I'm so delighted that you've posted the rest of this here! (And I do hope Atanatárissë will follow since it feels such a complementary part of this series.)

I am thoroughly enjoying my reread and loving all the marvellous details that are standing out more now with "hindsight", and also seeing things with a different lens this time. 

As always, your incredibly detailed and original worldbuilding is so rich and delicious, and the interactions and private thoughts and feelings of the characters are so relatable, I'm so loving being able to get so thoroughly immersed and slip from one fic/chapter to the next. 

Hello! (It’s coffee-shop from Tumblr!) I’m so glad to be able to continue the Atandil journey despite the AO3 situation, so here I am for Unfriends. More fascinating texture and worldbuilding again right out to the gate with the legends of the deer men and the paintings and the skull! I can certainly relate to Belen getting attached to mysterious old stories and so excited and invigorated by finding a way to feel connected to them - what is fandom if not us sort of enacting the same thing! (Also, he always gets nauseous at the idea of killing on the hunt??? So sweet, I hope he can always keep that tender heart in a cruel world!) But the tragic outcome of it is so upsetting - though, to me, immediately understandable. I’m glad Finrod could see that and stop any harm from coming to Orndaer, whose willingness to be held accountable I found very admirable.

I can easily see how this opportunity for Finrod to play a key role in the saving of Belen will only further ingrain his place in Balan’s heart, though I appreciated both that you still created a sense of uncertainty around the outcome (it was clear that Finrod felt himself reasonably in control of the situation but also not overly confident, particularly as his knowledge of human mortality is still developing) and that you didn’t have his elven expertise supersede Estreth’s own skill and wisdom. He’s not an outside savior on whom they’re all wholly dependent, because they have their own intrinsic knowledge and talents as well. That seems important to me.

Balan’s further education about osanwe was fascinating to watch. It’s such an inherently vulnerable thing to allow and it felt like watching two people engaging in a real act of intimacy — just like a first sexual experience, it had all the same nervousness and sense of discovery and delight in finding a new way to achieve closeness. And it was certainly brave on both their parts to let the other one in, where they might find the *special* way they think of each other (I could never with my own crush!). All of their interactions are always so gentle and rooted in kindness, it makes them so easy to cheer for as a pair (even while my grubby human brain still bristles a little at Balan’s continued occupying of the short end of the power dynamic between them as Elf and Man). The oath between them at the end of the chapter is so stirring and yet also tinged with foreboding, as even in this solemn moment of bonding they are still discovering things about each other that they didn’t know or don’t fully understand. What more is out there that they don’t know and can’t quite comprehend? I don’t know, but that’s so narratively exciting! This was another lovely entry in the broader work — full of intriguing detail and beautifully crafted, both in words/imagery and how easily the story flows along (not saying it was easy to write it that way, but it reads as effortless!). I loved it!

A couple of years ago I had read up to No Gentler Pain before stuff happened that made reading a non-relaxing experience, so I've been delighted that my readability returned and that I've been able to savour this remarkable series again ... and continue with all the new instalments. (Lucky me; I've just finished We Shall Be Gathered and I get to dive right back in to where Mirröanwi left off earlier this year.)

I always want to comment on each little bit and then become overwhelmed and shy of my inadequate knowledge language terminology and my inability to figure out what the correct labels are for feelings evoked, so this time instead of waiting till that mythical time when I'll magically feel I can adequately express myself and leave long comments on each chapter, I'll just let what comes out come out... 

There are just so many things I enjoy in this: the story itself, of course, and its themes, and Finrod's and Balan's oh-so-painfully-relatable internal experiences. But then there is the incredible loving detail with which you fill in the massive gaps in Tolkien's comparatively rough canon. (I often think of the Silm as being viewed from an eagle's eye view and Silmfic flying in at ground level, but the image I have of Atandil is of a half-timber frame house where Tolkien's work forms the beams and you've infilled the walls with the most gorgeous, and detailed, designs.) I so love the mythology and stories and songs sprinkled throughout (and many of your faux-Talkiska words stick in my mind -- hrögemetheilit stuck because I kept sounding it to figure out how to pronounce it and gaitch has been useful) and many of the little details stood out even more during my second read, especially after reading Adanatarisse. Your descriptions, of places, of objects, of people, of actions, of feelings ... all so vibrant and vivid I see and feel them rather than words. (And so long to be there too!) Oh, and the midwinter and midsummer, and wedding and funeral traditions. As a misplaced mongrel with no strong culture I can call my own, and even just a citizen of this crazy modern life, reading them made me long for long-abandoned community and culture and ritual.

And then there is their connection, Finrod and Balan, and their utter conviction of their respective love and desire (even if they are/were unsure of the reciprocity, oh plight of lovers everywhere!) I love the light touch of osanwe, and its naked honesty and reassurance in so many ways, and then also its intensity if unleashed. The way they can see and hear and feel through each other is just so divine! And yet that still does not instil an omniscience, and uncertainties and insecurities and jealousies still lurk (oh so deliciously for us readers!) Oh! And speaking of delicious, Finrod as a whirling wildcat with claws extended when he takes on the Orcs! But even more delicious was the feelings evoked as he realised the danger Balan was in, issuing an order to Sidhon and running to find him. And of course the way they mutually expressed their relief in the aftermath. Yummy!

When Balan lost his temper and broke the mirror ... this was an interesting experience for me. I felt embarrassment on his behalf for acting like a toddler (projecting my own feelings when I've acted similarly). But then, seeing how justified is his anger and frustration, and under it all, his hurt, it made me realise how from a child I had been taught that the anger and the expression of it was the crime and not the crime that triggered it. The message (from the perpetrators) that it is wrong to be affected by things that hurt us and at the very least any feelings of hurt must be hidden. (I know this mis-message is so widespread, which also makes me very angry.) What a balm it was to observe Finrod's response to Balan's feelings here! All of them, the fight, the shut down of feelings and bond, the deep thinking, the insights and realisation ... It was so very very beautiful, the whole build-up to that point, and then the apology, the plea, the acceptance ...  Oh! My heart.

And then the bookend, revisiting Aegnor, his response and his insights.

Ahhh! You have provided me with so much more enjoyment and comfort and food for thought and feels than I can possibly express. Thank you!