Comments on One of the Good Ones

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sh3rry95 has requested the following types of constructive criticism on this fanwork: Characterization, Mood/Tone, Organization/Structure, Point of View, Style. All constructive criticism must follow our diplomacy guidelines.


Hello, (commenting in English because I cannot write Italian) I really enjoyed this AU concept and how you carried it out!

You described really well Elured and Elurin's reactions and how Fingon gradually gains their trust. 

This is heartwarming. I'm really glad that they found each other. I like way it's uncertain whether they are somehow alive, or if they are in spirit form, whether as unembodied fëa in Middle-earth or if it's part of a healing process in Mandos. 

I really liked the description of Fingon's waking. That feeling of groggy effort & momentary confusion came through.

The El Twins desperation was clear; especially "before everything turned dark and full of screams." 

Fingon stepping up on the spot with the perfect blend of caution & care; zero hesitation. Then his "small, broken smile" after killing the orcs realizing he's not dead (anymore) after all. 

The ending with Eluréd's hope was excellent contrast with the twins prior desperation.

May that hope bear fruit.

Lovely fic all around!