Animal Farm by Babblecat  

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Fanwork Notes

Swinging 40s Prompt: Animal Farm

Fanwork Information

Summary:

Like Germany at one point or another, Melkor turns over a new leaf (for real, no jokes) and gets himself a tradwife. 

Major Characters: Melkor, Ungoliant

Major Relationships: Melkor & Ungoliant

Genre: Crackfic, Humor

Challenges: New Year's Resolution, Swinging 40s

Rating: General

Warnings:

Chapters: 1 Word Count: 567
Posted on Updated on

This fanwork is complete.

Animal Farm

Read Animal Farm

 Melkor has turned over a new leaf at a very opportune time - that being just before he was about to be thrust out into the timeless darkness beyond Eä. A very convenient moment to have a last minute change of heart. Accordingly, he retires to the country, there to live out the rest of his immortality in becoming quiet and good sense. He's not even allowed to garden.

However, he's never been the type of Dark Lord who can be on his own. He always needs minions of some sort to keep him company. Double however, the other Ainur gang up on him and proclaim that his reformation will not be believable until he settles down like them and ceases to be single and carefree. In this catastrophe Melkor spies a silver lining - his wife will be allowed to garden. Since Luthien is both dead and taken, there is only one romantic option left open to him.

“Horrible Spiderwoman, I noticed we hit it off last time we hung out, so what do you think about hooking up permanently?! I've turned over a new leaf, so I need the Valar to approve of my cottagecore aesthetics, and you're the only female who can semi-tolerate my presence!" he shouts into a gigantic black hole in the side of a mountain. Once upon a time he was the size of a mountain. But that was several years ago.

Two gargantuan forelegs emerge from the hole, hooking onto the side of the hole. Eight house-sized eyes glow in the dark, while massive jaws chitter-chatter. It's true, Melkor does enjoy being the small spoon and short king in a relationship.

“Where are my elf stones, Melkor?” asks the spider-demon.

“See, about that…”

“You lost them.”

“It's a very long story. But we have the rest of time to listen to me tell it. And who knows, maybe they'll magically fall into your, uh, laps if you stay near me.”

“I might eat you.”

“That's a risk every husband takes.”

🕷️🫶🕷️

 After a beautiful starlit wedding attended by all the Powers of the world, minus most of the grudge holding elves who continue to hate him, Melkor and Ungoliant move into a stronghold in the middle of an island in the middle of a lake far north where everything's broken. There is no one and nothing for miles around, which is perfect for Melkor, but which is a problem for Ungoliant. To this end, the couple set up a farm, an animal farm. Melkor is allowed to do this because as a husband he must support and provide for his wife. 

He begins breeding dragons immediately.

However, his leaf is still turned (and framed in the parlour) - dragons just so happen to be Ungoliant's favourite food after elf rocks. One day, in the quest for dragon eggs, she ventures outside with Little Annie, Shelob, and Bob Jr. Little Annie, Ungoliant’s least hated child, is missing a couple legs. Due to Ungoliant. As such she limps along behind the three able bodied arachnids, their steps shaking the earth and unspooling more darkness into the world. It's very cute actually, and plucks at the smoky heartstrings of her adopted father's heart. He's like, a genius, he could probably forge her a couple of mechanical legs….But he's also banned from using a forge…Oh, the moral quandaries of Family Life.


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