On the paths of life by Aprilertuile  

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Chapter 6: Exams are approaching

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Celegorm didn’t say it, but when the time of his exams came close, and his contract in the shopping center came to an end, he was so relieved he could have cried.

He couldn’t express in words how much he loathed this job.

He held on, mostly with Oromë’s and Vána’s encouragements, but by now he was starting to understand why some people just lost their mind and went to work with a weapon to unleash all their pent up hatred and rage on whoever they felt deserved it.

But the first week-end after he was freed from that awful, awful job, he took his revision sheets, water, snacks, a rain coat just in case and went to walk one of the national park’s trails. He walked just enough to find a nice shaded place with a cold, always cold, stream passing through and sat there to study.

Obviously his parents never believed he studied anything when he settled outside to do it but frankly at this point he couldn’t care less. Studying could be done anywhere at all. And only being outside in nature made maths and philosophy palatable.

Also at home the squirrel tended to try to eat his pen, or his work, so...

He had no idea how much time passed when he was intruded upon by a bemused park ranger.

“You alright here, kid?”

“No I’m not. Math is trying to turn my brain to mush.” He answered before he realised who he was speaking to: “uh I mean, yeah, I’m fine, sorry.”

The man laughed quietly at that, shaking his head, and kept walking up the trail.

Celegorm checked his watch and grimaced. Only an hour had passed. He could have sworn more time had gone but no. Math truly had a gift to make time pass oh so slowly.

He briefly considered taking a break but he knew himself. If he took a break he wouldn’t return to his lessons and he needed to get this right. He sighed and, with great difficulties, he went back to it.

The sun had moved significantly when he found himself interrupted by Oromë:

“Hey, kid.”

“Hey, old man.” Celegorm answered distractedly.

“Ouch, that hurts!”

Celegorm smiled as he looked up, and looked back down to the massive dog at Oromë’s side:

“Hi Oromë.”

Oromë looked at the revision sheets in his hands, briefly. By now he had gone into his philosophy courses.

“I see you chose an interesting study place.”

“I have a squirrel and 4 brothers living at home, among which a pair of twins who don’t believe in quiet or privacy. And I hate going to the library so… Here it is.”

“Fair enough. Are you ready for the final exams?”

“I’m both confident I can do it, and worried I’m about to fail everything, hence my last minute studying.”

Oromë snorted softly.

“You gave all you could for this project so far. I’m confident you can do it, kid.” Oromë said, placing a gentle hand on his shoulder.

Celegorm leaned against him, soaking up the attention of the older man.

“And if I fail?”

“You’ll have tried your hardest, you’ll have done everything you could to succeed. It’s better to try, and fail, than to not try and forever regret it. Believe me kid. Don’t do that to yourself.”

Celegorm wanted so much to ask the other man what he shied away from doing…

“How did you find me?”

“Incidentally. I want to go to the lake side.”

Celegorm nodded, this path was the straightest path to get there but…

“So late in the day?”

“I didn’t say I’d have hours to spend there, but I can go there and back before night time today. Nahar needed the exercise so...” Oromë shrugged.

“Nahar, uh? Is that your dog’s name?”

“Yes.”

“What breed is that?”

“It’s a wolfhound.”

Celegorm looked impressed despite himself.

“May I pet him?”

“Certainly. Nahar, sit.”

The dog obeyed, and Celegorm passed his hands in the soft fur of the absolutely massive dog.

“You are a beautiful creature, Nahar.” Celegorm whispered to the happy dog.

Oromë observed them quietly for a time and finally:

“Do you want to come with us? Take a break. You need to breathe too.” He offered.

Celegorm looked at his study papers and finally put them all in his backpack, ready to follow Oromë.

It would do him a world of good to go for a walk and clear his head after several hours of work.

The day was warm but not too hot to walk in the park, the trees offered a nice shade, the ever present wind provided a nice cool feeling, and, in Celegorm’s opinion, the excellent company he had on this walk alone was doing a lot to relax his nerves, and settle his pent up energy.

“The job I want…” He started.

“Yes?”

“It’s based on a competitive examination. Last year there were 1200 people on the list… And 32 accepted.”

“That’s a sharp cut off.”

“Hm. You have to be the best to manage.” Celegorm sighed.

Oromë nodded.

“Passion might help.” He offered.

Celegorm smiled quietly.

“It might. Or I might be destroying my future trying to do something hopeless.”

Oromë snorted.

“I doubt that. Pretty sure that even if you don’t manage the competitive examination, if you pass your diploma, you’ll have alternative work available in fields close enough to your dream job to still be interesting.”

Celegorm remained silent for a bit and the nodded:

“I know but…”

“But you worry.”

“But I worry.” He nodded.

Oromë passed his arm around Celegorm’s shoulders as they were walking, Nahar trotting happily at their side.

“Alas, you forgot a golden rule, kid.”

“Oh?”

“Take things step by step. First you need your high-school diploma, then you need to work on your university diploma, and only then you’ll need to worry about the competitive examination. You won’t have the knowledge or training to do anything about the last one if you don’t get both your diplomas first.”

Celegorm didn’t answer. It was hard not to worry, but the quiet confidence of the man was something he needed and leant into.