The kind of love I've been dreaming of by chrissystriped  

Maeglin led his tired horse by the reigns. East, always east. His decision not to return to Gondolin had slowly ripened during their march to the battle. He’d hoped they’d win — or at least not lose quite so catastrophically -- but then, the chaos of flight and retreat had made it possible for him to slip away without being noticed. 

They probably thought him dead. It was better that way. He had no place there. Gondolin had never turned into home. His mother was dead, as was his father, and Idril did not only not love him but despised him. Maybe it would be better with the sons of Fëanor. Aredhel had been friends with Curufin and Celegorm. They couldn’t be as bad as Turgon made them sound. 

He only needed to find them without being captured or killed by orcs or worse creatures.

“We are being followed”, Celegorm said, looking up at the falcon flying above them and calling down to him. “A rider. Probably not an orc. I’ll see what he wants.” He turned his horse around. 

“Celegorm!” Maedhros called. “Be careful. It might be a trap.” 

Celegorm grinned at him. “If it is, they’ll regret it.” He whistled and a huge animal, more wolf than dog, galloped towards him. Celegorm whispered something calming to his shying horse. She didn’t like his companion, she liked it even less when he started to growl instructions in the tongue of dogs. 

The beast bounced away and he followed it more slowly, the gash in his side ached. Maedhros was right to remind him not to take risks, but he wasn’t in a mood to be sensible. He wanted blood, he wanted to hunt, dig his teeth into something until it screamed. 

He was so angry at everyone. How could they have been so stupid to trust the mortals? Everything had gone wrong after their betrayal. Everything had gone wrong, full stop. They should have tried to get the Silmaril from Doriath instead. 

He’d been so distracted by his anger, that he hadn’t noticed the stranger approaching. Idiot! he berated himself. He whistled for Wolf, but then he took a closer look and called him back. 

“Aredhel?” he said, knowing it couldn’t be true. 

This was a man, but damn, he looked the spitting image of his long lost friend. The stranger had stopped his horse, having difficulty to keep it from bolting at the sight of the huge growling beast. 

Now his eyes darted to him, not Aredhel’s eyes, they were so dark they looked black in the twilight under the trees and pierced right into his mind. Celegorm had never been good at hiding his thoughts, but he resented the ease of the stranger’s entry. 

“Who are you?”, he barked. “Why are you following us?” 

“You knew my mother Aredhel,” the stranger said. “I can see that. My name is Maeglin. I’m looking for the Sons of Fëanor, are you…” 

Celegorm relaxed a little. “You have found us. I’m Celegorm, your mother was my friend.” Oh and how much he’d have liked it to be more, but she’d never looked at him that way — at anyone as far as he knew. So this was the child she’d had with that rude dark-elf, he’d never understood what she’d seen in that one. 

“Come along, it’s not save to travel alone. I heard you were going to wherever Turgon is hiding, many years ago. How come you are here now?” 

Maeglin bit his lip and Celegorm was struck by the intense wish to kiss that pretty mouth. He grit his teeth. Time and place, Celegorm, he berated himself. If only he hadn’t looked so much like her. 

“We left the hidden city to fight in the battle.” (Hah, so the coward had been moved to come out of hiding.) “I wasn’t happy there. So when the opportunity presented itself during the chaos of the retreat, I slipped away. Will you let me join you?” 

“That’ll be for Maedhros to decide, but I doubt he’ll send you away. You’re family after all.” 

Aredhel’s kid! He wondered what had happened to make him run away from Turgon. But he didn’t ask, there would be time for that later, and also he couldn’t really concentrate on a conversation right now. 

His blood had been running hot from the start, now that he hadn’t gotten a fight it had turned to other cravings. He ached for this young elf. He wanted to tear him off his horse, throw him into the dry leaves under that tree over there and ravish his body. 

Celegorm swallowed hard, trying to banish the ideas from his mind. He wouldn’t, of course. He’d wanted Aredhel for years and restrained himself — had it been always that hard? It had been very different times, though. He'd been different.

Maeglin couldn’t help noticing the intense longing coming from Celegorm. He had slipped out of his mind after the first shock, it just wasn’t polite, but it was hard to ignore this. 

He wanted him. No one had ever looked at him with such want. It made a shiver run down his spine. He didn’t know what to do with that. He’d only just met him. But… it felt good in a way. So, Idril hadn’t wanted him, but Celegorm clearly did. 

He risked a glance from the corner of his eyes. He was handsome in a wild, feral way. His face all sharp angles, rings of different metals lining the rim of his ear, pale blond hair curling unbound around his face. 

He could imagine… it. Things he’d read in books and imagined doing with Idril. He peeked into Celegorm’s mind and blushed at what he saw there. He gripped the reigns tighter. He wouldn’t be able to tell him once they reached the others. And he knew you were never alone in a camp. 

“I…” he croaked, his voice breaking. Celegorm turned his bright blue eyes on him. “I know you want me. I can feel it.” He trailed off, but Celegorm wouldn’t let him leave it at that. 

“And?” he said with a look that made Maeglin feel like a small animal before a predator. A thrill of excitement shot through him. 

“I wouldn’t mind,” he whispered. 

A grin spread over Celegorm’s face, he reach over to grip his horse’s reigns and stopped them. 

“Dismount,” he growled. 

Maeglin obeyed, almost falling over his trembling knees. Celegorm followed more elegantly, all lean muscles and grace. 

“The horses?” 

“Won’t wander far.” Celegorm backed him against a tree, caging him between his arms braced on the trunk. “I’ve wanted to do this from the moment I saw you”, he said breathlessly and pressed his lips to Maeglin’s. 

Maeglin gasped and Celegorm took the chance to catch his lower lip between his teeth, biting down hard before sucking on it to soothe the sting. Maeglin had not been prepared. Not for the intense physicality of it and not for the rush of pleasure shooting through his body at the closeness of another. He groaned loudly, the sound muffled by Celegorm’s mouth on his, when Celegorm pushed his knee between his legs. 

“My… ‘I wouldn’t mind’, he says.” Celegorm chuckled and ground his thigh against Maeglin’s hard cock. “What an understatement. Say you want me.” 

Maeglin’s eyes followed Celegorm’s fingers teasing the ties of his pants open. 

“I… I want you,” he whispered, because it was true. 

“Louder,” Celegorm growled, thrusting against him. 

“I want you!” Maeglin blushed furiously, resenting how easily Celegorm made him admit it, but want quickly overpowering any other feelings.

That smile again, dangerous but oh so beautiful. Maeglin squeaked surprised when Celegorm pulled his pants down with a sharp tug and flipped him around. His heart raced. 

He turned his head to look over his shoulder, frightened by the sudden turn (What was he getting himself into?) and saw Celegorm go to his knees. Celegorm caught his eyes and winked at him with a grin before bowing forward, his hand spreading Maeglin’s buttock, and licking his hole. 

“Gotta make you nice and ready,” he hummed. Celegorm’s tongue pressed inside him, warm and wet, and Maeglin braced himself against the tree trunk. Waves of arousal shuddered up his spine. Celegorm cupped his balls, teasing him with light strokes and tucks. He was close, so close, when the touches ceased and he felt Celegorm stand up. His breath was quick and hot on the skin of his neck. 

“You’re so fucking hot”, he growled and nibbled at the lobe of Maeglin’s ear. “How much I’d like to fuck you here and now.” 

“Please,” Maeglin moaned. 

Celegorm chuckled and teased his spit-slick hole with a finger. “You wouldn’t thank me,” he said. “I can tell you’re not used to this. Press your thighs together, I’ll make this good for both of us.” 

Maeglin obeyed, not sure what he was up to. Celegorm nuzzled his neck and thrust between his closed legs, his cock nudging Maeglin’s balls. He shuddered, thrusting instinctively backwards. He reached down to stroke himself, knuckles brushing Celegorm’s cock. Celegorm growled, thrusting more quickly, his teeth digging into the skin of Maeglin’s neck. Neither of them lasted long. 

Maeglin slumped against the tree, thighs and hand slippery with both their release. From the corner of his eye he saw Celegorm sit down beside him, back against the trunk and he let his trembling knees buckle, slipping down in a contented heap. Stars, he felt so good. 

Celegorm gave him another wide grin. “Well met, Maeglin.” 

Maeglin laughed out loud. “Well met indeed.” Out of the ashes of the battle, was this finally something good happening to him?

Celegorm’s heart raced in his chest. In a way he’d gotten what he’d wished for all these years and still he desired Maeglin with a ferocity he’d never felt for Aredhel. He knew he’d let himself grow more wild, more cruel, than he’d been. 

He was relieved he had been able to take step back and think before he’d hurt Maeglin for his own pleasure’s sake. He wasn’t quite that far gone. 

Celegorm rose slowly. “There’s a stream over there, lets wash and ride back to my brothers. It’s not save out here,” he said.

 Yes, he wanted Maeglin, but he also felt a tenderness for him that had been reserved for his brothers for a long time. He didn’t know what to think of that. 

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