Dark Chocolate by Babblecat  

 Everything the elves do has to be the most profound and beautiful thing the world has ever seen, no matter what it is. The least thimble lost in the dustiest corner of the most obscure elven dwelling is worth more than the most glorious kingdom of Man. That is how it has always been, that is how it will always be. However, the natural superiority of the Elven races has its detractors, its monumental detractors, come to squish pride like the bug it is.

One day, Feanor, long thought to have surpassed himself with the Silmarils, surpasses himself for real. Jewels cause no end of trouble, so he sets himself to create something both nice to look at and useful. Something that will not cause maniac curses to descend upon himself and his kindred - chocolate. White chocolate, to be precise. For a thousand years he works on the recipe, and for another thousand he seeks for the best ingredients, sending intrepid adventurers to Middle Earth, which still lies under permanent darkness. These adventurers bring back sugar of such exquisite sugariness that for an entire day, an entire twelve hours, Feanor goes about in a good mood. After ordering everyone out of his palace, he manages to produce a vat of white gold that could entice even Iluvatar down from His crystal throne for a taste. It is said that elves pass into a second state of blessedness just by having vapours of this miraculous confectionery enter their nasal passages.

But, as with everything Feanor does, the overweening glory of his latest creation provokes envy and greed. Word of this wondrous new thing, this thing that can quench hunger and induce eternal happiness, reaches the ears of many malign creatures, and one creature in particular, one with the power to invade the strongholds of the elves. No, not Melkor, he's one of those freaks who doesn't like chocolate. For once something good is safe from him.

A monster climbs over the mountains that form the wall of the Valinorian gated community. Or creeps under them, whichever works best. A true monster, a woman who cares not at all for conventional beauty standards. A very hungry woman unashamed of her appetite. No greater terror, no more deadly power has ever, or will ever exist. A gigantic spider wrapped in darkness approaches Feanor’s greatest treasure, drawn by the sweet, intoxicating scent.

Ungoliant waltzes over to the precious item while the elves are partying, just like she always does, breaking through the wall of the chocolate factory. Only the front part of her, of course, only her head, because the rest of her is too immense. But only her head and forelegs need to be intruding as she is able to dip her jaws into the swirling bounty of sugar and milk and drink it down, and what her head can't reach, her long and furry forelegs can. As she drinks, she swells ever larger and turns ever blacker, becoming more and more of a sugar addict with every drop, eventually breaking the roof of Feanor's home, shrugging it off the way she shrugs off molted skin. The massive silver tiled roof crashes to the ground and cascades down the slope, but the elves are too drunk on star wine to notice. As she drinks, she turns the white chocolate dark, and she misses a spot when she makes her getaway, thus inadvertently surpassing the genius smith by blessing the world with the best form of chocolate.

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