Lyra,

Feed those plot bunnies an extra handful of greens. This is a well written piece with great imagery and a skillful twist at the end.

Surely you know by now that all Feanorian plot-bunnies have a nasty sense of humor?

This is a great story!  I love the way you sucker the reader in with a well-written account of one of those Family Vacations we all know and love (?) from our childhoods, only to add a cruel twist at the end which, unforseen by the reader, still ties in perfectly with what has gone before in the story.  You do a great job showing how Losgar is going to taint Maedhros's memories in more ways than just the obvious.

I think this is just perfect--all the details are seamlessly put in place.  Great transition from the camping trip to Losgar.  I love it.

This is great, Lyra! The way he has so completely forgotten that childhood memory until the smell of the burning wood triggers recollection is excellent. Very well done!

You certainly were right about it coming to a depressing end (which is of course only to be expected from the Noldor). This was heartbreaking, mostly because of the contrast between the innocence of their early life and the madness it all ended in.

One of the best Feanor-and-young-sons stories that I can remember.  Maitimo is extremely well written; he is a very smart kid but definitely a kid who is used to the comforts of home and not happy to spend all that time in the rain with mom and dad and a screaming baby.  And I'm glad you went with the dark bitter ending; it's a great linkage and really worked well.