hurried to say: “And before you get any ideas about his intents: I am the dominant in our relationship and he was very reluctant to enter into it. You said you wouldn’t judge.”

“I usually don’t but this is a special situation. You are my grandson and he is your uncle.” Mahtan held his gaze, looking deeply into his eyes. What he found there must have reassured him, because he said: “Fine, I believe you. Does anyone else know?”

“Maglor knows. He walked in on us that one time. And Fingon, who found my letters to Nolofinwe, after he’d… died. No one else.”

Mahtan raised his eyebrows. “Considering how long you’ve been at this, you’ve been remarkably successful at hiding.”

Maedhros grimaced. “Yes, well, it was vital. Even not considering that most elves would see our practices as tainted. At first… father… I don’t even know what he’d have done to Nolofinwe, if he’d found out. And then Nolofinwe was king and what impression would it have made, if it became known that the High King is submitting to Feanor’s eldest son? Especially as I abdicated in his favour. It would have been a mess! No, better to not let anyone know. Thank you for telling us about the people meeting here, I think that could feel good to do.”

“Let’s go inside”, Mahtan said with a sigh. “I’ll introduce you to one of my employees, who’s kind of leading this thing they have going, tomorrow.”

“Goodnight, grandfather”, Maedhros said at the top of the stairwell and Mahtan nodded at him. “Goodnight.”

Maedhros had a feeling that his grandfather would worry about him and Nolofinwe for a while, yet. He was sorry for that, Mahtan had only wanted to tell him he didn’t have to hide his special desires from him — he’d wanted to help and stumbled into a much larger secret. Maedhros hoped he wouldn’t change his mind about not judging them. He’d always felt comfortable with his grandfather, he didn’t want to lose the place he’d always had here.

Maedhros held Nolofinwe’s hand tighter as they entered the banquet hall, as much to tell his lover without words that he was here, as to feel that he wasn’t alone himself. Nolofinwe squeezed back, smiling shakily at him.

“We’ll just watch and listen”, Nolofinwe had said beforehand. “Feel the room. See how they react to us.”

There were already a couple of people sitting at a long table, drinks before them and talking. Maedhros thought it very indicative of Mahtan’s attitude that they’d found their place here, even though his grandfather didn’t share their inclinations. Mahtan had connected him with Inwision, one of his master-smiths who was the initiator of this meetings together with his husband. They met regularly, some couples forming the hard core while others only came now and then. The smith smiled as he became aware of them standing in the doorway and waved them over.

“Welcome”, he said. Maedhros was aware of the shuffling at the table. “When Maedhros spoke to me, he said that you both are here as private people and you, Nolofinwe, wouldn’t want us to treat you as one of the Ruling Kings of the Noldor.” Inwision looked at the six other people at the table. “Forgive me, but I think we’d all feel better, if you could confirm that. We don’t want to insult.”

Nolofinwe nodded with a smile. “You are completely right. I understand it is not easy to see me detached from my rank, but yes, you’d do me a favour if you’d just treat me as one of you.” He licked his lips, his eyes darting to Maedhros before he said: “In our relationship, I submit to Maedhros and while we certainly sometimes played with the fact that I’m king and he gave up the crown to me against the wish of his brothers and some of his people, it would feel very strange, if you’d treat me like a king here.”

Nolofinwe fell silent and blushed, Maedhros held his breath. It made his heart race to hear these things, that had only ever been between them, spoken aloud. He wasn’t sure he would have been able to say this. Nolofinwe was a lot braver than he was.

“Good to know. Please, make yourselves comfortable.” Inwision smiled at them. “Mahtan isn’t playing barkeeper for us today, so we have to serve ourselves. What would you like to drink?” He motioned at the array of bottles in the middle of the table. “We are not drunkards by the way, even if it might look like that.”

Inwision introduced them to the other people at the table while Maedhros poured them both white wine.

“Over there we have Tuilindor and Naltariel, they are — as you might have guessed from their hair — from Valimar. We tease them a lot for daring to come into this den of noldorin debauchery. Those three are Ailiniel, Saithnar and Urundil. Urundil is another one of Mahtan’s people, like me. And this is my husband, Calando, he’s a leatherworker, if you ever need a fancy collar, I’d say he is the right address — but I might be biased.”

The others laughed and Maedhros relaxed with a smile at Nolofinwe. He’d had his own worries about how they’d react to him — he’d already found out first hand that not everyone was happy about him and his brothers being pardoned — but they didn’t seem to mind who he was. He tried to hide that the collars made him a little uneasy. He remembered too well the weight of cold metal around his neck. Nolofinwe had never been his slave.

“We are a small group today”, Inwision continued. “I hope you aren’t disappointed.”

Nolofinwe shook his head. “I think, we both agree”, he said with a look at Maedhros, “that it would have been overwhelming to meet a lot of people at once. This seems right. You look very comfortable with each other.”

“We are very close friends”, Tuilindor said. “We have found our people here. And if you think you do too, you are always welcome.”

“Thank you.” Maedhros smiled at him.

“So, what do you think?”, Maedhros asked him as they rode back to Tirion the next day. Nerdanel was visiting a customer and so Nolofinwe had decided it was save to stay at Mahtan’s home for the night. He had a nagging feeling that they’d have to let her in eventually. “Are we going to go there again?”

“I’d like to, I think”, Nolofinwe answered. “It felt nice to talk with them. I mean, they know each other very well, but they made us welcome. I liked it. And, you know, they did talk about how they don’t always just sit around and talk… You know how much I’d enjoy being seen as your own.”

Maedhros smirked at him. “I know. I’m having some ideas for that.”

“Oh?” Nolofinwe rode closer to him so their knees touched. “Care to share?”

“Maybe once I thought about it more.” Maedhros winked at him. “I’m glad you enjoyed it tonight. I know you were nervous.”

“They seemed to get over me being the king pretty quickly. I was worried that they wouldn’t. It felt good to talk to them. Listen to someone else’s experiences. Do you think we could have had that sooner? If we’d dropped hints, had tried to build something like that ourselves?”

Nolofinwe waited while Maedhros thought about it.

“I don’t think so”, he finally said. “It would have been too high a risk for our… activities to get out. It is much easier to come into such a group — saver — than to try to build one.”

“Yes, you might be right.” Nolofinwe sighed. “You know… I’m wondering… If we really go there more often, it will be noticed — at least by your mother. Should we tell her?” He grimaced at the thought. “Better she hears it from us than finding it out through rumours?”

Maedhros pulled his upper lip between his teeth. “I’d lie, if I’d say I never thought about confessing my fantasies to my parents. And I know mother wouldn’t go and tell everyone, no matter what she thinks personally, but… I’m not sure. We’ve been hiding it for so long, it feels frightening to tell anyone.”

“I know. When I confessed to Anaire, I was so scared about her reaction. I love her, I truly do, and I thought she should know what she’d be forgiving, if she decided to take me back after I left her. But it scared me.” Nolofinwe reached out and squeezed Maedhros’s hand with his. “I’m tired of hiding”, he continued. “I’ll admit that. I sometimes imagine just telling our whole family.”

Maedhros stared at him wide-eyed. “You are mad!”

Nolofinwe shrugged with a wry smile. “Maybe I am. It’s just… it would make some things so much easier.”

“We can’t.” Maedhros thought with dread of what his brothers would say.

“I know. It’s just… it would be nice to be able to.” Nolofinwe shook his head. “You’re right.”, he repeated. They rode on in silence.

“I noticed you flinching when they talked about collars and ‘slaves’. Are you comfortable with going there again?”

“And there I thought, I’d hidden it.” Maedhros gave him a wry smile.

“You did, but I know you well.”

“Yes, you do.” Maedhros sighed. “I am comfortable with meeting them and others again. But yes, it startled me a little, how they play this game. They are romanticising something so horrible…”

“I think they know that real slavery is not like what they do”, Nolofinwe said slowly. “Not that I don’t understand, why it would be startling to you, but… well, I can see the appeal of being completely in the power of someone powerful — that’s what we do, too. They just call themselves by other names. When we started this, we had no concept of slavery — the biggest imbalance in power we could think of was that of a member of the royal family and a servant — but if we’d known about it, in an abstract way like them, we might have gone that way, too, don’t you think?” Nolofinwe had always enjoyed being called ‘núro’ by Maedhros — his prince — and the feeling of powerlessness over the situation that came with it.

Maedhros nodded slowly. “You might have a point there — I know they are not anything like what I experienced in Angband. It just… feels off. I’ll get used to it.”

He smiled at him but Nolofinwe could see that his lips shook a little. He made a mental note to himself to ask Inwision for a conversation, just to make him aware that ‘slave’ meant something much more sinister to Maedhros than the rest of them.

~*~*~

Inwision looked slightly intimidated when he was led into Nolofinwe’s sitting room by a servant.

“You asked to see me, my king?”

“Yes.” Nolofinwe offered him a seat and sat down himself. “I hope I didn’t inconvenience you.”

“No, not at all.” He still looked nervous, so Nolofinwe said: “I wanted to thank you for the welcome you gave Maedhros and me.”

Inwision smiled. “We are always happy to meet new people like us. Did you like what you heard, then?”

“Yes, we did. We’ll join you again. That’s why I wanted to talk to you. I wanted to raise your awareness to Maedhros’s past. As you might know, he was taken captive by Morgoth.”

“I heard of that, yes.” Inwision looked uncomfortable.

“I won’t go into detail”, Nolofinwe continued. “But I thought it would be important for you to know, that to him ‘slave’ means something entirely different than to you.”

“Oh. I hope we didn’t say something insensitive!” Inwision paled sightly and tensed.

“No, that’s not it. But he’s experienced real slavery and that’s different from what you and we do.”

“Of course! I don’t think any of us would ever think it is the same. If I may ask: What does he call you?”

“Núro”, Nolofinwe said with a gentle smile. “We started this before we had a concept of slavery.”

“I understand.” Inwision nodded. “I will talk to the others, so no one accidentally makes an insensitive remark.”

“That would be very kind of you”, Nolofinwe answered. “Thank you. Now, I won’t keep you any longer.”

Inwision took his leave and Nolofinwe relaxed. He felt better now that he’d told him. Inwision had reacted calmly and understanding. Maedhros had worried, it might bias them against him, people had preconceptions, that was why he’d let Nolofinwe do this alone — and because he really didn’t like to talk about his past.

~*~*~

Maedhros hugged his mother tight. He was nervous about this, but he still took the time to cherish being with her. Nerdanel laughed and patted his upper arm.

“I’m happy to see you, too, Maedhros.” The name rolled off her tongue with a bit of hesitation. It had been hard for both of them, when he told her that he could no longer bear to hear anyone call him Maitimo — the name she had given him.

“Good day to you, Nolofinwe.” She embraced him too. “I hope my son didn’t do something wrong already?”

“No! Why would you think that? I’m not here in any official capacity.” Nolofinwe stared at her as they sat down in her living room.

She’d moved back to her parents’ place, but Mahtan’s house was large and sprawling, accommodating many people, she had her own apartment and workshop. Maedhros had glimpsed the half-finished statue of a bird flying upwards through the crack of the door as they walked past.

“How else should I take you wanting to see me and him?”, Nerdanel asked exasperated. “But it relieves me that this is a private meeting.”

‘Wait till you hear what this is about’, Maedhros thought and took a deep breath. She was his mother, he would not make Nolofiwne tell her. “Mother, we wanted to see you, because we have something to tell you.” His heart was doing his best to jump up his throat, he could barely speak. “Do you… do you know what’s going on sometimes in the banquet hall?”

“Yes. Your grandfather told me, so I wouldn’t walk into something by accident.”

“Nolofinwe and I have that kind of relationship”, Maedhros squeezed out breathlessly.

He blindly reached for Nolofinwe’s hand, but through the tremble in his fingers, he could feel that his lover was as nervous as him.

Nerdanel’s eyes narrowed. “And does Anaire know that?”

“Yes”, Nolofinwe answered quickly. “We have an… arrangement.”

“Good, I want my best friend happy. You have made her very unhappy when you left, Nolofinwe. I’d be very cross with you, if you did so again.”

“I’m doing my best to be the husband she deserves”, Nolofinwe said softly. “Then I won’t lecture you any more.”

“Is that your only concern?”, Maedhros asked a little baffled.

“I had the thankless task of going through your things after you’d left!”, Nerdanel said with flashing eyes. “What do you think I found? Your sexual preferences come as no surprise to me.”

Maedhros’s face heated as he thought of the things he’d left behind, hidden in the back of his wardrobe, but of course she’d found it.

“Your grandfather raised me to be broad-minded. I don’t mind that. And as I doubt you’d tell me about this, if it weren’t serious, I’m sure you already thought extensively about your degree of kinship. I doubt I could say anything that would change your mind.”

“Are you against it?”, Nolofinwe asked.

Maedhros hoped not, he’d feel bad going against her wishes, but they’d known it was a possibility. Nerdanel cocked her head and looked sternly at both of them.

“It does feel strange. You being his uncle and his lord — and with the… difficulties in your relationship with his father.”

“This started before he ever had any power over me”, Maedhros quickly interjected. “He is not exploiting a power imbalance — or trying to get back at father!”

That she would even think that! He hoped this was enough information for her. He did not want to go into more detail about this with his mother.

“I’m relieved to hear that.” Nerdanel closed her eyes. “Well, it does need some getting used to. But I won’t stand in your way, if this is what you want.”

“It is”, Maedhros said, his heart slowing down.

“I hope I don’t have to tell you how this is going to blow up if it becomes public knowledge.” Nerdanel rubbed her forehead. “And there I thought I was moving to the country to be away from the politicking.”

“We know", Nolofinwe said with a sigh. "We are careful. But we didn’t want to hide it from you, when we are going to do it right under your nose. It would have felt disrespectful.”

“You are my mother, you deserve to know about who I love.” Maedhros was relieved when she smiled at him and leaned over to kiss his cheek.

“It means a lot to me that you told me.”

Maedhros sank deeper into his chair, pulling Nolofinwe on his lap. His núro only wore trousers, the Star bright red on his chest. It was a performance night and there were a lot of people in the room they’d only met once or twice. They didn’t make it every time, it was a little too far from Tirion — closer to Valmar in fact — to make the journey there and back in one day. Especially when they wanted to play. Nolofinwe had responsibilities that often kept him in Tirion and Maedhros… well, he still felt guilty to stay away from Alqualonde for too long. But tonight was only for them. They would enjoy the show one of the couples would put on the stage and they would enjoy themselves. They sat in one of the little nooks that were made by portable screens, intended for people who wanted to keep their privacy, they didn’t feel like socialising tonight. Not during the performance, at least. Maybe later.

“You’d like to be on that stage, too, wouldn’t you?”, he whispered into Nolofinwe’s ear, dragging his nails down his back. “On display for everyone to see how I use you.”

Nolofinwe shuddered and moaned “Yes” into his ear.

Maedhros chuckled. “Maybe we’ll do that sometime. But now, let’s watch.”

They repositioned themselves until Nolofinwe’s back leaned against Maedhros’s chest. Maedhros let his hand slide over Nolofinwe’s skin, tracing the star with a fingertip. They’d been here before on a night like this, with elves on the stage who liked to play in public, to give a bit of a show. He’d thought it weird at first to watch strangers, but soon it had become arousing — for both him and Nolofinwe. He was not sure, if he really would enjoy being up there, but he knew that being watched was one of his lover’s fantasies and he’d make it real if he could. Well, they were watched now. Not overtly and soon all attention would be on the stage, but they were looked at.

“They are looking at you”, he whispered into his núro’s ear. “The people around us. You are such a desirable sight. They wonder how it would be to have you. But you are mine, all mine. I’m the only one who is allowed to touch you.”

He let his hand slide possessively over Nolofinwe’s body. His cock throbbed — he didn’t say this things only for Nolofinwe’s pleasure. It aroused him to know that it was true, in this game they played, in this room, Nolofinwe was all his to command.

Nolofinwe squirmed under his prince’s touches, sometimes gentle, sometimes a little rough. He loved it, loved the possessiveness of it and how everyone who cared to look would see he was Maedhros’s. It aroused him how this was almost a public place. Yes, they were separated from the others by the screen, but it was still an open room and his prince had said they were watched. Well, not now. Now everyone watched the two elves coming on the stage. One of them was wearing a uniform in black and red, dragging the other behind him on a chain linked to a heavy iron collar.

Nolofinwe squeaked when Maedhros’s nails dug into his skin. “No”, he heard him whimper. He could feel him trembling. Nolofinwe squirmed around on his lap.

“Maedhros, what’s wrong?”

His eyes were wide and full of terror.

“Kneel for your master, slave”, he heard the elf on the stage snap. “There’s only one use in Angband for the likes of you.”

Nolofinwe felt a shower of dread run down his spine as he realised Maedhros must have recognised the uniform the moment the performers entered the stage. Damn. People had been considerate after his conversation with Inwision, but they clearly hadn't thought... well, no matter, that wasn't important now. He cupped his lover’s face in his hands and turned his head so he had to look at him.

“Maedhros. You are not there”, he said firmly. “You are safe, I will protect you. Do you hear me?”

Maedhros’s eyes focused on him. He nodded. “Get me out of here”, he whispered. “Please.”

Nolofinwe rose from his lap and took his hands firmly between his own. “Look at me”, he said. “Only look at me.” He slowly walked backward, trying not to bump into anyone as he made his way around the edge of the room. “I’m here for you. No one is going to hurt you.”

Maedhros slumped into a chair in the hallway once they’d made it out of the room and Nolofinwe quickly wrapped his arms around him, rocking him gently, as he started to cry with deep heaving sobs. “I’m sorry”, he croaked after a while. “I’m so sorry. I just…” Another painful sob tore from his throat.

“Shh.” Nolofinwe stroked his hair gently. His heart ached for Maedhros. “I know. I understand. Let’s go to your grandfather’s house.”

Maedhros nodded and let him pull him to his feet. “I’m sorry I spoiled the night for you”, he said again.

“Shush. I don’t want to hear nonsense like that.” Nolofinwe gently wiped the tears from Maedhros’s cheeks and looked him firmly in the eye. “It is not your fault. There’s nothing you have to be sorry for.” He kissed him gently. “Do you want me gagged and blindfolded tonight?”

Maedhros closed his eyes and leaned into him. “I don’t know yet”, he said softly. “I’ll think about it. Let’s go home.”

Maedhros gripped his hand tightly, as if he wanted to make sure that he really was there, as they walked across the yard to the main house. There was still light in the parlour and Nolofinwe made sure to sneak them past. Everyone in the house knew, but Maedhros wasn’t in a shape to meet anyone right now.

Maedhros was trembling so hard he almost didn’t make it up the stairs. The only reason he did was Nolofinwe gently urging him on. The moment the door to their bedroom closed behind them, he collapsed on the bed, curling up and closing his eyes. The trembling wouldn’t stop, something inside him still expected something awful to happen and he didn’t know how to convince it otherwise. He instinctively cringed away when the mattress dipped.

“Is it alright to touch you?”, Nolofinwe asked.

“Yes”, Maedhros whispered and threw himself into his arms.

They didn’t talk for a long while. Nolofinwe held him, stroked his hair and back and rocked him gently and after a while Maedhros stopped trembling. His body ached and he felt so tired, but he knew if he fell asleep now, he would wake again soon, screaming with terror and remembered pain.

“Talk to me”, he said. “About anything but what just happened.”

Nolofinwe stilled for a moment, then launched into what amounted to several years of court gossip. Maedhros let it all wash over him, not so much listening to the words but letting Nolofinwe’s voice calm him further. He relaxed into him and Nolofinwe moved them around and pulled the blanket over them both, never stopping to talk.

“I’m sorry”, Maedhros said when the sunlight tickled his nose and he realised they’d been up all night. “I kept you awake.”

“Will you stop apologising?”, Nolofinwe said gently. “It’s alright.”

Maedhros noticed that his voice was a little rough from talking for hours. He wriggled out of Nolofinwe’s embrace and sat up. “Let me get you some tea”, he said. “And maybe breakfast”, he added when his stomach started to rumble.

Nolofinwe smiled at him. “That would be nice. Are you…”

“I will be”, Maedhros interrupted his question. “Let me pamper you this morning.”

“As you wish. My prince.” Nolofinwe smiled up at him. “I’m all yours.”

Maedhros bowed down and kissed him slowly and gently. “I love you so much”, he whispered.

The memories still lurked in the back of his mind, but in the bright morning light and with Nolofinwe looking at him like he was the centre of his life, he could banish them. He slipped into his robe and sneaked downstairs. It was still early, but the smell of coffee was already wafting through the house. Maedhros turned towards the kitchen and let Cook prepare a tray for him and Nolofinwe.

“Thank you.” Nolofinwe sipped from his cup.

Maedhros smiled and offered him a strawberry. Nolofinwe licked his fingertip when he took the fruit into his mouth and Maedhros felt a spark of arousal settle in his belly. He let it, enjoying the bright morning; the warm bed; Nolofinwe’s naked body beside him. He continued to feed him for a while, stealing some pieces of fruit for himself, so Nolofwine wouldn’t worry.

“Now”, Nolofinwe said, putting the tray on the floor and fluttering his eyelashes at him. “What would you like to do to your núro, my prince.”

Maedhros felt his mouth go dry. “Let me make love to you, Nolofinwe”, he said with a slight tremor in his voice.

Nolofinwe pulled him down into a sweet kiss. “Then make love to me, my dearest”, he murmured against his lips.

Maedhros exhaled with relief. “You don’t mind…”, his voice failed him and he tried again. “It is alright for you to have normal sex.”

“Sex is always nice.” Nolofinwe winked at him. “And I love you. So let’s make love. Just like this, without any pretending.”

Nolofinwe stroked Maedhros’s hair gently. After he’d made love to him, slow and achingly gentle, he’d finally been able to fall asleep. He was relieved about it, sometimes Maedhros was on edge for days after something reminded him of his captivity. Nolofinwe snuggled into him and closed his eyes, his mind touching Maedhros's. He would feel if he had a nightmare, even in his sleep. He would guard his dreams.

Anaire’s fingers tightened in Nolofinwe’s hair when she came under his tongue. Nolofinwe shivered, sweat was running down his spine. She had not taken off the cage and every spark of arousal was followed by a twinge of pain when his cock stiffened against the unyielding bars. Anaire pulled him up for a slow kiss and smiled teasingly at him. Nolofinwe moaned when she dragged her nails down his spine and a shudder coursed through his body.

“You enjoy this way too much”, he gasped.

“Oh, but I thought you wanted me to take part in that game of yours.” She fluttered her lashes at him in mock innocence. “Won’t your prince be pleased with you for keeping yourself for him?”

“He will and thank you.” He kissed her again. “For being so understanding.”

Anaire grinned at him. “You are right, I do enjoy this. I could not… do what he does to you, but I’ll admit I do like to have the power to allow you release — or not.”

Nolofinwe laid his head on her chest. Waves of arousal were still coursing through is body and making him shiver and he knew it would be so a while longer if he stayed with her, but he did enjoy the closeness between them. And it made him happy that she had come to enjoy this power. Her hand stroked his hair slowly.

“You said, you might enjoy it, if I watched him dominating you…”

“Yes.” Nolofinwe felt a blush creep over his cheeks. “I’d enjoy that immensely. But I don’t want to push you.”

“Oh love, you aren’t.” Anaire kissed his forehead. “When he came back, I was worried. I thought… I thought you might turn away from me, to him who could satisfy your needs so much better, but you have never made me feel excluded or pushed away. You make me feel loved by you every day.”

Nolofinwe lifted his head to better looked at her. “I love you”, he said seriously. “I love you not less because of him.”

“I know. I can feel it. I thought I might get jealous, if I watched you with him, but I’m not worried about that any longer. I’d like to watch. If you let me.”

Nolofinwe felt his heart beat quicker. He did not want to sound too eager, but happiness was flooding his heart. “Let you? Let you fulfil a fantasy of mine? Of course! I’ll write to Maedhros tomorrow.”

Anaire sat in a comfortable armchair a nervous knot in her belly. Nolofinwe had blushed furiously when she’d suggested she had made up her mind and would like to watch Maedhros dominating him, but she had also seen his arousal at the idea. She did this for him, but also for herself. Nolofinwe had told her so much, they’d enjoyed his memories together. She knew she might never actually participate in anything resembling what the two of them did, but she wanted to see if watching them would be a pleasurable experience.

She tensed and sat up straight when Maedhros entered the bedroom — a guest room in the palace, Anaire had felt hesitant to do this in her own bed and Nolofinwe had not pressed the issue — leading her husband beside him by a hand fisted in his hair. She’d been a bit worried, that she wouldn’t be able to stop thinking of him as Maitimo, who she’d known since he’d been a small boy, but there was something in the way he held himself that was different. He was Maedhros of Middle-earth with all that had happened there. Harder, sterner. And he was Nolofinwe’s prince.

Nolofinwe was naked, the cage off and his cock erect and already leaking. He looked at her and blushed again, averting his eyes quickly.

“Kneel”, Maedhros ordered and Nolofinwe went to his knees without hesitation.

“My lady”, Maedhros turned to her and kissed her hand as if they were at court. “I understand you want to see what a good núro Nolofinwe is for me. I’m honoured, and it is my pleasure to show you.” His hand was carding through Nolofinwe’s hair as he spoke and Anaire could see her husband lean into the touch, his eyes half-closed in ecstasy. “I hope you will find this enjoyable.” He smiled at her before turning to Nolofinwe. “On the bed, núro. Ass up.”

It was Anaire’s turn to blush when her husband obeyed smoothly. He knelt on the bed, legs spread wide, and lowered his chest to the matress, making his backside stick out and his cock accessible from behind. Ready — eager — to be used. Anaire shivered, something not unpleasant stirring inside her. Maedhros swatted Nolofinwe’s buttock and winked at her.

“I can never resist his pretty ass”, he commented.

Anaire thought she could see Nolofinwe shudder when Maedhros opened his belt buckle, making it clink. Maedhros calmly folded the belt in half and let it fall on Nolofinwe’s ass with a resounding swat. Anaire felt her muscles tense as she watched him beating her husband with slow, measured strokes. Nolofinwe was moaning loudly, his skin was streaked with dark red stripes when Maedhros paused with a glance at her.

“Tell your wife, núro: Do you like this?”, he asked, dragging his nails over Nolofinwe’s bruised ass.

“Yes, my prince”, Nolofinwe answered without hesitation and arched his back when Maedhros’s finger slid down his cleft. “Please, my prince, please use me however you wish.”

Maedhros chuckled. “Oh, I will, my núro, you can be sure of that.”

A shiver of pleasure coursed through Anaire’s body when he pushed his finger into Nolofinwe’s hole, making him moan — and she realised she could not distinguish this moan from the ones before. She had assumed he was in pain, and he must be, but… Maedhros took up the belt again and slid it over Nolofinwe’s buttocks.

“Can you take a few more for me, núro?”, he said with a gentleness in his voice that surprised Anaire at first. But then, this was not done in anger or as punishment. There was love between them, care and trust. She knew that, she'd often heard it in Nolofinwe's voice when he spoke of Maedhros.

“Yes, my prince”, Nolofinwe answered softly.

The sound of leather on flesh, mixed with Nolofinwe’s moans and whimpers suddenly held a strange allure to Anaire. She felt herself become wet and squirmed a little, longing for friction. After a few moments of her excitement mounting she threw any thought of decency — what decency? She was watching her husband being screwed by another man! — to the wind and hitched up her skirts to touch herself. She sighed relieved as her finger touched her clit. Her wetness made obscene noises when she slid her finger quickly up and down, her hips jerking. Pleasure was rushing through her body.

Maedhros laid the belt aside and squeezed Nolofinwe’s glowing red cheek. “Your wife enjoys to see you like this, núro”, he said. “She’s pleasuring herself to the view of your ass being whipped and the music of your moans.”

Nolofinwe whimpered. Maedhros had freed his cock and was stroking himself slowly.

“How will she like the sounds you make when I fuck you, I wonder?” Maedhros winked at her and Anaire felt her heated face blush even more.

She stilled her motions for a moment — her heart beating wildly in her chest; muscles trembling; her clit pulsing — when Maedhros knelt between Nolofinwe’s spread legs and pushed his cock inside with a grunt. Nolofinwe arched his back, his legs spreading wider, and moaned loudly. Maedhros started to thrust and Anaire continued stroking herself, sliding a finger inside her this time and rubbing her clit with her thumb.

She breathed quickly, moving frantically, the sounds of the two men on the bed becoming background noise, all her thoughts being centred on her pleasure. Her climax rolled over her, her body tensing, then jerking. She lay gasping in her chair, finger still pressed into her, enjoying the last aftershocks of pleasure. The men had come too and were lying on the bed in a heap. Her husband looked small in the embrace of Maedhros’s long limbs.

Anaire looked discreetly around for something to clean herself with, when Maedhros whispered something into Nolofinwe’s ear and stood up.

“One  moment, my lady”, he said and left the room.

He didn’t close the door and Anaire could see the tiles of a bathroom. When Maedhros came back he carried a bowl of water, towels draped over his arm. He put the bowl down on the bedside table and wet one of the towels to offer it to her.

“Thank you”, Anaire said, feeling slightly awkward while she cleaned herself. Now that she was no longer aroused the impropriety of the situation struck her.

“You’re welcome.” Maedhros smiled at her then turned his attention to Nolofinwe. Anaire felt her heart ache when she saw the loving look on Maedhros’s face. He cleaned her husband gently, whispering something to Nolofinwe all the while. Nolofinwe had turned his head so she could see his face, he had closed his eyes, but the smile on his lips spoke volumes.

Maedhros opened a drawer and took out a lidded bowl from which he scooped a generous amount of some salve. Nolofinwe tensed when he spread it over his punished backside but quickly relaxed again. Anaire pushed down hard on the jealousy that was rearing its ugly head. She had wanted to see this, she knew Nolofinwe loved Maedhros, but he also loved her. She had agreed to all of his — and she was glad now that she had. It might have been a lot easier for her to forbid Nolofinwe the relationship with Maedhros, but now she realised how much heartbreak she would have generated that way. Nolofinwe had been anything but loving toward her, she would not be jealous about their closeness.

Maedhros kissed Nolofinwe’s shoulder then he threw a look at Anaire, his mind brushed against hers and she let him. ‘Usually I’d cuddle with him now, but…’ He shrugged awkwardly. ‘Uh, would you like to join us? I don’t want you to feel left out.’

Anaire hesitated, her thoughts were racing. Could she join them? Hold Nolofinwe while Maedhros held him, too? ‘I… don’t want to disturb you.’

‘You aren’t’, Maedhros answered. ‘Your presence today was a very integral part of the scene. We’ve been playing with the fantasy of a watcher, he loved having you here.’

Anaire smiled wryly. ‘You don’t have to butter me up, Maedhros.’

‘I’m not. It’s the truth.’

“What are you talking about?”, Nolofinwe mumbled, opening his eyes halfway.

“Why, you of course… love.” Maedhros blushed, Anaire had marked the hitch in his voice before adding the endearment. He was very concious of her presence. “Tell your wife how much you enjoyed having her watch us.”

Nolofinwe opened his eyes wider and looked at her. “I did very much.” He grinned at her. “I’ll show you my gratitude once I feel less tired, if you like. Now, I’m missing cuddles. Why don’t you two come to bed?”

Maedhros threw her a look that said clearly: See, I told you.

Anaire shrugged and slipped out of her dress. Maedhros lay down behind Nolofinwe so she took the other side. It took a while for them all to find a comfortable position, Anaire tensing every time her skin met Maedhros’s, but finally they’d settled down. Nolofinwe sighed contentedly.

“I love you both”, he said softly. “Equally and with all my heart.”

Anaire brushed his mind lovingly with hers. This was so unconventional, they would be judged harshly if it ever became public knowledge, but… she could not think it wrong when Nolofinwe was so happy.

When Finwe had wanted to marry again, the Valar had said it was not possible to be married to two people at once, that it would tear the person apart… but Nolofinwe didn’t look torn apart. He looked content and happy and while she knew there wasn’t a marriage bond between Maedhros and him, she did not doubt his words. She’d never allowed herself to doubt the Valar’s judgement through the time of the Exile, but now she wondered if they were always right in their judgement. This did not feel wrong at all. Why should it be forbidden if all people involved were happy with the arrangements?