Hill and Water Under Sky by StarSpray  

moving forward

this takes place sometime before High in the Clean Blue Air, just after Curufin's return from Mandos

“I wondered when you would turn up,” Finrod said as Curufin was shown into the library where he had been spending the morning. “Have a seat.” The sun was shining, and the bells of Avallónë were ringing merrily. Outside the window the Bay of Eldamar glittered, and ships of all sizes and kinds drifted or raced across its surface. 

Curufin approached the table by the window, but didn’t sit. “Findaráto,” he began after taking a breath, “I need to—”

“Apologize?” Finrod interrupted, and smiled sweetly when Curufin scowled at him. “I assumed—no, don’t go bowing or kneeling, we aren’t in Tirion. Sit down.”

Still scowling, Curufin sat. “Are you going to let me say it, or are you just going to talk over me?”

“I haven’t decided yet.”

Finrod had expected this, ever since Maedhros had returned unexpectedly from Mandos—it was only a matter of time before his brothers followed, really. No one seemed to know what to do with them, but at least Maedhros and Caranthir made it easy by rarely leaving Nerdanel’s house, and the twins had disappeared into the wild, and it seemed safe at this point to assume that neither Curufin nor Celegorm would seek out the trappings and power they had wielded in their previous lives. He set his book down and leaned back in his seat, allowing himself a moment to enjoy the warmth of the sun on his hair. “I have been very angry with you,” he said after a moment, keeping his tone mild. 

“As you should be,” Curufin said. “Findaráto, I’m—I’m sorry. If there’s anything I can do that’s…that means more than just a few words, please tell me. No one else wants anything from me except for us all to pretend it never happened, but—”

“No one wants to pretend it never happened,” Finrod said. “But we do not want either to be continually looking backward. It has been a very, very long time, you know.”

“I know.”

“I do forgive you, as it happens.” Finrod leaned his elbow on the table and his cheek on his hand. “I always knew it was going to end badly—Nargothrond, I mean. Our alliance.”

Curufin met his gaze. “But you let us in anyway.”

“Yes, I did. I haven’t been able to decide whether that was wise or not.”

“All things considered, I don’t think you can say it was wise,” said Curufin. His tone was sour, but it wasn’t directed at Finrod.

“Maybe not in the long run, but I also cannot regret it.”

“I do,” Curufin said. “I regret all of it, even if I still do not have the wisdom to know what I should have done instead. I just know I should not have done what I did—I knew at the time. I’m sorry.”

Finrod sighed. “I accept your apology, Curufinwë, and as I said, I forgive you. All any of us can do now is move forward and be better than we were before. It’s not easy, of course, but if you continue on this course—of seeking peace, rather than reigniting old feuds—then you’ll find more people than you expect willing to welcome you back with open arms. It will just take time.”

“You’re far more willing than I thought you’d be,” Curufin said after a moment.

“As I said, I have had a very long time to think about it. I tried on anger and found I did not like it; I tasted hatred and found it poison. I am not willing to embrace you and bring you back into all my confidences—but who knows? That might come with time. I have missed you—all of you, my cousins and my friends.”

Curufin dropped his gaze to the table. He looked very different now from when Finrod had last seen him. This new body was not battle-hardened or scarred; it was soft-cheeked and smooth-skinned, and Curufin had not been returned to life long enough to learn again how to hide all of his emotions. “I missed you too,” he admitted quietly after a moment, seeming not to realize that that truth was written across his face already. 

“Go back home to your brothers, Curufinwë,” Finrod said. “Go back to your forge and make things again—there is no call for blades, here, but much call for beauty.”

Some months later, when he returned to Tirion, Finrod found a package waiting for him. Inside was a circlet of gold and silver interlocking stars. It sparkled as Finrod held it up, and at first he couldn’t tell how, until he looked closer and saw that it was set with countless diamonds scarcely bigger than grains of sand.