Comments on Broken

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I like this event from Maglor's pov and I especially like his interaction with  Uinen.  Her description and characterization works well. You have a vivid set of images both of the path of destruction of the wave and the newly-formed cataract of the seas.  What a cataclysmic event. 



Thanks so much for the review :) What I liked most about taking part in the last B2MeMonth was the way these really unlikely ideas popped up out of nowhere. I've never given Uinen any thought before, she's just been a name, but now there's an entire backstory looking to find its way out. I think a lot of the descriptions were based on half remembered television footage of tsunami aftermath, but there was also my childhood nightmare of a huge wave coming up over Cape Town.... must have been rather like that in Numenor, for sure.

Ohhhh...I love this.  It's haunting, evoking images of the tsunamis we've seen lately, and the destruction left behind.  I love the idea of Uinen coming to Maglor, and of him giving the Silmaril to her (not Ulmo).  The detail of him never singing a note on a beach was great!  It just smacked of Maglor to me.  She's perfect; not quite easy to understand, but still manages to get her image home.  

And then, her voice drifting in and out with the ebb and flow of the waves, almost drowned by the shrilling of the gulls, she told him who. 

And why.

Perfect!  I can hear it, see it, and smell it.  Ah, lovely as always, even through the sadness.  



Thank you, dearest, there's no better compliment than your last line :) This was a strange one, nothing to do with the Maglor ficlets I was trying to write at the time, but it was just 'there' as was her voice, I could really hear her .... high pitched, creepy-strange, blending with the ebb-flow sound of the sea.  Maglor was just Maglor - he doesn't show up often so when he does I really enjoy spending time with him.

This is a story I loved since first I saw it.

Maglor here, for me, is still a prince, even if his life is that of a vagabond. Who else would have a "chat" with a Maia?
The description of that shore and the sea is so vivid, I could actually see the scene in my mind.
But the strongest part for me is the end, because of it's minimalism:

She told him who.
And why.

It sounds so ominous, so final, and it evokes the feeling of "no return, no hope" so much like the fate of the Elves in Middle-earth.
It's the story of the Elves, even if it's not.



Hey Scarlet :) Thank you, and I'm delighted the descriptions worked so well for you. Maglor for me is always a prince, no matter what circumstances overtake him. And an artist, so in tune with the natural world and open to conversations with unlikely beings. I loved the thought of them having some kind of special connection due to the Silmaril, and choosing who to give it to struck me as very Maglor.

This view of Maglor is really interesting, and the relationship with Uinen - I have not thought of that before, that he denied Ulmo and of course the Valar too that way. I like that idea. I don't think they would have let the Valar have the Silmarils at any cost.

That final glimpse of her standing there and then not is like the sea coming in- lovely image and rather sad to think of Maglor left behnd and never going home.




I'm not sure where this idea came from, but it made a lot of sense as it unfolded. I really could not see him tamely tossing that Silmaril to Ulmo and then wandering off to live a life of misery, not Maglor as I picture him. Uinen is someone I would love to write again, but I haven't found a space for her yet. I'm glad you enjoyed her.

I really like the idea of Maglor and Uinen being....not friends, but friendly. I like that he goes to her for information, too. The way she speaks is intriguing, too, and makes this seem very vivid.

I liked this line a lot (possibly just because I like contrary people, haha):

"He’d heard the stories of Fëanor’s second born bewailing his loss in song as he walked the shores of Middle-earth, so on principle he never sang a note on a beach."

The ending was interesting, too. The kind of vagueness and the lack of Maglor's response to it made it seem all the more eerie, I thought.

Anyway, great story!