Our Bodies Are Our Gardens by annarobots
Fanwork Notes
This fic was originally posted on AO3 on 14 June, 2025.
AO3 Tags: Other relationships not tagged to preserve element of surprise, Cousin Incest, idiot Noldor princes, Idiots in Love, minor canonical relationships, Feanor/muskmelon, indecent treatment of vegetables, Crack Treated Seriously, Years of the Trees (Tolkien), Valinor's questionable sex education standards, sex comedy, if this reminds you of y2k teen comedies I've done my job properly, what's in the punch, Drunk Sex, Cunnilingus, First Time Blow Jobs, 69 (Sex Position), what if the Oath was about getting your dick sucked?, Platonic Blow Jobs, surprise M/M/F threesome, Quote: Anyway Here's Wonderwall (Oasis), live at Red Rocks, Rimming, Vaginal Sex, turgid Turgon
AO3 Notes: Please see tags. There are a few sex pairings I’m intentionally not tagging because I think that doing so would ruin some of the fun of reading a multi-pairing sex comedy. The surprises contain no underage, deception, or vertical or sibling incest. I will put the surprise pairings in the end notes as well so if you'd like to double check before reading, please read those first.
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Summary:
The princes of the Noldor learn about an important loophole, and swear a foolish Oath. Parties, after-parties, improbable help from parents, many first times, and declarations of love. Also, mouth stuff.
Major Characters: Turgon, Finrod Felagund, Fingon, Maglor, Celegorm
Major Relationships: Elenwë/Turgon, Amarië/Finrod, Fingon/Maedhros
Challenges:
Rating: Adult
Warnings: Check Notes for Warnings, Sexual Content (Graphic)
Chapters: 1 Word Count: 16, 625 Posted on Updated on This fanwork is complete.
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