To Erase Him by ExileInValariandë  

A Wedding in Aman

Maedhros & Nendalin are married and some healing begins

       The day was beautiful- flowers fully in bloom, the light of the Two Trees glowing all around. A great many Valar and Eldar attended the wedding of Maedhros and Nendalin- even those who were beginning to hold Fëanor in ill feeling. 

     He had been recently speaking out against the Valar and their intentions… poisoned by the whisperings of Melkor. He had also become dangerously obsessed with his creation of the Silmarils- prioritizing them above many things- and people. Nevertheless, these happenings did not mar the joy of the day. Nendalin was the picture of grace in a long dress of light teal inlaid with gold. Her long hair had been intricately styled with a jeweled headpiece upon her forehead. Maedhros too was the picture of Elven grace- dressed in red velvet formal robes with a copper circlet upon his own brow. His long deep auburn hair he wore loose- in its naturally wavy state.

     There was much feasting, dancing, and merriment that day. And though many times Nendalin found herself scanning the party uneasily for the specter of Curufin, he thankfully did not make himself known that day. Many were not sure he had even attended at all. While the guests celebrated deep into the night, the newly joined couple stole away to their new abode. Maedhros and Nendalin were buzzing, warm with many glasses of wine and high on the day itself. Inside, they relaxed into easy companionship, free of the eyes of others.

“I never dreamed I would see Finarfin dance as such!” Nendalin laughed, wrapping her arms around Maedhros' waist playfully.

He hummed in an agreement with a glowing smile. His blue eyes were bright, creasing at the sides with joy. He kissed her, lingering on her lips a moment. Nendalin melted in his arms at once.

“Let us share one more glass of wine, melme” she insisted, craning her neck to look at his face as he rocked her to and fro.

“I’d rather we keep our senses.” he kissed her again, this time with a slow thoughtfulness.

She took his meaning, nodding intently and returning his kiss. Maedhros lifted her up with hands under her thighs, carrying her to their bed. He did not take his eyes from hers. 

     Maedhros had been imagining this moment for so long, though it pained him that it may now be tinged with unease, after what Nendalin had endured with Curufin. They rarely spoke of it, but she felt it In Maedhros’ hesitation to kiss her too passionately or be too eager for her body. She understood that he was holding back out of his love and respect for her. His duty as her fëa's other half…. Maedhros was one for duty. Truth be told, Nendalin herself did not know whether what had happened to her would affect her intimate life. She had spent weeks working with the Healers in Tirion mending her body and spirit. Still, unease continued to haunt her. When Maedhros would unexpectedly hug her from behind; when he would hold her just a touch too tightly. Her entire body would tense up and no longer be at ease with him. This grieved her so. She wanted to be open and vulnerable with the ellon she loved more than all of Aman. Perceptive as he was, Maedhros recognized these moments often. So, it was no surprise when Nendalin suddenly stopped their kissing, as he held her in his lap.

“Have I done something wrong, meleth?” He breathed, his eyes fluttering open in concern.

For one so strong and full of power he held a softness for only her. She treasured it deeply.

“No…no, Nelyo, I am frightened.”

“Frightened? Of me? … Nendalin, if this is causing discomfort, we need not continue. We can wait, of course.” he assured her, stroking her cheek with the back of his hand.

“It is not you I am frightened of. Please, do not misunderstand my hesitation. I desire this. I love you so… I want nothing more than for you to erase him.” Nendalin spoke honestly, finally meeting his worried eyes.

“I do not want this to be about him.” Maedhros narrowed his eyes, his energy shifting slightly.

“It is not… it is about us reclaiming what should have been ours. It is about reclaiming my fëa from this darkness. I would have no other help me with this. I trust you, Maitimo.” she explained, her grey eyes steady.

Maedhros blue eyes searched the velvet blankets they sat on. He understood that part of a true marriage of the Eldar was not simply the exchange of vows, but the joining of body. He had wondered if that then tied Nendalin’s fëa irreversibly to Curufin. He prayed that not be the case. The silence between them hung thick. But Maedhros finallymet her gaze, pushing aside the deepest fears of his heart. He took her meaning, cupping her face reverently in his large hands.

“I will…. I have you, melme. Nin nahtie.” Maedhros ghosted his lips over hers, kissing her deeply.

And though her heart pounded wildly, she melted into his arms. The strong arms that engulfed her body, wrapping it in everlasting safety and warmth. Her legs wrapped around his waist, she had never felt safer...