Comments on Kindling

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Yeah, she just appeared to be in a slightly better position compared to most of the other thralls*, and she did her best to help them, but relatively better than absolutely awful doesn't make it easy.

* except Morwen; in some ways I think she had it easier than Aerin and others because even though she had also lost loved ones, struggled for food, etc., Brodda and co. feared her so she was left alone, whereas Aerin was frequently beaten for aiding people.

But I think also people's emotional ability to survive in hardship is drawn from witnessing the resilience of others, so when someone who's perceived to be much stronger is seen to crumple, it can maybe feel like a threat to their own ability to cope ("If it's too much for thec strong person, how could I possibly manage?') and so they opt for denial.

Thanks for reading and commenting. ♡

Once, she had ventured to divulge how weary she was, how hopeless she felt, how much she longed to let go; had dared ask to receive a little of the same comfort in turn.

This hit so deep, the way people who give and give and give aren't seen as needing anything back, and god forbid they show the slightest weakness when others demand they be strong!  God forbid they let the scream out!

Never again would she have the freedom of her own body

I weep

This was painfully beautiful

{{{ hugs }}}

As I said in my reply to Azh, I think the reasons people deny and invalidate the struggles of those who normally display strength are complex, although certainly self-interested. But I do find it rather illogical, iif sadly common, the way people assume that those who keep giving will be able to keep on giving simply because that's what they've done in the past. Sheesh. Humans are absurd.

"Never again would she have the freedom of her own body."

The thought of Brodda forcing himself on her for 24 years because he wanted an heir and yet there's no mention of children, made me wonder, well, lots of things, none of them good, the least worst being that he was impotent or she unable to conceive. I just can't imagine her willingly carrying a child to term in those conditions, although with the beatings (many possibly in anger about not giving him an heir) on top of the general hardship, I would think it very difficult not to miscarry.

Sorry to make you weep. (The Silm made me do it!) 

Thank you for reading and commenting. ♡
 

Thank you for the compliment! (And also for sharing your thoughts earlier about the scope of the horror genre; this was particularly powerfully relevant : "I think there's also the slow-burning horror of characters slowly realizing that they are doomed and there is no way out..")

[Edited to express myself a bit better.]

Yet she knew. Knew that never again would she have the freedom she experienced before: to pick wildflowers in the birdsonged woods, to float in the soft turquoise waters of the lake, to revel in the breezes of the green meadows. Never again would she have the freedom of her own body. Once upon a time she had harboured a desire to see the ocean's waves slip upon the shore; now she felt only a longing to know the new beginning that comes after the end, beyond the shores, beyond the ocean, beyond the Circles of the World.


So heartbreakingly and beautifully descriptive, deeply emotional, as well as atmospheric. This was the passage above, that really hit me. The contrast between the beauty, freedom and joy she once had, as appose to her life now and what she has experienced and endured, is so palpable.  



 

Thank you for your heartfelt response, Gabriel. The change of fortunes for the House of Hador must have been so shocking at first, gradually becoming a bleak everydayness. I wonder if in the beginning she still held a hope that she'd be able to get away for time to herself,? Although even if she had managed to, I think the pervasive inevitability of opression and fear would colour any experience (or rather, drain the colour out of it). 

That said, while writing this I did think that there would be times where she, and the others, might be so present with and focused on whatever chore they were performing that they would not so much forget their woes as there would just not be space for thought about them in those moments, providing little moments of temporary respite. But it didn't seem to fit in the flow of the ficlet. 

This is stunning! (And the title is just perfect). I'm happy that inspiration struck for you - I'm so moved by this piece.

I always feel bad that I haven't given more thought to Aerin. Not least because I'm such a Túrin devotee, and I wish he'd shown her more gratitude and gentleness. I'm glad you depict her as being grateful to him for igniting her spark and giving her the means of escape, horribly tragic though it all is.

Thank you, Flora, I'm pleased this moved you, awfully sad as it is. (I hadn't even thought of a title, it just came the moment I looked at the Title field, and I thought "oh, yes, that's right.")

It's interesting that you read her as being grateful to Túrin here. I hadn't thought of that, just that something finally snapped in her, but I like the idea, and it makes perfect sense that she'd feel grateful for her releae, as devastating a form as it is. (And Túrin's actions are usually so disastrous that there's few who do feel gratitude towards him, poor lad.)

Thank you so much for replying, and being so gracious about my interpretation - despite the fact that it wasn't what you'd intended or even thought! Apologies - I fear I'm too often inclined to give poor Túrin the benefit of the doubt...

It is hard to be still the one others depend on, even when she is suffering so much herself! You show that painfully clearly.

We know Sador and Asgon both appreciated her deeply, and probably also Morwen, but I can see how that might not stretch to comfort, under the circumstances. She is forced into that quiet hero role, isn't she?

Turin is perhaps the first to raise her sufferings openly in that that hall and he (unintentionally) sets her free to die. But of course in doing so he also basically sabotages a lot of her work over the years, the purpose she had been suffering for....

 

ETA: I am moved by those scenes you show her imagining, even as she knows she will not do any of these things (again). They seem to have a reality of their own, which takes us beyond what canon offers us.

Thank you so much for sharing your thoughts here - and my apologies for my tardy response.

The more thought I give Aerin's situation, the more I realise how absolutely awful it must have been for her, compounded by the outward appearance of being slightly better off than others. As the "lady of the house" I think it would have been awkward to receive comfort from the servants. And Morwen is known to be cold so I imagine she would not have been able to give Aerin the comfort Morwen denied herself (which I imagine was her way of keeping herself from from breaking down). A terrible situation for all of them, with really little solace to be found between them as it is, and then, as you say, made even worse by Disaster Boy's actions.

I am glad you were moved by her memories of the things she used to enjoy - once all is done and gone, at least there was those times of past happiness.