For The World’s More Full Of Weeping Than You Can Understand by LadySternchen  

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Chapter 2

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“Now we have… a half-empty cup of cream, about…” Beleg held the next jar up to the light and examined it from all directions “…let’s say four teaspoons of sour cream, an onion that has definitely seen better days, and… that’s it.”

The desperate expression on his best friend’s face looked so funny that Mablung actually laughed. Beleg was never desperate, ever. Unless he was hungry. Then he transformed into an oversized toddler.

“I think I have some pasta left.” Mablung suggested, pulling out his bin from the storage cupboard and holding out the package to his friend.

Beleg snorted in disgust, and Mablung couldn’t quite blame him. None of this sounded like it would actually make for a nice meal, and his stomach, too, was rumbling after a long day of academic work.

Their salvation came, thankfully, in the form of their fellow first-year student Michiko. Mablung liked her a lot, and truly admired her determination to study so far away from home.

“I have some frozen peas and Parmesan cheese to spare, if you like. Oh, and a handful of shiitake mushrooms. I just couldn’t use them today, and my flight leaves at 8 o’clock tomorrow. So you’re free to have them, if you like.”

Mablung and Beleg beamed at her. With pasta and cheese, they’d have a meal, and with a bit of imagination, they’d certainly manage to make something with the rest as well.

“Are you sure? Both won’t exactly go bad in a month.”

“No, they’ll just get pushed to the very back and then go bad.” Michiko laughed. “Have them, really. So all is clean before I leave.”

“Thanks a lot, that really is so kind. Are you excited to go home?”

“Oh yes. I’ve already downloaded an entire series to my tablet so I can watch during the flight.”

That sounded like a plan to Mablung, though he still pitied her for having to sit on a plane for over ten hours.

“Did you get a direct flight?”

“Yes.” Michiko clapped her hands enthusiastically. “I did. With the minor drawback of then having to travel on for some hours from Narita. Osaka would be much more convenient for my parents’ house, but I’d still rather change trains than planes.”

After wishing her a pleasant flight, Mablung and Beleg got to work in earnest. They ended up making a pasta sauce out of all the ingredients they had, and the result smelled surprisingly delicious. They ladled it out into three bowls, then—after cleaning the pot because Mablung insisted on not leaving the dishes till later and Beleg grumbling about how he and Elu would be the most insufferably pernickety couple ever—took it back to Mablung and Elu’s room, together with the cup of tea Mablung had promised Elu earlier.

“Can you open the door? We’ve got our hands full!” Beleg called with his head against the door, while softly knocking on it with his foot.

They waited for Elu to answer, but the door remained closed, and they couldn’t hear a thing from the room within. Beleg kicked the door with his shoe once more, but there was still no reaction. Mablung felt unease creeping up from his insides, tightening his throat, and his emotions must have shown on his face, because Beleg rolled his eyes at him.

“No, you don’t put the bowls down to get your key. Elu!” he shouted the last word, and gave the door another forceful kick. “Open the door, we’ve got our hands full!”

There was a shuffling noise from inside, and Elu’s muffled voice.

“Just a mo!”

It really was only a moment before the door was opened, and there Elu stood, looking utterly dishevelled.

“I’m sorry. I fell asleep.” he mumbled apologetically.

Beleg gave Mablung a rather knowing look, one that made Mablung blush a little. He himself could not explain why his thoughts always jumped to the worst possible scenarios where Elu was concerned. He considered himself neither an especially optimistic person nor an especially pessimistic one, and was certainly nobody to lose his head easily in a crisis. It was really only his boyfriend he was constantly worried about. There was just something… frail about Elu, something delicate, something that no one else saw. And unlike Mablung himself, Elu had nobody to protect him, nobody to stand up for him, nobody to care for him, when he had proven already that he was not capable of caring for himself. So Mablung had taken that role upon himself, and would carry it out as long as he lived. Beleg would call that cheesy, surely, but Mablung knew that he would never love anyone else the same way he loved Elu. He was his one and only. Only maybe he would have to find a more balanced way of caring for his boyfriend, one that could do without over-dramatising every situation.

“That smells good.” Elu smiled, once they had handed him his bowl of pasta and his tea. “I’m really not hungry, but…”

“…but you’re going to eat this anyway because you need sustenance, or you won’t be fit in time for your exams.” Beleg finished the sentence for him.

Mablung chuckled. That was how getting Elu to eat was done, and it considerably warmed his heart to know that Beleg was in on the job, too.

“So, what are you planning for the holidays, Elu? After your exam, obviously.” Beleg asked again conversationally, after they had finished eating and Elu sat sipping his cup of tea.

“Olwë is coming home for a few days just after my exam, and we’re going to visit Mum at the nursing home. After that, Elmo’s foster parents invited me for two weeks. I can’t wait to see him.”

The longing in his boyfriend’s voice made Mablung edge a little closer to him for comfort.

“That’s really good of them. I’m glad they are so supportive.”

“Yeah. I sometimes wonder if I’m being selfish for wanting Elmo back. He has a proper family there, a mum and dad and siblings. A normal life.”

Had Elu not held a mug of hot tea in his hand, Mablung would probably have hit him over the head.

“Idiot! They can be the best parents ever, that still wouldn’t change the fact that Elmo wants you, and no one but you. You know that!”

“I know,” Elu sighed. “But kids will want a lot of things that aren’t the best for them.”

“You are the best for Elmo. Even social services noted how well cared for he was. Will you call him later, by the way?”

Elu shook his head, a smile spreading over his face.

“He called me just after you two left. They just had dinner, and he noticed he’s got his first wobbly tooth, which he needed to tell me at once.”

“Naturally.” Beleg laughed. “See? That’s exactly what I mean. He loves you so much.“

“Mhm, I know.” Elu hummed, and laid his head on Mablung’s shoulder.

“Oh boy, you’re burning up. Have you taken your temperature?”

“No. I don’t have a thermometer.”

Mablung snorted in disgust. When he had left for university, his mum had insisted on him taking a bag of medical essentials— thermometer, bandaids, antiseptics, saline vials, that sort of thing— and he was sure that Elu would have done the same thing when Olwë had left, and would do it again when it was Elmo’s turn to leave home. But he couldn’t look after himself. Or wouldn’t.

“I do. Wait a moment. It’s an old-fashioned one, though, not one of the fancy no-touch things.”

“They’re unreliable when you have a higher fever, anyway.” Beleg chimed in, while Elu groaned.

Ignoring both his friends, Mablung got up from the bed to head to his drawer, where he kept his little first-aid box. There was a blister of Aspirins and some VapoRub in there as well, Mablung noted with satisfaction. So he had something to give Elu should he get worse overnight.

“Here you go.” he said, handing the thermometer over to Elu, who opened his mouth obediently.

“Nice try. Nah, there’s only one place to properly take one’s temperature, as you know perfectly well. Go on, take your jeans off and lie down.”

The look Elu gave Mablung was one of mingled indignation and embarrassment, but Mablung was unfazed. More so since Elu looked very cute when he blushed like that.

“I most certainly won’t.” Elu protested, his ears and neck still bright red.

“Oh, come on, Elu, don’t be such a baby. It’s not like Mablung doesn’t shove other things up your arse, and you love every moment of it.”

“BELEG!”

Mablung and Elu had shouted in unison, which, far from leaving an impression on Beleg, had him doubled over with laughter. He was not wrong, though. The throbbing in Mablung’s groin at the very thought was proof enough for that.

“What?” Beleg asked innocently, once he could talk again. “I’ll leave you two to it, though. I need to pack and then get some sleep. Get well soon, Elu, and good luck with your exam. See you on March 1st at the latest. Shall I turn off the light on my way out?”

“Yes, please.” Elu answered, apparently choosing not to hear Beleg’s suggestive tone. “My head is killing me just now, and there’s enough light coming in through the window as it is.”

They both hugged Beleg, then Elu let himself sink back into the bed with a sigh, and Mablung, deciding that the dirty plates could wait a little, lay down beside him.

“This is nice.” Elu sighed contently, snuggling into Mablung’s arms.

“Mhm” Mablung hummed his assent “But I still need to take your temperature. Or you do it yourself.”

Elu merely grumbled, but unbuttoned his jeans nonetheless and wriggled out of them, leaving Mablung to pull down his pants a little. This was vengeance, Mablung was well aware, but he found it to be foul play, anyway. Undressing his boyfriend without being allowed to make out was cruel.

“Be over in a moment.” he assured Elu anyway, his indignation melting as he felt Elu shiver.

“How high?” Elu asked, once the thermometer beeped.

“39.6.”

“Wonderful.” Elu replied, very sarcastically.

Mablung chuckled as he wiped the thermometer with a disinfectant wipe, but as he made to get up to put it all back, Elu held him back.

“Stay with me, please. I need you close just now.”

“I still need to clean up, though.”

“Please?”

It was not like Mablung needed a lot of persuasion. The dishes would sadly go nowhere, and he had longed for this the whole day. Recognising defeat, therefore, Mablung snuggled himself more comfortably against Elu, who put one of his legs across Mablung’s.

“One thing’s for certain, I won’t need a hot water bottle tonight.” Mablung joked.

Elu did not answer, only hummed, and pressed his face harder into the crook of Mablung’s arm.

“I’ve got a problem.” he muttered after a while, his voice muffled since he had his mouth and nose pressed against Mablung’s sweater.

“What problem?”

Perhaps feeling the need to actually breathe, Elu lifted his face a little.

“It’s all Beleg’s fault, him with his stupid joke about the thermometer, and the stupid thermometer itself.”

Mablung felt his grin widen with every word Elu said. Surely, surely he couldn’t be serious? Not Elu who next to never initiated actual sex?

“Are you serious?” he chuckled.

“No.” Elu groaned. “I want to sleep. But my cock is dead serious.”

As though to prove his statement, Elu took Mablung’s hand and guided it down between them, until it came to rest over the bulge in his pants. Mablung’s heart rate quickened as he felt his boyfriend’s erection through the thin fabric, felt Elu’s cock strain against his palm.

“Yes, that counts as serious.” he teased as Elu moaned softly. “And I would lie if I claimed that mine wasn’t.”

He had hoped for sex tonight, but had quickly banished that thought from his mind when Elu had come home sick. As it was, he would surely not fuck Elu when his boyfriend was this feverish, but he could still take care of him, and that was quite as good. Only when he resumed his ministrations, Elu held him back.

“Don’t. I want you in me. I need your cock up my arse, not just that fucking thermometer.”

“Are you sure? You’re really not well…”

“I don’t care. Please, Mablung.”

Denying Elu anything he asked for was not Mablung’s strength to begin with, and denying him something he himself wanted so badly even less. Add Elu’s pleading puppy-eyed look to it, and Mablung’s resolution to not over-exert Elu crumbled into nothingness. He was out of his own trousers and pants in no time, then rid Elu of his pants for good. Once their shirts and jumpers had followed, he reached for the lube they kept in their (well, Elu’s, strictly speaking) bedside drawer. His own cock throbbed as he gently nudged Elu’s legs apart and started to prepare him, massaging him gently, then slipped one finger inside his boyfriend.

To give Elu time to accustom himself to the sensation, Mablung kissed his way up his stomach until he could play with the piercing Elu wore on his right nipple. He tucked at the small ring with his lips, just enough to make Elu gasp and his cock twitch. Mablung’s own cock was fully hard now, not least because every time he touched that piercing, he remembered Elu having it done. Was that saying something about him, Mablung wondered as he let his tongue play with the metal, that despite his always worrying about Elu, the memory of his boyfriend lying on that bed and getting a quite painful procedure done never failed to get him hard?

He had no time for any more musings, for Elu shifted a little, and gently forced Mablung to look up.

“Come on. I won’t last two seconds anyway, but I need to feel you inside me when I come.”

Mablung complied, raising himself on his knees before Elu, allowing him to take care of properly lubricating his cock. The touch of Elu’s long, slender fingers made his entire body prickle, and he was almost sorry that he could not let Elu go on for long. At least not if he wanted to spill within him rather than all over him. It seemed that neither of them would take long tonight, needy as they both were.

“Turn on your side.” he whispered breathlessly, with a gentle slap to Elu’s thigh.

It was what worked best for them in this rather confined space, and Mablung loved being able to watch Elu like this, to be able to touch him everywhere, even if that came with the drawback of being on his knees.

“Oh my…” he moaned, when he was finally sheathed completely in his boyfriend and felt the maddening tightness that greeted him.

Elu hissed, his fist clenched in desire and pain in equal measure. Mablung placed his hand on Elu’s stomach, then let it slide to his cock, making Elu suck the air in sharply.

Hell, yes. He loved nothing more than seeing his boyfriend in the throes of pleasure. It gave him such a deep sense of satisfaction to reduce quiet, reserved Elu to a frantically panting mess.

Moving his hand over the length of Elu’s cock and down to his balls, then slowly started to thrust, just minor movements so as not to overwhelm Elu, and not come at once.

“Yes. God, yes. Oh Mablung…”

But then Elu coughed, his convulsive movements sending jolts through Mablung’s cock.

“Shhh. Easy. Breathe.”

But try as he might, even biting down on his knuckles, Elu could not manage to control his coughing, so Mablung quickly pulled out of him. Elu whimpered, either at the sudden feeling of emptiness or the frustration about the situation, a sentiment Mablung could very well relate to, but they really had no choice. Elu tried to sit up, and Mablung quickly supported him, rubbing his back until the coughing fit had subsided.

“I don’t think…” Elu wheezed “…that I can lie flat long… enough.”

He coughed again.

“Damn cold.”

Mablung pulled Elu into his arms, soothingly stroking his hair out of his face that came loose from its bun now.

“Hey, it doesn’t matter, don’t worry. And I really think this is more than just a cold.”

“Yes, it does matter.” Elu said indignantly, ignoring the second part of what Mablung had said “I know you’ve been looking forward to this the whole week.”

Elu sounded close to tears, which told Mablung that really, they shouldn’t talk about sex just now, but about getting him settled in bed as soon as possible. He coughed again, leaning against the wall as soon as the coughing ceased, his hair sticking to his sweaty forehead. Guilt gnawed at Mablung. He should never have consented to this in the first place. Still, when Elu managed to open his eyes again and focus his glassy gaze at Mablung, it was full of stubborn determination.

“And before you say anything, before you even think of beating yourself up because you over-exerted me or something like this— I have been looking forward to it, too. I might have been fine with cuddling, but since you insisted on sticking stuff in me, I want the nice stuff, too.”

“We may have to recognise defeat on that one.” Mablung said softly, taking to  consolingly rubbing Elu’s back again when the next coughing fit shook him. “There’s no way you can comfortably lie down, and no offence meant, but I don’t think you have the strength to top tonight, either.”

He was grinning despite his words, though. Elu’s determination was beyond adorable, and moreover hilarious. It really was a mark of the depth of their relationship that Elu reluctantly grinned back.

“Yeah, I’ll give you that one. But you know, I don’t need much strength sitting like this…”

He pulled Mablung over, and Mablung didn’t resist the pressure. His cock was still semi-hard, despite their less-than-sexy conversation, and one look at his boyfriend told him that Elu was not faring any differently.

“Come on my lap.” Elu breathed in Mablung’s ear between little nibs. “Even if I can’t have you inside me tonight, you can have me. Which is just as good.”

A rush of desire spread through Mablung’s body at Elu’s words, and he moaned before he sought Elu’s lips in response. It was the first real, deep kiss they had shared this evening, and just now, Mablung didn’t even care that if by some miracle he had until now avoided catching what Elu had, now he most certainly wouldn’t. Who would care, really?

“I promise you,” Mablung whispered breathlessly once they broke apart, “we’ll repeat this once you’re well again, and then I’m gonna fuck you so good that you’ll call the wait worthwhile.”

“You always fuck me so good,” Elu mumbled, kissing the side of Mablung’s neck. “Have I ever told you how beautiful you are?”

Mablung chuckled, complying by climbing over Elu’s folded legs and lowering himself onto his cock, but only enough to tease his boyfriend, still bearing his own weight on his knees.

“You may have told me once or twice.”

That, of course, was a major understatement. Elu never failed to tell him, and Mablung knew himself that he was not uncomely to look at. They were a handsome couple as it was, though in Mablung’s eyes, it would always be Elu who was the true beauty of the two of them, with his delicate features, light grey eyes, and hair that fell below his waist. He truly looked, and ever had done, like a fairy prince, and Mablung loved every inch of that long, lanky frame with every fibre of his heart.

Mablung did not tell Elu that, lest it went to his head, but instead parted his lips once more with his tongue, burying his fingers in Elu’s hair.

“I think you need to turn around.” Elu panted against Mablung’s lips, his cock straining against his thigh. “I don’t think we’ll manage that angle.”

Mablung groaned in protest, longing for Elu to finally fill him, but there was too much truth in Elu’s words to be ignored. And he really, really didn’t want to waste the cough-free time Elu had before the next fit with acrobatics.

“I hate not being able to look at you,” he complained nonetheless, turning around awkwardly and sitting down again.

“I know,” Elu hummed, helping Mablung to adjust his body. “But this has its merits, too.”

“Like what?” Mablung huffed.

“Like this.”

Elu tenderly stroked Mablung’s hair to one side and bent to suckle the sensitive skin of his neck again, a sensation that made Mablung’s cock jump.

“Mmmmm. You… oh, fuck, don’t stop… you could have done that with me sitting the other way round, though.”

Elu chuckled hoarsely.

“Maybe. But not this…”

He wrapped his right arm around Mablung’s torso and started drawing circles around Mablung’s nipple, a feeling that drove Mablung even further to the edge than Elu kissing his neck. Goosebumps erupted all over Mablung’s skin when Elu next reached down as well, taking Mablung’s neglected cock in hand.

“Fuuuuck.”

“Alright. Your wish is my command.”

Elu let go of Mablung’s cock for a moment, and by the squelching noise that followed, Mablung knew that Elu had squeezed some lube onto his fingers. Next second, these fingers were spreading his buttocks and teasing his hole, making Mablung moan helplessly. He knew it wasn’t prudent to urge Elu to skip this and delve right in, knew that he would regret it instantly if he told his boyfriend so, but he whined impatiently nonetheless.

“Now, don’t be so hasty, Master Mablung.”

They both laughed, because this just never got old.

“I’m not being hasty. But if you don’t hurry up, I’m gonna spill untouched.”

Thankfully, Elu finally had mercy on him and gripped his hips to guide him down onto his cock. For a moment, the familiar overwhelming feeling of being stretched made Mablung tense, then he relaxed, allowing Elu to sink into him fully. He was far too ready to be overwhelmed for long, and Elu’s sharp inhale was enough to send another wave of desire through him, anyway. For a moment they stayed unmoving, then Mablung started to rock his hip, and Elu once more took to caressing Mablung’s cock. And holy crap, he knew what he was doing alright.

Mablung felt his legs tremble as he came ever closer to his climax, far too soon for his liking. He wanted to keep going like this forever. Panting, he laid his head back on Elu’s shoulder, allowing him to take over the lead and determine the rhythm of their lovemaking.

“Oh. Oh, Elu…”

All became a whirl of colour to Mablung as his orgasm rushed over him, and before he had fully ridden it out, he felt a sharp pain on his neck that told him that Elu had bitten down on his skin when his desire overwhelmed him. Mablung moaned, partly because of the pain, partly because feeling Elu spill within him was such a beautiful sensation, causing Elu to let go and chuckle apologetically. Mablung didn’t mind in the slightest, though, quite the contrary. He loved to get Elu to a point where he lost control, where no amount of self-restraint stood between them, where he could make his boyfriend forget all that he believed himself to be.

“That was good,” he panted, when they finally lay collapsed in each other’s arms, their bodies still sweaty.

“Yeah.”

Elu’s voice was barely a whisper, and now that he came down from the adrenaline rush, Mablung could feel him shiver.

“Are you cold?”

There was no answer, but Mablung carefully pulled Elu’s blanket over them nonetheless. “Thanks.” Elu mumbled sleepily, opening his eyes by a fraction and wrapping his arm around Mablung’s torso. “Do you know how much I love you?”

He was gone for good before Mablung had the chance to reply, but that did nothing to lessen the warm glow that had ignited in Mablung’s chest, and was spreading through his whole body at those words. He kissed Elu’s burning temple softly, then replied in a whisper, even though he knew that Elu could not hear him:

“Yeah, I guess I do.”

It was very comfortable lying like this, with Elu as his living hot-water bottle, and listening to the sounds of the dorm around them. There was chatter, laughter, suitcases being dragged, doors closing. The smell of instant ramen drifted through the crack beneath the door. Mablung could see the lights gleaming in the other wings of the dorm, showing that roughly half of the rooms were still occupied. He wondered if anyone would guess, when looking at their dark window from outside, that they were not on their way home already but lay snuggled in a shared bed, having just had great sex. Well, maybe their neighbours knew, for as quiet as they made themselves be, the creaking of the worn springs would still tell the tale. Be it. This was university, after all. Where, if not here, would there be understanding? He trusted that no one would actually tell the tale to dorm management. Just in this moment, he could not be happier.